Name: 人はなぜ不健康な関係に陥るのか (Why People get into Unhealthy Relationships)
Uploaded: 2025-08-01T18:27:41.000Z
Duration: 3 min 24 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

程度の副詞

One of the saddest symptoms of not having been treated well in childhood is a remarkable tolerance – indeed an appetite – for not being treated entirely nicely by partners in adulthood. As graduates of rocky pasts, we are at high risk of ending up recklessly passive around partners who don't appear to have too much interest in our true needs or aspirations. Where others would read a sharp risk in such neglect, we simply sense normality. Where others would be plotting an escape, we settle in for the long term.

子供時代に良い扱いを受けなかったことの最も悲しい症状のひとつは、大人になってからパートナーから全く良く扱われないことに対して、驚くほど寛容になることである。険悪な過去を持つ私たちは、自分の真のニーズや願望にあまり関心がないように見えるパートナーに対して、無謀にも受け身になってしまう危険性が高い。他の人ならそのような無視に鋭利なリスクを読み取るところだが、私たちは単に正常さを感じるだけだ。他の人なら逃避を企てるところだが、私たちは長期的に落ち着く。

法助動詞 B1

Where others would despair of intransigence or meanness, we see every chance of being able to change a partner – so long as we keep quiet and hope. It can take an awfully long time until we are in any position to realise that all told, the situation does appear a little strange and somewhat irrevocable. That it may not be entirely to our advantage to be told again and again that we are mad for wanting greater gentleness, or demanding for seeking a deeper connection, or crazy for wondering why a partner spends so much time on their phone or out drunk with friends. We could be compared to a giant fish, a tuna perhaps, whose had its fins cut off and lost any powers of navigation, so that it bobs helplessly on the current, hoping against hope that it will be taken somewhere nice, but unable to exert any influence on its course. The famous expression runs, when people show you who they are, believe them. But it's hard to be very clear-eyed about who is good and bad when you happen to grow up with a heavy disincentive to perceive certain awkward truths about your own parents, because you were five years old, trapped in a house with them, and love wasn't readily available from anyone else. Our entire perceptual mechanism may have been twisted as a result. Like an animal that can't perceive certain frequencies of light, our emotional eyes may have grown up unable to see difficult traits for what they are. Coldness now just looks like honourable absorption in more important tasks. Sarcasm is read as wit. Being belittled feels like care. We're always more likely to think of ourselves as bad for failing to elicit kindness from a fundamentally lovely person whom we'll continue to adore and admire, despite one or two signs of trouble, as opposed to conceiving that we might have fallen in with a jerk. We may be deep into our lives before we decide we might have had enough of suffering, and start to be curious about what kindness and presence might feel like. We may ever so slightly determine that though our partner may be using every ounce of their considerable logic and charm to secure the status quo, they might in the end just be taking us for a long ride. We don't have to be here. We are, astonishingly, not five anymore. If we're not happy, we can run.

他の人が強情さや意地悪さに絶望するところ、私たちは黙って希望を持ち続ける限り、相手を変えられる可能性があると考える。この状況が少し奇妙で、取り返しのつかないものであることに気づくまでには、非常に長い時間がかかる。もっと優しさを求めるのは頭がおかしい、もっと深いつながりを求めるのは要求が高い、なぜパートナーが携帯電話にばかり時間を費やしたり、友人と酔っ払って外出したりするのか不思議に思うのは頭がおかしい、と何度も何度も言われるのは、まったく得策ではないかもしれない。私たちは巨大な魚に例えられるかもしれない。

We are free. This is what being an adult should always have been about.

私たちは自由だ。これが大人であることの本来の姿なのだ。