Itisinthiscontextthatweshouldgiveduerecognitionto a trulygravehurtthatcanunfold, withinestablishedrelationships, whenthereisalmostnotouchleftbetweentheparties, whenonepartnerrepeatedlymovestoholdtheother's hand, orperhapscaresstheirshoulderorwaist, andreceivesnoresponseatall, or a subtleturnawayandwithdrawal.
Butthereisasmuchlonelinessandagonywithinsettledcouplesaroundunheldhands, exceptthathereitfeels a greatdealmoreembarrassingandmorehumiliatingeventoraisetheissue.
Weshouldnotcompoundourmiseryby a sensethatwearenotallowedtofeelorshareit.
感じてはいけない、共有してはいけないという感覚で、不幸を複合化させてはいけません。
Then, whenwecanmanageit, weshouldlearntopickupthepartner's handwith a newfoundconfidenceandsaythatthelittleflinchorinertnesswefeelwhenwedosois a hugeproblemforus, thatwhattheymayblithelydismissas 'thistouchingbusiness' ispartofwhywe'rein a relationshipinthefirstplace, thatitmattersasmuchasanythingelsedoestousandthatiftheycareatallforusorinanywayaboutthecontinuanceoftheunion, thentheywillhavetotakethepainonboardatlast.