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S HEY, EVERYBODY, WE'RE HERE WITH PATSTON OSWALT, PATTON, YOU
HAVE A NEW STAND UP TOUR CALLED I LOVE EVERYTHING.
DO YOU THOUGH?
>> WELL.
>> Stephen: SHARE SOME LOVE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, STEVE, SOMETIMES MY LOVE OF THINGS
LEADS TO HATRED.
>> Stephen: THAT IS EITHER VERY DEEP OR VERY DUMB.
>> THANK YOU.
FOR INSTANCE, I WILL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.
I LOVE A CLEAN AND ORDERLY STARBUCKS FIXINGS AREA WITH YOU
WILL A THE SUGARS AND MILK,.
>> Stephen: CINNAMON AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
>> YES.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, PEOPLE, YOU GO TO THOSE
STARBUCKS THINGS AND THEY, LIKE DO THEY OPEN THE SUGAR AND KOOND
OF-- GO LIKE THIS AND DROP IT DOWN AND THEY JUST KIND OF-- IT
LOOKS LIKE THEY WERE ADDING MILK TO THEIR COFFEE BUT POURING IT
IN THEIR PALM AND PUTTING IT-- TRYING TO-- IT'S SO
DISGUSTING, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, IT DRIVES ME NUTS.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS, THEY ARE ANIMALS.
>> LOOK.
>> Stephen: I HAVE SEEN STADIUM BATHROOMS BATHROOM
CLEANER THAN A FIXINGS AREA.
>> THE STADIUM BATHROOM, YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR THAT TO BE
MESS EEKS THERE IS A GAME GOING ON, HAVE I TO GET BACK TO THE
GAME, I'M A LITTLE DRUNK.
WHO IS GOING ON AT STARBUCKS WHERE YOU ARE JUST-- LIKE PEM
ARE RUNNING BY-- DI-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT, THE STARBUCKS FIXINGS
AREA, THAT IS THE ONLY TIE I HAVE EVER GONE, I DON'T KNOW IF
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT AS A SPECIES.
WE MIGHT ACTUALLY, WE'RE CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO COLONIZE
MARS.
IF THIS IS HOW WE LEAVE, WE ARE NOT GOING TO TERAFORM ANOTHER
PLANET.
IF YOU CAN'T THROW AWAY A SUGAR IN THE RAW PACKET!
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, MY GUEST USING THE WORD TERAFORM.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: CHECK OUT PATTON OS WALL-- -- OSWALT.COM FOR HIS
TOUR DATES, PATTON OSWALT.COM, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.