FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND THE HOST

OF MY FAVORITE LATE-NIGHT SHOW IN CHINA, "IS IT TRUE?"

PLEASE WELCOME, ALL THE WAY FROM BEIJING, JOE WONG!

♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )

>> HELLO.

HI, EVERYBODY.

HELLO, PEOPLE UP THERE.

HELLO.

SO, I AM ACTUALLY AN AMERICAN IMMIGRANT.

AND THEY SAY THAT AMERICA IS A COUNTRY OF IMMIGRANTS.

SO I HAVE TO ASK YOU GUYS-- PLEASE, LEAVE MY COUNTRY.

( LAUGHTER ) I'M SERIOUS.

WE HAVE A ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY RIGHT NOW.

( LAUGHTER ) I HEARD THAT ASIANS HAVE BECOME

THE FASTEST GROWING IMMIGRANT GROUP IN AMERICA, WHICH IS

REALLY AMAZING BECAUSE MEXICANS CAN CROSS THE RIVER AND COME

HERE.

AND I HAD TO FLY THOUSANDS OF MILES TO MEXICO--

( LAUGHTER ) AND THEN CROSS THAT RIVER.

TRUMP WANTS TO BUILD A WALL TO STOP IMMIGRATION.

I'M FROM CHINA.

( LAUGHTER ) SO I KNOW A LOT ABOUT WALLS.

THEY DON'T WORK.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS ) AND SINCE IT'S LATER, IT'S JUST

GOING TO BECOME A HUGE TOURIST ATTRACTION.

( LAUGHTER ) BUT I DO RESPECT TRUMP, THOUGH,

BECAUSE AFTER HE TOOK OFFICE, THERE WAS THE K.K.K. MARCH,

ANTI-K.K.K. MARCH, WOMEN'S MARCH, ANTI-CHILD SEPARATION

MARCH.

AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH AMERICANS HATE EXERCISE.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

HE HAS CONTRIBUTED MORE TO AMERICANS' HEALTH THAN ALL OF

THE Y.M.C.A.s COMBINED.

( LAUGHTER ) AND HE ALSO CONTRIBUTES TO THE

HEALTH OF OTHER COUNTRIES, BECAUSE LAUGHTER IS THE BEST

MEDICINE.

( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I MEAN, YOU HAVE SEEN HIS PERFORMANCE AT THE U.N.?

( LAUGHTER ) HE KILLED.

THEY WERE PROBABLY EVEN A BETTER AUDIENCE THAN YOU GUYS ARE.

( LAUGHTER ) JUST KIDDING.

YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.

MY SON WAS BORN AND RAISED IN AMERICA.

I REMEMBER ONE DAY HE CAME HOME-- HE CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL.

THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS ABOUT FIVE YEARS OLD.

HE SAID TO ME, "HEY, DAD, I LEARNED AMERICAN HISTORY TODAY."

I SAID, WOW, THAT'S GREAT."

HE SAID, "NOW I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR BLACK PEOPLE."

I SAID, "YEAH, THEY'RE REALLY MISTREATED IN AMERICAN HISTORY."

HE SAID, "YEAH, AND I'M SO GLAD THAT I'M WHITE."

( LAUGHTER ) I SAID, "HOLD ON.

( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE NOT WHITE."

HE SAID, "WHAT AM I?" I SAID, "YOU'RE YELLOW."

THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

HE TOOK A LOOK AT I HAD HAND.

HE WAS LIKE, "DADDY, THIS DOESN'T LOOK YELLOW TO ME."

I SAID, "YES, I KNOW, BUT THIS IS AMERICA AND EVERYBODY HAS TO

HAVE A COLOR, AND THAT'S THE COLOR THEY GAVE US.

YOU BETTER DEAL WITH IT."

( LAUGHTER ) BUT MY SON HAS A GOOD POWNT,

THOUGH.

NOBODY IN AMERICA, ESPECIALLY A PERSON OF COLOR, IS EXACTLY THE

COLOR THEY ARE ASSIGNED, YOU KNOW.

LIKE, THIS IS NOT EXACTLY YELLOW.

IT'S KIND OF BROWN.

A BLACK PERSON IS NOT EXACTLY BLACK.

THEY'RE KIND OF BROWN.

SO WE'RE PRETTY MUCH ALL DIFFERENT SHADES OF MEXICANS.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS ) SO, WHITE PEOPLE, PLEASE DON'T

FEEL LEFT OUT.

I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS IN COMMON WITH WHITE GUYS.

FOR EXAMPLE, I HAVE AN ASIAN WIFE.

( LAUGHTER ) ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ABOUT MY TIME.

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANKS.

THANKS A LOT.

>> Stephen: JOE WONG, EVERYBODY!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.