We're actually alright if you put other stuff on us I wouldn't consider my parents health nuts more like health kernels They would never buy unhealthy snacks But they wouldn't force me and my siblings to go outside and play because it was always burning hot and we just licked the melted Candy off the sidewalk anyways, they would never buy sugary cereal the most sugary cereal My parents got was honey nut Cheerios But my mom would mix the honey nut Cheerios with regular ones to make it more healthy or something So I would start every day spending 15 minutes picking out the regular Cheerios from the cereal bowl That's right.

両親のことをヘルシーナッツというより、ヘルシーカーネルだと思ってる。不健康なスナック菓子は絶対に買ってくれなかったけど、僕や兄弟に外で遊ぶことを強要しなかった、甘いシリアルは買ってもらえなかった。一番甘いシリアルはハニーナッツ・チェリオスだったんだけど、母はハニーナッツ・チェリオスと普通のシリアルを混ぜて、よりヘルシーにするとかなんとか。

My parents didn't buy us cable cocoa puffs or candy my life sucked We were allowed to eat sugary cereal for one day out of the year and that was on Christmas morning It's a fun tradition and we still do it to this day as a kid I would always get jealous when my friends would pull out their lunchables and tell me how much their family ate out and all the Sugary cereals they got to eat Meanwhile, I had a PB&J sandwich on wheat bread with the crust still on but it's okay because I like the crust but now Looking back.

両親は私たちにケーブルココアパフやキャンディーを買ってくれなかった。 私たちは1年のうち1日だけ、クリスマスの朝に甘いシリアルを食べることを許された、私は小麦パンのPB&Jサンドイッチを食べました。皮がついたままでしたが、皮が好きなので大丈夫でした。

I'm just so grateful that my mom cared enough about my health to instill these healthy eating habits into me at a young Age, I mean, I don't follow them anymore because I live on my own and I don't know how to cook and bagel bites Tastes so darn good, but I'm still thankful.

母が私の健康を気遣って、若い頃から健康的な食習慣を植え付けてくれたことに感謝している。一人暮らしで料理の仕方もわからないし、ベーグルはすごく美味しいから、もう守っていないけど、それでも感謝している。

My mom taught me what I should be doing Now if there's any parents watching this going, hmm, I like the way this James's mom character thinks good I would recommend to all parents that you should be teaching your kids healthy eating habits as soon as possible I definitely didn't appreciate it at the time.

もしこれを観ている親御さんがいたら、うーん、このジェームズのお母さんの考え方が好きだな。

But now that I'm older and wiser I'm thankful that I like the taste of wheat bread My parents had a saying the wider the bread the sooner you're dead They would always get wheat bread even for hot dog and hamburger buns They got wheat some of you might have had to use sandwich bread as hot dog buns.

でも、年をとって賢くなった今、小麦のパンの味が好きなことに感謝している。私の両親には、パンの幅が広いほど早く死ぬという言い伝えがあった。ホットドッグやハンバーガーのバンズにも、いつも小麦のパンを買っていた。

You're poor I get it.

あなたは貧しい。

But at least you didn't have to use wheat bread.

でも、少なくとも小麦パンを使う必要はなかった。

However, now that I live on my own I still get the wheat bread because I don't want to die young I still have YouTube videos to make some things never change I guess except I do get the white hot dog buns The wheat ones are still gross when I was a very little kid My dad's work was throwing a barbecue get-together thing and I got to eat as many hot dogs on white bread as I could handle But the best part of it all was I got to wash it down with soda Listen, I was very sugar deprived back home.

しかし、一人暮らしを始めた今でも、若死にしたくないから小麦のパンを買っている。YouTubeのビデオもあるし、変わらないこともある。白いホットドッグのパンを買っていることを除けば、小麦のパンは気持ち悪い。

I had to catch up on all the sugar.

私はすべての糖分に追いつかなければならなかった。

I was missing out on I don't remember what the soda was exactly but let's just say for the sake of this story It was an original bottle of coke from the 1800s It might as well have had cocaine because I was addicted to all the white powdery stuff They added in that drink pretty soon My tummy started to get the rumblies and I had no idea what was causing it So I told my dad dad my tummy hurts and he said hmm It's probably because you're dehydrated here have some soda and I still respected my dad at that age and thought he knew what he was Talking about so I drank more soda and then I threw up and my dad said we should leave I mentioned this next story in my first book available in bookstores near you Be on the lookout for book number two coming out at the end of March But one time my mom bought a giant three-pound bag of Skittles I forgot what she bought them for but they definitely weren't for us She locked them away in a closet because she knew what us kids would do if we got our grubby little hands on the Skittles This wasn't the first time my mom had to hide candy from us But this time she forgot to lock the closet leaving the Skittles unprotected and me and my older brother ate the entire Thing and we would have gotten away with it, but then something came up Puke I threw up on the family room carpet My mom saw how rainbow the throw-up was and immediately put two and two together and knew that we had gotten into our Skittles The funny part of this story is that my older brother got punished But I didn't because according to my mom I had already suffered enough And that's why that story is in the chapter titled perks of being the younger brother Anyways, don't eat so much candy that you throw up.

そのソーダが何だったかはよく覚えていないけれど、この話のために言っておくと、1800年代に作られたオリジナルのコーラのボトルで、コカインが入っていたかもしれない。うーん、脱水症状だろう。ソーダを飲みなさい」と言われた。私はまだその年頃の父を尊敬していたし、父は自分の言っていることをわかっていると思っていたので、ソーダをもっと飲んだ。何のために買ったのか忘れてしまったけれど、私たちのためではなかったのは確かだ。母がお菓子を私たちから隠さなければならなかったのは、これが初めてではなかったけれど、このとき母はク

Okay, I'm gonna be talking about M&Ms for a while So to make it go faster instead of saying M&Ms I'm just gonna say mmm and one of my older videos I said that my favorite candy bar was mmm and every time I would tell people that they would always say That's not a candy bar Just I Just can't do this anymore But then something interesting happened a year after that video was posted mmm actually released a bar version of their candy So now I can absolutely say that mmm is my favorite candy bar and not get any weird looks someone at the mmm marketing team sent me a box of mmm candy bars, and I think they wanted me to promote it, but Because I said that mmms are my favorite candy bar whenever I go to a convention sometimes you guys bring me mmm candy Which is very thoughtful, but you know I like other things too like Oreos and Twix and Money, you know I'm just saying you don't have to bring me mmm all the time when I was visiting London I went to the mmm store with my friends Adam and Mads, and if you don't know about the mmm London store It's four stories tall 35,000 square feet and according to Wikipedia the largest sweet store in the world So it was kind of big once I stepped inside my first thought was Okay, this is too much.

オーケー、しばらくM&Mの話をするつもりだから、M&Mと言う代わりに、早く終わらせるためにmmmと言おうと思う。でも、そのビデオが投稿された1年後に面白いことが起こった、彼らは私に宣伝させたかったのだと思う、でも、僕が「mmmは僕の大好きなキャンディ・バーなんだ」って言ったから、大会に行くとみんなmmmのキャンディを持ってきてくれるんだ、ウィキペディアによると、世界最大のスイーツストアだそうだ。

It was like the candy forest scene in Willy Wonka except It was all chocolate and expensive in one part of the store You could make your own custom mmms with a picture and two phrases so for the picture I googled my cartoon self held up my phone to the camera and it bloody worked bait and for the phrases naturally we wanted to Write something that was meaningful, so we wrote mad stinks and Adam smells But the mmm employee didn't allow us to write that because it was too negative and went against the mmm brand So knowing we were not allowed to roast each other the next phrases We decided to print was get Mads and something else YT It wasn't creative, but without being able to make fun of each other We didn't have a lot to work with but those phrases weren't allowed either because they were the names of some Youtubers so they got flagged by the system, and they told us you'll need permission from the youtuber even though you're both right here listen boys I'm just a mmm employee.

ウィリー・ウォンカのお菓子の森のシーンのようだった、だから私たちは、マッドな悪臭とアダムな匂いと書いた。しかし、それはあまりにもネガティブで、mmmのブランドに反するという理由で、mmmの従業員は私たちがそれを書くことを許さなかった、でも、お互いを揶揄することができなければ、私たちができることは少なかった。でも、そのフレーズもYoutuberの名前だったので、システムからフラグを立てられてしまった。

I don't want to get sued on one hand I'm glad that mmm has a system in place to prevent people from stealing But on the other hand, it's just mmm.

訴えられたくない一方で、盗用を防ぐシステムがあるのは嬉しい。

What do you think we're gonna do with them?

彼らをどうすると思う？

So after two failed attempts at getting the phrase we wanted we settled on getting Adam and Mads at least I still got my cannonball guy printed even though technically this image is Copyrighted so mmm.

それで、欲しいフレーズを手に入れるのに2回失敗した後、アダムとマッズを手に入れることにした。

You'll be hearing from my lawyers soon one of the disadvantages of being a youtuber is the lack of benefits We don't even have dental and with all the junk food.

ユーチューバーであることのデメリットのひとつは、福利厚生がないことです。歯科治療も受けられませんし、ジャンクフードも食べられません。

I'm eating and the flossing I'm not doing I should probably see one can I confess something?

食事もフロスもやってないんだ......何か告白してもいいかな？

I didn't know dentists were optional I thought they summoned you to their offices like jury duty.

歯医者が任意だとは知らなかった。陪審員の義務のようにオフィスに呼び出されると思っていた。

That's what it felt like when I was a kid I've never gotten a cavity though at least not one that I know of so at least I'm doing something right now comes the part Of the video where I give you advice on eating healthy, but I'm still working on that myself And when I don't know what to eat I can't help but biting down on a delicious carrot carrots are the most popular vegetable in the world having been nominated as the best Orange thing ever use code odd one next time you purchase a carrot to get 5,000 free carrot points and a bunch of weird looks at the grocery store Give your body the fuel it needs you wouldn't pour soda in a car engine and expect it to run of course That's not really the best metaphor to use because you also wouldn't pour water into a car and expect it to run I guess everyone drink gasoline because cars and people are the same, but the point is you've only got one body So you should take care of it

私は子供の頃、そう感じていた。少なくとも私が知っている限り虫歯になったことはない、車のエンジンに炭酸飲料を注いで、それが動くとは思わないだろう。 車に水を注いで、それが動くとは思わないだろうから、その比喩はあまり適切ではない。車も人間も同じだから、みんなガソリンを飲むのだろうけど、要は、体は一つしかないのだから、それを大切にするべきだということだ。