TODAY INSTEAD OF ME CHOOSING WHAT TO TALK ABOUT,

I AM GONNA SPIN THIS WHEEL RIGHT HERE, AND--

[laughter]

IT'S FAIR.

SO WHAT HAPPENS IS, IF IT LANDS IN THE RED SECTION,

WE'RE GONNA LOOK AT A CAT VIDEO.

IF IT LANDS IN THIS TINY, TEENY, TEENY, LITTLE GREEN SECTION,

THAT'S "BROUSKO," WHICH IS--

IT'S A CLIP FROM A GREEK SOAP OPERA.

PROBABLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN,

'CAUSE THIS--THIS IS MOST LIKELY.

ALL RIGHT, SO I'M GONNA SPIN IT, AND LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

OH.

[laughter]

YUP, YUP. NO, NO.

OH!

UGH!

WHO SAW THAT COMING?

I'M AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE.

I WANTED CAT VIDEOS TOO. ALL RIGHT.

STUPID WHEEL.

ALL RIGHT, DO WE HAVE ANY GREEK SOAP OPERA FANS HERE?

I SHOULD ASK-- OKAY, SO--

[laughter]

"BROUSKO" IS A POPULAR ONE.

IT'S FILMED IN GREECE, AND I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT BEFORE.

ONE OF MY VIEWERS IS A FAN OF THE SHOW.

HER NAME IS MARIA. SHE LIVES IN FLORIDA.

AND SOMEHOW MARIA WATCHES THIS ON HER FANCY SATELLITE DISH,

AND MARIA NOTICED SOMETHING WHILE SHE WAS WATCHING,

AND SHE THOUGHT THAT I'D BE INTERESTED IN IT.

WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU

IS A REAL CLIP FROM THE SHOW IN GREECE,

AND THE SCENE IS WHERE A POWERFUL VINEYARD OWNER

IS THINKING ABOUT HIS LONG-LOST LOVER.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

[woman singing in Greek]

[cheers and applause]

WHAT?

WHAT? [laughter]

THAT IS TOTALLY REAL. IT'S NOT EDITED.

I--IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW, THAT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL PHOTO.

THAT'S MY SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL PHOTO,

AND IT'S THERE IN A GREEK SOAP OPERA, "BROUSKO."

AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

I DON'T KNOW GREEK.

I KNOW MY HAIRCUT IS A GREEK TRAGEDY RIGHT THERE.

SO WHY DOES THAT OLD MAN HAVE MY PICTURE, NUMBER ONE?

IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS OR FUNNY,

OR IS IT 'CAUSE I'M HIS LONG-LOST LOVER?

IS THAT-- [dramatic music]

AND OF ALL THE PICTURES OF ME, WHY THAT ONE?

WHY?

HERE'S THE--HERE'S WHAT'S HILARIOUS ABOUT THAT.

SO I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TWO YEARS

IN ATLANTA, TEXAS.

I MOVED FROM NEW ORLEANS TO ATLANTA, TEXAS,

JUST FOR TWO--MY TWO FINAL YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

AND THAT DAY, I WOKE UP, AND I SHOWERED,

AND I TRIED TO FIX MY HAIR,

AND THAT THING HAPPENED RIGHT THERE.

AND I TRIED TO FIX IT, AND I THOUGHT,

"OH, WHO CARES?

"I'M MOVING TOMORROW. I'M LEAVING.

"IT'S ATLANTA, TEXAS.

WHO'S EVER GONNA SEE THIS PICTURE?"

[laughter]

AND NOW IT'S IN A GREEK SOAP OPERA.

OH, MY GOD. LIFE, HUH?

AND SO IF THERE'S ANYONE OUT THERE

WHO WATCHES THIS SHOW--

PEOPLE FROM GREECE, JOHN STAMOS, WHOEVER--

IF YOU CAN EXPLAIN WHAT I'M DOING WITH THAT OLD MAN...

I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU,

BUT WE ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

[laughter]

THAT'S-- [cheers and applause]

I MEAN--MARIA, THANKS FOR SENDING THAT IN

AND FOR HAVING SUCH A KEEN EYE.

WHAT I'M DOING IS, I HAVE AUTOGRAPHED A PICTURE TO YOU,

AND I AM GONNA SEND YOU THIS TO THANK YOU FOR THAT, I THINK.