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  • State your name for the record.

  • Jyn Andtonic.

  • Forgery of Imperial documents;

  • Possession of stolen property;

  • Assault with a deadly ball droid;

  • Impersonating an Ewok.

  • But enough about me.

  • Let's talk about your crimes.

  • This is a Rebellion, isn't it?

  • I rebel.

  • We've a mission for you.

  • Sorry! Not interested.

  • I don't work for "the man"!

  • Or "woman", in this case.

  • I see.

  • Well, just as long as you don't steal the plans to the Empire's new weapon

  • and deliver them to us.

  • That would be very inappropriate and sexy.

  • Well guess what?

  • That's exactly what I'm going to do and you can't stop me, Mom!

  • I mean... Mon.

  • Oh, confound it all!

  • Why must you be so rebellious?

  • Here are the details.

  • It's outta there!

  • The world... is coming undone.

  • Look at my shoe.

  • That's where it starts.

  • What happened to your legs?

  • Nothing.

  • They were born like that.

  • It's a long story.

  • Suffice to say, my mother once got very drunk at a party;

  • there were droids present; she made poor choices;

  • and nine months later, went through one hell of a labor.

  • A major weapons test is imminent.

  • Haha!

  • This should fix that leak!

  • AW, MAN!

  • That's the biggest plug the Empire makes!

  • It appears your father is mixed up in some next-level architecture.

  • God help us if the Rebellion ever gets their hands on these detailed blueprints.

  • I'm putting a team together -

  • the worst of the worst of the most pitiful losers.

  • I want you to be our captain.

  • I am both flattered...

  • and extremely offended.

  • I fear nothing.

  • All is as the Force wills it.

  • Oh... THANKS, FORCE!

  • Thanks a bunch!

  • The captain says you are a friend.

  • I will not kill you.

  • "Friend" is extreme.

  • I'd say "acquaintance".

  • Also, I can't believe this is the second time I'm asking this question today,

  • but what happened to your legs?

  • Nothing.

  • It's a long story.

  • They are requesting a call sign.

  • It's, um...

  • Bodhi.

  • Bodhi Rook and the Rebel Scum.

  • Bodhi?

  • Can I've a word with you outside?

  • If the Empire has this kind of power

  • what chance do we have?

  • Seriously - I'm placing a bet.

  • What are my odds?

  • Ugh!

  • I hate it when they fly right at your face like that!

  • I know, right?

  • Ooh, can I score some of that?

  • Oh, course you can, babe.

  • Are you with me?

  • All the way.

  • Speak for yourself, you horny bastard.

  • I want to get off.

  • Well you can't.

  • The door's already closed.

  • Then why did you ask if we don't actually have a say in the matter?

  • You just wanted some validation, didn't you?

  • Just wanted a big scene.

  • Well I hope you all realise we're flying to our deaths

  • just so Miss Rebel-Without-A-Cause can satisfy her hero complex.

  • You're a droid! You can't die.

  • [ALL GASP]

  • You flagrant droidist!

  • You're all witnesses.

  • Jyn.

  • That's really not cool.

  • Vader.

  • I told you not to stand so close to the screen -

  • you'll ruin your optics.

  • Leave me alone.

  • You're not my father.

  • Well...

  • I wasn't going to say anything...

  • but since you brought it up...

  • No.

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • [EMPEROR] Not exactly the... reaction I was hoping for.

  • [VADER] Well what do you expect?

  • I thought I was immaculately conceived.

  • You know, if I had a secret son, I wouldn't just drop the bombshell on him like that.

  • I'd do it properly.

  • I'd lead him somewhere private; take his hand;

  • perhaps offer him an exciting career opportunity.

  • [EMPEROR] Well, I... I hate to drop another bombshell on you, Vader, but...

  • you may indeed get that chance.

  • [VADER] No.

  • Are you kidding me right now?

  • I cannot believe what I am hearing.

  • Me? A distant father?

  • "Darth Deadbeat"?

  • Palps, I thought you were my homeboy.

  • How many secrets have you kept from me?

  • Next thing I know you'll be telling me my son has a twin sister!

  • [EMPEROR] Vader, you may wish to sit down for the remainder of this conversation.

  • [VADER] Oh, for f--!!

  • I am this close to throwing you down an air shaft.

State your name for the record.

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ローグ・ワン予告編スプーフ - TOON SANDWICH (Rogue One Trailer Spoof - TOON SANDWICH)

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    Jessica Lin に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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