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  • - There are only two kinds of people

  • who do not experience painful emotions.

  • The first kind are the psychopaths.

  • The second kind are dead.

  • (bell tolls)

  • (mournful music)

  • There is a false understanding or expectation

  • that a happy life means being happy all the time.

  • No.

  • Learning to accept, and even embrace painful emotions

  • is an important part of a happy life.

  • And the study of painful emotions is an important part

  • of the field of happiness studies.

  • My name is Tal Ben Shahar.

  • I'm a student and teacher in the field of happiness studies.

  • And my most recent book is "Happier, No Matter What".

  • There is a very important concept that was introduced

  • by Nassim Taleb.

  • And that is antifragility.

  • Antifragility is essentially resilience 2.0.

  • Resilience 1.0 is when we put pressure on a system.

  • After the pressure is lifted, that system goes back

  • to its original form.

  • Antifragility takes this idea a step further.

  • You put pressure on a system.

  • It actually grows bigger, stronger.

  • We see antifragile systems all around us and within us.

  • For example, our muscular system,

  • we go to the gym and we lift weights.

  • We're putting pressure on our muscles.

  • What happens as a result, we actually grow stronger.

  • We're an antifragile system.

  • On the psychological level, you know what that's called?

  • PTG, post traumatic growth.

  • So where post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD,

  • is about breaking down,

  • post traumatic growth is about growing stronger

  • as a result of pressure of stress.

  • It's antifragility.

  • The role of the science of happiness

  • is to teach us what conditions

  • we can put in place to increase the likelihood

  • of growing from hardship.

  • Now, there is a paradox when it comes to pursuing happiness.

  • (bright music)

  • On the one hand, we know that happiness is a good thing,

  • whether in and of itself, or as a means toward other ends.

  • At the same time, we also know from research

  • by Iris Moss and others,

  • that people who say to themselves,

  • "Happiness is important for me, I want to pursue it,"

  • those individuals actually end up being less happy.

  • In fact, they're more likely to experience depression.

  • So the paradox is that on the one hand,

  • happiness is clearly a good thing.

  • On the other hand,

  • valuing it as a good thing is problematic.

  • So what do we do?

  • The way to resolve this paradox

  • is that we pursue happiness indirectly.

  • Think about sunlight.

  • So if I look at the sun directly,

  • it's going to hurt my eyes.

  • However, if I break down sunlight into its elements,

  • into its constituents,

  • I can look at the colors of the rainbow.

  • So I'm indirectly looking at the sunlight,

  • enjoying it, savoring it.

  • In the same way, pursuing happiness directly

  • can cause more harm than good.

  • But breaking it down into its elements

  • can lead us to enjoy the indirect pursuit of happiness,

  • and by extension, to raise our overall levels of happiness.

  • What are the metaphorical colors of the rainbow

  • when it comes to happiness?

  • Here we have what I've come to call the SPIRE model.

  • And it can trigger the antifragile system.

  • SPIRE is an acronym that stands

  • for spiritual, physical, intellectual,

  • relational, and finally, emotional well-being.

  • Spirituality is about finding a sense of meaning

  • and purpose in life, at work and at home.

  • If you wake up in the morning with a purpose,

  • you're more likely to overcome barriers.

  • When it comes to physical wellbeing,

  • The most important idea to look at is stress,

  • the silent killer.

  • In the United States, more than half of the employees

  • do not use up their vacation time.

  • And even those that do, close to half are still tethered

  • to their work.

  • The problem is not the stress,

  • it's the lack of recovery.

  • With intellectual wellbeing, there's research showing

  • that people who are curious, who ask questions

  • are not just happier,

  • they also live longer.

  • Another important element is not just asking questions,

  • it's deeply engaging with material.

  • It can be text, a work of art, even nature.

  • Relational wellbeing is very important.

  • The number one predictor of happiness is quality time

  • we spend with people we care about and who care about us.

  • And it turns out the number one condition

  • that we can put in place

  • to increase the likelihood of antifragility

  • of growing through hardship

  • is the quality of our relationships.

  • Finally, emotional wellbeing.

  • So embracing painful emotions is critical,

  • but how do we then cultivate pleasurable ones?

  • Specifically, the emotion of gratitude.

  • Cicero talked about, "Gratitude is the mother

  • of all virtues."

  • When we appreciate the good in our life, we have more of it.

  • So happiness is much more than pleasure.

  • Happiness is wholebeing.

  • These five elements together create

  • that sunlight, happiness.

  • I don't think there is a point before which one

  • is unhappy after which one is happy.

  • Rather, happiness resides on a continuum.

  • It's a lifelong journey.

  • And knowing that, we can have realistic

  • rather than unrealistic expectations about what is possible.

  • I do not think that things necessarily happen for the best.

  • However, we can learn to make the best

  • of things that happen.

  • (bright orchestral music)

  • - [Announcer] To learn even more

  • from the world's biggest thinkers,

  • get Big Think+ for your business.

- There are only two kinds of people

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Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile | Tal Ben-Shahar | Big Think

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    PW に公開 2023 年 05 月 14 日
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