and I was going to talk about the economy,

and whether or not the government should

ease regulatory restrictions on financial institutions,

but I think I would rather play a game.

Doesn't that sound like more fun?

[loud cheers and applause]

So-- [cheers and applause]

There's a show called idiot test on...

[audience laughter] Game Show Network,

Have you seen the show, "Idiotest"?

[cheers and applause] Yeah.

You have?

So we played it once here, before--

'cause I assumed we did not have any idiots in the audience,

and I was--I was mistaken, I was sadly mistaken.

[audience laughter] Because I--

I just assume you're not idiots,

and I know today we have no idiots in the audience,

so I feel safe to play the game with you today,

and know--just to reassure the world watching

that you're not idiots.

Here's the unfortunate thing: if we find out you are an idiot,

you're going to have to sit in an idiot section

for the entire show... [audience laughter]

[audience laughter]

With a ridiculous hat on. So--

[audience laughter] Well, anyway, you're not idiots.

What am I thinking? You don't have to--

Let's see who--who is sure they're not an idiot?

It's an easy one, okay? - Okay.

- They get harder from here. - Okay.

- What is something-- what can animals make

that no other animal can?

(woman) What an elephant--what can an elephant make?

- You--I know what I'm saying.

[audience laughter]

Turns out I'm an idiot.

[audience laughter]

- What-- what can an elephant make

that no other animal can make?

- Um...

[audience laughter] Tusks?

- Yes, well, that might be true.

There are other animals that have tusks, though.

- Oh, correct, right. [audience laughter]

They don't live in Glendora, though, so--

- What it is is a baby elephant.

- Oh! [laughs] [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause] - You're gonna head--come here.

[cheers and applause]

Get over there. (audience) Oh!

Sorry. [applause]

[applause]

All right.

[audience laughter]

Here we go. - Okay.

This is relatively easy as well.

A boy is walking down the road with a doctor.

- Mm-hmm. - The boy is the doctor's son.

But the doctor isn't the boy's father.

How is that possible?

- The doctor's a woman.

- Exactly! [cheers and applause]

Yay! [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

Good for you! [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

Yay! [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

Okay, what month do people sleep the least?

- [whispering inaudibly]

Now I feel like an idiot. Um...

- You'll feel more like one when you sit next to her.

[audience laughter] - June?

- June? And why would you say that?

- 'Cause it's the beginning of summer.

- No, it's February because they have less days.

- Oh, I feel so dumb! [cheers and applause]

- Yeah. No, an idiot, not dumb.

That way.

A cowboy rides into town on Friday.

He stays for three days and leaves on Friday.

How does he do it?

- Oh, God. - Cowboy rides into town

on Friday, stays for three days...

- And-- - Leaves on Friday.

How could he do that?

- Uh...

[audience laughter] I don't know.

I don't know. - You don't know?

- I don't know. - The horse's name is Friday.

[cheers and applause]

Go join them.

All right, here you go.

You're locked in a freezing cabin,

with no way out.

There is a candle, a wood stove, and a lantern.

You only have one match. What do you light first?

You want me to say it again?

- The-- - You're locked in a--

You're in a freezing cabin.

- Right. - It's freezing, right?

No way out. There's a candle,

a wood stove, a lantern.

You have one match. What do you light first?

- The stove. - Mm.

Well, most people would say the candle,

so you could light all those other things,

but it's actually the match.

All right. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

Lemar? Join them.

Jane was born on December 28th,

yet her birthday always falls in the summer.

How is that possible?

[whispering inaudibly]

This is ridiculously easy. [audience laughter]

- Is it? - Yep.

- Can you say it one more time? - All right.

Jane was born on December 28th,

yet her birthday always falls in the summer.

How is that possible?

- Can I have a lifeline? - Hmm?

- I'll just go on over there. - All right.

[audience laughter]

[cheers and applause]

By the way, for playing, each of you idiots over there,

you're getting a $500 Best Buy gift card, so--

[cheers and applause]

We reward that! [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

And you, too, yes. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

And the rest of you get this dance!