*burp*

おっはようございまああす

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JACKSEPTICEYEだ！

What the fuck is this.

おっはようございまああす

*WAPOOSH*

俺はJACKSEPTIC

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES.

*笑*

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE AND WELCOME BACK

おもろいな

*yelling*

*泣*

*WAPOOSH*

お水　どこいった

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

信じられん...

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTIC--

みんな思ってる

*snickers*

俺がブスだと…

*pot8oes yelling*

「お前ブスだな」

*laughs*

「お前ブスやな」

Oh.. that's good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

「Pewdiepieってほんとジジイでブスだよね」

*emotional music plays*

「お前まじでブッサイクやで」

*crying*

「髭剃れ」

*sob*

「なんでそんなブスなの？」

SQUIRREL!

「PewDiePieはブスだ」

Where's the water when you need it..?

「俺の手f …

I can't believe this..

…もほんと醜い　殺してくれ　ありがとう」

People think..

ブス…

..I'm ugly :(

なんで皆俺がブスだと思うの？

"U ugly."

俺のデカい鼻のせいか？

"You're ugly."

俺の自分勝手すぎる態度のせいか？

"Pewdiepie is so old n ugly."

俺のきもい

Ohhh.. "You look ugly af."

魅力的じゃない性格のせいか？

"Pls shave."

ちょっと待てよ

OH NO U DIDN'T!

なんだこれは

Ugly..

なんて魅力的な人たちなんだ

"Why you so ugly..?" (I'M HANDSOME BITCH)

美しい

"Pewdiepie is so ugly my..

俺もこんなふうに生まれたかった

HANDSSSF

なんで俺はこんなスウェーデン顔に生まれたんだ

..are so ugly please kill me thank you."

美しい

*PRAYS TO HARAMBE WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS*

輝いてる

perfect

超かわいい

UGLY

かわいい！

These subtitles are Dank, but pewds looks down and doesnt approve.

おおおおおおおおお

Why does everyone think I'm ugly? (Not me :3)

18位だ！

Is it my gigantic nose?

18！

(Pewds, u beautiful)

18、ニガ…

Is it my inflated ego?

ベッカムのすぐ次なのかい、ふぅん？

Is it my disgusting..

ベッカムの次だ

..unattractive personality?

なんで1位じゃないんだ？

Wait a minute..

「どうしたらzaynは91位でpewdiepieは18位になるんだ ふざけんなよ」

What is this?

Zaynがクソみたいだからだ

It's a Youtube video innit?

18位のハンサム？

Look at all these attractive people! (Why am i not fking on this)

*笑*

Look at the-- beautiful!

"Pewdiepie 18 ? ?? ? ? ? XDXDXDXD"

I'll never be this beautiful!

うるせぇよ

Why was I born with this Swedish face?

そうだぞアンチ共、俺はクソ美しいんだ

Beautiful..

あぁ　分かった

Absolutely stunning..

お前ら嫉妬してんだろ

So cute..!

自分がブスだからって

So cute!

分かったよ

OOOOOOOOOOO (AND U SAID I WAS UGLY BISH, U WRONG!) R.I.P Headphone users

俺は才能にあふれてるが どれも俺の美しさには負ける

*Heroic Music*

*笑*

EIGHTEEN

冗談だよ　いいか？

EIGHTEEN

いや　そんなことない

EIGHTEEN NIGG- (How dare I)

全然

Oh, RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM, HUH?

マジだよ

RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM

お前らが助けを必要としてる事が分かった

Hey, why am I not number one? (Robbie Rotton confirmed)

それで　俺はフォトショップの達人だからさ

"How Zayn is at 91 and Pewdiepie is at 18 what the fuck is this."

望みを聞いてやる

[...](bruh)

お前らが自信を持てるようにしてやるよ

C'AUSE ZAYN, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT~~(Roasting Zayn)

お前らに感じて欲しいからだ

EIGHTEEN, HUH?

まるで俺になったような気分を

*laughing*

お前らを満足させたい

"Pewdiepie 18 ? ?? ? ? ? XDXDXDXD"

やってみよう

For fuck's sake..

「pewdiepieさん、口をください！」

Okay?

いいだろう　朝飯前さ

That's right haters, I'm fucking beautiful.

ワオ

And you know, I get it.

とってもイケメンだな

You guys-- you guys get jealous.

どういたしまして

..of how you look.

なんで口が無かったのか知らんが　ついたぞ

I get it, but you know!

だがク○ニはするな…

I have many talents, not beyond my beautiful face. (If u know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

「ピューディーパイ　私をエモ系にして」

*laughs*

いいよ

I'm joking. Okay?

やれるさ

Not really.

完成だ

At all.

もうできたぜ

I'm not joking.

どうじゃ～～

Alright, so I realize that you guys many need a little bit of help.

何があるかな

And, uh, you know, I'm pretty good with Photoshop!

「僕の夢は洗濯機みたいな見た目になること」

So, I'll take some requests!

わかったよ

I'll try to help you guys feel better about yourself.

やれるとおもうよ

'Cause I want you to feel just as fulfilled as..

よし　この口を…

..as, uh, as I am.

めっちゃでかくしよう

I wanna satisfy you bros.

ポップな感じで

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

うわ

Let's go!

どうだ

"Pewdiepie, give me a mouth!"

お前は洗濯機だ

'Kay, well that should be easy.

どういたしまして

(Challenge accepted)

俺は皆の夢を叶えてやれる

TIMEWARP!!!!!!

かっこいいぞ

Wow! That--

…前の方が

That looks so good..!

「私を触手プレイAVみたいにして」

You're welcome! (Why did i choose a shark idk im meme)

わかった

I don't know why you didn't have a mouth, but now you do.

いいよ

Just don't eat that pussayy.. Its for me

えっと　俺はファンの事を…

"Pewdiepie, make me emo."

みためで馬鹿にすることはないけど

Alright.

でもこの眉毛は…

I can do that.

運動場のトラックみたいだな

Alright, done!

タケシの眉毛みたいだよな

We're-- alright-- we're done here.

つなげた方がいいよね？

ROASTED (Ight whos next bitches)

君のそばかす…

Alright, what else do we got?

ちょっとタコを思い出すな

"My dream is to look like a washing machine."

タコと同じような肌の質感だよね

Okay.

彼女の願いは　触手AVみたいになることだ

That can be arranged.

だから…

TIMEWARP!!!

俺にそのチャンスを奪う権利は無いよ

Das a nice washing machine Dawg!

光栄だ

Alright, then we just gotta--

できた

Make it real big.

お前は触手AVだ

Make it real-- real pop. (What am i doing)

もうどっかいって

Oh god.

うぇ

We're-- There you go!

きっも！！

You're a washing machine!

ああこれが元の顔か　忘れてた

You're welcome!

「フィルをもっと美しくして…いや無理か だって彼は完璧だもの」

I make peoples' dreams come true, dammit.

言わせてもらうけど

I think you look way better..

フィルは2016年のイケメンリストで18位だったか？

..before.

そんなことないだろ

"Make me into tentacle porn please."

よし　フィル

Fine.

美しくなりたいか？

Fine! Alright!

美しくしてやる

You know, I wouldn't criticize other--

クソゴージャスにしてやるよ

My fans' physical appearance but I--

おやおや　お鼻はどこかな？

These eyebrows..

どこいったのォ？

They look like a race track! (ZOOM ZOOM BISH)

あ　フィル…

*Pewds making a masterpiece as always*

じゃなくて「鼻顔」ってか

It kind of reminds me of the eyebrows of Brock.

（ドヤ）

*akward silence*

う～わ～

Should they connect? I think they should.

なんだよ　お前～

*Pewds concentraiting hard*

うえ　鼻の穴野郎だ～

ANIMUUUUUU!!! (◕‿◕✿) so kawaii!!!

その鼻の穴　どこで整形したの？

You-- Your freckles though does remind me..

次いくか…

They remind me a little bit of an octopus.

「彼をもっと美しくして（すでにお前より美しいけどな）」

You know, they have the same kind of octopus skin texture.

言わせてもらうよぉ

Her wish was, in fact, to be a tentacle porn.

ジャックはリストに居たか～？

So.

そんなことないね

Who am I to rob her of that?

どうしてやろうかな

Privilege.

カワイ～～～

Okay, there you go.

カワイイ～～～！

You're a tentacle porn.

コイツのケツを犯してやりしたいぜ～♂

Just get the fuck out now.

めっちゃカワイイ～～！！

Fuck's sake.

うえ　キモ～

DISGUSTING

めっちゃヘン

*chuckling* Oh, that's how she looked like. I forgot.

「おっはよおおうレディーさんたち～」

"Make Phil more beautiful. Oh wait. You can't. He's perfect."

「わしの名は…」

Oh, I'm sorry.

うん　ごめん

Is Phil ranked eighteen on 2016's list?! [he should be] {now, now, this issue should be left for Tumblr, not YouTube}

ちょっと脱線したな

Didn't think so.

「お前の顔をしたKazoo Kid」

Alright, Phil.

Kazoo Kidと俺がマジ似だってか？

You wanna be beautiful?

黙りやがれ

I'll make you beautiful. (Okay im lying)

俺はKazoo Kidじゃないって証明してやる

I'll make you fucking gorgeous. (Lies x2)

これっきりだ

Oh no[se]! Where did your nose go, Phil?

ちょっと待て

Huh?

オー…

Where did it go?

マイ…

Butiful!!!

ゴッド

Eye see watcha doing there! (Get it? no? OK, I'll cry myself to sleep)

そんな…

Uh. Phil.

そんなはずは…

More like Nose Face!! (ROASTED)

そんなはずない

BOOM

オーマイゴッド

Oh no.. ho ho

俺は長い間記憶を封印していたのか

OHO ho ho oho

なんてことだ　なぜ忘れていた

Oh damn, dog!

俺が何処から来たのか

Damn, those are some nostrils, man!

俺の存在

Dude, where you get those nostrils done?

俺はKazoo Kidだ

I think we should move on.

俺はいつもKazoo Kidだった

"Make Jacksepticeye look betterer he already looks better than you anyways." (okay ur totally right)

べつに嬉しくねぇ

Oh, I'm sorry!

歌うの大好きだしぃ～↑

Is Jack on the top list?

ダンスも～～↑

I don't think so.

そして～↑

M'alright. Let's see what we can do, Jack. (Holy SHIT THIS IS BOOTIFUL)

Kaaazoooooo

*burps*

カズっちゃお～！↑

CUTE

よし　みんな

CUTE

Poodsは死んだから

*singing* I would fuck that guy in the ass.. (whaaaaa..?)

再びこのチャンネルは俺のもんになった

TAHAHAHAHAHAHA

そこにある動画をチェックだ

*wheezes* (im copying nigahiga's style of wheezing)

俺がPewdsの収入をゲットできるようにな

IT'S SO CUTEEE (◕‿◕✿) (kawaii pot8oe man)

動画を楽しんでくれたかな

AHA

次の動画でまた会おうね

Oh! It makes me cringe!

じゃぁ　バイバイ

It's so fucking weird!

ババイ　ババ～イ☆

*WAPEWSH*

*WAPOOSH*

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

MY NAME IS

(Video unavailable, content claimed by South park)

PEEEEWWWWRG

PEEEERGH (wait how did i get here)

Okay, sorry.

Got a little side-tracked there again.

"Your face on Kazoo kid's body."

*sighs* Oh, the Kazoo kid which I apparently look like?

*whispers* Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, I'll prove that I'm not the Kazoo kid.

Once and for all.

Wait a minute.

*burps*

Oh.

My.

God.

No. *laughs*

No. It can't be.

It can't be.

OH MY GAWD *chuckles*

I've been suppressing the memories for so long. (lol im smoking :D)

Oh my god. How could I have forgotten?

Where I came from.. (Sweden duhhh)

My roots.

I am.. Kazoo kid.

I will always be.. Kazoo kid.

And I'm proud of it, dammit.

[thud]

I like to sing..

dance..

AND

[kazoo playing]

KAAA ZOOO

[more kazoo playing]

JUST KAZOO IT (or just do it which ever one you prefer)

[kazooing continues]

[Edgar] Alright guys. (Oi Edgar :D)

[Edgar]: Since Poods is dead now.. (Y?)

[Edgar] Please-- I've taken over the channel. Again.

[Edgar] Please check out the video over here for more videos.

[Edagr]: So I can get adsense for Pewdiepie.

[Edgar] I hope you enjoyed this video, I guess.

[Edgar] And I'll see you.. in the next one!

[Edgar] Goodbye now! Goodbye!

[Edgar] Buh buh bye! (And us subtitle ppl say bye bye too :D)