WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

あなたのホストのステファン・コルバートです。

I'M HERE FROM THE LOVELY ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE

I'M HERE FROM THE LOVELY ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE

BUILDING.

建物

MY LADY JOINS ME OVER THERE.

俺の女があそこで俺と一緒になるんだ

>> HELLO.

>> HELLO.

>> Stephen: WE ARE EIGHT DAYS FROM THE

>> スティーブン私たちは、まだ8日目です

ELECTION AND EXCITEMENT IS SPREADING ACROSS THE COUNTRY IF

選挙と興奮は、国を越えて広がっている場合

BY EXCITEMENT YOU MEAN CORONAVIRUS.

興奮といえば コロナウイルスだな

'CAUSE, UH, YEAH.

'Cause, UH, YEAH.

THEY SAID THE FALL WOULD GET BAD, AND THEY WAS RIGHT.

堕落は悪いことになると言っていましたが、その通りでした。

WE ARE EIGHT MONTHS INTO THE PANDEMIC, AND WE'RE ALL TIRED OF

WE ARE EIGHT MONTHS INTO THE PANDEMIC, AND WE'RE ALL TIRED OF

IT.

ＩＴです。

I'VE ALREADY WATCHED EVERYTHING ON NETFLIX, EVERYTHING ON HULU

NETFLIXもHULUも全部見たよ

AND, IF ANYONE ASKS, EVERYTHING ON CBS ALL ACCESS.

そして、誰もが尋ねるならば、CBSのすべてのアクセス。

BUT EVEN THOUGH WE'RE TIRED OF THE VIRUS, IT'S STILL SUPER

しかし、私たちがウイルスに飽きたとしても、それはまだスーパーです。

INTERESTED IN US.

私たちに興味を持っています。

ON FRIDAY, THE U.S. HIT AN ALL-TIME HIGH IN NEW CORONAVIRUS

金曜日、米国はコロナウイルスの新種で過去最高を更新しました。

CASES.

ケースです。

IT'S APRIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

IT'S APRIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT "TIGER KING," WE'RE LEARNING HOW TO

"TIGER KING "の話をしていて、その方法を学んでいます。

REGROW OUR SCALLIONS, AND AS FAR AS WE KNOW, SMASH MOUTH HASN'T

私たちの頭蓋骨を成長させて、私たちが知る限りでは、スマッシュマウスはしていませんでした。

KILLED ANYONE YET!

まだ誰も殺してない！

HELL, WE'VE GOT SANJAY GUPTA ON TOMORROW!

明日はサンジェイ・グプタの出番だ！

THAT'S NEVER A GOOD SIGN!

THAT'S NEVER A GOOD SIGN!

I HOPE HE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW ALBUM!

彼がここに来てニューアルバムの話をしてくれることを期待しています。

GROOVIN' WITH GUPTA.

GROOVIN' WITH GUPTA.

GROUP-TA.

GROUP-TA。

HUH?

ハァッ？

NO?

NO？

THAT'S NOT IT?

それじゃないの？

>> SINGING WITH SANJAY.

>> サンジェイと一緒に歌う。

>> Stephen: THAT'S BETTER THAN GROOVING WITH GUPTA?

>> スティーブングプタと一緒にいるよりいいのか？

NOTHING FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY.

PEANUT GALLERYからは何もない。

I GOT HER OVER HERE.

彼女をここに連れてきた

TELLING ME WHETHER THE JOKES ARE GOOD OR NOT.

TELLING ME WHETHER THE JOKES ARE GOOD OR NOT.

OKAY, ENOUGH!

もういいわ！

( LAUGHTER ) WITH THESE RECORD NUMBERS, WE'VE

( LAUGHTER ) WITH THESE RECORD NUMBERS, WE'VE

OFFICIALLY ENTERED, THE THIRD WAVE OF COVID-19 IN THE U.S.

正式に米国でのCOVID-19の第3波に入りました

OKAY, BUT THAT'S A LITTLE MISLEADING, BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK

分かった、でもそれはちょっとミスリードだな、見てくれれば分かるが

AT THE CHART OF COVID WAVES, THE BOTTOM BEFORE THE THIRD WAVE IS

AT THE CHART OF COVID WAVES, THE BOTTOM BEFORE THE THIRD WAVE IS

AS HIGH AS THE CREST OF THE FIRST WAVE.

第一波の頂点のように高く。

IT'S NOT REALLY A THIRD WAVE IF THE FIRST WAVE NEVER ENDED.

IT'S NOT REALLY A THIRD WAVE IF THE FIRST WAVE NEVER ENDED.

IT'S LIKE HOW EVERY "ROCKY" MOVIE STARTS WITH THE END OF THE

IT'S LIKE HOW EVERY "ROCKY" MOVIE STARTS WITH THE END OF THE

LAST MOVIE.

ラストムービー。

SO THERE'S TECHNICALLY ONLY ONE, VERY LONG "ROCKY" MOVIE.

技術的には一本しかない、非常に長い "ROCKY "ムービーです。

AND JUST LIKE ROCKY, THE MAIN CHARACTER TALKS LIKE HE'S SPENT

そしてロッキーのように 主人公は自分が費やしてきたように話す

A LIFETIME GETTING PUNCHED IN THE HEAD.

一生、頭を殴られ続けた。

BUT THIS DISTURBING NEWS BRINGS US TO OUR NEWEST SEGMENT: "CATCH

"でも、この不穏なニュースは 私たちを新しいセグメントに連れて行きます"キャッチ

A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER."

A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER"

CORONA BUNGA DUDE!

CORONA BUNGA DUDE!

( LAUGHTER ) YOU WANTED ME TO REHEARSE THAT?

( LAUGHTER ) YOU WANTED ME TO REHEARSE THAT?

WE ALMOST HAD TO REHEARSE THAT.

ほとんどリハーサルしてたんだよ

( LAUGHTER ) WHAT, DO YOU THINK I COULDN'T

( LAUGHTER ) What, DO YOU THINK I COULDN'T I CAN'T と思う？

HANDLE THAT LEVEL OF DWRASK?

ドラスクのレベルをどうにかしてくれないか？

ARE WE GOING LONG RIGHT NOW?

ARE WE GOING LONG RIGHT NOW?

( LAUGHTER ) PART OF WHAT MAKES THIS LATEST

(笑) これが最新の理由の一部です。

WAVE OF THE FIRST WAVE SO HARD TO CONTAIN IS HOW WIDESPREAD IT

WAVE OF THE FIRST WAVE SO HARD TO CONTAIN IS HOW WIDESPREAD IT

IS.

ISです。

HOSPITALIZATIONS HAVE JUMPED IN AT LEAST 38 STATES IN THE PAST

ホスピタリゼーションは、過去に少なくとも38州で急上昇した

WEEK.

WEEK.

IN RESPONSE THIS WEEKEND, THE WHITE HOUSE DISPATCHED CHIEF OF

IN RESPONSE THIS WEEKEND, THE WHITE HOUSE DISPATCHED CHIEF OF

STAFF AND LAST BOY PICKED FOR THE WHITE FOOTBALL GAME, MARK

STAFF AND LAST BOY PICKED FOR THE WHITE FOOTBALL GAME, MARK

MEADOWS.

メドウズ

YESTERDAY, MEADOWS WENT ON CNN TO REASSURE A WORRIED NATION

YESTERDAY, MEADOWS WENT ON CNN TO REASSURE A WORRIED NATION

THAT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

THAT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO CONTROL THE PANDEMIC.

>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO CONTROL THE PANDEMIC.

>> STEPHEN: OKAY!

>>>>OKAY!

THAT WAS A SHORTER CLIP THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

思っていたよりも短いクリップでした。

( LAUGHTER ) OKAY!

( LAUGHTER ) OKAY!

SO AFTER EIGHT MONTHS OF NOT REALLY TRYING, NOW THEY'RE JUST

SO AFTER EIGHT MONTHS OF NOT REALLY TRYING, NOW THEY'RE JUST

GIVING UP.

諦めること。

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

それは良くない

IT'S LIKE IF "MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING" CHANGED ITS

IT'S LIKE IF "MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING" CHANGED ITS

NAME TO "MOTHERS WHO REALIZE, HEY, YOU GOTTA GET HOME FROM THE

名前を「現実化した母親たち」に変更しました。

BAR SOMEHOW!" OF COURSE, THE MOST INFECTIOUS

"BAR SOMEHOW!もちろん一番感染力が強いのは

PART OF THE COUNTRY IS THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

国の一部はトランプ政権です。

AT LEAST 30 PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH TRUMP CAUGHT THE VIRUS,

トランプと関連した少なくとも30人が ウイルスに感染しました

INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY THEMSELVES,

INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY THEMSELVES,

AND NOW AT LEAST FIVE OF VICE PRESIDENT PENCE'S AIDES

ペンス副大統領補佐官のエイドのうちの少なくとも5人

HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE VIRUS.

毒薬の陽性反応を確認しました

THE NEW INFECTIONS IN THE VICE PRESIDENT'S INNER CIRCLE INCLUDE

副大統領の内輪の新しい感染症が含まれている

HIS CHIEF OF STAFF, HIS TOP OUTSIDE POLITICAL ADVISER, AND

彼のチーフ・チーフ・スタッフ、彼のトップ・アウトサイド・ポリティカル・アドバイザー、そして

HIS "BODY MAN."

彼の "BODY MAN"

BY THE WAY, "BODY MAN" IS THE AIDE WHO IS WITH THE VICE

ところで、"ボディマン "とは、副大統領と一緒にいる補佐官のことです。

PRESIDENT AT ALL TIMES, AND NOT, AS I PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT, THE

いつでも大統領ではなく、私が以前考えていたように

LEAST POPULAR MEMBER OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.

司法団の中で最も一般的なメンバーだ

IRONICALLY, PENCE IS THE HEAD OF THE CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE.

IRONICALLY, PENCE IS THE HEAD OF THE CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT FIRE SAFETY P.S.A.

これを見ていると、あの火災安全警察を思い出します。

>> ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES 'CAUSE I'VE STOPPED

>> 山火事を防げるのはお前だけだ 俺が止めたんだから

TRYIN'!

TRYIN'!

( HYSTERICAL LAUGHING ) >> STEPHEN: SO FAR, PENCE HAS

( HYSTERICAL LAUGHING ) >> STEPHEN: SO FAR, PENCE HAS.

NOT TESTED POSITIVE, BUT THE C.D.C. RECOMMENDS PEOPLE STAY

肯定的にテストされていないが 疾病対策本部は人々が留まることを推奨している

HOME FOR 14 DAYS FOLLOWING POSSIBLE EXPOSURE.

14日間は家にいましたが、露出の可能性がありました。

BUT PENCE IS GOING TO KEEP CAMPAIGNING ANYWAY.

でもペンスはとにかくキャンペーンを続けている

THE WHITE HOUSE JUSTIFIES IT BY CLAIMING PENCE IS AN ESSENTIAL

ホワイトハウスは、刑罰が不可欠だと主張することで、それを正当化している。

WORKER.

WORKER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HE'S VICE PRESIDENT.

彼は副大統領だ

AT BEST, HE IS VICE ESSENTIAL.

せいぜい、彼は副次的に不可欠な存在です。

HE'S AMERICA'S SPARE TIRE.

彼はアメリカのスペアタイヤだ

YOU WANT HIM IN YOUR TRUNK, BUT YOU HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE

YOU WANT HIM IN YOUR TRUNK, BUT YOU HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE

HIM.

HIM.

F.D.R.'S VICE PRESIDENT, JOHN NANCE GARNER, WHO YOU NEVER

F.D.R.S.副社長 ジョン・ナンス・ガーナー あなたが決して知らない人

HEARD OF BECAUSE HE WAS VICE PRESIDENT, ONCE SAID, "THE VICE

彼が副大統領だったから聞いたことがありますが、かつては「副大統領」と言っていました。

PRESIDENCY IS NOT WORTH A BUCKET OF WARM SPIT."

大統領職は一袋の温かい唾にも値しない"

A BUCKET OF WARM SPIT IS I'M GUESSING WHAT PENCE GETS WHEN HE

一袋の温かい唾はペンスが何を得るか 想像してみる

ORDERS SOUP IN A RESTAURANT.

レストランでスープを注文する。

TRUMP ISN'T LETTING THE COVID SURGE STOP HIM FROM CAMPAIGNING.

トランプは、COVIDサージを止めていません キャンペーンから彼を停止します。

BETWEEN FRIDAY AND TODAY, HE HELD 11 CAMPAIGN EVENTS--

金曜日と今日の間に 11回のキャンペーンイベントを開催しました

INCLUDING NINE RALLIES-- IN SEVEN STATES: FLORIDA, NORTH

7つの州の9つの集会を含むフロリダ州、北部

CAROLINA, WISCONSIN, OHIO NEW HAMPSHIRE, MAINE, AND

カロリナ州、ウィスコンシン州、オハイオ州、ニューハンプシャー州、メイン州、および

PENNSYLVANIA, OR AS HISTORIANS WILL CALL THEM, "THE CORONA

PENNSYLVANIA, OR AS HISTORIANS WILL CALL THEM, "THE CORONA

BELT."

"ベルト"

HE SPENT THE WEEKEND BLAMING THE PANDEMIC ON THE MEDIA.

週末はメディアのパンデミックを非難していた

>> THEY PROLONGED THE PANDEMIC.

>> THEY PROLONGED THE PANDEMIC.

THAT'S ALL I HEAR ABOUT NOW.

今はそれしか聞いていない

THAT'S ALL I HEAR.

それが全てだ

TURN ON TELEVISION, COVID, COVID, COVID, COVID, COVID,

テレビをつけろ！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID！COVID

COVID.

COVID.

ON NOVEMBER 4th, YOU WON'T HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

11月4日には、もうその話は聞かなくなる。

>> Stephen: I WON'T, BECAUSE I WILL BE HUNG OVER.

>> スティーブン吊るされてしまうからダメなんだ

BUT TRUMP DIDN'T JUST RAIL ON THE MEDIA FOR TALKING ABOUT

しかし、TRUMPは、このことを話すためにメディアにレールを張るだけではありませんでした。

COVID, HE ALSO BLAMED THEM FOR HOW THEY TALK ABOUT ALL THE

COVID、彼はまた、彼らがどのようにすべてについて話すかについて彼らを非難しました。

NEW CASES: >> YOU USE THE WORD CASE BECAUSE

新しいケース>> ケースという言葉を使うのは、以下の理由からです。

YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE PEOPLE.

人を怖がらせようとしている。

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE.

人を怖がらせてはいけない。

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE.

人を怖がらせてはいけない。

THE FACT IS THAT WE'RE DOING VERY WELL.

THE FACT IS THAT WE'RE DOING VERY WELL.

NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS WE KNOW WHERE IT MAY BE.

NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS WE KNOW WHERE IT MAY BE.

THE BAD NEWS IS, ANYTIME YOU TEST, YOU'RE GOING TO COME UP

THE BAD NEWS IS, ANYTIME YOU TEST, YOU'RE GOING TO COME UP

WITH CASES.

ケース付き。

>> STEPHEN: SO, THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE KNOW WHERE IT IS.

>> >> だから、良いニュースは、それがどこにあるか知っているということです。

THE BAD NEWS IS: EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK.

THE BAD NEWS IS: EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK.

BUT AS UNIMPORTANT AS HE SAYS THIS PLAGUE IS, TRUMP ASSURED

しかし、彼は、このPLAGUEがあると言うように重要であるとして、トランプは保証した。

HIS SUPPORTERS THAT HE'S THE ONLY GUY TO HANDLE IT:

彼の支持者は、彼にしか対処できないと言っています。

>> WE UNDERSTAND THE DISEASE.

>> 私たちはこの病気を理解しています。

I UNDERSTAND IT BETTER THAN YOU.

私はあなたよりも理解している

I HAD IT.

私はそれを持っていた。

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, RIGHT?

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, RIGHT?

"SIR, YOU'VE TESTED POSITIVE."

"Sir, you've TESTED POSITIVE"

I SAID, "TESTED POSITIVE FOR WHAT?"

"何のためにテストされた？"と言ったんだ

>> STEPHEN: HOW MANY THINGS DOES HE GET

>> STEPHEN: HOW MANY THINGS DOES HE GET

TESTED FOR?

テスト対象は？

(AS TRUMP) "TESTED POSITIVE FOR WHAT?

(AS TRUMP) "TESTED POSITIVE FOR WHAT?

THE CLAP?

THE CLAP?

THE HERPS?

THE HERPS?

WHICH HEPATITIS DO I HAVE THIS TIME?

WHICH HEPATITIS DO I HAVE THIS TIME?

A, C-- I HOPE IT'S DOUBLE D'S."

A,C -- I HOPE IT'S IT'S DOUBLE D'S.

IT WASN'T ALL COVID.

IT WASN'T ALL COVID.

TRUMP ALSO TALKED ABOUT THE ELECTION AND TRIED TO APPEAL TO

トランプはまた、選挙について話したとに訴えようとした

AN IMPORTANT VOTING BLOCK: SENIORS.

重要な投票ブロック：上級生。

>> BIDEN'S PLAN WOULD MEAN AMERICA'S SENIORS HAVE NO AIR

>> >>バイデンの計画は、アメリカの高齢者には空気がないことを意味します。

CONDITIONING DURING THE SUMMER.

夏の間のコンディショニング。

NO HEAT DURING THE WINTER.

NO HEAT DURING THE WINTER.

AND NO ELECTRICITY DURING PEAK HOURS.

AND NO ELECTRICITY DURING PEAK HOURS.

IT'S TRUE.

本当だよ

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE STUFF UP TO

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE STUFF UP TO

SCARE THE OLDSTERS, WHY STOP THERE?

SCARE THE OLDSTERS, WHY STOP THERE?

NO HEAT, NO A.C., BIDEN'S GOING TO PIERCE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER'S

暖房なし A. C. なし バイデンはあなたの孫娘を 突き刺すために行っています

NOSE, HE'S GONNA CANCEL "WHEEL OF FORTUNE," HE'S GOING TO

ノーズ、彼は "運命の輪 "をキャンセルして、彼は行くつもりだ

OUTLAW THE CROCHETED THINGS YOU PUT OVER THE TOILET PAPER.

OUTLAW THE CROCHETED THINGS YOU PUT OVER THE TOILET PAPER.

THE TOILETTE PAPER IS GOING TO BE NAKED AND CATCH A COLD!

THE TOILETTE PAPER IS GOING TO BE NAKED AND CATCH A COLD!

IN ALAN HE HAD A CAMPAIGN PROMISE.

アランには選挙公約があった

>> I'D LOVE TO JUST DRIVE OUT OF HERE.

>> I'D LOVE TO JUST DRIVE OUT OF HERE.

JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS.

さっさと出て行ってくれ

I HAD SUCH A GOOD LIFE.

I HADCH A GOOD LIFE.

MY LIFE WAS GREAT.

私の人生は素晴らしかった

>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT, I THINK I SPEAK FOR MANY AMERICANS

>> スティーブン：MR.大統領、私は多くのアメリカ人のために話すと思います。

WHEN I SAY GET THE TRUCK