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For as long as I can remember, I've

had a soft spot for love and melancholy.

And I think those two things are intimately interrelated, right?

Love and sadness-- they exist in the same space.

There's a reason the filmmaker Cameron

Crowe uses the term happy, sad to describe those moments that

move us, that swell us, that we become engorged with emotions.

And we're also a little bit like,

oh man I'm not so sure if that's making me that happy

or if I'm sad-- I can't really tell.

And Roland Barthes explored this beautifully in his book

"A Lover's Discourse."

There's a couple lines in it that I really love.

He says--

"The first thing we love is a scene,

which is seen for the first time.

Curtain parts, and what had never been seen

is devoured by the eyes.

It's distinct, abrupt, framed.

It is already a memory."

And this is the line that really gets me.

This idea that when we're struck by love,

it is Immediately already a memory.

The moment is happening, and you're already

mourning the fact that the moment will end.

This intertwining of melancholy, of loss, that is literally

embedded in the experience of rapture

is what's so unique and mesmerizing about love

but also what makes it so tragic.

Right?

There's a reason that Roland Bathes

cites love as, "the romantic solution

to the problem of death."

That our lovers act as stand-ins in a staged, managed,

resurrection.

Where the pilgrim without faith can die and live again.

These death and re-birth simulations

allowing us to finally-- to turn our lovers

into Gods and Goddesses.

To be saved by them.

It's every pop song, it's every romantic movie

you've ever seen.

You know the feeling, it moves us to tears.

But who cares.

Because as Camus says, "Life should

be lived to the point of tears."

So, fall in love, or die trying.

Right?

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