Eww.

It's like, here (bleep)!

(laughing)

- Oh... please don't do that.

(funk music)

- Huge!

- Yah!

- Huge fan of Subway.

- It's like a good cheap go to,

that's not super, super unhealthy.

- Love me the five dollar footlong.

- I love bread!

I'm like Oprah!

- I like that jalapeno cheddar bread.

- There's something about that special bread smell

when you walk into a Subway,

and you smell that fresh bread.

- Subway gives you so many options.

- Really good.

- Mm hmm.

It tastes like pizza.

- It tastes just like pizza.

- I like it.

- It's not bad.

- I do love those peppers though.

It's a little dry, the chicken.

- This bread is really good though.

It's almost better than a piece of pizza.

- Is it tired urban cheese?

- I don't know.

- Someone had a bunch of random (bleep) in their fridge

and tried to make a sandwich.

And it's not good.

It just looks like a soggy (bleep) salad

and soggy (bleep) bread.

- Oh my god! I hate spicy food so much!

- Get her some milk!

- It's spicy, and it's sweet, and it's soggy.

It's a triple threat of badness.

- Maybe just get the sauce and the vegetables,

and leave the bread out.

- Make a salad?

- Yeah!

- Make it toastier!

- Why would you name a sandwich 'The Heart Attack'?

- I have high cholesterol!

- (yells)

It's tuna and bacon!

- Oh my god. This is really (bleep) good.

- It's better than the others.

I don't even know if that's lettuce...

- Girl, don't look at it.

- Because you know what they say?

Never judge a book by its cover.

- This (bleep) looks bomb.

- It looks really good.

- I'm all about this.

- Okay!

- This is incredible.

- It's so good!

I can't stop eating it.

- This is definitely not bad.

- (Bleep) It's actually really good.

- It looks really good.

- This is not 'Subway, Eat Fresh' though.

This is Subway, Eat --

- Fat!

(laughs)

- I'm just not smart enough when I'm drunk

to make these amazing combinations of foods.

- I think I'm just going to stick to what I know,

when it comes to Subway.

I don't need to get all secretive.

- You know what's in it.

You don't need that soggy salad.

- The Supreme Pizza Sub was really good.

- That needs to be sold as a sub,

if they don't already have it.

- That's it. I'm done.