(CHOIR SINGING)

There we are, sir. And just a look.

-Yes, that's fine. -Great.

(BELL RINGING)

Right. Let me help you.

CUSTOMER: Right. Keep the change.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hmm.

So, made your mind up yet, sir?

(WHINNYING)

Yes, that one.

Let's just get this on you, then, sir.

Right, then, now.

Right then, just a trim, then, sir.

Just... Head up a bit, sir.

(PHONE RINGING)

Head up, please, sir.

Suzie, answer that, will you please, love?

Excuse us a minute.

Suzie!

BARBER: Yes.

No, no, no, not it at all.

Yes. Yes, Saturday.

Yeah. Yeah? No? Yeah.

(GROANS)

(BARBER LAUGHING)

Sorry. Look, can I just leave Jamie here with you for a moment?

I've left my purse in the shop back there. But just give him a good haircut, will you?

Be good, Jamie! He's a terrible mess.

(EXCLAIMING)

MR BEAN: Ta-da!

(IMITATING ELECTRIC SHAVER)

(SHAVER WHIRRS)

Won't be long.

Oh, well...

-Yeah. Yeah, great! -Yeah, all right.

Thanks. Can I have my hat?

-There we go. -Found it. I was really lucky.

It's all right. Keep the change.

-Say thank you. -Thank you.

-Oh, thank you! -Thanks so much.

(MOBILE RINGING)

Hello?

Hold it, I can't hear you. Wait... Wait a minute.

(BARBER SIGHS)

Sorry about that.

Suzie's usually here Tuesdays.

(PHONE RINGING)

Two minutes.

-Morning, Derek. -Good morning.

BARBER: Hello? Yeah, I'll hold.

Usual please, Derek.

(BELL RINGING)

I was first.

Just the split ends at the back, and thin it out, would you?

(WHIRRING)

(JAMMING)

(SPUTTERING)

Right.

(EXCLAIMS)

Keep the change.

-What a day! -Thanks, Derek. Very nice.

Roger?

Roger!

-Right. Where is he? -Whoa.

-Where is he? -What? What? What?

-What on earth do you call this? -But I like it!

-You don't like it. -I do.

-Shut up, Jamie. Now look... Listen to me. -Oi!

-Where's my ponytail? -What am I trying to say?

-My son looks like an ape! -Don't shout, madam.

-Excuse me! -Have you got any idea

-how long it took me to grow that? -I have no idea what you're...

Nearly two and a half years.

And your man chops it off in less than two minutes!

-Have you seen this? -Where is he?

Sir.

-Derek, have you gone mad? -You're saying...

Your assistant, where is he?

MOTHER: Derek, whatever your name is...

Steady.

(TYRES SCREECH)

(URGING DOG)

Come by, come by, come by.

Sit. Steady.

(CAR HONKING)

SHEPHERD: Come. Come.

I'll be about an hour.

Sort of 3:15, all right?

(KIDS SHOUTING)

(BUZZING)

Would you like a go?

Thank you.

(BUZZING)

Another one?

Thank you.

(CORD SNAPS)

Well done, sir.

Thank you.

(GIRL GIGGLING)

Thank you very much.

(LAUGHING)

Oi! Oi! Oi!

No!

(KIDS CHATTERING)

I'm so sorry I'm late. I got stuck in the toilet.

-Your name, please? -Luke.

Thank you, Luke. That's a lovely dog.

-Right. -GIRL: Poppy.

Poppy. Lovely dog.

Bean.

And your pet?

Come on. Come on.

(GROWLS)

One minute, sir.

Colonel, could you come here a minute, please?

We really must get on.

-Do you think we can we allow this? -We really must start!

Come on, come on, come on!

(KIDS SHOUTING)

COLONEL: All right, quiet please.

Quiet!

The obedience test.

LUKE: Stay.

Stay. Stay.

KIDS: Oh!

Sit. Sit. Sit.

Stay. Stay.

KIDS: Oh!

Stay. Sit, Polo. Sit.

Stay. Stay.

No, come back! Come back!

You sit there.

Teddy.

Sit. Sit.

(KIDS WHISPERING)

MR BEAN: Stay.

Stay.

Stay.

Yes!

(EXCLAIMING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Don't eat the sausage.

Now, don't eat the sausage! Don't eat the sausage.

Oh, no, Angus!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

MR BEAN: No.

No!

(KIDS CHEERING)

KIDS: Go on, Willie! Go on, Willie! Go on, Willie!

(KIDS CHEERING)

(MOUTHING)

-Come on. -KIDS: Angus! Angus!

Angus! Angus! Angus!

(KIDS CLAPPING)

KIDS: Teddy! Teddy! Teddy!

(KIDS CHEERING)

-Well done. -Thank you.

-Well done. -Thank you.

(KIDS CHEERING)

(DOGS BARKING)

(KIDS SCREAMING)

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

(SIGHS)

(TRANSPORT VEHICLE HONKING)

(CLANGING)

ANNOUNCER ON PA: All staff. Snack train now at platform four.

MR BEAN: Hooray! I'm free. I'm free.

(GROANS)

(TRANSPORT VEHICLE HONKING)