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  • DAVID WAIN: So the rabbi says to the bartender, why wouldn't

  • I shit in the woods?

  • It's not like I eat pork.

  • ANDY: Oh, gosh, that is such a touching story about how your

  • parents met.

  • Speaking of, how's your love life these days?

  • DAVID WAIN: Looking up, as of about two seconds ago.

  • ANDY: Whoa!

  • David, how are you going to score that?

  • What, are you going to brag about your rollerskates?

  • Or better yet, why don't you tell her about your ceremonial

  • knife collection?

  • DAVID WAIN: Maybe we just need to make one of our bets.

  • Shall we say the usual amount?

  • ANDY: If you can still afford it.

  • DAVID WAIN: Hello, ma'am.

  • ANNIE: Whoa!

  • Ah!

  • DAVID WAIN: I'm sorry.

  • Here, let me help you up.

  • Here--

  • ANNIE: Stop that!

  • What's wrong with you?

  • DAVID WAIN: Nothin' a little lovin' won't cure.

  • You see how I dropped the "G" in loving?

  • Not "loving," no.

  • Lovin'.

  • Lovin'.

  • If you come over to my house later, I'll drop a few more

  • "Gs" on you.

  • I'm talking about $1,000 bills.

  • You know what I'm saying?

  • ANNIE: No.

  • DAVID WAIN: Knife collecting's something of a hobby of mine.

  • ANNIE: Really?

  • DAVID WAIN: Yeah.

  • ANNIE: I love knives!

  • DAVID WAIN: Oh!

  • ANNIE: For a second I thought you were some kind of weirdo.

  • DAVID WAIN: No!

  • ANNIE: See you tonight.

  • DAVID WAIN: OK.

  • Hi, I'm so glad you came, especially since you don't

  • have my address.

  • ANNIE: When I like a guy, I find way.

  • DAVID WAIN: Oh, well.

  • Come in, I'll give you the grand tour.

  • This is where the magic happens.

  • And now, a regular fifty-cent piece, a coin trick.

  • A coin trick, a coin trick, trick of a coin.

  • ANNIE: Oh!

  • DAVID WAIN: Impressive, maybe.

  • Inventive, no.

  • ANNIE: Ah!

  • Cute bunny!

  • DAVID WAIN: No, no, don't touch that!

  • That's Dr. McMuffin, and he's vicious.

  • So, I hope you like grilled cheese and cereal--

  • they're the only things I know how to make.

  • ANNIE: What's that?

  • DAVID WAIN: Oh, it's just something I use

  • to look at the heavens.

  • Something I'm sure you're familiar with, my

  • sweet little angel.

  • ANNIE: So, why is it aimed at your neighbor?

  • DAVID WAIN: Oh, I, I thought she was really attractive and

  • it's been awhile since I--

  • ANNIE: It's a dude.

  • DAVID WAIN: What?

  • Oh, you scared me for a second.

  • She's just got a friend over.

  • [HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM]

  • ANNIE: Shh!

  • You're going to wake Dr. McMuffin!

  • DAVID WAIN: There was a murder!

  • Some scary guy just killed my neighbor!

  • ANNIE: David, stop it.

  • You're imagining things.

  • DAVID WAIN: No, I swear I saw it.

  • I saw it!

  • ANNIE: If we just talk to them, I'm sure--

  • DAVID WAIN: We can't talk to them, he's a murderer!

  • How are we supposed to talk to a murd--

  • Annie?

  • Oh!

  • Oh my God, Annie!

  • Ah!

  • Ah!

  • I've got to save Annie!

  • Ah!

  • Ah!

  • Ah!

  • Dr. McMuffin?

  • Ah!

  • Damn you, McMuffin!

  • [EVIL LAUGHTER]

  • DAVID WAIN: Ah!

  • Oh!

  • Ah!

  • It's a real bunny!

  • Uh!

  • I'm coming to save you!

  • I'm going to get you!

  • I'm going to save you, Annie!

  • Ah!

  • ANNIE: Wake up, David.

  • David?

  • David?

  • Wake up.

  • DAVID WAIN: You're alive?

  • FEMALE SPEAKER: Duh.

  • DAVID WAIN: But I don't understand.

  • I saw it with my own eyes.

  • ANNIE: For what it's worth, it wasn't just

  • a job for me, David.

  • I really started to like you.

  • MALE SPEAKER: Come on, Katarina, let's go.

  • DAVID WAIN: Katarina?

  • What the hell is-- a hidden camera?

  • You don't have my address?

  • ANNIE: Just a job for me.

  • DAVID WAIN: Maybe we just need to make one of our bets.

  • ANDY: If you can still afford it.

  • MALE SPEAKER: I'd like to think that the last thing that

  • went through his head, other than that bullet, was to

  • wonder how the hell Andy Dufrain ever

  • got the best of him.

  • DAVID WAIN: It was you!

  • Damn you to hell!

  • ANDY: Well, it looks like I won the bet, eh, David?

  • [EVIL LAUGHTER]

  • That was a long way to go for a $5 bet.

  • I mean, just the camera rental alone cost me $700.

  • Wait a minute.

  • It was you!

  • Damn you to hell!

  • [EVIL LAUGHTER]

  • DAVID WAIN: Hello?

  • DR. PHINEAS T. STINKYBOTTOM: David?

  • It's your doctor.

  • DAVID WAIN: What's up, Dr. Stinkybottom?

  • DR. PHINEAS T. STINKYBOTTOM: I got your test results back and

  • it's not good news.

  • I'm afraid you're dying.

  • You've got about 60 years to live--

  • 65, tops.

  • I'm so sorry.

  • DAVID WAIN: Wah!

DAVID WAIN: So the rabbi says to the bartender, why wouldn't

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ウェインディデイズ #24「ザ・ウェインダウ (Wainy Days #24 'The Waindow')

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    紅謹 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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