Operator? God!

- Rick? - What?

Are you all right?

I've been shot in the butt. Can you believe it?

- Can I come in? - I'm naked. Can you handle it?

I handled it for a lot of years. I guess I can handle it now.

It's my lower back and my butt. I think the pellet passed through...

Vietnam?

Hell, no. I took the dove off with a sander.

I really am anxious to hear this story.

I need some bandages, antibiotic and some antiseptic.

Get shot often?

Only twice before.

Could you please help me? Could you look at my butt?

You leave me at the altar.

That was my state of mind at the time.

You went off with Jamie to seek your fortune...

...and you were coming back to marry me.

Am I remembering this correctly? If not, correct me.

You get lost in your plane. Reported missing, presumed dead.

I attend your memorial service, and cried the tears of a grieving widow.

I vow I'll never get over you. In fact, I never do.

I still carry your damn pictures in my wallet!

Until one day, I pull into a gas station...

...and you're alive with people chasing you and you ask me to look at your butt?

That's kind of neat. Rick's alive and he's shot in the butt.

Guess who's alive and shot in the butt? Rick! I'm looking at his butt now!

You lying...

...gutless...

...son of a...

...yellow snodbugger, toad, bellybutton...

I can't think of enough awful things to say about you, you bastard!

I guess that's a no on examining my butt.