OUR "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE"

OUR "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE"

EXTRAVAGANZ-ERT.

EXTRAVAGANZ-ERT.

I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING ALONG AT HOME TO FIND OUT IF

I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING ALONG AT HOME TO FIND OUT IF

YOU'RE MORE OF A TOM HANKS OR A MERYLL STREEP.

君はトム・ハンクスかメリル・ストリープだな

AND IF IT TURNS OUT YOU'RE EITHER ONE OF THEM, COME

そして、もしあなたがどちらかであることが判明したら、来てください。

BACK ON MY SHOW!

BACK ON MY SHOW!

I'M A HUGE FAN.

I'M A HUGE FAN.

NEXT UP: THE ONE, AND PRESUMABLY ONLY, GEORGE CLOONEY.

次ページ：唯一の、そして唯一の、ジョージ・クルーニー。

GEORGE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, ALWAYS A PLEASURE,

GEORGE、ここにいてくれて本当にありがとう、いつも楽しいよ。

SECOND TIME I'VE HAD YOU IN SIX YEARS.

SECOND TIME I'VE HAD YOU IN SIX YEARS.

THE PACE IS REALLY PICKING UP.

ペースは本当に回復しています。

I RARELY GET TO TALK WITH YOU.

I RARELY GET TO TALK WITH YOU.

AND IN TV INTERVIEWS, IT'S SOMETIMES HARD TO GET TO THE

そして、テレビのインタビューでは、それは時々取得するのが難しいです。

CORE OF A GUEST IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

短期間でのゲストのコア。

BUT, OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S MY JOB.

でも、はっきり言って、それが私の仕事です。

SO WHAT WE'VE DEVISED HERE AT THE SHOW IS A WAY TO GET THE

SO WHAT WE'VE DEVISED HERE AT THE SHOW IS A WAY TO GET THE

ESSENCE OF A GUEST IN JUST 15 QUESTIONS.

ESSENCE OF A GUEST IN JUST 15 QUESTIONS.

IT'S CALLED THE "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."

IT'S CALLED THE "COLBERT QUESTIONNAIRE."

GEORGE CLOONEY, ARE YOU READY TO SIT FOR THE QUESTIONNAIRE?

GEORGE CLOONEY, ARE YOU READY TO SIT FOR THE QUESTIONNAIRE?

>> I AM, STEPHEN.

>> 私は、スティーブンです。

I'M READY.

準備できました

>> Stephen: OKAY, HERE WE GO.

>> スティーブンよし、行くぞ。

NUMBER ONE, GEORGE CLOONEY WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?

ナンバーワン、GEORGE CLOONEY 最高のサンドウィッチは？

>> I LIKE A HAM SANDWICH.

>> >> I LIKE A HAM SANDWICH.

>> Stephen: JUST-- JUST HAM?

>> スティーブン: JUST -- JUST HAM?

YOU DON'T WANT-- >> OH, YOU MEAN THE WHOLE THING.

要らないって... >> ああ、それは全体のことだよ

HAM, LETTUCE, TOMATO, A LITTLE MUSTARD ON IT, A LITTLE TOASTED.

ハム、レタス、トマト、マスタード少々、トースト少々。

MAYBE A POTATO BREAD.

MAYBE A POTATO BREAD.

>> Stephen: VERY SIMILAR ANSWER TO MR. HANKS.

>> スティーブン非常によく似た回答をしていますハンクス

OKAY, WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW

OKAY, WHAT'S THE ONE THING YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW

OUT?

OUT？

>> UHM...

>> UHM...

MY FLOWBEE, APPARENTLY.

私のフロービーだよ

I SHOULD THROW IT OUT.

I SHOULD THROW IT OUT.

>> Stephen: WUF BEEN DOING YOUR OWN LANDSCAPING?

>> スティーブン自分で地鎮祭をしていたのか？

>> FOR A WHILE NOW.

>>しばらくの間、今のうちに。

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL, GEORGE?

>> スティーブン：一番怖い動物は何？

>> SCARIEST ANIMAL.

>> >> 一番怖い動物。

IN THE SAFARI WORLD, WHICH I DID FINALLY GO ON ONE OF THESE?

サファリの世界で、私は最終的にこれらのいずれかに行くことができましたか？

THE HIPPO.

THE HIPPO.

NOBODY-- THE HIPPO IS THE ONE THAT WILL GET YOU.

NOBODY-- THE HIPPO IS THE ONE THAT WILL GET YOU.

>> Stephen: YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.

>> スティーブンああ、その通りだ。

>> THE HIPPO.

>> THE HIPPO.

>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES, GEORGE?

>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES, GEORGE?

>> OH, APPLES.

>> OH, APPLES.

>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON A

>> スティーブンピーナッツバターをかけることができるので、当然のことながら

SLICE OF APPLE.

リンゴのスライス。

>> YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH AN APPLE.

>> YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH AN APPLE.

YOU CAN MAKE A BONG OUT OF AN APPLE.

あなたは、リンゴからボンネットを作ることができます。

( LAUGHTER ).

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: THANK YOU!

>> スティーブンありがとうございます！

THANK YOU!

THANK YOU!

YOU KNOW-- >> TELL THAT TO YOUR KIDS.

YOU KNOW-- >> TELL THAT TO YOUR KIDS.

>> Stephen: I THINK IT'S WAY TOO LATE.

>> スティーブンもう手遅れだわ

OKAY, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR AUTOGRAPH?

OKAY, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR AUTOGRAPH?

>> YES.

>> ＹＥＳ！＞＞＞＞＞＞＞＞ＹＥＳ

MANY PEOPLE.

多くの人が

I WAS-- GREW UP IN CINCINNATI.

私は...シンシナティで育った

I WAS A HUGE CINCINNATI REDS BASEBALL FAN.

私は大のシンシナティ・レッズファンでした。

I HAVE JOHNNY BENCH'S SIGNATURE.

I HAVE JOHNNY BENCH'S SIGNATURE.

I HAVE JOE MORGAN'S SIGNATURE.

I HAVE JOE MORGAN'S SIGNATURE.

I HAVE PETE ROSE'S SIGNATURE ON BASEBALL.

I HAVE PETE ROSE'S SIGNATURE ON BASEBALL.

>> Stephen: WOW, WOW.

>> スティーブンわーい、わーい。

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE, GEORGE?

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN WE DIE, GEORGE?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>>知らないんだよ。

I WAS ALWAYS, FOR ME, NOT A PARTICULARLY RELIGIOUS GUY.

私はいつも私にとって、特に宗教的な男ではありませんでした。

I WAS RAISED CATHOLIC, AS UPPER.

私はカトリックで育てられました

AND I-- I EVENTUALLY SORT OF MOVED AWAY FROM THAT FOR ME.

AND I-- I EVENTUALLY SORT OF MOVED AWAY FROM THAT FOR ME.

NOT QUESTIONING OTHER PEOPLE'S RELIGION, JUST QUESTIONIN MY

NOT QUESTIONING OTHER PEOPLE'S RELIGION, JUST QUESTIONIN MY

OWN SORT OF BELIEFS.

信念の一種を持っている。

BUT AS I GET OLDER, I START RENEGOTIATING THINGS A LITTLE

しかし、年を取るにつれて、私は少しずつ物事を再検討し始めます。

BIT.

ｂｉｔ．

AND I... AND YOU START THINKING, WELL, MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING.

そして私は...何かあるかもしれないと 考え始めるんだ

( LAUGHS ) MAYBE THERE'S A-- MAYBE THERE'S

( LAUGHS ) MAYBE THERE'S A-- MAYBE THERE'S

A BAR SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU CAN JUST HANG.

ぶら下がっていられるどこかのバー。

>> Stephen: I LIKE THAT.

>> スティーブン私はそれが好きです。

>> I'M RENEGOTIATING AS A AGE.

>> 俺は行為としてレネゴしている。

>> Stephen: ANOTHER GOOD.

>> スティーブンANOTHER GOOD.

FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.

FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.

>> FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE.

>> 好きなアクション映画

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME THINK QUICKLY, WHAT'S ONE I JUST ABSOLUTELY

ALL RIGHT, LET ME THINK QUICKLY, WHAT'S ONE I JUST ABSOLUTELY

LOVE.

LOVE.

I STILL DIG "DIEHARD AM SM BRUCE WILLIS WAS SO GREAT IN THAT

私は今でも "DIEHARD AM SM BRUCE WILLIS WAS SO GREAT IN THAT "が大好きです。

SERIES, THE FIRST ONE IN PARTICULAR.

SERIES, THE FIRST ONE IN PARTICULAR.

>> Stephen: SIDE QUESTION, NOT ON THE CARD, IS "DIE HARD" A

>> Stephen: SIDE QUESTION, NOT THE CARD, IS "DIE HARD" Aです。

CHRISTMAS MOVIE?

CHRISTMAS MOVIE?

>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

>> 絶対にありません。

IT IS NOT.

そうではありません。

>> Stephen: WOW, YOU REALIZE THAT IS A CONTROVERSIAL ANSWER.

>> スティーブンそれが難解な答えだとわかっているのか？

>> I KNOW.

知る人ぞ知る、>>1。

BUT IT ISN'T.

でも、そうじゃない。

>> Stephen: IT'S BEEN ESTABLISHED IN THE CANON OF

>> スティーブン: それは、カノンに明記されています。

CHRISTMAS MOVIES, "DIE HARD."

クリスマス・ムービー "DIE HARD"

IF YOU GO TO NETFLIX AND SEARCH "CHRISTMAS MOVIES" I ( BLEEP )

あなたがNETFLIXに行くと検索 "CHRISTMAS MOVIES"、私は（ブリープ）。

NOT, "DIE HARD" WILL BE ONE OF THE ANSWERS.

そうではなく、"DIE HARD "は答えの一つになるでしょう。

>> CHRISTMAS MOVIES ARE FOR THE FAMILY TO GATHER AROUND AND

>> CHRISTMAS MOVIES ARE FOR THE FAMILY TO GATHER AROUND AND

CELEBRATE BEING TOGETHER AND CELEBRATE LIFE AND, YOU KNOW,

CELEBRATE BEING TOGETHER AND CELEBRATE LIFE AND, YOU KNOW,

AND LOVE.

AND LOVE.

"DIE HARD" SAY SPECTACULAR FILM, AS I JUST PICKED IT AS MY ACTION

"DIE HARD "と言えばスペクタキュラー映画だが、私はこれを自分のアクションとして選んだだけだ。

FILM.

フィルム.

BUT "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE" IS YOUR CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

でも、"It's A WONDERFUL LIFE "はあなたのクリスマス映画です。

>> Stephen: ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T WANT TO SIT AROUND WITH

>> スティーブン：あなたは、あなたと一緒に座っていたくないと言っているのですか？

THE WHOLE FAMILY WITH THE KIDS AND GRANDMA AND WATCH HANS

THE WHOLE FAMILY WITH THE KIDS AND GRANDMA AND WATCH HANS

GRUBER FALL OFF OF NOKATOMI PLAZA?

GRUBER FALL OFF OF NOKATOMI PLAZA?

>> I'LL TEA YOU WHY.

>> I'LL TEA YOU WHY.

AND THIS IS AN IMPORTANT THING.

そして、これは重要なことです。

GRANDMA IS DEAD.

GRANDMA IS DEAD.

>> Stephen: THAT WOULD BE DIFFICULT.

>> スティーブンそれは難しいな

>> MAYBE THAT'S THE AFTERLIFE.

>> MAYBE THAT'S THE AFTERLIFE.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?

>> スティーブン好きな香りは？

>> UHM...

>> UHM...

I SUPPOSE WE HAVE-- WHAT'S IT CALLED?

I SUPPOSE WE HAVE-- WHAT'S IT CALLED?

WE HAVE A FLOWER HERE.

WE HAVE A FLOWER HERE.

LAVENDER.

ラベンダー

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> スティーブンいいわよ

>> LAVENDER IS MY FAVORITE SMELL.

>> >> ラベンダーは私のお気に入りの香りです。

WE HAVE LAVENDER ALL AROUND THE HOUSE.

WE HAVE LAVENDER ALL AROUND THE HOUSE.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

信じられないわ

>> Stephen: SUPPOSE TO BE VERY RELAXING.

>> スティーブン：非常にリラックスしていることを前提としています。

LEAST-FAVORITE SMELL?

一番好きじゃない香り？

>> OLD LAVENDER, WHICH WAS THE NAME OF MY FIRST DOG.

>> OLD LAVENDER, WHICH WAS THE NAME OF MY FIRST DOG.

LEAST-FAVORITE SMELL.

一番好きな香り

WELL, LOOK, I WILL BE VERY STRAIGHT WITH YOU.

いいか、いいか、俺は君に正直に言うよ

MY CHILDREN STILL WEAR NAPPIES SOME, NOT ALL THE TIME, NOT

私の子供たちは今でもナッピーを着ています。

DURING THE DAY -- >> Stephen: IN AMERICA, WE

DURING THE DAY -- >> Stephen: IN AMERICA, WE, WE

CALL THEM DIAPERS.

CALL THEM DIAPERS.

IN ENGLAND THEY'RE NAPPIES.

イギリスではナッピーだ

YOU NEED TO BE CONSISTENT, GEORGE.

一貫性が必要なのよ、ジョージ

>> I'M IN ENGLAND RIGHT NOW.

>> I'M IN ENGLAND RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW, WHEN IN ROME.

ローマにいる時には、知っている。

AND I WILL TELL YOU, ONCE THEY GOT ON TO SOLID FOOD, I DON'T

言っておきますが、彼らが固形食に目覚めた時、私はしません。

KNOW WHAT HAPPENS FROM HERE TO HERE, BUT SOMETHING-- I MEAN, IT

ここからここまでの間に何があるか知っているが、何か...つまり、それは...

WAS SHOCKING, THAT SMELL, YOU KNOW.

WAS SHOCKING, THAT SMELL, YOU KNOW.

>> Stephen: I KNOW THAT SMELL.

>> スティーブン：その匂いを知っています。

EXERCISE.

EXERCISE.

WORTH IT?

価値があるか？

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

I DO TEFER DAY.

私は教師の日をやっています。

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> スティーブンいいわよ

FLAT OR SPARKLING?

フラットかスパークリングか？

>> SPARKLING.

>> ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

I LIKE A LITTLE LIFT.

I LITTLE LIFTが好きなんだ

>> Stephen: EXACTLY.

>> スティーブンまさにその通り

THAT'S THE RIGHT ANSWER.

THAT'S THE RIGHT ANSWER.

MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE.

あなたの携帯電話で最も使用されているアプリ。

>> MOST OF THE-USED-- IN L.A., WAZE TO GET AROUND.

>> ロサンゼルスでは、ほとんどの人が 使われているが、周りを回るのに風が吹く。

>> Stephen: GOOD, OKAY.

>> スティーブンよし、わかった。

YOU GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT

一生聴きたい曲が一つあるとしたら何だ？

IS IT?

IS IT?

>> UHM, "ALWAYS."

>> UHM、"ALWAYS "です。

♪ I'LL BE LOVING YOU ALWAYS ♪ WITH A LOVE THAT'S TRUE ALWAYS

♪ I'LL BE BE LOVING YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS ♪ WITH A LOVE THAT'S TRUE ALWAYS

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SONG.

美しい歌です。

IT'S MY MOM AND DAD'S LOVE SONG.

It's MY MOM AND DADAD'S LOVE SONG.

>> Stephen: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF?

>> スティーブン私は何番を考えているの？

>> SEVEN.

>> SEVEN.

>> Stephen: NO.

>> スティーブンNO.

DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

>> CLEANING UP AFTER MY KIDS.

>> CLEANING UP AFTER MY KIDS.

>> Stephen: GEORGE CLOONEY, EVERYBODY.

>> スティーブン：GEORGE CLOONEY, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU, GEORGE.

THANK YOU, GEORGE.

YOU ARE NOW KNOWN.

YOU ARE NOW KNOWN.

CONGRATULATIONS.

CONGRATULATIONS.

>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.

>> THANK YOU FOR THAT.

THANKS AGAIN, GEORGE!

ありがとう、GEORGE!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY THE MOUNTAIN

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY THE MOUNTAIN

GOATS.

GOATS.