Name: 人間関係における人の機嫌取り (People Pleasers in Relationships)
Uploaded: 2025-07-19T20:22:19.000Z
Duration: 4 min 5 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

転換語

It can take a while to realise what's happened. For a long time, it simply seems that one's miraculously fallen in love with a partner entirely well attuned to all of our tastes and proclivities. We love that particular show? Amazingly, so do they. This song is by our favourite band? They've adored it for years. Pasta with mushrooms? It's exactly what they're craving. This can feel profoundly thrilling. For all the lip service we tend to pay to appreciating differences, it is secretly similarities we long for. But a more complicated and human truth is fated eventually to emerge. The lover told us they were delighted with an item of clothing we bought for them. Then one day we find they've gone out and swapped it for something else. Or they told us they hated a particular person we were suspicious of and it turns out they had lunch with them yesterday. They assured us they had no ambitions in a particular area, but their internet search history suggests otherwise.

何が起こったのかを理解するのに時間がかかることがある。長い間、人は自分の好みや性癖のすべてに完全に同調してくれるパートナーと奇跡的に恋に落ちたように思えるだけなのだ。あの番組が好きなの？驚くことに、彼らもそうなのだ。私たちの好きなバンドの曲？何年も愛聴している。キノコのパスタ？まさに彼らが切望しているものだ。これはとてもスリリングなことだ。違いを認め合うというリップサービスのために、私たちは密かに似たもの同士に憧れる。しかし、より複雑で人間的な真実は、いずれ明らかになる運命にある。その恋人は、私たちが買っ

程度の副詞

We might, in irritation, be tempted to label our lover a liar or deceitful. But something far more poignant is at play. What we have on our hands is that most benighted of psychological types – the people-pleaser, a harried soul morbidly fearful of expressing their true opinions lest these clash with those of others and prone to initiating a variety of secret agendas in the hope of continuing to be liked. People-pleasers are hard enough at the office or in ordinary friendships. But they're especially tricky in love, for their behaviour so carefully tickles the area of our most profound hope – that someone, at last, agrees with us. It isn't that the people-pleaser is deep down entirely at odds with us. That would be too neat and, in a sense, simple enough to deal with. It's just we can't easily tell when natural alignment ends and manic subservient agreement begins. What should we make of this musical enthusiasm? Do they really think exactly as we do about money? The questions get ever larger and more consequential.

私たちは苛立ちのあまり、恋人に嘘つきや欺瞞のレッテルを貼りたくなるかもしれない。しかし、もっと重大なことが起こっているのだ。私たちが手にしているのは、心理学的に最も愚かなタイプである「人を喜ばせる人」である。このタイプは、自分の本当の意見が他の人の意見と衝突することを病的に恐れ、好かれ続けることを望んでさまざまな秘密の計画を始める傾向がある。人を喜ばせるのが好きな人は、職場や普通の友人関係でも十分に難しい。なぜなら、彼らの振る舞いは、私たちの最も深い望みである「やっと誰かが自分の意見に同意してくれる」とい

様態の副詞

Is their sexuality really what they say? Do they actually want to get married?

彼らのセクシュアリティは本当に噂通りなのか？彼らは本当に結婚したいのだろうか？

The tragedy is that the people-pleaser is deep down just horribly afraid. Something in their past has proved to them that they can never be forgiven for speaking their minds.

悲劇なのは、人を喜ばせる人は心の底では恐ろしく恐れているということだ。過去の何かが、自分の意見を言っても決して許されないことを証明しているのだ。

Their childhoods have been a lesson in the importance of shape-shifting. Surrounding cruelty means that they had to grow into geniuses at detecting what other people wanted and at serving it up to them with near-total fidelity.

彼らの幼少期は、変身することの重要性を教えてくれた。残酷な環境に囲まれたことで、彼らは他人が何を求めているかを察知し、それをほぼ忠実に提供する天才に成長しなければならなかった。

We know what we need to do, in theory, to give our companion a repeated taste of the acceptability of their true flavour in music, pasta, friendship or existence. The problem is that we tend to get so upset when we stumble on examples of incongruent behaviour that we do precisely the opposite. We lose our tempers at their subterfuges and thereby enforce their very worst fears, that honesty never pays, that they must just lie better next time. Humour may have to be the answer. As early as we can, we need to give them a toy chameleon as a gift and send the animals as emojis with a question mark whenever they outline their wishes for the weekend or show deep enthusiasm for our career plans. We have to show that a clash in views need not be a catastrophe, that when there is genuine love, of the kind there never was at their origins, differences can be survivable, that in a functioning relationship, an argument is always better than a lie.

音楽、パスタ、友情、存在のどれをとっても、その人の本当の味を繰り返し味わってもらうために、理論的には何をすべきかを私たちは知っている。問題は、不釣り合いな行動に出くわしたとき、私たちは動揺しがちで、正反対のことをしてしまうことだ。正直に言っても報われない、次はもっと上手に嘘をつかなければならない、と。ユーモアがその答えかもしれない。できるだけ早く、彼らにおもちゃのカメレオンをプレゼントし、彼らが週末の希望をまとめたり、私たちのキャリアプランに深い熱意を示したりするたびに、クエスチョンマーク付きの絵文字で動

字幕リスト動画再生

人間関係における人の機嫌取り (People Pleasers in Relationships)

appreciate

profound

genuine

prone