IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT ATTEMPTS TO

笑い事ではない、特にそれがしようとするならば

DERIVE HUMOR FROM THE AMERICAN POLITICAL PROCESS.

アメリカの政治プロセスからユーモアを引き出す。

THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT IT.

何の変哲もないわ

EXCEPT FOR WHEN THAT FLY LANDED ON MIKE PENCE'S HEAD.

フライがマイク・ペンスの頭に落ちた時以外はね

THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

なかなか良かったよ

AND YET FOR REASONS UNKNOWN, WEEK AFTER WEEK, STEPHEN COLBERT

AND YET FOR REASONS UNKNOWN, WEEK AFTER WEEK, STEPHEN COLBERT

HAS TAKEN TO "THE LATE SHOW"" AND BRAZENLY ATTEMPTED TO MAKE

"レイトショーに出演しました"と無謀なことをしようとした。

JOKES IN THE RUN-UP TO THE 2020 ELECTION.

2020年の選挙に向けてのジョーク。

YOU CRAZY BASTARD.

YOU CRAZY BASTARD.

HELLO, I'M SAM WATER STON.

こんにちは、私はサム・ウォーター・ストンです。

YOU MAY RECOGNIZE ME FROM "LAW & ORDER," OR MY PERSONAL PASTA

"法と秩序 "や個人的なパスタから 私を認識することができます

SAUCES WHERE NONE OF THE MONEY GOES TO CHARITY.

慈善事業に使われていないソーケス。

TONIGHT I WILL BE YOUR GUIDE AS WE LOOK AT THE THE LATE SHOW

TONIGHT I WILL BE YOUR GUIDE AS WE LOOK AT THE THE LATE SHOW

WITH STEPHEN COLBERT'S 2020 CAMPAIGN COVERAGE."

"STEPHEN COLBERT'S 2020 CAMPAIGN COVERAGE"

AND WHILE THIS WILL BE A COLLECTION OF SOME OF THE BEST

そして、これは最高のコレクションになります。

MOMENTS FROM "THE LATE SHOW," I ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT SOME

MOMENTS FROM "THE LATE SHOW," I ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT SOME

SILLY "BEST OF" SHOW.

SILLY "BEST OF" SHOW。

IT IS SOMETHING MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

IT IS SOMETHING MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

TONIGHT, WE FULFILL A COTRACTUAL OBLIGATION TO THE

TONIGHT, WE FULFILL A COTRACTUAL OBLIGATION TO THE

NETWORK.

NETWORK.

WE BEGIN WITH SOME OF COLBERT'S BEST MONOLOGUES FROM THE

コルバートの最高のモノローグを紹介します

DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY.

DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY.

FIRST, OF COURSE, THE OPENING CREDITS.

最初に、もちろん、オープニングのクレジットです。

>> IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT: 2020 CAMPAIGN

>> >> スティーブン・コルバートとのレイトショー：2020年のキャンペーン

COVERAGE SPECIAL."

COVERAGE SPECIAL."

PLUS THE BEST OF CANDIDAT MONOLOGUES, THE BEST OF

候補者のモノローグのベスト・オブ・ザ・ベストに加えて

CANDIDATE INTERVIEWS AND CAMPAIGN FIELD PIECES.

キャンディデート・インタビューとキャンペーン・フィールド・ピース。

AND SAM WATERSTON EATING A GIANT SANDWICH.

そしてサム・ウォーターストンは 巨大なサンドウィッチを食べてる

AND NOW LIVE ON A BURCH OF TAPES FROM THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER,

そして今、エド・サリバン劇場からのテープの教会でライブをしています。

IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!

IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT!

>> TRUMP'S DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

>> TRUMP'S DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

AT LEAST FOR HIS FIRST TERM, BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING CLOSER AND

少なくとも彼の最初の期間は、私たちが近づいているからです。

CLOSER TO THE NEXT PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

次の大統領選挙に近づいています。

THERE ARE A LOT OF DEMOCRATS IN THIS THING.

この中には民主主義者がたくさんいる。

IN FACT, HERE ARE ALL THE CANDIDATES.

IN FACT, HERE ARE ALL THE CANDIDATES.

( LAUGHTER ) "THE NEW YORK TIMES" SAYS ARE

( LAUGHTER ) "THE NEW YORK TIMES" SAYS ARE

EITHERTRUNNING OR MIGHT RUN.

EITHERTRUNNING OR MIGHT RUN.

THIS-- THERE'S A ( SNIFFS )

これは...これは...

OF COURSE, WITH NEARLY 30 PEOPLE POSSIBLY VYING FOR THE

もちろん、30人近くの人がこの座を争っています。

DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION, IT'S EASIER TO FOCUS ON WHO'S NOT

DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION, IT'S EASIER TO FOCUS ON WHO'S NOT

RUNNING AND WE'LL DO THAT IN MY NEW SEGMENT "NOT DOING IT DONKEY

ランニングと新セグメント「ノット・ドッキング・イット・ドンキー」でやります。

STYLE."

"スタイル"

>> NO, THANKS!

>> いや、ありがとうございます!

>> Stephen: FIRST BOWING OUT, HILLARY CLINTON HAS ANNOUNCED

>> スティーブンヒラリー・クリントンが最初の退場を発表しました。

HE'S NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN 2020.

彼は2020年に大統領に立候補していない

THAT IS TOUGH NEWS FOR REPUBLICANS.

THAT IS TOUGH NEWS FOR REPUBLICANS.

THEY STILL HAVEN'T REALIZED SHE'S NO LONGER RUNNING IN 2016.

2016年に出馬していないことに まだ気づいていない

( LAUGHTER ) I STUCK A VOTEO OF VOLDER MORT

ヴォルダーモルトの動画を撮ってきました

IN THERE, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

そこにいて 気づかなかったのね

RIGHT DOWN THERE.

RIGHT DOWN THERE.

( APPLAUSE ) OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S A VOLT.

( APPLAUSE ) OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S A VOLT.

VOLDERMORT IS A LIBERTARIAN.

ヴォルダーモルトはリバタリアンだ

BIDEN HAS LED EVERY NATIONAL POLL OF DEMOCRATS, WITHOUT EVEN

バイデンは、すべての民主主義者の全国世論調査をリードしてきました。

HAVING DECLARED HE'S RUNNING.

走ることを宣言しています

BUT ON SATURDAY, HE MAY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED THE BEANS.

でも土曜日には偶然にも 豆をこぼしたかもしれない

>> I AM THE MOST PROGRESSIVE RECORD OF ANYBODY RUNNING FOR

>> 私は誰よりも進歩的な記録を持っています

THE-- IF ANYBODY WHO WOULD RUN.

もし誰かが走るならば

( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: THE MAN HAS NOT

( Applause ) >> Stephen.男はしていない

LOST A MISSTEP.

LOST A MISSTEP.

BIDEN LEADS TRUMP BY 13 POINTS.

BIDEN LEADS TRUMP BY 13 POINTS.

AND IT'S NOT JUST BIDEN.

それはただのバイデンじゃない

IN THE POLL, SANDERS BEATS TRUMP BY NINE POINTS, HARRIS WINS BY

世論調査では、サンダースは9ポイント差でトランプを打ち負かし、ハリスは9ポイント差で勝利しました。

EIGHT POINTS, WARREN BEATS HIM BY 7.

8点 ワレンは7点差で彼を打ち負かした

BUTTIGIEG AND BOOKER BOTH BEAT HIM BY FIVE.

BUTTIGIEG AND BOOKER BOTH BEAT HIM BY FIVE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )。

AND-- AND SOMEHOW-- AND SOMEHOW, BILL DE BLASIO STILL LOSES BY

そして...なんとなく...なんとなく...なんとなく...ビル・デ・ブラシオはまだ負けている

137%.

137%.

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, WE ARE LIVE--

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, WE ARE LIVE--

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A LIVE-- THAT'S A LIVE

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S A LIVE -- THAT'S A LIVE

AUDIENCE RIGHT THERE.

AUDIENCE RIGHT THERE.

IT IS JUST CRACKLING WITH TERRORIST IN HERE.

IT IS JUST CRACKLING WITH TERRORIST IN HERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )。

BECAUSE-- WE'RE LIVE AFTER THE FIRST OF TWO DEMOCRATIC

BECAUSE-- WE'RE LIVE AFTER THE FIRST OF TWO DEMOCRATIC

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES.

大統領討論会です

TONIGHT, WEDNESDAY, WAS THE UNDER-CARD PITTING ELIZABETH

今夜、水曜日のアンダーカードはエリザベスのピッティングでした。

WARREN, CORY BOOKER, AND BETO O'ROURKE AGAINST SEVEN PEOPLE

ウォーレン コーリー・ブッカー ベト・ウルークは７人を相手にした

ANGLING FOR MSNBC WHAT'S YOUR MESSAGE FOR CARDI B

MSNBCへのアングル カーディBへのメッセージは？

AND HER FOLLOWERS.

そして彼女のフォロワー

>> I THANK HER VERY MUCH.H3 I'M VERY APPRECIATIVE TO HAVE

>> 仝それにしても、このようなことをしているのは、私たちには、とてもありがたいことですね。

HER SUPPORT.

HER SUPPORT.

>> IT'S THE MATCH-UP OF THE CENTURY.

>> IT'S THE MATCH-UP OF THE CENTURY.

LOOK, I DON'T MAKE MONEY MOVES.

いいか、俺は金の動きをしないんだ

I MOVIE MONEY FROM THE BILLIONAIRE CLASS TO THE 99%.

I MOVIE MONEY FROM THE BILLIONAIRE CLASS TO THE 99%.

I'M A DOG.

I'M A DOG.

I'M A FLIRT.

私はFLIRTです。

AND IT'S HIGH TIME WE HAD MEDICARE.

そして、医療保険を持っていたのは高時間です。

IT IS HIGH TIME WE HAD MEDICARE FOR ALL YOU BROKE HO'S.

それはあなたが壊れたすべてのHO'Sのための医療保険を持っていたのは、ハイタイムです。

I KNOW A BAD BITCH WHEN I SEE ONE.

見れば悪女だとわかる

TELL RI-RI-I NEED A THREE SELL.

ＲＩ-ＲＩに伝えてくれ ３つの売りが必要だ

AFTER NIGHT ONE OF THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, THIS IS THE

AFTER NIGHT ONE OF THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE, THIS IS THE

SECOND ROUND OF DEBATES, SO WE'RE CALLING IT "DEMOCRATIC

第2回目の討論会では「民主主義」と呼ぶことにしました

DEBATE NIGHT-- TOO MANY CANDIDATES TO REMEMBER FORGET

討論会の夜 候補者が多すぎて忘れてしまう

HARDER."

HARDER."

JOE BIDEN BROKE THE ICE WITH HARRIS RIGHT OFF THE TOP.

JOE BIDEN BROKE THE ICE WITH HARRIS RIGHT OFF THE TOP.

TOP.

TOPへ戻る

>> TO WHICH HARRIS RESPONDED, "I HOPE YOU'RE WEARING A CUP."

>> そこでハリスは "I HOPE YOU'RE WEARING A CUP "と答えた。

>> BIDEN DID WELL ENOUGH TO STOP SOME OF THE FEARS BUT NOT TO

>> バイデンは、恐怖の一部を止めることはできたが、恐怖を止めることはできなかった。

GIVE PEOPLE THAT OVERWHELMING CONFIDENCE THIS IS OUR GUY.

人々に、このような温かい信頼感を与えることができます。

>> I THINK BIDEN DID OKAY.

>> >> I THINK BIDEN DIDAY OKだと思います。

>> HE CAME THROUGH IT JUST FINE.

>> 彼はそれをうまく乗り切った。

>> HE DID WELL ENOUGH.

>> HE DID WELL ENOUGH.

WAS HE AMAZING?

素晴らしかったですよね？

WAS HE PERFECT?

完璧だった？

WAS HE ENTIRELY CONSISTENT?

彼は完全に一貫していましたか？

NO.

NO.

>> Stephen: THERE YOU HAVE IT.

>> スティーブンここにあります

DEMOCRATS HAVE GONE FROM, "YES WE CAN," TO "THAT WILL DO.

民主党は、"YES WE CAN "から、"THAT WILL DO "へと移行しました。

I'LL TAKE IT."

I'LL TAKE IT."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "I'LL TAKE IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "I'LL TAKE IT.

I'M FINE WITH THAT."

"それでいい"

>> Jon: YOU LIKE THAT.

>> ジョンお前はそれが好きなんだな

>> Stephen: I'M FINE WITH THAT.

>> スティーブン私はそれでいい

BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME, RIGHT?

BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME, RIGHT?

THE ELECTION IS STILL 16 MONTHS AWAY.

選挙はまだ16ヶ月先です。

YOU GOTTA HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE AT FIRST, RIGHT?

YOU GOTTA HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE AT FIRST, RIGHT?

IT'S LIKE-- IT'S LIKE-- IT'S LIKE SEA TURTLES HATCHING ON A

まるで...まるで...まるで...まるでウミガメが羽交い締めをしているような...

BEACH, OKAY.

ＢＥＡＣＨ、ＯＫＡＹ。

LOTS OF BIRDS CIRCLING OVERHEAD, BUT THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF THEM.

たくさんの鳥が頭上を旋回しているが、そのうちの何千羽もの鳥がいる。

ONE OF THEM HAS TO MAKE IT TO THE WATER.

彼らのうちの一人は水の中に行かなければならない

PLUS IT'S GOING TO BE SO FUN TO WATCH THOSE BIRDS DRAG OFF BILL

PLUS IT'S GOING TO BE SO FUN TO WATCH THOSE BIRDS DRAG OFF BILL

DE BLASIO.

デ・ブラシオ

>> Jon: OH!

>> ジョンOH!

OH!

嗟乎

>> Stephen: CIRCLE OF LIFE.

>> スティーブン：CIRCLE OF LIFE.

SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS JUST ANNOUNCED SHE IS DROPPING OUT OF

カマラ・ハリス上院議員が 辞退を発表しました

THE RACE.

THE RACE.

RACE.

RACE.

( EXPLOSION ) THERE SHE IS, OFF TO LOW ORBIT.

( 爆発 ) 彼女はそこにいた 低軌道に向かっている

WHEN IT COMES TO NOT BEING THE FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT, SHE WAS

WHEN IT COMES TO NOT BEING THE FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT, SHE WAS

THAT LITTLE GIRL.

THAT LITTLE GIRL.

( LAUGHTER ) SENATOR...

( LAUGHTER ) 上院議員...

>> Jon: OOOOH!

>> ジョンオーーーー！

>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> スティーブンようこそ

( LAUGHTER ) HARRIS WASN'T ALONE IN LEAVING

( LAUGHTER ) HARRIS WASN'T ALONE IN LEAVING

THE RACE.

THE RACE.

ON MONDAY, MONTANA GOVERNOR STEVE BULLOCK ALSO DROPPED OUT.

月曜日には、モンタナ州知事の スティーブ・ブロックも脱落しました。

UNFORTUNATELY, DUE TO HIS LOW POLL NUMBERS, BULLOCK DID NOT

不幸なことに、彼の低い投票数のために、BULLOCKはしませんでした。

QUALIFY TO BE IN THIS JOKE.

このジョークに参加する資格があります。

( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT'S HARD FOR ME NOT TO TAKE

( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT'S HARD FOR ME NOT TO TAKE

THIS A LITTLE PERSONALLY BECAUSE YOU SEE BOTH HARRIS AND BULLOCK

ハリスとバロックの二人が見えるから 少し個人的な話になるが

HAD MEMORABLE APPEARANCE HERE'S ON "THE LATE SHOW"."

"記憶に残る登場がありました。"

HARRIS WAS ON THE SHOW FOUR TIMES, INCLUDING JUST TWO WEEKS

HARRIS WAS ON THE SHOW FOUR TIMES, INCLUDING JUST TWO WEEKS

AGO FOR HER LAST APPEARANCE ON LATE NIGHT AS A CANDIDATE.

候補者としての彼女の最後の出現のために

AND REMEMBER WHO ANNOUNCED THEY WERE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT ON MY

誰が大統領選に立候補すると発表したか覚えていますか？

SHOW?

ＳＨＯＷ？

KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND AND ERIC SWALWELL.

キルステン・ギリーブランドとエリック・スウォルウェル

I AM OFFICIALLY THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY KISS OF DEATH.

私は正式に民主党の死の第一歩だ

THIS ISN'T FOR SURE, BUT IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH

THIS ISN'T FOR SURE, BUT IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH

MY GREEN WROOM I STORE MY LADDER, BROKEN MIRROR, AND BLACK

MY GREEN WROOM I STORE MY LADDER, BROKEN MIRROR, AND BLACK

CAT COLLECTION.

CAT COLLECTION.

IF I'M GOING TO BE A JINX, I MIGHT AS WELL USE IT TO HELP

私がジンクスになるならば、私はそれを助けるために使用することができます。

AMERICA.

AMERICA.

JOHN DELANEY, COME ON THIS SHOW.

ジョン・デレーニー この番組に出てくれ

IT'S TIME.

IT'S TIME.

THIS WEEK, MAYOR BLOOMBERG MET WITH VOTERS IN BURLINGTON,

THIS WEEK, MAYOR BLOOMBERG MET WITH VOTERS IN BURLINGTON,

VERMONT, AND SHOOK A DOG'S FACE.

VERMONT, AND SHOOK A DOG'S FACE.

NO!

駄目だ！

BAD BILLIONAIRE!

BAD BILLIONAIRE!

BAD!

バッド！

DOWN, MIKE!

DOWN, MIKE!

DOWN!

下がれ！

THE DOG ACTUALLY SEEMED TO LIKE IT.

THE DOG ACTUALLY SEEMED TO LIKE IT.

SO NOW BLOOMBERG DOES THE SAME THING WITH ALL THE BABIES HE

SO NOW BLOOMBERG DOES THE SAME THING WITH ALL THE BABIES HE

MEETS.

会います。

( LAUGHTER ) THERE IS-- THERE IS JUST SO MUCH

( LAUGHTER ) これは... これは... これは... これは... これは... これは...

TO TALK ABOUT TONIGHT, JON.

今夜の話をしよう

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

>> Jon: YES, YES, YES.

>>ジョンです。YES、YES、YES、YES。

>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT THE SUPER BOWL.

>> スティーブンスーパーボウルを手に入れた