THERE WAS A CAMERA FOLLOWING ME AROUND

FROM THE DAY THAT WE STARTED REHEARSING

ALL WEEK AND ALL BACKSTAGE THROUGHOUT THE SHOW.

I WANT TO SHOW YOU A LITTLE BIT

ABOUT THE--WHAT HAPPENED BEHIND THE SCENES RIGHT NOW.

- LIVE FROM THE DOLBY THEATRE

AT HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND,

IT'S THE OSCARS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

PLEASE WELCOME YOUR HOST,

ELLEN DEGENERES.

[upbeat funky music]

- I TOLD YOU WHAT I DID OVER THE SUMMER,

AND I FORGOT TO MENTION SOMETHING PRETTY BIG.

I ACTUALLY AGREED TO HOST THE ACADEMY AWARDS AGAIN.

[cheers and applause]

[singing] - OOH

CRAZY'S WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT ME

all: TOO QUICK FOR THE LINES THEY THROW

- GOTTA FEEL IT

BODY TAKES CONTROL

REALLY NEED IT, NEED IT

- WE SEEM WAY OFF.

- I SHOULD BE IN THE MIDDLE. YOU KNOW, SHE'S THE HOST.

- I'M NOT ON CAMERA ANYMORE, AM I?

[laughter]

- [singing] HERE WE GO

FEEL IT IN MY SOUL

REALLY NEED IT, NEED IT

- YOU CAN SEE THAT ALL RIGHT THOUGH, RIGHT?

- WELL, WHEN I'M BEHIND IT, IT'S BETTER.

- YEAH.

- WHAT I DON'T WANT IS IT TO START COMING UP

WHEN I'M STANDING RIGHT OVER IT.

THAT WOULD BE--

- [singing] IT MIGHT SEEM CRAZY

WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY

- OH, MY GOD, BONO, COULD YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF ME?

- WHEN I TURN THE CORNER,

GETTING CLOSE TO THE THEATRE,

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO LOOK UP AND SEE YOURSELF THERE?

- THAT'S NORMALLY IN MY YARD.

AND I MOVED IT HERE TO HELP THEM OUT.

[singing] - GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT

AND DON'T HOLD IT BACK

- YEAH

- HEY, EVERYBODY.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU KNOW.

[laughter]

- [singing] BECAUSE I'M HAPPY

CLAP ALONG IF YOU KNOW

- I THINK I MIGHT JUST SAY I'M TRYING

TO BREAK THE RECORD FOR THE MOST RETWEETED PICTURE.

I REALLY HOPE THAT EVERYONE JUMPS IN THIS PICTURE.

I KEEP THINKING--I MEAN, THAT WILL BE AMAZING

IF EVERYONE REALLY GETS IN.

- MM-HMM.

- SEEMS TO ME LIKE WE NEED TO FIND A SOMMELIER A LITTLE BIT.

- DO I NEED TO SAY SHE'S FROM KENYA?

SHE'S KENYAN? AND--

[laughter]

AND HE IS FROM SOMALIA?

SOMMELIER.

[laughter]

WHO'S THE WINE CAPTAIN NOW?

[laughter]

JUST SO PROUD OF THE JOKE.

- [singing] CLAP ALONG

IF YOU FEEL LIKE HAPPINESS IS THE TRUTH

'CAUSE I'M HAPPY

CLAP ALONG IF YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPINESS IS TO YOU

BECAUSE I'M HAPPY

CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANNA DO

- THE LIGHTS ARE NOW DIM.

PEOPLE ARE BEING ASKED TO TAKE THEIR SEATS.

AND THE OSCARS IS ABOUT TO START.

[contemplative piano music]

- HERE WE GO.

HEY, YOU.

[laughter]

- OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS SO QUICK.

- HI.

- WAIT--WAS THAT ME THAT YOU SAID THAT TO?

- YES. - OH.

IT WAS, OH, MY GOD.

I WAS LIKE, "HOW PRESUMPTUOUS."

- ARE YOU GOING OUT NOW? 'CAUSE WE'RE STARTING.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY-- - YEAH, I NEED TO GO SIT DOWN.

- I THINK YOU SHOULD. - YOU SHOULD GO GET ONSTAGE.

- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY.

- I'LL BE LOOKING AT YOU.

- HAVE A GREAT SHOW.

- THANK YOU!

BYE-BYE!

[cheers and applause]

- PLEASE WELCOME YOUR HOST,

ELLEN DEGENERES.

[inspiring music]

- AND I THINK YOU SHOULD THINK OF YOURSELVES AS WINNERS.

NOT ALL OF YOU, BUT THE PEOPLE WHO'VE WON BEFORE SHOULD

THINK OF YOURSELVES...

AS WINNERS.

AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

"ELLEN, THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.

"YOU'VE BEEN CHOSEN TO HOST,

AND THAT'S SORT OF THE HIGHEST AWARD THERE IS."

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

- [singing] CITY OF ANGELS

DOWN IN THE COMFORT OF STRANGERS

- I LOVE YOU, BABY.

- BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

- BLEH, BLEH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT IT'S GONNA SOUND LIKE.

- DID I MESS YOU UP?

- I'M GONNA GO OUT AND SAY EXACTLY THAT NOW.

CRUSHING. ABSOLUTELY CRUSHING RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. LOOK AT US.

- NICE.

- [singing] CITY OF ANGELS

DOWN IN THE COMFORT OF STRANGERS

[laughter]

- KEVIN'S FACE.

- YES.

- AND HERE ARE THE NOMINEES--

- JARED LETO JUMPING IN-- HE RAN OVER.

- WHEN I LOOK DOWN AT THIS GOLDEN STATUE,

MAY IT REMIND ME AND EVERY LITTLE CHILD

THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU'RE FROM,

YOUR DREAMS ARE VALID.

THANK YOU.

[cheers and applause]

- OH, MY GOD.

- HOW DID I DO?

- YOU WENT, AND IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPEECH.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

- THANK YOU.

- OKAY, GOOD. COME ON.

LET'S GO.

- HOLD THESE.

- ALL RIGHT.

GUESS WHAT? PIZZA'S HERE.

[cheers and applause]

- [singing] HOME

HOME

- I LOVE YOU.

[laughter]

- YOU'RE DOING GOOD. - OH.

OH, GOD, WHICH WAY DO I GO?

- I DON'T KNOW. GOOD LUCK.

- COME ON.

- SHE'S RUNNING.

[laughter]

- HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- YOU'RE KILLING IT. - OH, THANKS.

- SO... - WE BROKE THE RECORD.

- WITH THAT PICTURE? - WELL, I'M SHOCKED.

[laughter]

- NO. - WE CRASHED TWITTER.

WE MADE HISTORY.

- THAT'S AMAZING. - OH, MY GOD.

- WE MADE HISTORY. - OH, MY GOD.

- YEAH.

- ONE OF US SHOULD HAVE FLASHED A BOOB.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY--WE WOULD HAVE SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET.

- NEXT YEAR--WE HAVE TIME.

- ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. - WE HAVE TIME.

- THEY SAID-- THEY SAID THAT YOU--

- I QUIT, AND YOU'RE TAKING OVER?

- WELL-- [laughs]

- YOU CAN FINISH IT. FINISH IT FOR ME.

- LISTEN, ELLEN HAD TO LEAVE.

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...

"12 YEARS A SLAVE."

[cheers and applause]

- THAT'S IT. GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

BYE-BYE.

[cheers and applause]

WHOO!

OOH!

[cheers and applause]

- ALL RIGHT.

- I CAN'T EXPRESS MY GRATITUDE ENOUGH FOR

HOW HARD EVERYBODY WORKED.

THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL.

all: CHEERS!

[cheers and applause]

- I MEAN IT. THANK YOU ALL.

SO MANY PEOPLE TO THANK. THANK YOU.

WE'LL BE BACK WITH SARAH JESSICA PARKER.