WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO "A LATE SHOW."

皆さん、ようこそ "レイトショー "へ

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

あなたのホスト、ステファン・コルバートです。

ONE MORE TIME.

ONE MORE TIME.

WELL, FOLKS, IT'S OUR LAST SHOW OF 2020, AND HOPEFULLY IT'S OUR

さて、皆さん、2020年最後のショーです。

LAST 2020, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN-- AND I'M NOT SURE I DO.

最後の2020年 私の言ってる事が分かるなら... 私は確信がないわ

TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO REVISIT THE YEAR THAT WAS-- AND, BOY,

TONIGHT, WE'RE GOING TO REVISIT THE YEAR THAT WAS-- AND, BOY,

WAS IT-- IN A SPECIAL REPORT >> "2020: THE YEAR THAT TOOK

WAS IT-- IN A SPECIAL REPORT >> "2020: THE YEAR THAT TOOK

YEARS.

YEARS.

WHAT A CLUSTER-FOND LOOK BACK."

WHAT A CLUSTER-FOND LOOK BACK"

>> Stephen: 2020 BROUGHT US SO MUCH: THE CLUMSIEST COUP IN

>> スティーブン: 2020 BROUGHT US SO MUCH: THE CLUMSIEST COUP IN THE CLUMSIEST COUP

HISTORY, THE GLOBAL PANDEMIC, COMMERCIALS FROM DOMINOE'S

歴史、グローバル・パンデミック、ドミノエのコマーシャル

SAYING THEIR PIZZAS WOULD NOW GO RIGHT FROM THE OVEN INTO THE BOX

SAYING THEIR PIZZAS WOULD NOW GO RIGHT FROM THE OVEN INTO THE BOX

WITHOUT ANYONE TOUCHING IT, WHICH REALLY RAISED A LOT OF

誰にも触れられることなく、それは本当に多くの問題を提起しました。

QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THAT ALL WORKED BEFORE.

QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW THAT ALL WORKED BEFORE.

2020 WAS SO BAD, THE TOP ARTIST ON SPOTIFY WAS A MAN SCREAMING

2020年は最悪だった、SPOTIFYのトップアーティストは男が叫んでいた

INTO A PILLOW.

INTO A PILLOW.

HERE'S A STORY YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN: THE PRESIDENT WAS

HERE'S A STORY YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN: THE PRESIDENT WAS

HERE'S A STORY YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN: THE PRESIDENT WAS

HERE'S A STORY YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN: THE PRESIDENT WAS

IMPEACHED.

IMPEACHED。

I'LL RECAP IT IN MY BACK-FOR-A-LIMITED-TIME-ONLY

期間限定でお届けします。

SEGMENT, "DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH."

"ドンと巨人のインピーチ"

>> UH-OH.

>> うわああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

>> Stephen: THE SAGA OF THE PRESIDENT'S IMPEACHMENT BEGINS

>> スティーブン：大統領のインペーブメントのサガが始まる

WITH... WELL, HOW WOULD YOU PUT IT?

ウィズ...どうやって書くんだ？

>> A PERFECT PHONE CALL.

>> 完璧な電話のかけ方。

>> Stephen: YES, OUR PRESIDENT WAS TALKING WITH THE

>> スティーブン：はい、私たちの大統領は、と話していました。

NEWLY-ELECTED PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE, WHO ASKED FOR MILITARY

NEWLY-ELECTED PRESIDENT OF UKRAINE, WHO ASKED FOR MILITARY

ASSISTANCE, AND OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF RESPONDED,

援助を受けて、私たちの最高司令官が応答しました。

"I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO US A FAVOR, THOUGH," WORDS THAT WILL

"お願いがあるんだけど" "お願いがあるんだけど

GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS BEING JUST FINE, FOR SOME REASON.

歴史の中では、何か理由があって、ちょうどいい感じになっています。

THERE WAS ONE THING LACKING FROM THE PRESIDENT'S IMPEACHMENT

大統領のインピーチメントに欠けているものがあった

TRIAL: A TRIAL, BECAUSE THE SENATE VOTED 51-49 NOT TO HEAR

裁判だ上院が51-49で否決したため、裁判です。

WITNESSES.

証人。

IT'S LIKE THE OLD SAYING, "IF A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST AND NO

昔から言われている「森の中に木が落ちても何もしない」というようなものです。

ONE'S AROUND TO HEAR IT, YOU CAN'T PROVE THE TREE BLACKMAILED

誰かがそれを聞くために周りにいる、あなたはブラックメールの木を証明することはできません。

UKRAINE FOR DIRT ON ITS POLITICAL OPPONENT."

"ウクライナの政治的な対立相手のためのダート"

I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE COMMITTING TREE-SON.

つまり、それは木の子の罪を犯していることになる

♪ "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ♪ >> THAT SLAM GOT WOOD!

"GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ♪ >> THAT SLAM GOT WOOD!

>> Stephen: WITHOUT WITNESSES OR EVIDENCE, ON FEBRUARY 5, THE

>> スティーブン証人も証拠もなく、2月5日には

SENATE ACQUITTED THE PRESIDENT OF THE IMPEACHMENT CHARGES.

上院が大統領を買収しました。

AND WITH THE IMPEACHMENT BEHIND HIM, THE PRESIDENT FINALLY HAD

インピーチメントを前にして、大統領はついに手に入れた。

TIME TO FOCUS ON IGNORING THE CORONAVIRUS.

コロナウイルスを無視することに 集中する時間だ

FOR WEEKS, HE SAID IT WAS GOING TO DISAPPEAR LIKE A MIRACLE.

数週間、彼はそれが奇跡のように消えると言っていました。

TURNS OUT, IT WAS THE ECONOMY, BECAUSE BY MARCH 16, THE WHOLE

判明したのは、3月16日までに経済全体が

COUNTRY WAS SHUT DOWN.

国はシャットダウンされました。

I THINK WE'LL ALL REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE THAT DAY, AND EVERY DAY

I THINK WE'LL ALL REMEMBER WHERE WE WERE THAT DAY, AND EVERY DAY

SINCE.

SINCE.

IN THE FIRST WEEKS OF THE LOCKDOWN, NETFLIX'S "TIGER KING"

IN THE FIRST WEEKS OF THE LOCKDOWN, NETFLIX'S "TIGER KING"

POUNCED ON AMERICA'S HEARTS LIKE A CLINICALLY DEPRESSED JUNGLE

アメリカの心を病んだジャングルのように跳ね返した

CAT.

ＣＡＴ．

IT WAS A GRIPPING DOCUMENTARY SERIES ABOUT HOW JOE EXOTIC AND

それはジョー・エクソティックとの関係を描いた感動的なドキュメンタリーシリーズでした。

HIS ARCHNEMESIS, CAROLE BASKIN, SHOULD MAYBE CONSIDER SWITCHING

HIS ARCHNEMESIS, CAROLE BASKIN, SHOULD MAYBE CONSIDER SWITCHING

TO THE SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO.

TO THE SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO.

NOW, WHILE THE PRESIDENT SHFN USING HIS PLATFORM TO TELL

NOW, WHILE THE PRESIDENT SHFN USING HIS PLATFORM TO TELL

AMERICANS TO WEAR MASKS HE INSTEAD GAVE THEM SLIGHTLY LESS

AMERICANS TO WEAR MASKS HE INSTEAD GAVE THEM SLIGHTLY LESS

EFFECTIVE TIPS LIKE THIS.

EFFECTIVE TIPS LIKE THIS.

>> IS THERE A WAY WE CAN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, LIKE

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>

INJECTIONED IN, OR ALMOST A CLEANING.

注入された、またはほとんど洗浄された。

>> Stephen: AH, YES, "DRINK BLEACH" DAY.

>> スティーブンAH、YES、"DRINK BLEACH" DAY。

AND IF YOU HAD FORGOTTEN THAT HAPPENED, IT COULD BE BECAUSE

そのことを忘れていたとしたら、それが原因かもしれません。

YOU FOLLOWED HIS ADVICE.

YOU FOLLOWED HIS ADVICE.

IN THE MIDDLE OF DEALING WITH COVID, ANOTHER CRISIS ROCKED

コヴィドに対処している最中に、別の危機が襲ってきた。

AMERICA: EVEN MORE SHOCKING EXAMPLES OF POLICE KILLING

AMERICA: EVEN MORE SHOCKING EXAMPLES OF POLICE KILLING

INNOCENT AND UNARMED BLACK PEOPLE, INCLUDING GEORGE FLOYD

GEORGE FLOYDを含む、罪のない非武装の黒人。

IN MINNEAPOLIS.

ミネアポリスで

THE CELL PHONE VIDEO OF THAT INCIDENT ENRAGED AMERICA AND LED

その事件の携帯電話のビデオは、アメリカを巻き込み、LEDを導いた。

TO MARCHES EVERY DAY AND NIGHT ACROSS THE COUNTRY, IN BIG

TO MARCHES EVERY DAY AND NIGHT ACROSS THE COUNTRY, IN BIG

CITIES AND SMALL TOWNS.

都市と小さな町。

IN FACT, PEOPLE PROTESTED IN EVERY STATE AND IN

実際には、すべての州で、すべての州で、人々が抗議行動をしました。

WASHINGTON, D.C.

ワシントン D. C.

IT WAS INSPIRING TO SEE AMERICANS IN 2020 COMING

2020年のアメリカ人がやってくるのを見て刺激を受けました。

TOGETHER AND USING THEIR COLLECTIVE VOICE FOR A CAUSE

みんなで協力して声を出し合い、目的のために活動する

SLIGHTLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN "I WANT A HAIRCUT."

"髪を切りたい "よりも重要だ

THE DEMONSTRATIONS GREW OVER THE SUMMER AND INCLUDED PEOPLE FROM

THE DEMONSTRATIONS GREW OVER THE SUMMER AND INCLUDED PEOPLE FROM

EVERY RACE AND ETHNICITY.

あらゆる人種と民族。

IN FACT, BLACK LIVES MATTER MAY BE THE LARGEST MOVEMENT IN U.S.

実際には、黒人の生活の問題は、米国で最も大きな動きであるかもしれません。

HISTORY.

歴史。

AND THAT INCLUDES THE VIETNAM PROTESTS, THE MILLION MAN MARCH,

それはベトナムの抗議デモや百万人の行進も含まれています。

AND THE 1980's SOCIAL MOVEMENT DEMANDING THE LOCATION OF THE

1980年代の社会運動と、その位置を求める社会運動

BEEF.

BEEF（ビーフ）です。

THE PROTESTS WERE OVERWHELMINGLY PEACEFUL, INCLUDING ONE IN FRONT

抗議行動は非常に平和的で、その中には正面からの抗議も含まれていました。

OF THE WHITE HOUSE ON JUNE 1.

OF THE WHITE HOUSE ON JUNE 1.

THEIR PEACEFULNESS DID NOT STOP THE PRESIDENT FROM USING FEDERAL

彼らの平和主義は大統領が連邦政府を利用するのを止めなかった

TROOPS TO ASSAULT PROTESTERS WITH FLASH-BANG EXPLOSIONS AND

TROOPS TO ASSAULT PROTESTERS WITH FLASH-BANG EXPLOSIONS AND

TEAR GAS SO HE COULD CROSS THE STREET FOR A PHOTO OP, HOLDING

ティアガスは、彼が写真のOPのために通りを渡ることができるように、保持しています。

THE BIBLE AWKWARD LEES.

THE BIBLE AWKWARD LEES.

FOR AS JESUS SAID, "IF SOMEONE STRIKES YOU ON THE RIGHT CHEEK,

FOR AS JESUS SAID, "IF SOMEONE STRIKES YOU ON THE RIGHT CHEEK,

TURN TO HIM THE OTHER ONE, ALSO.

もう一人の彼にも目を向けろ

BUT IF SOMEONE COMES BETWEEN YOU AND A PHOTO OP, DADDY GONNA POP

でも、誰かがあなたと写真のOPの間に入ってきたら、パパはポップになります。

OPEN A CAN OF WHOOP ASS!" NO GROUP WAS MORE SUPPORTIVE OF

"バカ野郎の缶詰を開けろ！"これ以上の支持者はいませんでした

THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT THAN N.B.A. PLAYERS, BUT BECAUSE

N.B.A.のプレイヤーよりも、ブラック・ライヴズ・マター・ムーヴメントが、しかし、それが理由です。

OF COVID, HALFWAY THROUGH THEIR SEASON, THEY ALL WENT INTO THE

OF COVID, HALFWAY THROUGH THEIR SEASON, THEY ALL WENT INTO THE

N.B.A. BUBBLE IN ORLANDO.

N.B.A. バブル・イン・オーランド

IT WAS EQUAL PARTS FIERCE COMPETITION AND DISNEY

それは平等なパーツの競争とディズニーだった

SLEEPOVER.

スリープオーバー。

NOW, THIS BUBBLE HAD VERY STRINGENT PROTOCOLS.

このバブルは非常に厳しいプロトコルを持っていました。

PLAYERS WERE ADVISED NOT TO SPIT OR CLEAR THEIR NOSES, WIPE THE

プレイヤーは、唾を吐いたり、鼻をすっきりさせたり、鼻を拭いたりしないように注意されていました。

BALL WITH THEIR JERSEYS, LICK THEIR HANDS, OR TOUCH THEIR

BALL WITH THEIR JERSEYS, LICK THEIR HANDS, OR TOUCH THEIR

MOUTHS UNNECESSARILY WHILE PLAYING.

MOUTHS UNNECESSARILY WHILE PLAYING.

THAT, OF COURSE, CUT DOWN ON THE TIME-HONORED DEFENSIVE TACTIC OF

当然のことながら、時の名高いディフェンス戦術である

WET WILLY.

WET WILLY.

BUT ENOUGH BAD NEWS ABOUT THE GLOBAL PANDEMIC.

BUT ENOUGH BAD NEWS ABOUT THE GLOBAL PANDEMIC.

THERE WAS ALSO BAD NEWS ABOUT THE WEATHER.

THERE WAS ALSO BAD NEWS ABOUT THE WEATHER.

IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST ACTIVE HURRICANE SEASONS ON RECORD.

それは記録上、最も活動的なハリケーンシーズンの一つでした。

IN FACT, THE NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER RAN OUT OF ASSIGNED NAMES

IN FACT, THE NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER RAN OUT OF ASSIGNED NAMES

IN THE MIDDLE OF SEPTEMBER AND HAD TO RESORT TO USING GREEK

9月の半ばになって グリー語を使わざるを得なくなった

LETTERS.

ＬＥＴＴＴＥＲＳ。

THEN THEY STARTED RUNNING OUT OF GREEK LETTERS AND HAD TO RESORT

グリー文字が足りなくなってきたので、やむを得ず、頼まざるを得なかった。

TO HURRICANE WINGDINGS.

TO HURRICANE WINGDINGS.

OH, THERE WAS ALSO AN ELECTION.

ああ、選挙もあったのね。

THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARIES WERE A CLOWN CAR OF COMPETENCE WITH 28

民主党第一次世界大戦は、28カ国との競争力の低下した車であった。

CANDIDATES.

キャンディデート

HELLO, HI.

HELLO, HI.

NICE TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN.

またお会いできて嬉しいです。

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE CANDIDATE NUMBER 29.

あなたは候補者番号29番になりたくない。

"I'M SORRY, YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE TOP TIER, CONGRESSMAN, BUT YOU

"ごめんなさい、あなたはトップレベルには入れませんでした、 議員、でもあなたは

JUST DON'T HAVE THAT HICKENLOOPER SIZZLE."

JUST DON'T HAVE THAT HICKENLOOPER SIZZLE."

ULTIMATELY-- $500 MILLION.

絶対に...５億ドルだ

IN A TIME OF CRISIS, DEMOCRATS FELL BACK ON THEIR SAFETY

危機の時、民主党は自分の安全を守るために後退した。

SCHOOL: OLD WHITE GUY U.

学校：OLD WHITE GUY U.

GO, STATUS QUOS!

行け、STATUS QUOS!

BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC, BIDEN SPENT MOST OF THE GENERAL

パンデミックのために、バイデンは一般的な時間のほとんどを費やしました。

ELECTION ZOOMING FROM HIS BASEMENT.

彼のベースメントからの選挙のズーミング。

IT'S THE MOST SUCCESSFUL CAMPAIGN FROM A BASEMENT SINCE

これまでで最も成功したベースメントからのキャンペーンです

THE PRESIDENCY OF ULYSSES S.

ユリシーズ大統領

LAUNDRY BASKET.

LAUNDRY BASKET。

ALTERNATIVELY, THE PRESIDENT REFUSED TO WEAR A MASK FOR

別の方法では、大統領はマスクを着用することを拒否しました。

MONTHS AND INSISTED ON HOLDING MASS, PLAGUE-SPREADING RALLIES.

何ヶ月もかけて、集団で集会を開くことを主張していた。

THOUGH, THEY DID RAISE A LOT OF CAMPAIGN CASH WITH THEIR EBOLA

しかし、彼らは彼らのEBOLAで多くのキャンペーンキャッシュを調達しました。

MONKEY KISSING BOOTH.

MONKEY KISSING BOOTH。

THE 74-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENT TRIED TO MAKE THE RACE AGAINST HIS

THE 74-YEAR-OLD PRESIDENT TRIED TO MAKE THE RACE AGAINST HIS

THEN-77-YEAR-OLD OPPONENT ALL ABOUT MENTAL FITNESS.

THEN-77-YEAR-OLD OPPONENT ALL ABOUT MENTAL FITNESS.

SO, IN AN INTERVIEW ABOUT A RECENT COGNITIVE TEST, HE

最近の思考テストについてのインタビューでは

UNVEILED THE CATCHPHRASE OF THE YEAR:

UNVEILED THE CATCHPHRASE OF THE YEAR:

>> THE FIRST QUESTIONS ARE VERY EASY.

>> THE FIRST QUESTIONS ARE VERY EASY.

THE LAST QUESTIONS ARE MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.

THE LAST QUESTIONS ARE MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.

LIKE A MEMORY QUESTION, IT IS LIKE, YOU WILL GO "PERSON,

LIKE A MEMORY QUESTION, IT IS LIKE, YOU WILL GO "PERSON,

WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV."

"女性、男性、カメラ、テレビ"

SO, THEY WOULD SAY, "COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?"

SO, THEY WOULD SAY, "COULD YOU REPEAT THAT?"

SO, I SAID, "YEAH."

だから "イェー "って言ったんだ

IT'S "PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV."

"PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV "だ

>> Stephen: PRETTY IMPRESSIVE THAT HE REMEMBERED THOSE WORDS

>> スティーブン彼がこの言葉を覚えているとは、とても印象的です。

WHEN HE KEEPS FORGETTING HE LOST THE ELECTION.

彼が選挙に負けたことを忘れていたとき。

THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION WAS DONE ENTIRELY BY

THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION WAS DONE ENTIRELY BY

ZOOM, WHILE THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION WAS WHAT CAN ONLY BE

ZOOM, WHILE THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION WAS WHAT CAN ONLY BE

DESCRIBED AS THE WORLD'S WORST OPEN MIC.

世界最悪のオープンマイクと評されています。

WITH REPUBLICAN CELEBRITIES LIKE GUY WHO WANTS TO SELL YOU A

共和党のセレブと誰があなたを販売したいと思っている男のような

PILLOW, GUY WHO WANTS TO SNORT THE PILLOW, AND BRIDE OF

ピロウ、ピロウを吸いたい男、そして花嫁の花嫁

SNORTENSTEIN.

SNORTENSTEIN.

>> THE BEST, IS YET, TO COME!

>> THE BEST, IS YET, TO COME!

>> Stephen: WELL, SHE WAS RIGHT.

>> スティーブン彼女は正しかった

BUT MORE ON THAT LATER.

それについては後ほど。

THEN CAME THE DEBATES.

討論会が始まった

THE PRESIDENT'S STRATEGY WAS TO MAKE SURE THERE WOULD BE NO

THE PRESIDENT'S STRATEGY WAS TO MAKE SURE THERE WOULD BE NO

DEBATE BY INTERRUPTING EVERYTHING THAT--

すべてを妨害することで議論をする--

>> I'M THE ONE WHO BROUGHT BACK FOOTBALL.

>> I'M THE ONE WHO BROUGHT BACK FOOTBALL.

>> Stephen: HEY, I WAS STILL TALKING!

>> スティーブン：おい、まだ話してたぞ。

JOE, HELP ME OUT HERE.

ジョー 助けてくれ

>> WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN?

>> WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN?

>> Stephen: REMINDS ME OF THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF RONALD REAGAN:

>> スティーブン私はロナルド・レーガンの不滅の言葉を思い出す。

>> MR. GORBACHEV, SHUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH!

>> MR. GORBACHEV, SHUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH!

>> Stephen: THEN, AFTER MONTHS OF CLAIMING THE PANDEMIC WOULD

>> スティーブン：その後、数ヶ月間パデミックを主張していた後、パデミックは、そのようになるだろうと主張した。

JUST GO AWAY AND REFUSING TO SOCIALLY DISTANCE OR WEAR A

JUST GO AWAY AND REFUSING TO SOCIALLY DISTANCE OR WEAR A

MASK, THE THINKABLE HAPPENED: THE PRESIDENT TESTED POSITIVE

マスク、考えられることが起こった。大統領はポジティブなテストをした

FOR CORONAVIRUS.

コロナウイルスのために

WHAT A PLOT TWIST!

何て捻りがあるんだ！

IT'S LIKE THE END OF "THE SIXTH SENSE" WHEN YOU REALIZED,

IT'S LIKE THE END OF "THE SIXTH SENSE" WHEN YOU REALIZED,

"IT STARRED BRUCE WILLIS THE ENTIRE TIME!"

"IT STARRED BRUCE WILLIS THE ENTIRE TIME!"

( MUSIC STING ) THE PRESIDENT WAS PUT ON A

( MUSIC STING ) THE PRESIDENT WAS PUT ON A PRESIDENT

POWERFUL STEROID CALLED DEXAMETHASONE.

POWERFUL STEROID CALLED DEXAMETHASONE.

HOW POWERFUL?

どれだけ強力なのか？

OF A STEROID?

ステレオイドの？

LET THIS DOCTOR EXPLAIN: >> WHEN WE PUT PATIENTS ON

この医師に説明してもらいましょう。

HIGH-DOSE STEROIDS LIKE THAT, WE MONITOR THEM VERY CLOSELY,

高用量のステロイドのようなものは 厳密に監視しています

BECAUSE THERE'S A HOST OF SIDE EFFECTS, INCLUDING IMPACT ON

多くの副作用があるため、影響を含めて

THEIR MENTAL HEALTH AND DECISION-MAKING.

彼らの精神的な健康と意思決定。

>> THE DEXAMETHASONE IS KNOWN TO HAVE A MENTAL HEALTH SIDE

>> デキサメタゾンには精神的な健康面があることが知られています。

EFFECTS.

EFFECTS.

IT CAN CAUSE PSYCHOSIS.

精神病を引き起こす可能性があります。

IT CAN CAUSE DELIRIUM.

それはデリリアムを引き起こす可能性があります。

IT CAN CAUSE MANIA.

躁状態を引き起こす可能性があります。

>> Stephen: IT WAS PRETTY SCARY KNOWING THAT THE PERSON WITH THE

>> スティーブン：それは、それを持っている人を知っていることは非常に恐ろしいことでした。

NUCLEAR CODES MIGHT BE SUFFERING FROM PSYCHOSIS, DELIRIUM, AND

核のコードは精神病、デリリウム、およびに苦しんでいるかもしれない

MANIA.

MANIA.

AND THEN THEY GAVE HIM DEXAMETHASONE.

そして、彼らは彼にデキサメタゾンを与えました。

♪ " GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ♪ >> SLAMAGEDDON!

" GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ♪ >> SLAMAGEDDON!

>> Stephen: AFTER A FEW DAYS AT WALTER REED, THE PRESIDENT

>> スティーブン：

EMERGED FROM THE HOSPITAL, LANDED ON THE WHITE HOUSE LAWN,

病院から救急搬送されて ホワイトハウスの芝生に着陸した

CLIMBED THE STEPS, AND HEROICALLY REMOVED HIS MASK.

階段を登り、勇敢にも彼のマスクを取り除いた。

IT REMINDED ME OF WHEN PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT, CONFRONTED WITH THE

IT REMINDED ME OF WHEN PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT, CONFRONTED WITH THE

GROWING MENACE OF FASCISM, ROSE FROM HIS WHEELCHAIR AND GAVE

肥満症の成長は、車椅子から立ち上がり、与えた。

HIS ENTIRE CABINET POLIO.

彼の完全なキャビネット・ポリシー。

FINALLY, WE MADE IT TO ELECTION DAY.

最終的に、私たちは選挙の日にそれを作った。

EARLY IN THE EVENING, TRUMP WON FLORIDA, BUT MANY OF THE OTHER

夕方には、トランプはフロリダ州を獲得しましたが、他の多くは

SWING STATES REMAINED TOO CLOSE TO CALL.

スイングステイツはコールに近づきすぎていた

AS THE WEE HOURS CRAWLED ON, THINGS LOOKED INCREASINGLY

AS THE WEE HOURS CRAWLED ON, THINGS LOOKED INCREASINGLY

BETTER FOR BIDEN.

BETTER FOR BIDEN.

BUT THEN, AT 2:30 A.M., THE PRESIDENT APPEARED BEFORE THE

しかし、午前2時30分に、大統領は前に現れた

CAMERAS TO MAKE AN ODD CLAIM.

奇妙な主張をするためのカメラ。

>> WE WERE GETTING READY TO WIN THIS ELECTION.

>> WE WERE GETTING READY TO WIN THIS ELECTION.

FRANKLY, WE DID WIN THIS ELECTION.

FRANKLY, WE DID WIN THIS ELECTION.

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, YOU CAN'T JUST DECLARE YOURSELF THE WINNER

>> スティーブン: もちろん、あなたは自分自身を勝者と宣言することはできません。

BEFORE THE VOTES HAVE BEEN COUNTED.

BEFORE THE VOTES HAVE BEEN COUNTED.

THAT'S WHY THERE AREN'T T-SHIRTS THAT SAY "SAN FRANCISCO 49ers

だからこそ、"SAN FRANCISCO 49ers "と書かれたTシャツがないのです。

2020 SUPER BOWL CHAMPS" WITH 2:24 LEFT IN THE THIRD QUARTER.

2020 SUPER BOWL CHAMPS」第3クオーター残り2分24秒。

NOW, DESPITE THE PRESIDENT'S BEST EFFORTS, WE KEPT COUNTING

NOW, DESPITE THE PRESIDENT'S BEST EFFORTS, WE KEPT COUNTING

THE VOTES, AND THE SATURDAY AFTER THE ELECTION, AT AROUND

投票と選挙の後の土曜日、アラウンドでの

NOON, ALL THE MAJOR NETWORKS CALLED THE RACE FOR BIDEN.

NOON, ALL THE MAJOR NETWORKS CALLED THE RACE FOR BIDEN.

AND PEOPLE POURED INTO THE STREETS TO CELEBRATE, FROM TIMES

人々は大通りに押し寄せた 祝うために、時代から

SQUARE TO DENVER TO MIAMI TO CROWDS IN FRONT OF THE WHITE

スクウェアからデンバー、ミアミ、白の前の群衆へ

HOUSE.

HOUSE.

♪ Y-M-C-A IT'S FUN TO STAY AT THE

♪ Y-M-C-A IT'S FUN'S TO STAY AT THE

♪ Y-M-C-A ♪ >> Stephen: WHICH IS A

♪ Y-M-C-A ♪ >> スティーブンどれが

SURPRISING WAY TO CELEBRATE A BIDEN WIN, BECAUSE HE IS MANY

ビデンの勝利を祝うサプライズな方法、彼は多くの人だから。

THINGS, BUT NOT A-- ♪ YOUNG MAN

THINGS, BUT NOT A-- ♪ YOUNG MAN

NO, HE IS 78 ♪ HE'S NOT A YOUNG MAN

いや、彼は78歳だし、若くはないよ

BUT STILL HE LOOKS PRETTY GREAT THE PRESIDENT IMMEDIATELY

しかし、まだ彼はきれいに見えます すぐに大統領になります

REFUSED TO CONCEDE AND STARTED A SLOW-MOTION COUP, AIDED AND

拒否してスローモーションのカップルを始めた。

ABETTED BY PRESIDENTIAL LAWYER AND MAN WHO COMES PRE-ZOMBIED,

ABETTED BY PRESIDENTIAL LAWYER AND MAN WHO COMES PRE-ZOMBIED,

RUDY GIULIANI.

ルディー・ジュリアーニ

ON THE VERY DAY THE RACE WAS CALLED FOR BIDEN, RUDY HELD AN

ON THE VERY DAY THE RACE WAS CALLED FOR BIDEN, RUDY HELD AN

INSANE PRESS CONFERENCE IN PHILADELPHIA AT THE FOUR

INSANE PRESS CONFERENCE IN PHILADELPHIA AT THE FOUR

SEASONS...

SEASONS...

TOTAL LANDSCAPING, WHICH WAS BETWEEN A CREMATORIUM AND AN

墓所と墓所の間にあったトータルランドスケープ

ADULT VIDEO STORE.

ADULT VIDEO STORE.

THAT STORE, OF COURSE, WAS THE MARRIOT MARQUIS DE SADE SEX

その店は、もちろん MARRIOT MARQUIS DE SADE SEXでした。

SHOP.

お店を紹介します。

GIULIANI'S CONSPIRACY-FUELED, PARANOID RANT WOULD GO DOWN AS

ジウリアーニの陰謀に煽られたパラノイドの暴言は

THE MOST EMBARRASSING LEGAL PRESS CONFERENCE IN HISTORY--

THE MOST EMBARRASSING LEGAL PRESS CONFERENCE IN HISTORY--

UNTIL TWO WEEKS LATER, WHEN HIS HEAD MELTED.

2週間後に頭が溶けるまで

BUT 2020 WASN'T ALL BAD NEWS.

BUT 2020 WASN'T ALL BAD NEWS.

ALTHOUGH, TO BE FAIR, IT WAS MOSTLY BAD NEWS.

しかし、公平に言うと、それはほとんど悪いニュースでした。

BUT THEN, IN MID-NOVEMBER, WE LEARNED THAT TWO DIFFERENT

しかし、11月中旬、私たちは2つの異なるものがあることを知りました。

COMPANIES HAD A CORONAVIRUS VACCINE THAT WAS 95% EFFECTIVE

各社が95％の効果を示したコロナウイルスワクチンを使用していました。

IN CLINICAL TRIALS.

臨床試験で。

THAT IS HUGE!

それは大きいです！

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

HOLD ON.

待ってくれ

IF THERE'S TWO COMPANIES...

IF THERE'S TWO COMPANIES...