Name: 残酷な真実：なぜあなたの元彼は他の誰かにぴったりなのか？ (The Cruel Truth: Why Your Ex Is Perfect for Someone Else)
Uploaded: 2025-08-20T18:02:17.000Z
Duration: 5 min 24 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

法助動詞 B1

The reality of relationships is that many of the struggles we had with our now ex-partners, though they appeared circular and fruitless at the time, are likely to be precisely what will help them to become, in the future, ideal partners for someone else. It's the very difficulties we had, the arguments, blind spots and stalemates, that will prepare them for unions filled with insight, harmony and serenity next time around. Unbeknownst to us, we may for a long time have been in the business of helping someone else to be very happy. There will typically be few signs of our unwittingly selfless groundwork. The fraught closing stages of the relationship are unlikely to have seemed like an emotional finishing school or a forum for psychological maturation. There might have been a succession of seemingly sterile fights when we questioned why they spent so much time obsessing about their brother or expecting their mother to rescue them. There might have been a variety of tense conversations about certain of their friends or their approach to work. We might have been accused of being mean or overly critical. Perhaps there was a sulk that lasted twelve hours and a moment when they called us a blockhead and we told them we wished we had never met them – even though, or precisely because, we loved them so deeply.

人間関係の現実とは、私たちが元パートナーとの間に経験した葛藤の多くが、当時は回りくどくて実りのないものに見えたとしても、将来彼らが他の誰かにとって理想的なパートナーになるために役立つものである可能性が高いということだ。私たちが経験した困難、口論、盲点、行き詰まりこそが、次に彼らが洞察力、調和、平穏に満ちた結婚をするための準備となるのだ。私たちの知らないところで、私たちは長い間、誰かがとても幸せになるのを助ける仕事をしてきたのかもしれない。私たちが知らず知らずのうちに無私の地道な努力を積み重ねてきたことを示

程度の副詞

We can be charitable towards these choppy moments. Relationships typically involve sincere attempts by both partners to raise the other's level of self-awareness and empathy. None of us are perfect and the arena in which these imperfections are first identified and grappled with is in the close-up conditions of love. The problem isn't our mutual educational intent but the terrible way in which it's generally carried out. We're on the whole very poor teachers and equally bad students. In the teaching role, we spot multiple things in our partners but are so worried that they won't understand and change that we almost guarantee that they won't ever do so. We address them in high-handed, urgent moods.

私たちは、このようなぎこちない瞬間に対して慈しむことができる。人間関係には通常、相手の自己認識と共感のレベルを高めようとする、両パートナーの誠実な試みが含まれる。私たちの誰もが完璧ではなく、その不完全さを最初に認識し、取り組む場は、恋愛というクローズアップされた条件の中にある。問題は、私たちの相互の教育的意図ではなく、それが一般的に実行される恐ろしい方法である。私たちは全体的に、教師としても生徒としても非常に劣っている。教えるという役割の中で、私たちは相手の中にある複数の事柄に気づくが、相手が理解せず変わ

We forget that no one has ever learned anything by being humiliated. We try to get them to see a vital point in the middle of the night or when we're both exhausted or on the way to the airport or doctor's appointment. We forget to deploy humour and reassurance.

恥をかかされて何かを学んだ人などいないことを忘れている。私たちは、真夜中や疲れ切っているとき、あるいは空港や医者の診察に向かう途中などに、重要な点を理解してもらおうとする。ユーモアや安心感を与えることを忘れてしまう。

We think it will help things if we spice up our lessons with phrases like, and everyone else knows this about you too or and you're exactly like your dad. And when we're in the student role, we're equally unimaginative, brittle and hasty. We swiftly resent the partner for spotting something complicated in our characters that we know deep down does need addressing and we disingenuously complain to our friends that our partners don't love us as we are, as though anyone should ever do such a thing. In fear, we regressively equate true love with boundless approval. We cannot allow that someone should both be deeply on our side and justly want to criticise us. Nevertheless, once the heat has gone out of the moment, once we've taken the decision to part and cried alone in our apartment over many weeks, some of the things we most wanted to get across to our partners and they to us will finally have a chance to be absorbed. When the other is no longer in the vicinity, when a point isn't being made with vehemence or insistence, it can become easier to think that yes, perhaps there might have been something to reflect on about one's relationship to a sibling or a parent, a friendship or a professional matter. Pride is no longer on the line, dignity is no longer ruffled. When the classroom has been blown up and the teacher dismissed, homework can finally begin. And so, months or years later, our erstwhile partner may arrive in a new relationship with the fault lines which we fought over with such agitation substantially healed. In their attractive outfit which we brought with them, gazing into the middle distance, they may casually remark, I had a few problems with my brother a while back but that's all sorted out now. Or they may, as they pour themselves a little more white wine, explain with uncommon sagacity that making time for personal life is very important to me now, however much I do enjoy my job. And the new partner will take delight in how extraordinarily grounded and poised their beloved appears to be in so many ways.

そして、他のみんなもあなたのことを知っていますよ、とか、あなたはお父さんにそっくりですね、とか。そして私たちが生徒役になると、同じように想像力に欠け、もろく、性急になってしまう。心の底では対処が必要だとわかっていながら、自分の複雑な性格を見抜いたパートナーをすぐに恨み、パートナーはありのままの自分を愛してくれないと、まるでそんなことをする人はいないかのように、友人に軽率に愚痴をこぼす。恐怖のあまり、私たちは真の愛を限りない承認と同一視してしまう。私たちは、誰かが深く私たちの味方であると同時に、正当に私たち

It could sound like the grounds for bitterness were it not for one redemptive detail. The process is likely to be two ways. With any luck, we too will eventually meet someone who appears, entirely naturally, to have a deep understanding of themselves, a mature way of relating to their flaws and a deft way of sailing over the complexities of their character. They will apologise before we even thought of saying anything. They will seem miraculously open to feedback over certain topics and their insight into the complexities of their pasts will awe us. We'll think that this is the way they were born. No one will know and everyone will feel, after so many tears with their tricky ex, hugely blessed.

ある救済的な詳細がなければ、苦い思いをする根拠のように聞こえるかもしれない。その過程は二通りあるだろう。運がよければ、私たちもやがて、まったく自然に、自分自身を深く理解し、自分の欠点と成熟した関わり方をし、複雑な性格を巧みに乗り越えているように見える人に出会うだろう。彼らは、こちらが何か言おうと思う前に謝ってくれるだろう。ある特定の話題について、彼らは奇跡的に意見を受け入れるように見え、彼らの複雑な過去に対する洞察力は私たちを畏怖させる。私たちは、これが彼らの生まれつきの姿なのだと思うだろう。誰にも知られ