Ravenpaw: Omg, oh no, this very bad, oh no.

Tigerclaw: You saw nothing, noob.

Bluestar: Have you had any dreams, Spottedleaf?

Spottedleaf: No, Bluestar.

[Sounds of giant meteor barreling towards earth, supposedly my version of an exaggerated sign from Starclan]

[FAT EXPLOSION]

Spottedleaf: Oh, wait nevermind.

Rusty: Time to go into the woods.

[Minecraft walking noises]

Smudge: No stop, the woods are super dangerous.

Rusty: Do not tell me what to do.

[Minecraft walking noises]

Rusty: Omg bro, stop!

Graypaw: I will eat you.

Bluestar: Stop.

Bluestar: Do you want to join our cult?

Rusty: Yes pls.

Bluestar: Okay, follow.

Bluestar: Welcome to Thunderclan, go fight Longtail, okay?

Rusty: Okay bet.

[Megolavania starts playing along with consistent "ouches" from both Rusty and Longtail]

Longtail: Ow, wtf...

Bluestar: Okay cool your collar gone, you look like fire. Your name is now Firepaw.

Firepaw: Okay.

Graypaw: Hello I'm Graypaw, I will show you around Firepaw. There is Darkstripe, he is ugly, and there is Spottedleaf, she is hot.

Firepaw: You are right, Spottedleaf is pretty hot.

Sandpaw: Omg, you are smelly.

Dustpaw: You suck.

Sandpaw: Yeah, you are such a noob, lmao.

Firepaw: Rude.

Ravenpaw: Guys, Redtail is dead, omg.

Tigerclaw: Yeah, Idk who killed him though. Wait- I mean Oakheart killed him, so I kill Oakheart too.

Bluestar: Sound reasonable to me.

Bluestar: I guess I got to pick a new deputy, Lionheart will be Thunderclans new-

Tigerclaw: [Internal Screaming]

Firepaw: Oh look, an old decrepit lady, let me take her home with me.

Bluestar: Firepaw wtf, why did you bring an old decrepit lady to our camp?

Firepaw: Its okay, shes pretty chill.

Bluestar: NO, WE NEED MORE FILLER TO MAKE THIS BOOK LONGER, SO SHE WILL MAKE YOU DO TASKS FOR FIVE MONTHS.

Firepaw: Wtf.

Bluestar: Oh no, Lionheart is dead. Tigerclaw, you will be Thunderclans new Deputy, because I am dumb af.

[Wii Sports bowling strike sound effect plays]

Ravenpaw: Oh this bad, this very bad. Omg, oh no.

Firepaw: But why?

Ravenpaw: Because Tigerclaw killed Redtail, you noob.

Graypaw: Okay, we will put you in that barn, where you will be safe from Tigerclaw.

Ravenpaw: Okay yay.

Firepaw: Okay bye.

Bluestar: Oh no, Spottedleaf is dead and the old decrepit lady is gone.

Frostfur: The old decrepit lady killed Spottedleaf and took my children, we must get her!

Firepaw: Oh no, Yellowfang would never do that!

Clawface: That because it was me.

Firepaw: Die, you killed Spottedleaf and she was hot.

Bluestar: Good job for killing that noob, you will now be Fireheart and Graystripe.

Fireheart: EPIC SAUCE!!!