Name: 傷ついた人々がさらなる罰を求める方法 (How Wounded People Seek Out further Punishment)
Uploaded: 2025-06-17T14:52:12.000Z
Duration: 5 min 32 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

分詞構句

There's a bitter paradox that awaits many of us who have suffered from harsh, unloving childhoods. We have an above-average chance of ending up in – and blindly putting up with – harsh, unloving adult relationships. Our original, unfulfilling bonds to our caregivers – far from warning us away from future turmoil – appears to compel us to recreate its features in grown-up life. The true toll of bad childhoods isn't circumscribed to their actual duration.

過酷で愛のない子供時代を過ごした私たちの多くには、苦いパラドックスが待ち受けている。私たちは平均以上の確率で、過酷で愛情のない大人の人間関係の中で、盲目的に我慢することになる。養育者との満たされない結びつきは、将来の混乱から私たちを遠ざけるどころか、大人になった私たちにその特徴を再現させるように思われる。悪い子供時代の真の犠牲は、その実際の期間に限定されるものではない。

様態の副詞

It's exacted via a lifelong search for their sad echoes. We suffer from an instinctive pull towards dimly familiar forms of mistreatment and struggle. We unconsciously gravitate towards situations that mirror our early wounds. Like everyone else, we want love to take us home.

その悲痛な響きを生涯探し求めることで、それは正確なものとなる。私たちは本能的に、おぼろげながら馴染みのある虐待や闘争に引き寄せられる。私たちは無意識のうちに、初期の傷を映し出すような状況に引き寄せられる。誰もがそうであるように、私たちは愛に連れられて家に帰りたいのだ。

転換語

It's just that for us, home was a place of grief and persecution. It's easy enough to see why children put up with poor treatment. They're born radically powerless. They can't run away. They are utterly at the mercy of others. They can't even think especially straight. What they must do, above all else, is adapt. Which in practice means learning to put up with poor treatment. They have to develop an advanced skill at not noticing quite how awful things are, an expertise at being unfazed by cruelty and neglect. Children in deprived circumstances tend to be geniuses at looking away, disassociating and making light of things. Of course, it might not be perfect that their father screams at them constantly, but there are some interesting shows on television and there's a really fascinating bit of the garden to explore in the morning. You can climb up the big tree and imagine it's a little house. And of course, ideally their mother wouldn't be so mocking and disloyal. But that's just the way things are, neither more or less sad than the fact it's often raining and there's a lot of homework to do. In any case, the bad treatment almost certainly has to do with something that they, the child, have done wrong. Badly treated children tend to take a compulsively generous view of those who injure them. Obviously, they aren't nasty on purpose. That would make no sense. Clearly, their ostensible brutality has sound explanations. It must be because they, the child, is in the wrong. That's why they're being neglected. That's why they've been declared fools. That's why they're being bullied. It's a great deal easier to believe that the parent is tough, yet fundamentally right, rather than gratuitously callous and unjustifiably hostile. In other words, what a bad childhood trains us to do, above all else, is to indulge meanness. The muscle that normally functions to repel attacks has had to be starved and has atrophied. In order to survive, we had to lose the ability to work out what was good and bad for us, lest we discover that we spent 18 years in the company of fiends. What this means for our futures is that we will be extremely poor at discerning when the partners we let into our lives cross the border into selfishness and malevolence. We'll continue under a narcoleptic command not to notice that we're being robbed and deceived. We'll be as blind to the blows now as we were then. For a long time, it simply won't occur to us to wonder why we've ended up paying for everything for the partner, or why they're unreliable in their promises, or constantly prioritise their friends over us, or are angrily defensive whenever we raise a complaint. We will simply, as we had to early on, fall into line and invent elaborate explanations for their behaviour. They're good, but they're tired. They're durable, but under pressure at work. They're fierce, but compensating for their childhood traumas, for which we have a lot of sympathy. Anything other than the more straightforward conclusion, we've fallen in with unconcerned egoists. We shouldn't compound our disloyalty towards ourselves by feeling, on top of everything else, ashamed for our tolerance. It isn't weakness, it's a survival strategy from childhood that served a very sensible purpose then but is liable to be ruining our lives now. To wake ourselves up, we need to consider our choices as if someone else had made them. We might wonder what we would advise a friend to do if they were in our situation. And through such a lens, we might start to perceive that the treatment we're facing isn't, as we've long thought, a sign of our partner's depth or complexity, but in the end, something much more humble, evidence that we need to get away. But this will be only a momentary liberation until we can understand the more fundamental issue, that the muscle most people use to eject poison has withered because of a distinctive history. We need to reverse the direction of our psychological fate. Our early suffering should not condemn us to yet more pain. It is what gives us an especially powerful claim on original sources of kindness, tenderness and calm.

ただ、私たちにとって家は悲しみと迫害の場所だった。なぜ子供たちが劣悪な扱いを受けても我慢するのか、それを理解するのは簡単だ。彼らは生まれながらにして根本的に無力なのだ。逃げることもできない。他人のなすがままなのだ。特にまともに考えることもできない。彼らがなすべきことは、何よりも適応することだ。それは実際には、劣悪な扱いを我慢することを学ぶということだ。どんなにひどい状況であってもそれに気づかない高度な技術、残酷な仕打ちやネグレクトにも動じない専門技術を身につけなければならない。恵まれない環境にいる子どもた