♪ ♪ ♪ >> WELCOME BACK.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> WELCOME BACK.

IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US, I'M SAM WATERSTON.

私はサム・ウォーターストンです

AND IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US NOW, HELLO, I'M SAM WATERSTON.

もしあなたが今参加しているなら こんにちは 私はサム・ウォーターストンです

SO FAR, WE HAVE SEEN STEPHEN COLBERT VALIANTLY COVER THE

SO FAR, WE HAVE SEEN STEPHEN COLBERT VALIANTLY COVER THE

CHAOTIC EARLY DAYS OF THIS CAMPAIGN.

このキャンペーンの初期の時期は 狂気に満ちていた

BUT WE NOW TURN TO-- ( "LAW & ORDER THEME SONG )

でも今は...

OH, SORRY.

ああ、ごめんね。

I SHOULD TAKE THIS.

I SHOULD TAKE THIS.

HELLO?

HELLO?

>> Stephen: HEY, SAM WATERSTON.

>> スティーブンヘイ、サム・ウォーターストン

>> STEPHEN!

〉>>STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: YEAH, I JUST TURNED ON MY TV, AND I SEE YOU'RE DOING

>> スティーブン：ああ、ちょうどテレビをつけたら、あなたがやっているのが見えたよ。

SOME KIND OF CLIP SHOW EPISODE OF MY SHOW, OR SOMETHING?

私のショーの何かの種類のクリップショーのエピソードか何か？

>> YOU GOT IT, BIG GUY.

>> お前がやれよ、大物。

>> Stephen: TONIGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A RERUN.

>> スティーブン今夜は再放送のはずだったのに

I DON'T KNOW WHO SIGNED OFF ON THIS OR WHO EVEN LET YOU IN THE

誰がサインしたのか 誰が入れたのか分からない

BUILDING DURING COVID, BUT I DID NOT AGREE TO--

COVIDの建設中だが、私は同意しなかった--

>> OOPS, DROPPED CALL.

>> おっと、コールを落としました。

ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING, WE NOW TURN TO STEPHEN COLBERT'S

とにかく、私が言っていたように、私たちは今、スティーブン・コルバートのものに変わります。

MONOLOGUES FROM MARCH OF THIS YEAR.

今年の３月のモノローグです。

THIS WAS WHEN THE CORONAVIRUS TOOK COLD IN AMERICA, FORCING

コロナウイルスがアメリカで寒冷化して、強制的に

PEOPLE TO QUARANTINE IN THEIR HOMES.

家の中でクオーランタインをする人たち。

AND COLBERT WAS FACED WITH THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF HIS

AND COLBERT WAS FACED WITH THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF HIS

PROFESSIONAL LIFE: DOING MONOLOGUE JOKES WITHOUT A TIE.

プロの生活：ネクタイなしでモノローグジョークをする。

TAKE A LOOK.

見てください。

DA-DA-DA-DOO-DOO.

ダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダダ。

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

>> スティーブンヘイ、みんな！

HI!

ハイ！

WELCOME TO MY BATHROOM.

私のバスルームへようこそ

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

あなたのホスト、ステファン・コルバートです。

YOU'RE WATCHING A VERY SPECIAL SOCIAL DISTANCING EDITION OF

YOU'RE WATCHING A VERY SPECIAL SOCIAL DISTANCING EDITION OF

"THE LATE SHOW"."

"THE LATE SHOW"."

THE BIG STORY TONIGHT IS, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE, PEOPLE ALL OVER

THE BIG STORY TONIGHT IS, ALL OF YOU PEOPLE, PEOPLE ALL OVER

AMERICA HAVE HUNKERED DOWN IN THEIR OWN HOUSES TO RIDE OUT THE

AMERICA HAVE HUNKERED DOWN IN THEIR OWN HOUSES TO RIDE OUT THE

CORONAVIRUS.

コロナビラス

THE C.D.C. IS SAYING THIS MIGHT GO ON FOR THE NEXT EIGHT WEEKS,

THE C.D.C. IS SAYING THIS MIGHT GO ON FOR THE NEXT EIGHT WEEKS,

SO GET COMFORTABLE.

SO GET COMFORTABLE.

TRY TO LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE-- YOU'RE FINALLY GOING TO GET A

TRY TO LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE-- YOU'RE FINALLY GOING TO GET A

CHANCE TO BINGE WATCH ALL THAT TOILET PAPER YOU BOUGHT.

CHANCE TO BINGE WATCH ALL THAT TOILET PAPER YOU BOUGHT.

AND YOU BETTER WATCH IT, JACK.

AND YOU BETTER WATCH IT, JACK.

BECAUSE I'M COMING FOR IT.

私はそれのために来ているから。

I DID NOT PLAN WELL.

I DID NOT PLAN WELL.

I AM COMING TO YOU FROM "THE LATE SHOW'S"ITARY" SET.

I AM COMING TO YOU FROM "THE LATE SHOW'S"ITARY" SET.

THE ED SULLIVAN MY HOUSE.

THE ED SULLIVAN MY HOUSE.

PLUS, NOW I'VE GOT TO WASH THE MONKEY'S 53 FOR 20 SECONDS.

さらに、今、私はモンキーの53番を20秒間洗わなければならない。

BIDEN PLANS TO CONTINUE CAMPAIGNING VIRTUALLY FROM HOME.

BIDEN PLANS TO CONTINUE CAMPAIGNING VIRTUALLY FROM HOME.

IT MAKES SENSE-- YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING: IF IT AIN'T BROKE,

IT MAKES SENSE-- YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING: IF IT AIN'T BROKE,

DON'T FIX IT.

直さないで

AND IF IT IS BROKE AND RISING IN THE POLLS, LOCK IT IN THE

そして、それが壊れていて、投票で上昇している場合は、それをロックします。

BASEMENT.

ベースメント

REPORTEDLY, THE REASON TRUMP WANTED THIS MEANINGFUL PHOTO IS

トランプがこの意味深な写真を欲しがったのは

BECAUSE HE WAS UPSET BY COVERAGE OF THE FACT THAT HE HAD BEEN

自分がされていたという事実の隠蔽に動揺していたからだ

RUSHED TO THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER ONED FROM NIGHT.

夜から地下のバンカーに運ばれた

ONE PROBLEM: THERE WAS A CROWD OF PEACEFUL PROTESTERS IN THE

一つの問題点：平和的な抗議者の群れが

WAY.

ウェイ

SO HE HAD MILITARY POLICE OPEN FIRE WITH RUBBER BULLETS, FLASH

それで彼は軍の警官に銃弾とフラッシュを撃たせたのか

GRENADE AND TEAR GAS.

GRENADE AND TEAR GAS.

NOT ONLY IS THAT A HORRIFIC HORR ABUSE OF THE OFFICE OF THE

それだけではなく、それは政府のオフィスの恐るべき悪用である。

PRESIDENCY AND OUR MILITARY.

PRESIDENCY AND OUR MILITARY.

THE TEAR GAS IS COMPLETE UNNECESSARY.

THE TEAR GAS IS COMPLETE UNNECESSARY.

WHEN PEOPLE SEE TRUMP WALKING TOWARD THEM DOWN THE STREET,

人々が道を歩いているトランプを見たら

THEY NATURALLY CRY AND VOMIT.

彼らは自然に泣いてボミットします。

IF TRUMP IS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BLAME, HE SHOULD CHECK OUT

トランプが誰かを非難する人を探しているなら、彼はチェックアウトすべきです。

HIS REFLECTION IN THE RIOT SHIELDS, BECAUSE THAT NEW POLL

彼の反省は、その新しい世論調査のために、暴徒の盾で、

ALSO SAYS 61% DISAPPROVEOF HIS HANDLING OF THE PROTESTS.

また、６１％は抗議の彼の扱いを否定しています。

THAT'S NOT FAIR.

フェアじゃない

HE'S HANDLING THEM JUST AS WELL AS HE HANDLES A BIBLE.

聖書を扱うのと同じように扱っている。

THIS DELAY IN THE RESULTS DOES NOT BODY WELL FOR NOVEMBER.

この結果の遅れは、11月のために体調を崩すことはありません。

BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT FEELING YOU HAD BETWEEN 9:00 P.M. AND

午後9時からの間にあった感情を 知っているからだ

MIDNIGHT ON ELECTION NIGHT?

MIDNIGHT ON ELECTION NIGHT?

GT READY TO BE THAT DRUNK FOR FIVE DAYS.

GT READY TO BE THAT DRUNK FOR FIVE DAYS.

THE POINT IS THIS ELECTION IS NOT GOING TO BE A SPRINT.

ポイントは、この選挙はスプリントであることを行っていないということです。

IT'S GOING TO BE A MARATHON IN THAT BEFORE IT'S OVER, YOU'RE

マラソン大会が終わる前に、あなたは

GOING TO BE POOPING YOUR PANTS AND YOUR NIPPLES ARE GOING TO BE

GOING TO BE POOPING YOUR PANTS AND YOUR NIPPLES ARE GOING TO BE

BLEEDING.

血が出てる

I'M BACK IN NEW YORK CITY, AS YOU CAN SEE, LOOK.

ニューヨーク市に戻ってきました 見ての通り、見てください。

IT'S NEW YORK.

ニューヨークだ

RIGHT THERE.

RIGHT THERE.

HERE, IN THE HISTORIC ED SULLIVAN THEATER'S OFFICE

ここ、歴史的なエド・サリバン劇場のオフィスでは

BUILDING.

建物

I GOT-- I GOT MY DESK CALENDAR RIGHT HERE.

私は...私の机のカレンダーをここに持ってきました。

MARCH 12.

ＭＡＲＣＨ１２日

JUST LEFT IT RIGHT HERE, HAVEN'T CHANGED IT SINCE WE LEFT.

JUST LEFT IT RIGHT HERE, HAVEN'T CHANGED IT SINCE WE LEFT.

THAT WAS THE LAST NIGHT, RIGHT, MARCH 12, IN THE STUDIO?

最後の夜だった ３月１２日 スタジオで？

THERE IT IS.

そこにある

OKAY?

いいですか？

I'LL JUST-- I'LL UPDATE THAT RIGHT NOW.

I'LL JUST-- I'LL UPDATE THAT RIGHT NOW.

OKAY.

分かった

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE...

何が起こっているのか分からない...

( LAUGHTER ) OKAY THAT-- THAT-- THAT FEELS

( LAUGHTER ) オーケー、それは...それは...それは感じます。

ABOUT RIGHT.

ABOUT RIGHT.

FEELS ABOUT RIGHT.

FEELS ABOUT RIGHT.

THIS IS AN HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT BECAUSE HARRIS IS THE FIRST

THIS IS AN HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT BECAUSE HARRIS IS THE FIRST

BLACK WOMAN AND THE FIRST PERSON OF INDIAN DESCENT TO BE

BLACK WOMAN AND THE FIRST PERSON OF INDIAN DESCENT TO BE

NOMINATED FOR NATIONAL OFFICE BY A MAJOR PARTY.

主要政党から国政選挙で指名された。

SO TRUMP'S GOING TO HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING EXACTLY HOW TO BE

トランプはどうあるべきかを 決めるのに苦労している

RACIST ABOUT HER.

彼女についてのレイシスト。

"I DEMAND TO SEE BOTH OF HER BIRTHDAY CERTIFICATES."

"I DEMAND TO SEE BOTH OF HER BIRTHDAY CERTIFICATES."

>> SHE WAS EXTRAORDINARILY NASTY.

>> 彼女は非常に嫌な女だった。

SHE WAS NASTY TO A LEVEL THAT WAS JUST A HORRIBLE THING.

彼女はひどいレベルで嫌なことをした。

SHE WAS PROBABLY NASTIER-- SHE WAS VERY, VERY NASTY.

彼女は恐らくもっと鼻がきつかった...彼女はとても、とても、とても鼻がきつかった。

>> Stephen: OH, MY GOD!

>> スティーブン何てこった！

HOW LAZY ARE YOU?

HOW LAZY ARE YOU?

YOU'RE JUST REPEATING WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HILLARY.

ヒラリーについて言ったことを 繰り返すだけだな

YOU'RE STUCK IN 2016, AND THAT'S NOT FAIR.

2016年に疲れている、それはフェアではない。

WHY SHOULD YOU BE THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO LIVE IN A TIME WHEN

WHY SHOULD YOU BE THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS TO LIVE IN A TIME WHEN

YOU'RE NOT PRESIDENT!

お前は大統領じゃない！

ONE PERSON TRUMP THINKS HARRIS WAS PARTICULARLY NASTY TO IS HER

TRUMPがハリスが特に嫌な思いをしたと思っているのは彼女です。

NEW RUNNING MATE.

新しいランニングメイト

>> SHE SAID THINGS DURING THE DEBATES, DURING THE DEMOCRAT

>> 討論会でも民主主義者の間でも 彼女は発言した

PRIMARY DEBATES THAT WERE HORRIBLE ABOUT SLEEPY JOE, AND I

PRIMARY DEBATES THAT WERE HORRIBERE ABOUT SLEEPY JOE, AND I

WOULD THINK THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE PICKED HER.

WOULD THINK THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE PICKED HER.

>> Stephen: IT IS TRUE.

>> スティーブンそれは真実だ

DURING THE DEBATES, KAMALA HARRIS SPANKED BIDEN, AND TRUMP

討論会の最中に、KAMALA HARRISはBIDENを罰し、そしてTRUMPは

WOULD NEVER WORK WITH A WOMAN WHO DID THAT TO HIM FOR FREE.

タダで彼にした女性とは 決して働きたくない

FOLKS, FOR FOUR YEARS, WE'VE LOOKED ON IN HORROR AS DONALD

皆さん、この4年間、私たちは恐怖の中で ドナルドを見守ってきました。

TRUMP TORE DOWN EVERY NORM IN AMERICAN LIFE FROM THE

トランプは、ダウンアメリカの生活の中ですべての規範を引き裂いたから

CONSTITUTION TO ENGLISH SYNTAX TO THE DEFINITION OF FOOD

食品の定義に対する英語構文の規定

PYRAMID.

ピラミッド

WELL, TONIGHT, TONIGHT THE DEMOCRATS BEGIN WHAT JOE BIDEN

WELL, TONIGHT, TONIGHT THE DEMOCRATS BEGIN WHAT JOE BIDEN

HAS CALLED "A BATTLE FOR THE SOUL OF THIS NATION."

"この国の魂の戦い "と呼んでいます

BUT THAT WE'RE CALLING...

でも私たちが呼んでいるのは...

>> DEMOCRATS ASSEMBLE.

>> 民主党員が集まっている。

>> ARE YOU READY SNO TO GO!

>> ARE YOU READY SNO TO GO!

>> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV.

>> 人、女、男、カメラ、テレビ。

>> PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV.

>> 人、女、男、カメラ、テレビ。

>> Stephen: SO BEAUTIFUL.

>> Stephen: SO BEAUTIFUL.

>> SO GREAT!

>> オングレート!

>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF JOHN KASICH, THE FORMER REPUBLICAN

>> スティーブン：元共和党員のカシッチを語る

GOVERNOR OF OHIO WAS ONE OF THE SPEAKERS TONIGHT.

オハイオ州知事が 今夜の演説者の一人でした

HE WAS THERE TO UNDERLINE THE THEME OF THIS CONVENTION

HE WAS THERE TO UNDERLINE THE THEME OF THIS CONVENTION

"UNITING AMERICA."

"ＵＮＩＴＩＮＧ ＡＭＥＲＩＣＡ"

SLIGHTLY MORE INSPIRING THAN THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION THEME "GAS

SLIGHTLY MORE INSPIRING THAN THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION THEME "GAS

PROTESTERS AND THROW MAILBOXES INTO THE SEA."

"抗議者と郵便箱を海に投げ込む"

IN LIEU OF A PLATFORM THE RNC RELEASED A RESOLUTION OF THE

RNCは、プラットフォームの代わりにRNCの決議案を発表した。

UNDYING SUPPORT OF TRUMP.

トランプの支持を受けています。

THAT'S NOT A PARTY.

それはパーティーじゃない

IT'S A CULT!

IT'S A CULT!

"WELCOME TO THE CONVENTION, EVERYBODY.

"WELCOME TO THE CONVENTION, EVERYBODY.

TAKE OFF YOUR MA MASKS AND PUT O YOUR MATCHY NIKES AND MAGA HATS.

TAKE OFF YOUR MA MASKS AND PUT O YOUR MATCHY NIKES AND MAGA HATS.

THEN DRINK UP YOUR KOOL-AID.

THEN DRINK UP YOUR KOOL-AID.

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LEADERS AND FIGHTERS FOR LIBERTY AND THE

>> 紳士淑女、自由と闘うリーダーと戦士たち

AMERICAN DREAM.

アメリカンドリーム

THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IS THE LOUD LADY

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: The LOUD LADY.

GONE?

GONE?

I'M SCARED!

怖いよ！

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'VE HAD TO TURN DOWN THE

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I'VE HAD TO TURN DOWN THE

VOLUME ON C-SPAN.

Ｃ-ＳＰＡＮのＶＯＬＵＭＥ。

I'M GLAD WE ALREADY HAD OUR KIDS BECAUSE I THINK I WAS TOO CLOSE

私たちはすでに私たちの子供を持っていたので、私は私があまりにも近くにいたと思うので嬉しいです。

TO THE TV.

テレビに。

I MIGHT HAVE BEEN STERILIZED BY THAT.

I MIGHT HAVE BEEN STERILIZED BY THAT.

( LAUGHTER ) IT ALL BUILT TO A CRESCENDO WHEN

(笑) それは全てが危機的状況に陥った時に

TIM SCOTT FINISHED SPEAKING FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE END OF THE

ティム・スコットは終了5分前にスピーチを終えました。

RESIDENTIAL RUN TIME.

RESIDENTIAL RUN TIME。

SO THEY JUST SHOWED "B" ROLL OF THE WHITE HOUSE.

SO THEY JUST SHOWED "B" ROLL OF THE WHITE HOUSE.

IT ENDED EARLY!

早く終わった！

I CAN'T IMAGINE THE CHAOS IN THE CONTROL ROOM.

I CAN'T IMAGINE THE CHAOS IN THE CONTROL ROOM.

"WHAT?

"WHAT?

FIVE-- WE CAN'T WASTE FIVE MINUTES OF PRIME TIME.

5... 5分間のゴールデンタイムを 無駄にしてはいけない

QUICK, SEND GUILFOYLE OUT THERE FOR SOME FREE SCREAM!

ギルフォイルを送ってくれ無料のスクリームを！

HELLO, I NEED AN OBJECT AND THE REASON THE DEMOCRATS ARE

民主党が存在する理由と目的が必要なんだが

DESTROYING IT.

それを破壊する。

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

BASED ON YOUR SUGGESTION OF CHIA PET AND SHARIA LOVE, WE TAKE YOU

BASED ON YOUR SUGGESTION OF CHIA PET AND SHARIA LOVE, WE TAKE YOU

TO MY LARYNX.

TO MY LARYNX.

ALL I CAN SAY-- AND THIS IS ALL I CAN SAY-- IS THAT WHEN IT

私が言えるのは...これが私が言えるのは...それは...

COMES TO DONALD TRUMP, I HOPE GETTING OUT EARLY IS A TREND

DONALD TRUMPは、私は早く出て行くことがトレンドであることを願っています。

THAT CONTINUES IN NOVEMBER.

それは11月に続きます。

>> COMING UP, "THE LATE SHOW'S"" BEST CAMPAIGN MOMENTS IN THE

>> 「レイトショー」を紹介します。世界で最も優れたキャンペーン・モーメント

FIELD.

FIELD.