EVERYBODY.

すべての人に。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

ジョン・バチステに挨拶しよう

JON, HOW ARE YOU?

JON, HOW ARE YOU?

>> Jon: MAN, YOU KNOW, I'M PROFOUNDLY DISAPPOINTED BUT NOT

>> ジョン俺は失望したが、そうではない。

SURPRISED.

SURPRISED。

>> Stephen: NO, SAME HERE.

>> スティーブンいや、ここも同じだ

DEEPLY SADDENED.

深くサッドネスされている。

DEEPLY SADDENED BY THE EVENTS OF YESTERDAY.

DEEPLY SADDENED BY THE EVENTS OF YESTERDAY.

>> Jon: IT'S -- IT'S SOMETHING THAT I HOPE DOESN'T OVERSHADOW

>> ジョンそれは... それは... それは... それは... それは... それは... それは.... それは....

WHAT HAPPENED IN GEORGIA.

ジョージアで起きたこと

>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, WE WERE GOING TO SPEND MOST OF LAST

>> 私たちは最後の大半を過ごすつもりでした。

NIGHT TALKING ABOUT THE HISTORIC, A, FLIP OF THE STATE

歴史的な州のフリップを語る夜

TOTALLY AND THE FACT THAT RAPHAEL WARNOCK IS THE FIRST

TOTALLY AND THE FACT THAT RAPHAEL WARNOCK IS THE FIRST

AFRICAN-AMERICAN TO REPRESENT GEORGIA EVER IN THE SENATE.

上院でジョージア州を代表するアフリカ系アメリカ人。

( APPLAUSE ) IN THE SENATE.

( APPLAUSE ) 上院で。

>> Jon: YES, RIGHT.

>> ジョンはい、そうですね。

>> Stephen: THE PASTOR OF EBENEZER BAPTIST CHURCH!

>> スティーブンエベネザーバプテスト教会の牧師さん!

>> Jon: YES, THIS IS MONUMENTAL.

>> ジョン。はい、これはMONUMENTALです。

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE OVERSHADOWED OR OVERLOOKED IN

これは、過大評価されても見過ごされても仕方のないことなのですが...

ANY WAY.

どんな方法でも

BUT WHAT HAPPENED AT THE CAPITOL IS SO DISHEARTENING, I JUST WANT

でも、国会議事堂での出来事はあまりにも悲惨で、私はどうしても欲しくなります。

TO KNOW WHAT THAT KIND OF PRIVILEGE FEELS LIKE, THE

その種の特権がどのようなものかを知るために、そのように感じます。

AUDACITY TO NOT EVEN HIDE YOURSELF.

AUDACITY TO NOT EVEN HIDE YOURSELF.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> スティーブンああ

WHAT IS THAT?

それは何だ？

>> Stephen: I HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY IN D.C., FROM A BIG

>> スティーブン: 私は大所帯の出身で、ワシントンに多くの家族がいます。

FAMILY, A LOT OF THEM IN D.C., AND A COUPLE WERE DOWN IN D.C.

家族で ワシントンに大勢 そして一組がワシントンにいた

TODAY AND THEY SENT ME BACK A PHOTOGRAPH RIGHT AT DUSK OF THE

TODAY AND THEY SENT ME BACK A PHOTOGRAPH RIGHT AT DUSK OF THE

CAPITOL BUILDING, ALL LIT UP IN THE BACKGROUND.

キャピタルビル、背景にはすべてのライトアップされています。

>> Jon: WHOO!

>> ジョン：WHOO!

MAN...

MAN...

>> Stephen: ALWAYS MOVING.

>> スティーブン常に移動しています。

ON ANY DAY YOU COME AROUND A CORNER IN D.C. TORE THE TRAIN

ON ANY DAY YOU COME AROUND A CORNER IN D.C. TORE THE TRAIN

STATION AND SEE THE CAPITOL BUILDING, IT'S VEG MOTTO SEE.

駅を出て、国会議事堂を見て、それはベグモットを見てください。

WHOEVER'S IN GOVERNMENT OR IN POWER, THAT SIGHT IS INCREDIBLY

政府や権力者が誰であろうと、その目は信じられないほどのものです。

MOVING TO SEE.

見るために移動する。

BUT THEY SENT ME A LITTLE NOTE TO SAY WE'RE DOWN HERE, JUST

BUT THEY SENT ME A LITTLE NOTE TO SAY WE'RE DOWN HERE, JUST

WANT TO SEE IF SHE'S OKAY.

彼女が大丈夫かどうか確認したい。

SHE'S DOING ALL RIGHT.

SHE'S DOING ALL RIGHT.

AND I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DO ALL RIGHT.

AND I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DO ALL RIGHT.

BUT WE'VE GOT TO KEEP THAT LOVE IN OUR HEART FOR OUR SHARED

でも、私たちはその愛を心の中に持っていなければならない。

VALUES, OUR SHARED LOVE OF FREEDOM, AND OUR SHARED ABILITY

価値観、私たちが共有する自由への愛、私たちが共有する能力

TO SETTLE OUR GRIEVOUS BY DISAGREEING AT THE BALLOT BOX,

投票箱に反対することで、私たちのグリーヴォスを落ち着かせることができます。

NOT WITH BULLETS.

NOT WITH BULLETS.

>> Jon: WHO GETS THE MOST VOTES WINS, THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

>> ジョン最も多くの投票を得た者が勝つ、それが仕組みだ。

WE CAN FIGHT UP UNTIL THE LAST VOTE, BUT AFTER THAT WE MOVE

WE CAN FIGHT UP UNTIL THE LAST VOTE, BUT AFTER THAT WE MOVE

FORWARD TOGETHER.

FORWARD TOGETHER.

THAT'S IT.

それだけだ

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

これがその仕組みです。

>> Stephen: JON, DO YOU HAVE ANY MUSIC FOR THE MOMENT?

>> Stephen: JON, この瞬間のために何か音楽を持っていますか？

>> Jon: WELL, YOU KNOW, GEORGIA WAS SWINGIN'.

>> ジョン: WELL, YOU KNOW, GEORGIA WAS SWINGINGIN'.

IT DON'T MEAN A THING.

それは意味がない

♪♪♪ ♪ IF IT AIN'T GOT THAT SWING ♪

♪♪♪♪ IF IT AIN'T GOT THAT SWING ♪

( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S WHERE MY MIND IS AT.

( LAUGHTER ) それが私の心の在り処です。

♪♪♪ YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

♪♪♪♪言ってることわかる？

>> Jon: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

>> ジョンジョン・バティステ、everybody.

THANK YOU, JON.

THANK YOU, JON.

>> Stephen: YES, INDEED.

>> スティーブン：はい。

LATER ON.

後ほど。

LATER ON.

後ほど。

>> Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME

>> スティーブン皆さん、私は多くの時間を費やしています。

CAREFULLY SOLDERING THE MOST TOPICAL SUPER-CONDUCTIVE CIRCUIT

CAREFULLY SOLDERING THE MOST TOPICAL SUPER-CONDUCTIVE CIRCUIT

BOARDS, CRAFTING THE NEWSIEST LIGHTWEIGHT CARBON FIBER LIMBS

BOARDS, CRAFTING THE NEWSIEST LIGHTWEIGHT CARBON FIBER LIMBS

STUDYING HUMAN MOVEMENT PATTERNS, AND BALANCING

人間の運動パターンを研究し、バランスをとる

PRECISION INTERNAL GYROSCOPES TO CREATE THE CUTTING-EDGE

最先端を創造する精密内部ジャイロスコープ

STATE-OF-THE-ART BOSTON DYNAMICS ROBOT THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

STATE-OF-THE-ART BOSTON DYNAMICS ROBOT THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

BUT SOMETIMES, I LIKE TO SNORT SOME BATH SALTS, BREAK IN TO AN

でもたまには、入浴剤をすすったり、休憩したりするのが好きなんです。

ABANDONED TOYS-R-US, DIG THROUGH THE BIN OF DEFECTIVE REJECTS,

捨てられたトイザらス 欠陥品のビンを掘るんだ

AND GLUE SOME BUSTED PARTS TOGETHER TO CREATE THE DEMENTED

潰れたパーツを接着して デメントを作ります

FRANKEN-FURBY OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

FRANKEN-FURBY OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

"QUARANTINEWHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "A HARVARD

"クァランタイン・ワイヤレス！"QUARANTINE-WHILE「A HARVARD

PROFESSOR HAS CLAIMED IN HIS NEW BOOK THAT ALIEN DEBRIS PASSED

PROFESSOR HAS CLAIMED IN HIS NEW BOOK THAT ALIEN DEBRIS PASSED

NEAR EARTH IN 2017," AND THAT THE OBJECT ACTUALLY "COULD HAVE

2017年に地球に接近したこと」と、物体が実際に「あった可能性」があることを示した。

BEEN ALIEN SPACE JUNK."

"エイリアンの宇宙人"

I DON'T KNOW.

私は知らない

ALIEN GARBAGE SOUNDS A LITTLE FAR-FETCHED.

ALIEN GARBAGE SOUNDS A LITTLE FAR-FETCHED.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

見てみよう

WHOA!

うわああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GARBAGE, BUT THAT DEFINITELY APPEARS TO

衣料品かどうかは分からないが、 明らかにそう見える。

BE SOMEONE'S JUNK.

誰かのジャンクになれ

PLEASE, HAVE YOUR ALIEN SPAYED OR NEUTERED.

PLEASE, HAVE YOUR ALIEN SPAYED OR NEUTERED.

NOT COOL, ALIENS.

クールじゃないわ、エイリアン。

THAT IS A STRAIGHT-UP INTERSTELLAR PENIS PIC.

これはストレートアップのインターステラーペニスの写真です。

WE'RE NOT YOUR GALACTIC BOOTY CALL, OKAY?

WE'RE NOT YOUR GALACTIC BOOTY CALL, OKAY?

REMINDS ME OF THAT SCENE IN "ARRIVAL."

"到着 "のシーンを思い出すわ

( GROWLING ) ( HEAVY BREATHING )

( GROWLING ) ( HEAVY BREATHING )

>> STEPHEN: THE HARVARD PROFESSOR, AVI LOEB, HERE,

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

ADDED-- AND AGAIN, HE IS A HARVARD PROFESSOR-- "WE'RE

またしても彼はハーバード大学の教授で "私たちは

PROBABLY NOT ALONE, AND MOREOVER WE'RE PROBABLY NOT THE SHARPEST

ひとりぼっちではないし、いつのまにか私たちはシャープではなくなっている

COOKIE IN THE JAR."

COOKIE IN THE JAR."

SO EITHER THIS GUY SHARPENS HIS COOKIES, OR HE IS NOT

SO EITHER THIS GUY SHARPENS HIS COOKIES, OR HE IS NOT

THE BRIGHTEST BULB SHORT OF A SIX-PACK.

THE BRIGHTEST BULB SHORT OF A SIX-PACK。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, A NEW BURP-CATCHING MASK FOR COWS

QUARANTINE-WHILE, A NEW BURP-CATCHING MASK FOR COWS

COULD SLOW DOWN CLIMATE CHANGE.

COULD SLOW DOWN CLIMATE CHANGE.

AND AS SOMEONE WHOSE MASK HAS BEEN CATCHING MY BURPS ALL YEAR,

AND AS SOMEONE WHOSE MASK HAS BEEN CATCHING MY BURPS ALL YEAR,

LET ME SAY TO THE COWS IN ADVANCE-- I'M SO SORRY.

LET ME SAY TO THE COWS IN ADVANCE-- I'M SO SORRY.

THE MASKS ARE DESIGNED TO REDUCE METHANE, A POWERFUL GREENHOUSE

THE MASKS ARE DESIGNED TO REDUCE METHANE, A POWERFUL GREENHOUSE

GAS EMITTED BY LIVESTOCK.

GAS EMITTED BY LIVESTOCK.

AND SCIENTISTS SAY THE MASK HAS NO IMPACT ON THE ANIMAL'S

そして科学者は、マスクは動物に影響を与えないと言います。

BEHAVIOR AND FEEDING.

行動と食事。

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

BECAUSE THAT SHINY BLACK LEATHER HAS A REAL S&M FLAVOR.

その光沢のあるブラックレザーには、リアルなS&Mの香りがあるからです。

MAKE SURE BESSIE HAS A SAFE WORD.

MAKE SURE BESSIE HAS A SAFE WORD.

(WHISPERED) PUMPKIN PATCH.

（ささやき声）PUMPKIN PATCH.

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN CELEBRITY COUPLE NEWS, KIM KARDASHIAN AND

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN CELEBRITY COUPLE NEWS, KIM KARDASHIAN AND

KANYE WEST ARE GETTING A DIVORCE.

カニエ・ウェストが離婚することになった。

NO, NOT KIM-YAY KAR-WEST-IAN!

いいえ、キム・イエイ・カー・ウエスト・イアンじゃないわ！

KIM-YE-STIAN KARD-WASHYE?

KIM-YE-STIAN KARD-WASHYE?

THEY HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON!

彼らは共通点が多い！

FAME.

フェイム。

AND...

そして...

LOUIS VUITTON SUBMARINES, I THINK?

ルイ・ヴィトンのサブマリンかな？

IT WAS A CLASSIC STORY: BOY MEETS GIRL, GIRL BREAKS INTERNET

IT WAS A CLASSIC STORY: BOY MEETS GIRL, GIRL BREAKS INTERNET

WITH CHAMPAGNE GLASS ON HER BUTT, BOY GETS IN YEARS-LONG

WITH CHAMPAGNE GLASS ON HER BUTT, BOY GETS IN YEARS-LONG

FEUD WITH TAYLOR SWIFT, GIRL STUDIES FOR THE BAR EXAM, BOY

FEUD WITH TAYLOR SWIFT, GIRL STUDIES FOR THE BAR EXAM, BOY

RUNS FOR PRESIDENT AND GIVES GIRL A HOLOGRAM OF HER DEAD

大統領に立候補して、彼女の死のホログラムを女の子に与える。

FATHER AT HER PRIVATE ISLAND BIRTHDAY PARTY DURING A

FATHER AT HER PRIVATE ISLAND BIRTHDAY PARTY DURING A

PANDEMIC...

パンデミック...

IT'S A TALE AS OLD AS TIME.

それは時間のように古い物語です。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, THE 2021 GRAMMYS HAVE BEEN POSTPONED OVER

クオランタイン、一方で2021年グラミー賞の延期が重なっている。

COVID-19 CONCERNS.

COVID-19 CONCERNS.

MEANING THERE'S STILL TIME FOR THEM TO NOMINATE MY SPOKEN WORD

MEANING THERE'S STILL TIME FOR THEM TO NOMINATE MY SPOKEN WORD

ALBUM, "ELEVENTY-ONE LIMERICKS ABOUT HOBBIT BIRTHDAYS."

ALBUM, "ELEVENTY-ONE LIMERICKS ABOUT HOBBIT BIRTHDAYS."

"THERE ONCE WAS A PARTY FOR BILBO.

"かつてビルボのためのパーティーがあった

HE HAD ENOUGH CAKE FOR HIS FILL, THOUGH.

彼はケーキで一杯だったが

SO HE PUT ON HIS RING, AND HAD A HOT, PRIVATE FLING

彼は指輪をはめて、熱くてプライベートな関係を持った。

WITH A 13-INCH-LONG PLASTIC"-- A AND I'M BEING TOLD WE CAN'T

"13インチの長さのプラスチックで" "できないと言われている

FINISH THIS POEM ON CBS.

CBSでこの詩を完成させてください。

DON'T SNUB ME AGAIN, ACADEMY.

DON'T T SNUB ME AGAIN, ACADEMY.

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN THE COMPLEX WORLD OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS,

複雑な外交の世界でのクオランタイン・ウェイレ。

DENMARK HAS LAUNCHED A CHILDREN'S TV SHOW ABOUT A MAN

デンマーク、ある男を題材にした子供向けテレビ番組を開始

WITH GIANT PENIS.

WITH GIANT PENIS.

WHO LOOKS LIKE THIS.

誰がこれに似ているのか

GOOD GOD, I FOUND WALDO!

ワルドを見つけた！

AND I REALLY WISH I HADN'T.

そうしなかったことを願うよ

I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS MORE INAPPROPRIATE FOR KIDS TO SEE,

子供が見るにはどれがもっと不適当なのかわからない。

THAT THIS GUY HAS A PREHENSILE PEEN OR THAT HE'S USING IT TO

この男は前駆性のおしっこをしていたか、それを使っていたか

DUMP LIGHTER FLUID ON A BARBECUE.

バーベキューにライターの液体を落とす。

BUDDY, YOU'RE GOING TO GRILL YOUR WIENER!

相棒、お前のウィーナーを焼こうとしている！

ALSO, GOT TO SAY, THAT ONESIE MUST TAKE FOREVER TO PUT ON.

あと、言っておくけど、ワンピースは着るのに時間がかかるんだ。

THE CHARACTER'S PENIS IS SO LONG AND VERSATILE THAT IT CAN

キャラクターのペニスは、それができるほど長くて可変性があります。

PERFORM RESCUE OPERATIONS, ETCH MURALS, HOIST A FLAG AND EVEN

救助活動を行い、傷を彫り、旗を掲揚し、さらには

STEAL ICE-CREAM FROM CHILDREN.

子供からアイスクリームを盗む

I'M GUESSING THAT'S A SHORT EPISODE: "HEY, GIVE MY KIDS BACK

それは短いエピソードだと思う 「おい、子供を返せ」

THEIR ICE CR-- YOU KNOW WHAT?

彼らの氷のCR...知ってる？

IT'S ALL YOURS."

IT'S ALL YOURS."

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S GOOD.

JIMMY, RUN.

JIMMY、走って

THE SHOW IS GETTING A LOT OF CRITICISM, BUT ONE PSYCHOLOGIST

このショーは多くの批判を受けていますが、心理学者は一人です。

THINKS THE CONCERN IS UNNECESSARY, SAYING, THE

THINKS THE CONCERN IS UNNECESSARY, SAYING, THE

CHARACTER "JOHN DILLERMAND TALKS TO CHILDREN AND SHARES THEIR WAY

キャラクター「ジョン・ディラーマンドが子供たちに語りかけ、その方法を伝える

OF THINKING-- AND KIDS DO FIND GENITALS FUNNY."

"考えることの...そして子供はジェネタルが面白いと思う"

JUST BECAUSE KIDS THINK SOMETHING'S FUNNY DOESN'T

JUST BECAUSE KIDS THINK SOMETHING'S FUNNY DOESN'T

MEAN IT'S A GOOD IDEA FOR TV.

テレビには良いアイデアだよ

OTHERWISE, THE MOST SUCCESSFUL KIDS' SHOW WOULD'VE BEEN "MR.

OTHERWISE, THE MOST SUCCESSFUL KIDS' SHOW WOULD'VE BEEN "MR.

ROGERS GETS WRACKED IN THE SACK."

"ロジャースは袋に入れられた"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, "JEFF BEZOS JUST NAMED A HUGE ROCKET

QUARANTINE-WHILE、「JEFF BEZOSは巨大なロケットを指名しました。

RECOVERY SHIP AFTER HIS MOM," JACLYN.

RECOVERY SHIP AFTER HIS MOM," JACLYN.

GREAT FOR JEFF BEZOS.

ジェフ・ベゾスには最適だ

SUCKS IF YOU'RE HIS BROTHER, MARK BEZOS.

君が彼の兄弟なら最悪だ マーク・ベゾス

(AS MOM) "THANK YOU FOR PUTTING MY NAME

(AS MOM) "THANK YOU FOR PUTTING MY NAME

ON YOUR GIANT SPACESHIP BOAT, JEFFREY.

巨大な宇宙船に乗って ジェフレイ

AND WHAT DID YOU GET ME, MARK?

私に何をくれたの、マーク？

OOH, YANKEE CANDLE?

おー、ヤンキーキャンドゥル？

THAT'S...

それは...

GOOD."

GOOD."

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU'RE ONE OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU'RE ONE OF MILLIONS OF AMERICANS

FIGHTING TO STAVE OFF FINANCIAL RUIN, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS:

FIGHTING TO STAVE OFF FINANCIAL RUIN, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS:

"WITH A NET WORTH OF MORE THAN $185 BILLION, ELON MUSK IS NOW

"WITH A NET WORTH OF MORE THAN $185 BILLION, ELON MUSK IS NOW

THE RICHEST PERSON IN THE WORLD, PASSING JEFF BEZOS."

"世界で最も裕福な人物 ジェフ・ベゾスを追い越して"

NEAT!

いいね！

HE CAN PUT HIS MOM'S NAME ON HIS ROCKETS!

彼は母親の名前をロケットにつけられるんだ！

THEN, JEFF'S MOM'S ROCKET-CATCHING BOAT CAN CATCH

すると、ジェフのママのロケットキャッチボートが釣れます。

THEM WHILE ALSO CATCHING JEFF'S ROCKETS AND THEY CAN HAVE A

THEM WHILE ALSO CATCHING JEFF'S ROCKETS AND THEY CAN HAVE A

BILLIONAIRE SPACE-ROCKET BOAT-CATCHING PARTY, AND THIS

ビリオネア宇宙ロケットボートキャッチャーパーティー、そしてこれは

COUNTRY IS SO SCREWED.

この国は、とても傷ついています。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, JAPAN IS SEEKING TO BOOST ITS BIRTHRATE

クオランチン-一方、日本は出生率の向上を模索している。

BY FUNDING THE USE OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO HELP MATCH

マッチングを支援するための人工知能の使用に資金を提供することで

LONELY HEARTS.

LONELY HEARTS.

THAT'LL BE FUN TO TELL THE KIDS.

THAT'LL BE FUN TO TELL THE KIDS.

"DAD, WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MOM?"

"DAD, WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH MOM?"

"WELL, SON, I KNEW WHEN THE GOVERNMENT ROBOT SAID SO."

"WELL, SON, 私は政府のロボットがそう言った時に知っていた"

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RACHEL BROSNAHAN.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH RACHEL BROSNAHAN.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪