Name: Japan Pregnancy Q&A | Cravings, No Epidural, & Japanese/American Baby Names we Didn’t Use
Uploaded: 2025-03-01T09:16:29.000Z
Duration: 19 min 59 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my channel.

Now I look super bloated and like swollen. My face is swollen. My hands are swollen.

I can't even wear my wedding ring. It's been really hard. I feel like a whale right now.

This baby is 3.5 pounds now. I can't even imagine a 7 pound baby inside my tiny body.

Walking long distances is not easy. You have a little bit of a sneak peek of the nursery.

I got this chair and like these pillows behind me.

I will give you a full on tour slash thank you for those of you who donated to us for the baby.

You can still donate like anytime. It was extremely helpful especially after we moved into this place. I do want to show you the things that we bought and thank you in the next video or the next couple weeks. I'll be uploading that so you can stay tuned for that and I can't wait to show you the nursery like completely. It's beautiful. It's like my dream nursery in Japan and it's just she's gonna be so comfortable in here and she's like moving so much right now.

Anyway, she hears me talking so she's moving and tossing a lot but I'm gonna do a Q&A because I promised that before I got sick and I didn't get a chance to film it so now I am and I'm not gonna answer all the questions. There were so many but I'm gonna answer some of the essential ones. Some of them are repeat so I'm just gonna do my best to answer as many as I possibly can. The first question is what are you looking forward to most about raising a child in Japan? I'm very excited that she gets to experience the Japanese culture and I get to watch her speak two languages and learn two languages. I think that's the most exciting things for her to really be exposed to the Japanese culture. I'm excited to take her to the places that my husband and I have been to and just watch her explore and grow and learn. The souls of children are just so much in ourselves as well and a lot of us have deactivated that over the years. I'm just excited to see her get curious about things and I feel like I'm gonna see a lot of her in me and having a daughter I feel like I can really connect in that way as a woman and you know see myself as a young girl again so I'm just really excited about that. The second question was the initial feeling of what you thought the sex might be turned out to be correct. First of all, I did think it was a boy in the beginning just because there are you know the old wives tales you know like if you're craving like spicy or savory foods and things like that then you're having a boy things like that like there are a lot of things that I was learning about when it came to like what the sex could possibly be but as my pregnancy progressed I was like well maybe I'm gonna have a girl but I think the fact that I didn't have a preference like I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl it just kind of made it well like whatever you know like it wasn't something that I was really deeply thinking about when it came to the sex of the baby but I do have to say that I'm glad that I'm having a girl. Becoming parents, what are you both most excited for and mourning about your old life? I feel like I don't want to say that it's just like we're having like a whole new life because I don't think that you need to give up everything in your life just to be a parent. I feel like you have to just become innovative, find ways to incorporate your passions, you know, into your new lifestyle. It's a change of lifestyle and that's okay. I like to think of it that way instead of being like oh well everything's out the window like we can't do the things that we love anymore and that's not necessarily true um so we're not necessarily mourning our old lives but we do realize obviously that you know things are going to change and we have another person that we have to take care of and worry about. That child comes first before anything else. I've been wanting this all my life is to potentially be a mother but I think when you get pregnant and when you know that you're becoming a mom some interests and passions do change. I'm really grateful that I was able to have a child because not many people are very lucky and so I'm just feeling like this is such a blessing and I want to just soak it all up so I'm looking forward to the work that it takes to raise a child less mourning and more excited. I'm more excited to have children than mourning my old life. I don't know if that made sense. I like this question. Favorite aspect of pregnancy? Pregnancy has been hard. I mean it's been up and down for me. It's it's there's been moments that are so enjoyable and beautiful you know I'm just so excited and I love feeling the baby's movements and things like that. I think that's one of the aspects is like you get to feel this life inside if you're moving. That sounds weird. I just love feeling the baby's movements even though this entire process has changed my body. It's changed my mind. It's been hard on my body and my mind.

I feel empowered. There's just like this newfound empowerment within me. Now I'm on this a new inner journey separate from the one that I was on before. It has been a struggle and I've been trying to figure out ways to cope because when you're going through pregnancy there is a ton of new experiences that you have and first-time experiences that you have. So you're learning about your mind and you're learning about your body and you're learning about so many things. So there's been a lot of beginner's mind happening with me curiosity like what is this? How do I work with this? How do I cope with this? I feel like the tools for mindset are very different from the tools for mindset for people who are not pregnant. So that's been a very interesting thing for me but I feel like even though some days may seem hard and like I'm I feel like I can't do it. I still feel like a warrior in a sense when it comes to having a baby. You know the fact that I'm able to do this is like the best aspect of being pregnant. Does fraternity leave exist in Japan? Yes it very much does and it depends obviously on the company and I'm sure it's the same in the U.S. My husband is very very very lucky. His company allows so much time off and it's paid time off. There is maternity leave as well for women here in Japan. My friend is on maternity leave right now. It's pretty much the same in the states. I know some companies are different so it just depends on like where you work. How does your family feel about you deciding to stay in Japan longer? Are they planning to come visit you or are you planning to come to the states for a visit after the little one is born?

First of all I'm one of those people that get really overstimulated with a bunch of people here so if there's a ton of people in this apartment and I just had a baby and we're trying to figure out a routine, I'm healing. I don't want that. Like I don't want a ton of people in this apartment. I just want to be with my husband and figure these things out on our own first and then you know later on people can visit and things like that. My mother and father-in-law here in Japan are gonna come for a few days to help out and visit. I'll be you know video chatting with my parents and stuff like that and they're not coming for the birth and also if they were to fly here and were to get COVID they wouldn't even be able to see the baby and I know so many people who have come from America to Japan and found out that they had COVID as soon as they landed and that is not good if that happens because if my parents book a ticket for like a couple weeks then they can't see the baby for a couple weeks. It's just kind of like a choice and a risk and we are saving you know money for other things right now and that again like the baby is like the focus. Again if they were to visit we're just gonna be here with the baby. We can't take the baby like many places right now at this early age. Maybe later on but for now that's just not in the cards and I also don't want to get the baby sick and I don't want my parents to risk getting sick. My mom just went through hip surgery. My dad got over COVID and he has he's a diabetic and there's just so many things that I just wouldn't want my parents to go through flying over here and it just won't be as enjoyable compared to if they were to come here when the baby's a little bit older. That's how it's gonna be. Have you started nesting yet? As you guys know if you follow me on Instagram I've been nesting this entire time. I feel like I'm really ahead of the game. I'm pretty prepared.

We got everything for the baby's room. Everything's set up like I said before. We have a lot of organizing to do still. We focused more on the nursery and the baby first. I will be doing a nursery tour in the next couple weeks. Are you going to be speaking English or Japanese with the baby? Both. My husband's gonna mostly be speaking Japanese. I'm gonna be speaking English.

We also have some baby toys that you know have some Japanese language and English language and then I want to put her in a play group and things like that. There's just gonna be language exposure everywhere so I do want my child to be bilingual. I think it's a missed opportunity if you don't do that so. Someone asked me about discipline and how I plan on disciplining my kids. Honestly like I like a mix of the gentle parenting and uh I guess you would call it Montessori. I think that's what it's called. I have books on it and things like that. A lot of people think gentle parenting is all about like oh letting your kid do whatever they want and being nice and kind and everything.

There is some strictness in that and I think people misunderstand what gentle parenting actually is. I don't want our house and our place to be toxic in a sense where you know we're yelling or fighting. The thing is my husband and I don't like scream and yell at each other. This is the first time I've ever been in a relationship or in a household where there is no fighting to that extreme. I don't think that's healthy. I don't believe that's healthy at all. Like I think that's something that needs to be addressed as a family and we are always very open and communicate very well with each other. I can be a little bit like on edge when it comes to hormones and being angry during this pregnancy and annoyed. I'm sure a lot of women out there can relate. I just want my child to be in an environment where there's no screaming, there's no crazy yelling or toxic fights and I'm glad that that's not how it is. A lot of friends are saying like when you have a kid that's what's gonna happen and like you're gonna hate your husband and you're gonna struggle with your relationship and I feel like people shouldn't say those things as well because every couple is very different. Everyone is very different when it comes to their relationships and if you're constantly fighting with your husband all the time and you know not communicating right then that's a relationship thing and it's not like oh when the baby comes that's what happens with every couple that's what happens with every relationship and so when I was seeing things like on TikTok about women saying oh my husband was my enemy the entire time we had this kid and we were always fighting and hated each other I think it's really sad that someone would say that's what's exactly gonna happen to all of you. That's just my opinion and again my husband and I have been very good at working together and communicating and that's what I wanted in a husband and a relationship and so far so good. I just want to raise my kid in an environment where they can express themselves and speak their mind and where mental health is a topic in this family and isn't something to be ashamed of and I just I want my kids to be very open and know that their needs are important and so many things that I want to be as a mother that I'm excited to kind of put into practice.

What has been the most difficult thing thus far in pregnancy? So many things. Right now the third trimester is just pain, sleep deprivation, I'm out of breath just even doing this video, my back hurts,

I don't feel like myself as much physically anymore, I don't feel sexy, so that's been really hard. Your idea of who you are just kind of gets lost. I feel like I lost myself a little bit of like what I want to do and who I want to be and I know that I'll discover that along the way but it's right now I'm kind of in the dark and so that can be a little bit depressing and I have a lot of anxiety with that so I think your mental health is more extreme, your moods are more extreme, everything annoys you, it's just it's hard. Mentally and physically it's definitely hard.

What are the main foods that you're craving? My cravings have changed so rapidly throughout this entire pregnancy. So I right now my craving is cereal and Japan is the worst cereal so like

I have to order like the expensive kind from America. Like my Cheerios was like 20 bucks and

I get mini wheats and those are like 20 bucks as well so I was just like oh my god but I need

I need cereal. I can't stop eating cereal. Last trimester was like sweets and donuts and first trimester I couldn't even look at a donut, couldn't look at a cookie. I was all about like fatty foods and I still kind of am too, like pizza and stuff. Like I feel so guilty about it because I've just been so up and down with it. My cravings were mostly stuff from the U.S.

and I had a friend from the military that lived here and I used to go to the base all the time and visit her. She was so amazing. She would hook me up with all the pizza rolls and you know like the yogurts and like the things, the cereals, the things that I really missed and I don't have that anymore so I have to fend for myself. Unless someone is in the military that would be willing to host us. I was really craving a lot of things that I missed back home so that was really hard and it still kind of is but I do my best to accommodate. Really quickly I'm going to answer this again. Are you ever moving to the states? We have no idea. We have no idea. There's no answer for this at all yet. We're still thinking. We're still considering but who knows we could end up just staying here and I probably want to have another child here so we're not moving anytime soon. How do you see your ideal labor? This is a good question. I think everybody has a lot of preferences and you can't really plan for anything because so much can change in just like the matter of seconds. My clinic does not have an epidural so I'm a little bit nervous but at the same time

I didn't want one. It kind of takes the weight off my shoulder of deciding if I want one or not.

This clinic has done so well with the foreign community and everybody that has given birth there says amazing things about them so I'm not too worried about it. I have no idea what contractions feel like, what to expect so I'm a little nervous about that. There's a lot that can go wrong with an epidural so and I also have scoliosis so anything that goes in my spine scares me. The feeling of not being able to move. It also is really bad for your nervous system with epidurals because your body kind of goes into fight or flight mode since you have no control over your bottom half and all that stuff. America is very much into the epidural. I know that but

I just I'm gonna push through it. It might suck but I really didn't want an epidural to begin with.

I wanted it to be a natural birth without an epidural. That's how I see my my labor going is like doing all this naturally really tapping into my mind and breathing and all of that. They have essential oils there and music and just really getting into a zen state and pushing through that way. My husband can be there luckily at this new clinic that we moved to. Thank freaking god because the last one he was only going to be there for the birth and then he couldn't visit anymore and after you give birth in Japan you stay for like five to six days at the hospital.

At least with this clinic you know my husband can visit and be there and my doula can be there and

I can hold my baby after birth because they're doing that still like because of COVID. Because of the virus they're not letting mothers hold their babies after giving birth. I think that's insane because the baby obviously doesn't have the virus and neither does the mom so that makes zero sense like at all. It's really sad that they don't do that because of this. I think Japan has extreme rules here when it comes to the virus so I just think it's ridiculous but this clinic luckily um they do that I think it's like kangaroo something it's like kangaroo style I don't know where you like hold your baby right after you give birth and that's what I wanted. I just want it to be a very calming environment get through without an epidural and just do my best.

What are some baby names that you thought of but you didn't use? So this is a question that a lot of people were asking I think I still have yes okay we were trying to think of names that like my family and his family were able to say easily and that were both like Japanese and American so that was the challenge when it came to boy names. Boy names were so hard to find when it came to the combination of Japanese American because they were like really like basic names like June or Ken or something like that and I didn't like any of those. We found a lot of girl names that we really liked so I'm gonna list some of the girl names that we liked but we didn't pick. So we thought of Mickey M-I-K-I um I really like the name Mickey I think it sounds really cool. May was one of them but it's such a common name here that like I just didn't want to I didn't want to call my child like too common of a name I don't know. Kyla. Leia. Leia was one of our top we really liked Leia a lot so um that might be the next girl's name I don't know Leia. Naomi um you hear that a lot in

America Naomi is also a Japanese name we had Maya in here obviously. Saya. Sayuri is a very Japanese name so that's why we didn't pick it but I really like the name and Yuna. Yuna was like one of our top as well so it's either Yuna or Leia that we want for like if we were to have another girl it'd probably be like either Yuna or Leia but who knows we might change our mind. Those were the girl names that we chose in our list. For boy we had a few that we liked that still like are okay with like Japan if that makes sense. We liked uh Riku as a boy name. Hiro. H-I-R-O. I really like that name even like if as like an American name Hiro. H-I-R-O. Luca. Luca was one of our top. Luca and Hiro are our top two. Aiden was a very close second um but it's a very common name in America. I feel like

Luca is too. Kai is a nice name but at the same time it means ocean and I feel like we're not really connect. My husband and I aren't like ocean people or like sea people if that makes sense and we really looked into the name meanings of our kids names and Kai just wasn't resonating with us and we also have Zen and Ren so they were like very simple names. Yeah our top three were Hiro,

Luca, and Aiden so who knows we might use those uh for the next baby because I do want a second baby before I turn 35. But yeah those are the names that we had but we didn't use so if you want to use some of those in the future you can. You're welcome for the ideas. Anyway I feel like that's good enough for this Q&A. I feel like there's a lot more questions. If you have any more questions let me know and I can answer them in other vlogs or on Instagram or whatever but we'll have to do like a part two that's just like questions like in general. Thank you for all who submitted their questions. I will see you in the next video and look forward to the nursery reveal and my big thank you to those who did donate. Thanks for watching and I'll see you in the next video. Don't forget to check out my website at kellymarita.com for courses, free resources, and more. I have a new membership with extra monthly content where I do story times, sit down chatty videos, as well as topics related to self-growth and improvement called the Ikigai Lifestyle Content

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