Not often a dude ruins your face,

skullstomps your sanity, grabs your baby mama

& personally sees thru 4 of your 5 shittiest moments.

Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

You've been warned before, Deadpool.

This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers.

You will both be coming with us.

Look Colossus, I don't have time for the goody

two-shoes bullshit right now. And you are?

Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

Negasonic Teenage---What the shit?!

That's the coolest name ever!

I'm all about long, sullen silences, followed by mean comments, followed by more silences.

So what's it gonna be?

Long, sullen silence? Or mean comment? Go on.

You got me in a box here.

We can't allow this, Deadpool. Please, come quietly.

You big, chrome cockgobbler!

That's not nice.

You really got to fuck this up for me?

Wade, you are better than this. Join us,

use your powers for good.

Heads up!

Be a superhero.

Listen! The day I decide to be a crime-fighting shits-wizzler,

who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners,

at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, old, bald, heaven's gate looking motherfucker,

on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request.

But until then, I'mma do what I came here to do.

Any last words?

What's my name?

Who fucking cares!

Wade!

Four or five moments.

I'm sorry?

Over a lifetime, there are only 4 or 5 moments that really matter.

Moments when you're offered a choice.

To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend...

... spare an enemy.

In these moments, everything else falls away.

The way the world sees us.

Okay. Let's pro/con this superhero thing.

pro: they pull down a gaggle of ass,

local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals,

both origin stories and larger, ensemble team movies.

Con: they're all lame-ass teacher's pets!

You know I can hear you.

Wasn't talking to you. I was talking to them.