[RALPH]: Wake up!

[VANELLOPE]: Ralph! What is wrong with you?

[RALPH]: Start churning butter and put on your church shoes, little sister, 'cause we're about to blast off!

[VANELLOPE]: Ralph, what is it you're trying to say?

[RALPH]: We're going in the internet.

[VANELLOPE]: What?!

(VANELLOPE YELLS)

(VANELLOPE YELLS)

(RALPH YELLS)

(RALPH GRUNTS)

[VANELLOPE]: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the internet!

(RALPH SCREAMS)

[RALPH]: Woah! Coool.

[RAPLH]: Wow, look at all this stuff.

[VANELLOPE]: This is the most beautiful miracle I've ever seen.

[MALE]: Welcome to the search bar. What can I help you find today?

[RALPH]: Um..

[MALE]: Umbrella? Umbrage? Umami?

[RALPH]: No-

[MALE]: Noah's Ark? No doubt? No, it's from-

(RALPH GROWLS)

[MALE]: Ergonomics? Urban Outfitters. Auricle?

[VANELLOPE]: I'm pretty sure he's just trying to guess what you're gonna say

[MALE]: My auto-fill is a touch aggressive today...

[VANELLOPE]: Lemme try; take me to a website that's super intense and really nuts!

[MALE]: Oh. I only found one result.

[VANELLOPE]: Aww, come on.

[VANELLOPE]: Princesses and cartoon characters. Barf!

[EEYORE]: Hey...

[VANELLOPE]: Woah!

[VANELLOPE]: Cool!

[STORMTROOPERS]: You're coming with us, kid.

(PRINCESSES GASP)

[VANELLOPE]: Hi.

[VANELLOPE]: Woah, woah! Ladies! I'm a princess too!

[POCAHONTAS]: What kind of a princess are you?

[VANELLOPE]: Uh...

[RAPUNZEL]: Do you have magic hair?

[VANELLOPE]: No...

[ELSA]: Magic hands?

[VANELLOPE]: No...

[CINDERELLA]: Do animals talk to you?

[VANELLOPE]: No.

[SNOW WHITE]: Were you poisoned?

[VANELLOPE]: No.

[TIANA+AURORA]: Cursed?

[VANELLOPE]: No!

[RAPUNZEL+BELLE]: Kidnapped or enslaved?

[VANELLOPE]: No! Are you guys okay? Should I call the police?

[RAPUNZEL]: Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big, strong man showed up?

[VANELLOPE]: Yes!

[VANELLOPE]: What is up with that!?

[ALL PRINCESSES]: She is a Princess!

(SNOW WHITE SINGS)

[MALE VOICEOVER]: Ralph Breaks the Internet

[RALPH]: Shouldn't it be 'Ralph Wrecks the Internet'?

[VANELLOPE]: Yeah, since he is Wreck-it-Ralph.

[FEMALE]: Uh, yeah, but 'break the internet', It's like a thing.

[RALPH]: Right... It's just 'Wreck the Internet' kind of sounds better, doesn't it?

[FEMALE]: You're not wrong.

[MALE]: All right, let's get you plugged in.

[RALPH]: Whiffy! Or... is it wifey?

[VANELLOPE]: Why don't we just go in...?

[MALE]: And we are online...

[RALPH]: Woah... Cool!

[VANELLOPE]: Ralph, isn't this great?!

[VANELLOPE]: We are going to the internet!

[RALPH]: Super excited!

[RALPH]: Just one minor thing, what is the internet?

[RALPH]: Holy cow! Look at all this stuff!

[FEMALE]: Congratulations, you're a winner!

[RALPH]: Really?

[MALE]: These 10 child stars went to prison, number 6 will amaze you!

[RALPH]: That sounds interesting.

[VANELLOPE]: Ralph, come on!

[FEMALE]: Redirecting to ebay...

[MALE]: Ladies and gentlemen, the next item up, a black, velvet painting of a sorrowful kitten

[RALPH]: It's like it's looking into my soul...

[VANELLOPE]: Yeah, that one's really gonna haunt me for a while...

[RALPH]: Woah! Games!

[CHILD]: Pancake

[CHILD]: Milkshake

[RALPH]: Out of my way kid!

[RALPH]: Pancake, milkshake, milkshake...

[RALPH]: Huh. I'm starting to understand why people like this game, really zen!

[RALPH]: Milkshake!

[VANELLOPE]: Hey! Look what I found!

[VANELLOPE]: More pancakes!

[RALPH]: Let's speed it up!

Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake-

Eat little buddy, eat eat eat!

[VANELLOPE]: Uh... Ralph, you might wanna try feeding the kitty for a little while...

[RALPH]: No! The kitty gets the milkshake!

[RALPH]: The bunny gets the pancake!

(POP)

(GIRL SCREAMS)