THIS IS WORKING OUT!

うまくいってるぞ！

WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

あなたのホストのステファン・コルバートです。

TO ALL MY JEWISH VIEWERS OUT THERE, HAPPY FIRST NIGHT OF

TO ALL MY JEWISH VIEWERS OUT THERE, HAPPY FIRST NIGHT OF

CHANUKAH!

CHANUKAH!

AND TO MY NON-JEWISH VIEWERS, CH-APPY THCHURSDAY.

と私の非ユダヤ人の視聴者に、CH -APPY THCHURSDAY。

HANUKKAH IS A BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY WHERE FAMILIES AROUND THE WORLD

ハヌッカは世界中の家族が集まる美しいホリデーです。

LIGHT THE MENORAH, TELL THE STORY OF THE MACCABEES, AND

LIGHT THE MENORAH, TELL THE STORY OF THE MACCABEES, AND

INSTILL CHILDREN WITH A LIFELONG GAMBLING ADDICTION.

一生続く賭博中毒の子供たちがいます。

"COME ON, GIMEL!

"COME ON, GIMEL!

SHIN?

SHIN?

I CAN'T PUT THREE PIECES OF GELT IN.

ジェルトを３枚も入れられない。

RABBI HERSCHEL'S GOING TO BUST MY KNEECAPS!"

ラビ・ハーシェルは私の頭をぶち壊そうとしている！"

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT 5781 HAS BEEN ONE LOOONG LUNAR YEAR.

君のことは知らないが、5781は一年の月日が流れている。

IS IT DECEMBER 10?

12月10日ですか？

FEELS LIKE THE 289TH OF ADAR.

アダーの289日のように感じる

BUT I'M GLAD HANUKKAH'S HERE.

でも、ハヌッカがいてよかった。

WE NEED TO SHINE A LITTLE LIGHT INTO THIS WORLD.

WE NEED TO SHINE A LITTLE LIGHT INTO THIS WORLD.

BECAUSE YESTERDAY, THE UNITED STATES SURPASSED 3,000 COVID

なぜなら、昨日、米国は3,000コビドを突破したからです。

DEATHS IN A DAY FOR THE FIRST TIME.

DEATHS IN A DAY FOR THE FIRST TIME.

LUCKILY, THE VACCINE IS ALREADY BEING ADMINISTERED, AND SHOULD

幸いにも、VACCINEはすでに管理されています、そしてすべきです。

BE APPROVED ANY MINUTE IN AMERICA.

アメリカの任意の分を承認される。

I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT I IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "CATCH A

I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT I IN TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "CATCH A

THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER."

THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER"

>> HEY!

>> ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

I'M AN ANTI-VAXXER!

私は反ヴァクサーだ！

THEY'RE TRYING TO MICROCHIP US, PEOPLE!

マイクロチップ化しようとしてるんだ！

AHHHH!

ああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああああ

(AIR HORN) >> Stephen: ENDLESS BUMMER.

エアホーン】→スティーブン。ENDLESS BUMMER。

TODAY, THE F.D.A. ADVISORY PANEL CONSIDERED WHETHER TO GRANT THE

TODAY, THE F.D.A. ADVISORY PANEL CONSIDERED WHETHER TO GRANT THE

PFIZER VACCINE "EMERGENCY USE AUTHORIZATION."

PFIZER VACCINE "EMERGENCY USE AUTHORIZATION.

THE FIRST DOSES WILL BE ROLLING OUT TO HEALTH WORKERS AND

THE FIRST DOSES WILL BE ROLLING OUT TO HEALTH WORKERS AND

LONG-TERM CARE FACILITY RESIDENTS WITHIN DAYS.

LONG-TERM CARE FACILITY RESIDENTS WITHIN DAYS.

THAT'S WHY I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE WE ARE NOW CALLING THIS SHOW "A

THAT'S WHY I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE WE ARE NOW CALLING THIS SHOW "A

LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY."

LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY."

FEATURING JON BATISTE AND STAY PUDDING!

ジョン・バティステとステイ・パディングが登場!

DISTRIBUTION IS GOING TO BE A CHALLENGE, IN PART, BECAUSE

ディストリビューションが課題となっているのは、一部ではありますが、その理由は

PFIZER'S VACCINE MUST BE STORED AT MINUS 94 DEGREES.

PFIZER'S VACCINEは94度以下で保管しなければならない。

AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE A PHOTO OF THE FIRST PERSON TO GET

AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE A PHOTO OF THE FIRST PERSON TO GET

THIS VACCINE.

このVACCINE。

LOOKING GOOD.

いい感じだ

NOW, BECAUSE THE VACCINE HAS TO BE SHIPPED THAT COLD, DRY ICE

今は、ワクチンを輸送しなければならないので、 冷たく乾燥した氷の中に

SALES ARE BOOMING.

塩分が急上昇しています。

BUT THAT MUCH DRY ICE IS GOING TO REQUIRE SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS,

BUT THAT MUCH DRY ICE IS GOING TO REQUIRE SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS,

WHICH IS WHY THE C.D.C.

WHICH IS WHY THE C.D.C.

RECOMMENDS THAT THE SHOT SHOULD BE ADMINISTERED ONLY BY '80S

RECOMMENDS THAT THE SHOT SHOULD BE ADMINISTERED ONLY BY '80S

HAIR BANDS.

HAIR BANDS.

OF COURSE, WITH ALL THE VACCINE CONSPIRACIES OUT THERE, MANY

OF COURSE, WITH ALL THE VACCINE CONSPIRACIES OUT THERE, MANY

AMERICANS ARE SAYING: ♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ♪

AMERICANS ARE SAYING: ♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ♪

♪ NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT! ♪ >> STEPHEN: ONE UNFORESEEN

♪ NO, WE AIN'T AINNA TAKE IT ♪ >> >> ONE UNFORESEEN

PROBLEM?

問題？

THE CHEESE INDUSTRY IS THREATENED BY THE COVID DRY ICE

THE CHEESE INDUSTRY IS THREATENED BY THE COVID DRY ICE

DEMAND, BECAUSE DRY ICE IS ESSENTIAL IN MAKING DAIRY

ドライアイスが欠かせないため、需要がある。

CULTURES, USED TO MAKE CHEESE, AND A SHORTAGE WOULD BE

チーズを作るのに使われていた文化、そして短命なのは、次のようなものです。

DEVASTATING.

DEVASTATING.

NO!

駄目だ！

SNOW, SCIENCE!

雪だ！科学だ！

YOU CAN'T MAKE AMERICANS CHOOSE BETWEEN THE THING WE NEED TO

あなたはアメリカ人を作ることはできません 私たちが必要とするものの間に選択します。

LIVE AND A VACCINE.

LIVE AND A VACCINE。

TELL YOU WHAT, HERE'S A COMPROMISE: JUST INJECT US WITH

言っておくが 妥協案がある俺たちに注射してくれ

THE CHEESE.

THE CHEESE.

TIME FOR MY BOOSTER SHOT.

TIME FOR MY BOOSTER SHOT.

OH!

嗟乎

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THIS WAS MY IDEA, YOU WILL REMEMBER.

これは私のアイデアだ 覚えているだろう

IN REWRITE I SAID GIVE IT IN MY MOUTH.

REWRITEでは「GIVE IT IN MY MOUTH」と言っていました。

SHUT UP NEXT TIME, ME.

次は黙っててくれ

MEANWHILE, THE ADMINISTRATION, TO TAKE THEIR MINDS OFF OF THE

MEANWHILE, THE ADMINISTRATION, TO TAKE THEIR MINDS OFF OF THE

GLOBAL CRISIS THEY'VE TRIED TO IGNORE, LAST NIGHT THREW TWO

? 世界的な危機は無視しようとしていた 最後の夜の3つの2つの ?

WHITE HOUSE HANUKKAH PARTIES.

ホワイトハウス・ハヌカー・パーティーズ

REPORTEDLY, THE PRESIDENT SKIPPED THE FIRST PARTY BUT

REPORTEDLY, THE PRESIDENT SKIPPED THE FIRST PARTY BUT

STOPPED BY THE SECOND.

2番目で止まった

I'M GUESSING BETWEEN THE TWO PARTIES, SOMEONE MUST HAVE TOLD

２つのパーティーの間に 誰かが話したに違いない

HIM WHAT LATKES ARE.

HIM WHAT LATKES ARE.

(AS AIDE) "SIR, THEY'RE POTATOES, BUT

(AS AIDE) "Sir, THEY'RE POTATOES, BUT" "Sir, THEY'RE POTATOES, BUT

THEY'RE DEEP-FRIED AND--" THE PRESIDENT GREETED HIS GUESTS

彼らは深い友情を持っていて...大統領はゲストに挨拶をした

AND SPOKE ABOUT THE TRUE MEANING OF THIS RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY:

そして、この宗教的な祝日の真の意味を語りました。

>> WE GOT 75-- ALMOST 75 MILLION VOTES.

>> >> WE GOT 75... 75万人の投票を得た

THINK OF THIS.

これを考えてみて

THE FIRST TIME, WE GOT 63 MILLION.

THE FIRST TIME, WE GOT 63 MILLION.

SECOND TIME, WE GOT 75 MILLION.

２回目で７５０００万ドルを手に入れた

>> STEPHEN: NOW, THAT MIGHT SEEM LIKE A PATHETIC OLD MAN CLINGING

>> 今、それはまるで 篤い老人がしがみついているようだ

TO PAST GLORIES, BUT HIS CLAIMS OF ELECTION FRAUD ACTUALLY HAVE

過去の栄光に、しかし、彼の選挙詐欺の主張は実際にあった。

A LOT IN COMMON WITH HANUKKAH.

A LOT IN COMMON WITH HANUKKAH.

THEY BOTH INVOLVE A MYSTERIOUS, ENDLESS SUPPLY OF OIL.

THEY BOTH INVOLVE A MYSTERIOUS, ENDLESS SUPPLY OF OIL.

OF COURSE, THE PRESIDENT'S TIME IN OFFICE IS DWINDLING.

もちろん、大統領の在任時間は、ドウィンディングしています。

YESTERDAY, WE REACHED AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE:

YESTERDAY, WE REACHED AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE:

ALL 50 STATES AND THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA HAVE NOW CERTIFIED

50州すべての州とコロンビア州が認証を取得しました。

THEIR PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION RESULTS.

彼らの大統領選挙の結果。

AND THE "LATE SHOW" IS READY TO PROJECT THAT JOE BIDEN HAS WON

AND THE "LATE SHOW" IS READY TO PROJECT THAT JOE BIDEN HAS WON

THE 2020 ELECTION.

2020年の選挙。

FIVE WEEKS AGO.

FIVE WEEKS AGO.

THAT IS THE TENTH TIME WE'VE PROJECTED THAT, SO NOT ONLY WILL

THAT IS THE TENTH TIME WE'VE PROJECTED THAT, SO NOT ONLY WILL

JOE BIDEN BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, HE ALSO

ジョー・ビデンは次期アメリカ合衆国大統領にもなる。

WON A FREE SUB.

無料のサブを獲得しました。

BUT, SURPRISE, SURPRISE, THE CURRENT PRESIDENT STILL REFUSES

しかし、驚いたことに、驚いたことに、現在の大統領はまだ拒否しています。

TO ADMIT HE LOST.

失ったことを認めろ

I'LL SHARE HIS LAST GASPS IN TONIGHT'S THRILLING:

I'LL SHARE HIS LAST GASPS IN TONIGHT'S THRILLING:

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN.

I KEEP GETTING KNOCKED DOWN.

I KEEP GETTING KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

GET KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN.

GET KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN.

MY PANTS ARE GETTING BROWN!

MY PANTS ARE GETTING BROWN!

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

GET KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN.

GET KNOCKED DOWN AGAIN.

I KEEP GETTING KNOCKED DOWN.

I KEEP GETTING KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

I GET KNOCKED DOWN.

AND KNOCKED TOWN AND KNOCKED DOWN!

AND KNOCKED TOWN AND KNOCKED DOWN!

>> THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!

>> THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!

>> Stephen: THAT WAS LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE.

>> スティーブン思ったより長かったわ

THIS IS SALTIER THAN I EXPECTED, THAT WAS LONGER THAN I EXPECTED.

思っていたよりも塩辛い、思っていたよりも長かった。

THE PRESIDENT HAS NOW PLACED ALL OF HIS HOPES TO OVERTURN

THE PRESIDENT HAS NOW PLACED ALL OF HIS HOPES TO OVERTURN

DEMOCRACY ON THE SUPREME COURT.

最高裁判所の民主主義

SPECIFICALLY, HE'S JOINING A LAWSUIT FILED BY TEXAS ATTORNEY

具体的には、彼はテキサス州の弁護士が提出した訴訟に参加しています。

GENERAL AND MAN HOLDING IN A BURP AND A FART AT THE SAME

将軍と男が同時にバーンとおならをしている。

TIME, KEN PAXTON.

ＴＩＭＥ、ＫＥＮ ＰＡＸＴＯＮ

IN HIS LAWSUIT, PAXTON CLAIMS THAT TEXAS' RIGHTS WERE VIOLATED

訴訟において、PAXTONは、テキサス州の権利が侵害されたと主張しています。

WHEN MICHIGAN, GEORGIA, PENNSYLVANIA AND WISCONSIN

ミシガン州、ジョージア州、ペニンシルバニア州、ウィスコンシン州の場合

CHANGED THEIR ELECTION LAWS TO ALLOW MORE MAIL-IN VOTING.

CHANGED THEIR ELECTION LAWS TO ALLOW MORE MAIL-IN VOTING.

BUT TEXAS DOESN'T GET TO DECIDE THE ELECTION RULES IN OTHER

しかし、テキサス州は他の州の選挙規則を決定することはできません。

STATES.

STATES.

HE'S NOT JUST CHANGING THE RULES OF THE GAME, HE'S CHANGING THE

HE'S NOT JUST CHANGING THE RULES OF THE GAME, HE'S CHANGING THE

GAME.

GAME.

IT REMINDS ME OF THAT THRILLING MOMENT IN "THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT:"

"クイーンズガンビット "のゾクッとする場面を 思い出すわ

>> YAHTZEE!

>> ヤフオク！→ヤフオク！→ヤフオク！→ヤフオク！→ヤフオク

( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: STILL PRETTY GOOD.

( APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: STILL PRETTY GOOD.

AND IT'S NOT JUST TEXAS.

それはテキサスだけじゃない

YESTERDAY, PAXTON WAS JOINED BY REPUBLICAN ATTORNEYS GENERAL IN

パクストンは先日 共和党の司法長官と合流した

17 STATES.

17 STATES.

HMM.

HMMです。

I FORGET...

忘れた...

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A BUNCH OF STATES BAND TOGETHER TO SAY

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A BUNCH OF STATES BAND TOGETHER TO SAY

THE OTHER STATES ELECTED THE WRONG PRESIDENT?

他の州は間違った大統領を選出したのか？

SOME SORT OF GROUPING OR "CONFEDERATION" OF STATES.

ある種のグループ化または州の「連合」。

I SEE WHY THEY KEPT ALL THOSE FLAGS.

I SEE WHY THEY KEPT ALL THOSE FLAGS.

BUT THE SWING STATES GETTING SUED ARE NOT WORRIED.

BUT THE SWING STATES GETTING SUED ARE NOT WORRIED.

EVEN TEXAS SENATOR AND GALLON OF FROZEN MILK, JOHN CORNYN, TOLD

テキサス州の上院議員で 凍った牛乳のジョン・コーニーンも言った

CNN'S MANU RAJU, "I READ JUST THE SUMMARY OF IT, AND I FRANKLY

CNNのマヌー・ラジュ「概要を読んだだけですが、率直に言って

STRUGGLE TO UNDERSTAND THE LEGAL THEORY OF IT."

"それの法的理論を理解するのに苦労しています。"

LET ME EXPLAIN: THE TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL IS JUST

説明させてもらうと、テキサス州の司法長官はただの人です。

CARRYING WATER FOR THE PRESIDENT, CITING THE LANDMARK

大統領のために水を運び、ランドマークに言及する

CASE OF BROWN V. NOSE.

ブラウン対鼻のケース。

CORNYN ADDED, "WHY WOULD A STATE, EVEN SUCH A GREAT STATE

CORNYNが追加しました。

AS TEXAS, HAVE A SAY SO ON HOW OTHER STATES ADMINISTER THEIR

テキサス州として、他の州がどのように彼らの州を管理するかについての意見を述べてください。

ELECTIONS?" YEAH!

ELECTIONS?" YEAH!

YOU "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS," BUT TEXAS CAN MESS WITH OTHER

お前は「テキサスに手を出すな」と言ったが、テキサスは他の人に手を出すことができる。

STATES?

州？

I SAY IT'S TIME FOR WISCONSIN TO CHANGE ITS MOTTO TO "WELCOME TO

ウィスコンシン州は今こそ、"WELCOME TO "に変える時だと思います。

WISCONSIN-- WHAT ALAMO?" BIG FACEBOOK NEWS!

WISCONSIN-- WHAT ALAMO?" BIG FACEBOOK NEWS!

NO, YOUR OLD FRIENDS FROM CAMP HAVEN'T STOPPED BEING MAD THAT

いや、キャンプの古い友人たちは 怒るのを止めていない

YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP TO THE ZOOM REUNION.

YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP TO THE ZOOM REUNION.

YESTERDAY, THE U.S. GOVERNMENT AND 48 ATTORNEYS GENERAL FILED

はい、今日、米国政府と48の司法長官が提出しました。

ANTITRUST LAWSUITS AGAINST FACEBOOK, CALLING IT AN ILLEGAL

フェイスブックを違法と称した独占禁止法違反訴訟

MONOPOLY.

モノポリー。

YES, IT'S JUST LIKE MONOPOLY.

そう、一枚岩のようなものだ。

EXCEPT EVERY TIME YOU PASS GO, INSTEAD OF GETTING $200,

200ドルの代わりに毎回パスする以外はね

ZUCKERBERG SELLS YOUR DATA TO A MOLDOVAN SPAM FARM.

ズッカーバーグはあなたのデータを モルドバのスパム農場に売っています。

THE SUITS SPECIFICALLY POINT TO FACEBOOK'S PURCHASE OF INSTAGRAM

スーツは特にインスタグラムのFACEBOOKの購入を指している

AND WHATSAPP, WHICH GAVE CONSUMERS FEWER SOCIAL

AND WHATSAPP, WHICH GAVE CONSUMERS FEWER SOCIAL

NETWORKING OPTIONS.

ネットワークオプション。

SO THE F.T.C. IS SAYING THAT FACEBOOK MUST BE BROKEN UP.

SO THE F.T.C. IS SAYING THAT FACEBOOK MUST BE BROKEN UP.

TO BE CLEAR, FACEBOOK HAS NOT BEEN BROKEN UP YET, BUT IT HAS

はっきりさせておくと、FACEBOOKは今のところブレークアップされていませんが、ブレークアップされています。

CHANGED ITS STATUS TO "IT'S COMPLICATED."

ステータスを "複雑化している "に変更しました。

OF COURSE, IF FACEBOOK DOES BREAK UP, IT FACES THE DAUNTING

OF COURSE, IF FACEBOOK DOES BREAK UP, IT FACES THE DAUNTING

TASK OF GOING THROUGH AND MANUALLY UN-TAGGING ALL THE

すべてのタグを通過させて、自動的にタグを解除する作業

PHOTOS OF IT TOGETHER.

一緒に写っている写真

NOW, MY WRITERS ASSURE ME THOSE JKES THAT I JUST TOLD MAKE

NOW, MY WRITERS ASSURE ME THOSE JKES THAT I JUST TOLD MAKE

SENSE.

センス。