Thewordtrauma, meaning a terribleeventwelivethroughthatcannotberemembered, butwhichgeneratespainfulrelatedsymptoms, capturesanacuteparadoxinourrelationshiptoourownhistories.
butwe'llbesincerelyunabletoremember a momentthatsamedaywhenourtroubledfatherabruptlylosthistemperoveranapparenttrivialityandfromnowhereslappedusextremelyhardacrossthecheekandleftustowalkhomealone.
Thememoryretrievingpartofourmindsislikeaneyethatclenchesshutinthepresenceof a flashandclosesdownwhenaskedtoarchiveandthenrecoverincidentsofintensefuryorterror, ridiculeorshame.
Yetwhatdefines a traumaisnotsomuchanobjectivescoreon a scaleofawfulnessas a subjectiveimpressionthatanincidentistoodifficultforustomakesenseofistoomuchatoddswithourmodelsofrealityandposestogreaterrisktoourhopesofourselvesandthosewewanttolove.
Wemaynotrememberourmother's terrifyingcompetitiveness, butitssubmergedpresenceiswhathasbredinus, a deleteriouslee, shymannerand a habitofremovingourselvesfromanypositionwherewemaytriumphandbeadmiredbyothers.
Thewordtrauma, meaning a terribleeventwelivethroughthatcannotberemembered, butwhichgeneratespainfulrelatedsymptoms, capturesanacuteparadoxinourrelationshiptoourownhistories.