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  • - A super rich, powerful CEO with a perfect physique

  • falls for clumsy, virginal, average girl

  • with no apparent personality.

  • We've all heard the "50 Shades of Grey" story before.

  • This is "Twighlight." With sex.

  • I mean, it actually is a "Twilight" fan fiction.

  • So I did read this book.

  • I actually read two of them.

  • Don't judge me.

  • And I must say, I felt kind of torn.

  • Half the time my inner goddess was doing the salsa.

  • The other half of time she was

  • banging her head against the wall.

  • So, can I just say that I was so excited

  • that there is a BDSM erotica in the mainstream.

  • People are reading about sex and jerking off to this book.

  • And I think that's awesome.

  • I think more people should read erotica.

  • That said, as a BDSM erotica,

  • I don't think this baby does a very good job

  • at portraying BDSM.

  • It relies on tired stereotypes about the BDSM community.

  • And the nature of their dom-sub relationship

  • isn't healthy.

  • They don't do it right.

  • And when we're talking about consensual violence,

  • not doing it right is kind of a big deal.

  • So Christian's story goes like this.

  • He is a tortured soul, born of a crack whore.

  • And he's taken advantage of at 15 years old

  • by a pedophile lover.

  • And here we go.

  • The tired trope of people who are

  • into BDSM being damaged and abused.

  • So then comes along the sweet, virginal Anastasia Steele.

  • And the entire series is basically

  • her trying to cure him of his one flaw.

  • The flaw being the BDSM.

  • The best part is that, supposedly, this transformation

  • happens through a storm of bad communication,

  • passive-aggression, stalking, helicopter rides.

  • And at the heart of the storyline is this idea

  • that if you're patient enough and you're kind enough

  • and you say and do the rights things,

  • that you can fix your fucked-up lover.

  • And in the scariest scenarios, that you can fix your abuser.

  • Another issue I took in terms of the BDSM stuff,

  • was the fact that consent was not good. Yeah.

  • So basically, how it's supposed to be,

  • to draw the line between pleasure and violation,

  • you make sure that both parties are informed

  • about what they're going to do,

  • they're excited about it, and they're both saying,

  • "Yeah, I want to do it."

  • Not an "OK. I guess" or "Well, if it makes you happy."

  • It's a "Yeah! I want it!"

  • And how does Christian get this?

  • He hands her a friggn' contract and says,

  • "Sign this please."

  • Like, no asshole, that's not how it works.

  • Especially when she has no idea

  • what half the things on that list are.

  • And, you know, when she doesn't sign it!

  • Contracts, in general, they're not a good way to do consent.

  • You need to talk about this stuff.

  • You need to explore boundaries and be open

  • and communicative with each other.

  • And it's true that sometimes informed

  • and enthusiastic consent is given.

  • Other times, it's not.

  • There were scenes that I read

  • that left me feeling really weird.

  • Like I just read an assault scene.

  • And that's because without enthusiastic

  • and informed consent, it is assault.

  • And this is why it makes me a little bit nervous

  • that people are getting into BDSM

  • using "50 Shades" as their guide.

  • As a dominant, Christian has an obligation

  • to both understand and follow Anastasia's boundaries.

  • Christian seems more in the market of pushing boundaries.

  • In fact, on multiple occasions he pushes her

  • and wants to rush her into doing bigger

  • things that she's obviously not ready for.

  • I mean, the dude is a child.

  • Children should not be dominants, OK?

  • As a dominant, he also has an obligation to provide

  • something called aftercare.

  • A BDSM scene can be physically and emotionally exhausting.

  • So it's essential that both people follow up

  • immediately afterward, especially if you're new partners.

  • Our darling Christian's aftercare?

  • Just taking off.

  • Yelling at her for yawning.

  • Threatening to spank her again

  • for having a strong, negative reaction to spanking.

  • Yeah.

  • And just like the Edward character,

  • he also has abusive tendencies.

  • Yeah, being a dom may mean deciding what your sub wears

  • or what they eat.

  • But it does not mean stalking them

  • or isolating them from everybody.

  • Being a dom doesn't mean

  • that you are exempt from human decency.

  • Fancy that.

  • My hope is that people who have taken an interest

  • in BDSM from reading these books,

  • will use it as an entry point and not as a guide.

  • I'm gonna put some links in the description that offer

  • some healthier information

  • on beginning a safe and consensual BDSM relationship.

  • I am also gonna put some other books

  • that you might like to masterbate to

  • in the description, so.

  • Have a great week everyone.

  • I'll see you next week. (kiss)

- A super rich, powerful CEO with a perfect physique

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50シェイズオブWTF (50 Shades of WTF)

  • 374 17
    Jack に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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