♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

♪ >> スティーブンおかえりなさい

EVERYBODY!

みんな！

LET'S SAY HELLO THE JON BATISTE.

LET'S SAY HELLO THE JON BATISTE.

HELLO, JON.

こんにちは、ジョン

>> Jon: WHOA, WITH SOMEBODY WHO LOVES ME!

>> ジョン私を愛してくれる人と一緒に！

COME ON!

来いよ！

>> Stephen: OH, I MISS WHITNEY.

>> スティーブン: OH, I miss WHITNEY.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, I'M JUST PREPARING AND I'M IN GOOD

>> ジョンただ準備をしているだけだし、調子はいいよ

SPIRITS AND I'M GOING TO STAY THRSM WE'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP

魂と私は 魂のままでいようとしている 私たちは 守らなければならないのだ

MOVING.

MOVING.

>> Stephen: THIS IS TRUE.

>> スティーブンこれは真実です。

I KNOW YOU'VE ALREADY VOTED.

I KNOW YOU'VE ALREADY VOTED.

I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE DOWN IN PHILLY TOMORROW, RIGHT?

I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE DOWN IN PHILLY TOMORROW, RIGHT?

>> Jon: YESES, AND WE'RE GOING TO BE BRINGING LOVE AND JOY

>> ジョンそうだよ 愛と喜びを届けに行くんだ

AMIDST WHATEVER HAPPENS.

AMIDST WHATEVER HAPPENS.

>> Stephen: I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW OUR LATE

>> スティーブン：私はただ、すべての人に私たちの亡き日を知ってもらいたいのです。

NIGHT, "LATE SHOW" DIGITAL TEAM HAS A BIG DAY.

"LATE SHOW" DIGITAL TEAMがビッグ・デイを迎えました

THEY'RE PRESENTING A LATE SHOW PRE-SHOW HOPING FOR THE BEST

THEY'RE PRESENTING A LATE SHOW PRE-SHOW HOPING FOR THE BEST

STARTING AT 11:00 A.M. RIGHT UP TILL SHOW TIME.

午前11時からショータイムまで

CHECK IT OUT ON THE INSTAGRAM, THE TWITTER AND THE Facebook.

インスタグラム、ツイッター、フェイスブックでチェックしてみてください。

VISIT Twitter.com/VISIT@COLBERT LATE S

VISIT Twitter.com/VISIT@COLBERT LATE S

>> Jon: PLEASE, STAY COOL OUT THERE.

>> ジョンお願いだから、冷静にしてくれよ

>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

>> スティーブンジョン・バティステ、エブリバディ

THANK YOU, JON.

THANK YOU, JON.

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

>> ジョンはい、そうです。

>> STEPHEN: JOINING ME NOW IS THE HOST OF "LAST WEEK TONIGHT"

>> 今から参加するのは "最後の週末 "の司会者です

ON HBO, PLEASE WELCOME, JOHN OLIVER.

HBOにようこそ ジョン・オリバー

HELLO, JOHN OLIVER.

こんにちは ジョン・オリバー

>> HELLO, EVERYONE.

>> 皆さん、こんにちは。

HOLA, STEPHEN.

ホラ、ステファン

>> Stephen: HOLA, JOHN.

>> スティーブンホラ、ジョン

BUENO.

BUENO.

>> Stephen: NO PRESSURE BY THE WAY, BUT YOU'RE THE LEAD

>> スティーブン：方法による圧力はありませんが、あなたがリードしています。

INTERVIEW TONIGHT.

INTERVIEW TONIGHT.

THE SECOND INTERVIEW IS CHER.

THE SECOND INTERVIEW IS CHER.

YOU'RE OPENING FOR CHER TONIGHT.

YOU'RE OPENING FOR CHER TONIGHT.

DID YOU EVER DREAM THAT YOU WOULD BE WEARING THAT WHEN YOU

DID YOU EVER DREAM THAT YOU WOULD BE WEARING THAT WHEN YOU

OPENED FOR CHER?

CHERのためにオープンした？

HOW DARE YOU WEAR THAT!

HOW DARE YOU WEAR THAT!

>> THIS HAS AT LEAST A THOUSAND TOO FEW SEQUINS OF IT.

>> >> これは、それのうちの少なくとも3,000,000,000から4,000,000,000のシークインを持っています。

THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE SATORIAL ESCAPE.

これは絶対的な逃避行だよ

>> Stephen: WHEN I ACTUALLY GOT SET UP AT MY HOUSE, YOU WERE

>> スティーブン私が実際に家に来た時、あなたがいました。

MY FIRST GUEST.

MY FIRST GUEST.

AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR THAT.

もう一度、ありがとうございます。

YOU WERE MY LAST GUEST BEFORE THE GREAT CHANGING OF THE AGE,

YOU WERE MY LAST GUEST BEFORE THE GREAT CHANGING OF THE AGE,

WHATEVER IT MAY BE.

何としてでも

>> WELL, CHER IS.

>> ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

CHER IS THE LAST.

CHER IS THE LAST.

AND YOU COULD NOT HAVE PICKED BETTER.

AND YOU COULD NOT HAVE PICKED BETTER.

WHEN THEY SAID TO ME CHER IS GOING TO BE ON TONIGHT, I

チェアが今夜出るって言われた時、私は

THOUGHT, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED NOW.

考えてみて、それはまさに私が今必要としているものです。

I DON'T NEED MYSELF AS A GUEST, I NEED CHER.

I DON'T NEED MYSELF AS A GUEST, I NEED CHER.

>> Stephen: YES, I'M ALWAYS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

>> スティーブン：はい、いつも楽しみにしています。

I'VE ALWAYS WAND TO TALK TO HER.

I've ALWAYS WAND TO TALK TO HER.

SHE'S CHER!

SHE'S CHER!

HAVE YOU TALKED TO CHER BEFORE?

HAVE YOU TALKED TO CHER BEFORE?

>> NO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO CHER.

>> いいえ、チャーとは話していません。

>> Stephen: WHY WOULDN'T YOU?

>> スティーブンなぜそうしないの？

YOU DON'T BUMP INTO HER BACKSTAGE AT ALL THE --

彼女のバックステージに ぶつからないように...

>> AT THE VENETIAN?

>> ヴェネチアンで？

NO, DON'T.

いや、やめてくれ

I WATCH WHAT SHE DOES ON TWITTER EVERY NOW AND THEN BECAUSE SHE'S

彼女がツイッターで何をしているかは、彼女がいるからこそ見ています。

SPECTACULAR ON TWITTER.

SPECTACULAR ON TWITTER.

>> Stephen: I'LL READ THIS, SHE'S LIKE ALL CAPS MOMMA OUT

>> スティーブンI'll read this, SHE'S LIKE ALL CAPS MOMMA OUT.

THERE.

そこだ

>> ALL CAPS AND SHE TWEETS LIKE A TODDLER WHO'S JUST HAD TWO

>> ALL CAPS AND SHE TWEETS LIKE A TODDLER WHO'S JUST HAD TWO

MOUNTAIN DO YOUS AND LEARNED WHAT EMOJIS ARE FOR THE FIRST

MOUNTAIN DO YOUS AND LEARNED WHAT EMOJIS ARE FOR THE FIRST

TIME.

時間だ

SHE GOES HARD.

SHE GOES HARD.

>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, IT'S A BIG WEEK FOR THE COUNTRY.

>> スティーブン：明らかに、それは国にとって大きな週です。

IT'S A BIG WEEK FOR THE WORLD.

世界にとって大きな一週間です。

AMERICA'S ELECTIONS MEAN SOMETHING EVERYWHERE.

アメリカの選挙は至る所で何かを意味しています。

>> I WOULDN'T UNDERSTATE THE EXTENT TO WHICH THE REST OF THE

>> ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

WORLD IS EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN WHAT'S HAPPEN.

世界は感情的に何が起こるかに投資しています。

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> スティーブン本当に？

HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO THEM?

HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO THEM?

I HAVEN'T TALKED TO ANYBODY.

誰とも話してないわ

JUST BECAUSE OF COVID I DON'T WANT TO SPREAD IT OUTSIDE OUR

COVIDのせいで外に広めたくないんだ

BORDERS OVER A TELEPHONE LINE.

電話回線の境界線。

HOW ARE EVERYBODY IN THE U.K.

イギリスではみんなどうしているのか？

PERCEIVING WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN?

何が起きようとしているのかを予知しているのか？

>> MY BEST FRIEND TEXTED ME, LIKE, 5:00 A.M. THIS MORNING AND

>> 私の親友が今朝5時頃にメールをくれた。

HE SAID, HEY, IS IT TENSE OVER THERE?

彼が言ったんだ、おい、そこは緊張してるのか？

I WAS QUITE BLEARY.

私は本当にぼんやりしていました。

I TEXTED HIM AND WENT BACK TO SLEEP.

彼にメールして寝たわ

I TEXTED BACK ALL CAPS PRETTY ( BLEEP ) TENSE EXCLAMATION MA

I TEXTED BACK ALL CAPS PRETTY ( BLEEP ) TENSE EXCLAMATION MA

SEND.

SEND.

IT READ AS PUNCHY AS IT WAS SUPPOSED TO.

それは、それが想定されていたようにパンチのように読み取る。

YEAH, THEY ARE ALL WAITING WITH INVESTED INTEREST IN THE WAY

YEAH, THEY ARE ALL WAITING WITH INVESTED INTEREST IN THE WAY

AMERICA IS GOING TO SWING.

アメリカは揺れる

>> Stephen: YOU ALSO HAVE A BIG WEEK BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FIRST

>> スティーブンあなたも初めてのことで大変な一週間になりました

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION NOW THAT YOU'RE AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION NOW THAT YOU'RE AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.

>> YES.

>> ＹＥＳ！＞＞＞＞＞＞＞＞ＹＥＳ

>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE ALLOWED TO VOTE.

>> スティーブン：あなたは投票することを許されているのですね。

A, THAT'S SO EXCITING.

A、それはとても楽しみです。

>> IT'S AMAZING.

>> 驚くべきことです。

>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS ON HAVING BEEN MADE A CITIZEN

>> スティーブン：市民権を得ておめでとうございます。

BEFORE.

BEFORE.

THIS BUT WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE TO GO PULL THE LEVER OR HOWEVER

THIS BUT WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE TO GO PULL THE LEVER OR HOWEVER

THEY DID IT AT YOUR POLLING PLACE?

あなたの投票所でやったの？

>> THAT WAS NO LEVER.

>> それはレバーではありませんでした。

THAT WAS DISCI'S APPOINTING.

DISCIが任命したんだ

HONESTLY, IT WAS AMAZING.

正直言って、素晴らしかったです。

PUTTING ASIDE THE CANDIDATES IN THIS ELECTION FOR A MOMENT,

今回の選挙では候補者を 脇に置いておきます

WHICH ALREADY I FEEL SORRY ABOUT IT, PUTTING THAT ASIDE, AS AN

それはもう申し訳ないと思っていますが、そのことは脇に置いておきます。

IMMIGRANT WHO JUST GOT HIS CITIZENSHIP IN DECEMBER OF LAST

昨年12月に市民権を取得したばかりの移民の方

YEAR, I WAS WAITING FOR THAT TO FEEL REAL.

１年前から現実になるのを 待ってたんだよ

BUT WHEN YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR IMMIGRATION STATUS ALL THE TIME

BUT WHEN YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR IMMIGRATION STATUS ALL THE TIME

AND EVEN GETTING YOUR PASSPORT DOESN'T FEEL REAL BECAUSE YOU

AND EVEN GETTING YOUR PASSPORT DOESN'T FEEL REAL BECAUSE YOU

HAVEN'T TESTED IT AGAINST A SYSTEM.

HAVEN'T TESTED IT AGAINST A SYSTEM.

BUT I THOUGHT THIS WILL FEEL DIFFERENTLY WHEN I LEAVE

しかし、私はこれは私が離れるときに異なる感じだろうと思った。

AMERICA, COME BACK AND AM TREATED DIFFERENTLY BY THE

アメリカよ、戻って来て、私は彼らによって異なった扱いを受けています。

SYSTEM.

SYSTEM.

STANDING IN LINE, I THOUGHT MAYBE THIS WILL BE IT.

並んでいて思ったんだけど、これはこれでいいのかなって。

I DIDN'T FEEL IT.

感じなかったわ

GIVING THEM MY NAME AND GETTING THE BALLOT, I DIDN'T FEEL IT.

私の名前を出して投票に行っても 感じませんでした

SCANNING IT INTO THE MACHINE AND THE MACHINE SAYING YOU'RE R YOUR

SCANNING IT INTO THE MACHINE AND THE MACHINE SAYING YOU'RE R YOUR

VOTE HAS BEEN COUNTED, I NEARLY BURST INTO TEARS.

投票はカウントされました、私は涙に破裂しそうになりました。

THAT IS THE TRUTH.

それが真実だ

MY EYES GOT MISTY AND I THOUGHT, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN CRY IN THE

目が霞んで、思ったんだけど、泣けるかどうかわからないんだよね。

VOTING STATION.

VOTING STATION.

>> Stephen: THAT'S LOVELY.

>> スティーブンいいね

I DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR THE MACHINE TO SAY YOUR VOTE HAS

I DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT FOR THE MACHINE TO SAY YOUR VOTE HAS

BEEN COUNTED, ASTERISK, YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK, SO IT'S COUNTED.

BEEN COUNTED, ASTERISK, YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK, SO IT'S COUNTED.

>> Stephen: SORT OF.

>> Stephen: SORT OF.

SO GIVE ME A BALLPARK OF HOW MANY HOURS YOU WERE IN LINE.

SO GIVE ME A BALLPARK OF HOW MANY HOURS YOU WERE IN LINE.

WAS IT HOURS?

何時だったかな？

>> YEAH, I WAS PROBABLY -- YOU MEAN START TO FINISH --

>> YEAH, I WAS PROBABLY -- YOU MEAN START TO FINISH --

>> Stephen: JOIN THE LINE.

>> スティーブンLINEに参加します。

THAT'S HOW LINES WORK.

これがラインの仕組みだ

JOIN THE LINE.

LINEに参加します。

OUT OF LINE.

アウトオブライン。

THE QUEUE.

THE QUEUE.

DOES THAT HELP?

役に立つかな？

>> MUCH BETTER.

MUCH BETTER.comでは、 >> MUCH BETTER.

I WAS IN THE QUEUE AN HOUR AND A HALF

私は1時間半前にキューにいました

>> Stephen: COMPARE THAT TO VOTING IN U.K.

>> スティーブン：イギリスでの投票と比較してみてください。

YOU GUYS JUST GO TO PUBS THERE.

お前らはそこのPUBSに行けばいいんだよ

YOU EITHER PICK A PICKLED EGG OR SCOTCH EGG AND THEY KNOW THAT'S

ピクルドエッグかスコッチエッグのどちらかを選ぶと、彼らはそれを知っています。

WWHAT PARTY YOU'RE VOTING FOR?

WWHAT PARTY YOU'RE VOTING FOR?

>> I WISH IT WASN'T TRUE, BUT, YEAH, YOU WALK UP TO THE BAR AND

>> 本当はそうじゃなかったんだけど、でも、そうだ、バーに来て

YOU SAY, ALL RIGHT, GOVERNOR, I TAKE THE PICKLED EGG.

YOU SAY, ALL RIGHT, GOVERNOR, I TAKE THE PICKLED EGG.

REALLY, VOTING FOR THATCHER AGAIN?

またサッチャーに投票するのか？

I AM.

I AMです。

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THIS, I THINK LINES HAVE BEEN NORMALIZED

これを理解してください、私はラインが標準化されていると思います。

IN AMERICA.

アメリカでは

I THINK THAT EVERYONE ELSE STANDS IN LINE FOR HOURS.

他のみんなは何時間も並んでいると思う

>> Stephen: THERE ARE NOT LINES OVER THERE?

>> Stephen: THERE ARE NOT LINES OVER THERE?

>> NO, IT'S NOT LINES.

>> いや、LINEじゃないですよ。

IT'S ABSOLUTE MADNESS TO STAND -- TO HAVE TO STAND IN

立っていることは 全くの狂気だ

LINE FOR THAT LONG IS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE WHEREVER YOU

LINE FOR THAT LONG IS AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE WHEREVER YOU

ARE.

ARE.

NOBODY ELSE HAS TO STAND IN LINE FOR SEVEN, NINE, ELEVEN HOURS,

他の誰もが7時間、9時間、ELEVEN時間並んでいる必要はありません。

WHATEVER YOU'RE HEARING ABOUT.

WHATEVER YOU'RE HEARING ABOUT.

IT'S ABSURD.

それはABSURDです。

>> Stephen: NOW THAT YOU VOTED AND YOU FEEL MORE AMERICAN, HAVE

>> スティーブン：今、あなたが投票して、あなたはより多くのアメリカ人を感じていることを、持っています。

YOU THOUGHT ABOUT LOSING THE ACCENT?

アクセントを失うことについて考えたことはありますか？

>> UM -- >> Stephen: HAVE YOU PUT ANY

>> スティーブンあなたは何かを入れたことがありますか？

EFFORT INTO IT, BY THE WAY?

努力しているのか？

>> I THINK WHAT I'M SCROLLING THROUGH IS WHICH ACCENT DO I

>> 私がスクロールしているのはどのアクセントかと思っています。

PICK?

PICK?

IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET TO REINVENT YOURSELF, AM I DOING

あなたが自分を取り戻すために行くなら、私はそうしていますか？

BRONX, AM I GOING INTO KIND OF 1950 SOUTH, AM I GOING TO THE

BRONX, AM I GOING INTO KIND OF 1950 SOUTH, AM I GOING TO THE SOUTH.

CALIFORNIA SURFER.

カリフォルニア・サーファー

>> Stephen: DELAWARE.

>> スティーブンデラウェア

DELAWARE, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

デラウェア、全く何もない。

FLAT.

フラット

NEWSCASTER.

NEWSCASTER.

>> REALLY.

>> 本当に。

>> Stephen: YES, A MANILA ENVELOPE TAPED TO A BEIGE WALL.

>> スティーブン：はい、マニラのエンベロープがベージュの壁にテーピングされています。

NO CHARACTER.

性格はありません。

NO CHARACTER AT ALL.

キャラクターが全くない。

>> ALL RIGHT, I'LL LOOK INTO THAT.

>> ALL RIGHT, I'LL LOOK INTO THAT.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> スティーブンああ

I MIGHT GO WITH A REALLY INTENSE BALTIMORE ACCENT.

I MIGHT GO WITH A REALLY INTENSE BALTIMORE ACCENT.

>> Stephen: THOSE ARE DIFFICULT TO DO.

>> スティーブンそれをやるのは難しい

>> YEAH, THOSE NOISES DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

>> そうだ、この音は意味がわからない。

>> Stephen: GIVE ME A TASTE.

>> スティーブンGIVE ME A TASTE.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

見当もつかない

>> Stephen: OH, SO CLOSE!

>> スティーブン惜しい！

JUST SAY I GOT STUCK IN THE FORT McHENRY TUNNEL.

JUST SAY I GOT STUCK IN THE FORT McHENRY TUNNEL.

>> LITERALLY, I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE A SWING AT THAT AND THERE

>> 文字通り、私はそれでスイングしようとしていた、そしてそこに。

WAS SOMETHING IN MY BODY WENT THAT SOUND CAN'T COME OUT.

体の中に何かが入っていて 音が出ないんだ

IT'S ACTUALLY NOT OKAY.

実際にはダメなんだよ

>> Stephen: JOHN, WE HAVE TO DO THAT COMMERCIAL THING YOU

>> スティーブン：ジョン、私たちはあなたが商業的なことをしなければなりません。

NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

STICK AROUND, BACK WITH MORE JOHN OLIVER.

回り込んで ジョン・オリバーを連れて来い

♪ ♪

♪ ♪