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  • - Okay people, what have you got for me?

  • - So I have been working on this story

  • about how Harry Reid is a murdering

  • satanist fascist rapist atheist.

  • Is that too many things?

  • - I don't think that's enough things.

  • Chris, what have you got?

  • - Donald Trump says, "What?"

  • - It's a good start, but what does he say?

  • - I don't know.

  • - Alright, well figure it out by two

  • and it had better not be true this time.

  • - Oh, come on!

  • Everything the guy says sounds fake.

  • - That's not my problem.

  • Terry.

  • - I'm working on a story on conflicts

  • of interest in government.

  • - Why?

  • No, Terry I looked at your earlier work on this piece.

  • I don't think there's not a story there.

  • - How can you say that?

  • There's barely anything here.

  • It's almost all fake.

  • - No, this is thoughtful journalism

  • and I'm looking for sub-tabloid schlock.

  • - I just wrote five stories.

  • - This is what I'm looking for.

  • Can you do that for me for once?

  • Thank you.

  • - Peter, take a look at this.

  • - Where did you get this?

  • - I made it up.

  • - Holy shit.

  • How deep does this thing go?

  • - As deep as you want.

  • As deep as you want.

  • - My god.

  • Okay, change of plans people.

  • I want everyone working this pope corruption piece.

  • - What about my conflict of interest story?

  • - Oh what about it, Terry?

  • What about it?

  • This isn't the Times, for Christ's sake.

  • This is patriotnews.info.

  • We don't have a reputation to uphold.

  • Look at those awards.

  • Do you see that?

  • A lot of sweat and blood went into

  • photoshopping those awards.

  • - This story could define my career!

  • - Oh, your career.

  • This is bigger than you, kid!

  • Why'd you get into fake news in the first place?

  • - Honestly, I don't know.

  • It's crazy that it exists.

  • - Well, I'll tell you why I do it.

  • I do this because I believe the truth is powerful and it

  • takes constant vigilance to drown out that truth with noise.

  • I do this because the powerless deserve a voice

  • and maybe that voice should be a crazy

  • wackadoo coked-up conspiracy theorist

  • meth head with a bad sense of humor.

  • I do this because I believe that politicians

  • should be held accountable for the things

  • we say they did, whether or not

  • they actually did those things.

  • You're a fake news man.

  • Start acting like one.

  • - I don't have sources.

  • - What did you say?

  • - Sources, hundreds of them, all

  • of them totally non-existent.

  • I don't have quotes from named figures.

  • I don't have peer reviewed studies.

  • I even don't have video evidence and

  • none of it points to a worldwide conspiracy

  • of the highest institutions of power including you Pete.

  • - Piss off a lot of people running a story like that

  • which would probably get us a lot

  • of clicks so who gives a shit.

  • (laughter)

  • - I know, I know, so many clicks.

  • - Clicks, clicks, clicks, clicks!

  • (ominous music)

  • - Hi. It's Mike Trapp from College Humor.

  • Click here to subscribe.

  • Click here for more fun things

  • and help to keep me from sinking.

  • Please, please help.

  • Please help.

- Okay people, what have you got for me?

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B1 中級

フェイクニュース調査ジャーナリスト (Fake News Investigative Journalists)

  • 352 18
    洪紹華 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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