CAN YOU HEAR ME?

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

CAN EVERYONE HEAR ME?

誰もが私の声を聞くことができますか？

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M MUTED?

ミュートされているかどうかを知るには？

>> JAMES: WE CAN HEAR YOU.

>> JAMES: WE CAN HEAR YOU.

>> GREAT.

>> 凄いですね。

SO, LOOK, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

ここに来てくれてありがとう

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

どこから始めればいいのかわからない。

WHAT HAPPENED, GUYS?

WHAT HAPPENED, GUYS?

>> I'M SHELL SHOCKED.

>> I'M SHELL SHOCKED.

>> TOTALLY.

>> 全くもって。

SHELL SHOCKED.

SHELL SHOCKED.

>> JAMES: I AM ALSO SHELL SHOCKED.

>> JAMES: I AMSO SHELL SHOCKED.

>> I'M SUPER DUPER, SUPER DUPER SHELL SHOCKED.

>> I'M SUPER DUPER, SUPER DUPER SHELL SHOCKED.

>> THERE'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE WORKING

>> THERE'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE WORKING

FROM HOME AND WE DROPPED THE BALL.

ホームから、私たちはボールを落としました。

THIS SHOULD BE OUR MOMENT.

これは私たちの瞬間であるべきです。

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED?

>> I... NO IDEA.

>> I...NO IDEA.

>> JAMES: IT'S LIKE... 2020, MAN.

>> >> >> >>2020年、MAN。

YOU KNOW?

知ってるのか？

>> WE ARE SKYPE, PEOPLE!

>> WE ARE SKYPE, PEOPLE!

SKYPE!

SKYPE!

AS RECENTLY AS FEBRUARY, WE WERE A VERB!

2月に入ってからは "動詞 "になった！

WE WERE THE THING.

WE WERE THE THING.

"HEY, ARE YOU COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?"

"HEY, ARE YOU COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?"

"I CAN'T, I'M IN JOSHUA TREE WITH MY AUNT, BUT I CAN SKYPE

"I CAN'T, I'M IN JOSHUA TREE WITH MY AUNT, BUT I CAN SKYPE

IN."

"IN"

"OH, EVEN BETTER."

"ああ、もっといい"

WHERE DID THAT GO?

それはどこに行ったの？

>> JAMES: I THINK IT WAS-- >> NO, DON'T YOU SAY IT.

>> それは... >> いや、言わないでくれ。

>> OH, YOU MEAN, Z-- >> DON'T YOU DARE SAY, "ZOOM."

>> "ズーム "なんて言わないでよ

>> JAMES: IT'S JUST REALLY HARD TO ANSWER THAT WITHOUT SAYING

>> それを言わずに答えるのは本当に難しいです。

ZOOM.

ZOOM.

I MEAN, EVERYONE LOVES ZOOM.

誰もがズームが好きなんだ

ZOOM MEETINGS.

ZOOM MEETINGS.

>> ZOOM TRIVIA NIGHTS.

>> ZOOM TRIVIA NIGHTS.

>> ZOOM HAPPY HOURS.

>> ZOOM HAPPY HOURS.

>> ZOOM COURT HEARINGS TO GET CUSTODY OVER YOUR GOLDENDOODLE

>> ZOOM COURT HEARINGS TO GET CUSTODY OVER YOUR GOLDENDOODLE

"MUGSY" FROM YOUR WORTHLESS EX-FIANCE, STUART.

"MUGSY" FROM YOUR WORTHLESS EX-FIANCE, STUART.

UGH, ZOOM'S THE WORST.

うわー、ズームは最悪。

>> JAMES: HONESTLY, VIDEO CHAT SHOULDN'T BE EASY.

>> JAMES: HONESTLY, VIDEO CHAT SHOULDN'T BE EASY.

IF IT DOESN'T TAKE AT LEAST 25 MINUTES TO SET-UP, I'M NOT

セットアップに少なくとも25分かかるのでなければ、私はしません。

INTERESTED.

INTERESTED.

I DON'T TRUST IT.

信用できない

>> LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ZOOM IS.

>> ZOOMが何なのか分からない。

WHAT IS THAT, LIKE A VENGA BOYS SONG?

WHAT IS THAT, LIKE A VENGA BOYS SONG?

>> NO, IT'S THE COMPANY THAT'S BEATING US IN EVERY SINGLE

>> 全ての面で私たちを負かしているのは会社なのです

NON-GRANDMOTHER-RELATED DEMOGRAPHIC!

NON-GRANDMOTHER-RELATED DEMOGRAPHIC!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

理解できないわ

WHAT HAVE THEY GOT THAT WE DON'T?

WHAT HAVE THEY GOT THAT WE DON'T?

>> IT'S INEXPLICABLE.

>> それは不可解なんだよ。

>> WELL, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING!

>> 何かあるんじゃないの？

>> JAMES: TREVOR?

>> >> JAMES: TREVOR?

TREVOR...

トレバー...

TREVOR.

トレバー

TREV!

TREV!

I THINK HE'S FROZEN.

凍ってるんじゃないかな

>> HUH?

>> ｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

OH, NO, SORRY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE VENGA BOYS.

ああ、いや、ごめんね、僕はヴェンガ・ボーイズのことを考えていたんだ。

I'VE GOT NOTHING.

何もない

>> IF I CAN JUMP IN HERE, ZOOM DOES HAVE SOME PRETTY COOL

>> ここにジャンプできるならば、ZOOMにはとてもクールなものがあります。

FEATURES.

FEATURES.

I MEAN, NOT COOL, I PERSONALLY HATE THEM, BUT, LIKE, YOU CAN

個人的には嫌いなんだけど、でも、そうなんだよね。

CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND.

CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND.

>> YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND WITH SKYPE!

>> YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND WITH SKYPE!

WATCH!

WATCH!

THERE!

そこだ！

NEW BACKGROUND!

新しい背景!

>> JAMES: YOU JUST GOT UP AND MOVED YOUR COMPUTER.

>> JAMES: YOU JUST GOT UP AND MOVED YOUR COMPUTER.

>> YEAH, EXACTLY.

>> そうですね。

I SWITCHED BACKGROUNDS.

背景を入れ替えた

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

>> JAMES: OKAY, BUT IF YOU WANT A TROPICAL ISLAND AS YOUR

>> しかし、もし、あなたが熱帯の島を自分のものにしたいとしたら、その島は、あなたのものになるでしょう。

BACKGROUND, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY FLY TO A TROPICAL ISLAND.

BACKGROUND, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY FLY TO A TROPICAL ISLAND.

>> DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A PROBLEM TO ME!

>> 問題があるようには思えない!

>> JAMES: WHERE'S OUR HEAD OF MARKETING?

>> JAMES: WHERE'S OUR HEAD OF MARKETING?

HE SHOULD BE ALL OVER THIS.

HE SHOULD BE ALL OVER THIS.

HAS ANYONE SEEN LOUIS?

誰かルイを見た人は？

>> HE SHOULD BE HERE.

>> 彼はここにいるべきだ。

LET ME TEXT HIM.

彼にメールさせて

>> SORRY, I HAD THE WRONG ZOOM ROOM-- NOT ZOOM ROOM, I MEAN,

>> ズームルームを間違えていました ズームルームではありません。

SKYPE ROOM...

スカイプルーム...

>> OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THE PROBLEM!

>> 仝仝あーあ、これが問題なんだ。

>> EXACTLY.

>> その通りです。

SKYPE DOESN'T RHYME WITH ROOM.

スカイプは部屋とリズムが合わない。

>> THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

それは私が話していることではありません！ >> >> それは私が話していることではありません！ >> それは私が話していることです。

>> WHAT IF WE ADDED A CHAT FEATURE?

>> WHAT IF WE ADDED A CHAT FEATURE?

>> ZOOM HAS IT.

>> ZOOM HAS IT.

>> RECORDING?

>> RECORDING?

>> ZOOM HAS IT.

>> ZOOM HAS IT.

>> JAMES: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ZOOM DOESN'T HAVE.

>> JAMES: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ZOOM DOESN'T HAVE.

THEY DON'T HAVE A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

彼らにはファンキーなジングルがないんだ

DO YOU HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE WHEN YOU ZOOM SOMEONE?

DO YOU HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE WHEN YOU ZOOM SOMEONE?

YOU DON'T HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

ファンキーなジングルは聞こえないぞ

PLAY OUR FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

PLAY OUR FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.

(SKYPE JINGLE) YAY!

（SKYPE JINGLE）イェーイ！

>> I LOVE THAT SONG.

>>I LOVE THAT SONG.

>> IT HONESTLY SAVED MY LIFE.

>> IT HONESTLY SAVED MY LIFE.

>> IT'S SO GOOD.

>> 凄く良いですよね。

(EVERYONE SINGING SKYPE JINGLE) >> GUYS, STOP, STOP.

(全員がスカイプジンガーを歌う) >> GUYS, STOP, STOP.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

これはひどい

THIS IS THE WORST YEAR EVER.

THIS IS THE WORST YEAR EVER.

NO ONE'S NAME HAS TAKEN A HARDER HIT THAN US.

誰の名前も、私たちよりもハードヒットしていません。

>> NOBODY?

>>誰もいないのか？

>> OH.

>> ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)

YEAH.

ああ

SORRY KAREN.

ごめんね

EXCEPT YOU.

君以外はね

>> SORRY, KAREN.

>> >>Sorry, KAREN.

>> I'M SO SORRY, KAREN.

>> I'M SO SORRY, KAREN.

ARE YOU DOING OKAY?

ARE YOU DOING OKAY?

>> I CAN'T COMPLAIN.

>> 文句のつけようがない。

LITERALLY, I CAN'T COMPLAIN, EVER AGAIN.

文字通り、私は文句を言うことはできません、これまでに二度と。

>> ALRIGHT EVERYONE, FOCUS.

>> ALRIGHT EVERYONE, FOCUS.

HOW DO WE WIN BACK THE HEARTS AND THE SCREENS OF AMERICA?

私たちはどうやってアメリカの心と画面を取り戻すのか？

>> OKAY, WHAT DOES EVERYONE LOVE?

>> OKAY, WHAT DOES EVERYONE LOVE?

FREE STUFF AND VACATIONS.

無料の荷物と旅行。

>> JAMES: YES.

>> JAMES: はい。

>> SO WHAT IF EVERY TIME SOMEBODY NEW SIGNS UP FOR

>> SO WHAT IF EVERY TIME SOMEBODY NEW SIGNS UP FOR

SKYPE...

スカイプ...

>> JAMES: YES.

>> JAMES: はい。

>> -- THEY'RE ENTERED INTO A RAFFLE TO WIN A FREE VACATION...

>> -- THEY'RE ENTERED INTO A RAFFLE TO WIN A FREE VACATION...

>> JAMES: LOVE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.

>> JAMES: LOVE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.

>> ON A CARNIVAL CRUISE.

>> カーニバルクルーズで。

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.

WHOA、WHOA、WAIT。

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE SAYING THE WAY TO SAVE SKYPE DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC

YOU'RE SAYING THE WAY TO SAVE SKYPE DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC

IS TO GIVE OUR CUSTOMERS FREE TRIPS ON A CRUISE SHIP?

お客様にクルーズ船の無料旅行を提供することですか？

>> YES.

>> ＹＥＳ！＞＞＞＞＞＞＞＞ＹＥＳ

>> THAT'S GENIUS!

>> THAT'S GENIUS!

LET'S GET THE CONTRACT GOING.

LET'S GET THE CONTRACT GOING.

I GOTTA JUMP OFF.

THE GOTA JUMP OFF。

I HAVE A ZOOM WORKOUT WITH MY TRAINER IN FIVE, THEN I GOTTA

I HAVE A ZOOM WORKOUT WITH MY TRAINER IN FIVE, THEN I GOTTA

FACETIME MY KIDS.

FACETIME MY KIDS.

MEETING ADJOURNED!

会議は中断されました！

WE'RE BACK, BABY!

WE RE BACK, BABY!

(CHEERS) >> James: WE'RE BACK, BABY,

(CHEERS) >> ジェームズ.WE RE BACK, BABY.

YEAH!

イェーッ！

GREAT MEETING, GUYS.

会えてよかったよ

>> HOW TO I GET OUT OF HERE.

>> ここから出るにはどうすればいいのか。

STILL SEE ME?

まだ俺が見えるか？

IS IT LIKE A HOAX?

それはホークのようなものですか？

>> James: IT'S A MEETING.

>> ジェームス会議だ

LET'S END THE MEETING.

会議を終わりにしましょう

( TALKING AT THE SAME TIME ) >> James: HOST.

( TALKING AT THE SAME TIME ) >> ジェームズ.HOST.

THE HOST HAS TO END THE MEETING!

ホストは会議を終わらせなければならない！