私はどのようにして難しい決断をするのか (How I Make Hard Decisions)

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What you're about to watch is an animated chapter from a book I'm working on called
Sailing on the Seas.
If you're looking for the central concept from this video, here it is:
The Golden Judgment: Can I overcome the present obstacles, without creating a bigger one,
for myself or others, in the future?
The Golden Judgment is a concept that encourages me to consider the largest number of perspectives,
across the longest possible time.
But to really get the full power of the concept, we have to understand the stories and ideas
surrounding it.
Now that you know the central idea of this video, I hope that you can lower your guard,
enjoy the journey towards it, and appreciate all the other ideas that come along with it.
My boat sailed towards the end of the world while I slept.
And by divine luck, or perhaps a divine curse, cold water splashed on my face.
I awoke, for the first time, to thousands of lights fighting against an infinite darkness.
The mighty jaws of darkness were not powerful enough to swallow even the smallest light
without disintegrating.
I grabbed the edge of my boat and got up, but my vision darkened.
I grew dizzy and stumbled towards the mast, resting my body against it to prevent myself
from falling.
As I took a few deep breaths, my vision returned, and I looked out at the river ahead.
The green, luminescent waters split into two directions.
On the left, the river flowed gently.
Lush sycamore trees adorned the riverbank, and a single vine with golden flowers grew
across it.
Off in the distance, I heard a chorus of angels humming a lullaby.
But on the right, the river raged downwards into darkness.
I grabbed my oars and desperately paddled towards the left, against the dominant current.
I wanted to hear that sweet lullaby and return to sleep.
But as I approached the gentle path, my oars caught the vine with the golden flowers.
I inhaled deeply and pushed, but the vine stubbornly held on to the riverbank.
I pushed and pushed, until finally, the vine snapped in half.
I exhaled and continued paddling towards the music.
But all of a sudden, the wind picked up and caught my sail.
With enormous force, it blew me towards the dark path.
I resisted.
I paddled against it, but my lungs were no match for The Wind's.
My boat descended into the darkness.
I wrapped my arms and legs around the mast and closed my eyes.
The wind howled past me as I fell further and further into blackness.
The violent waters shook and twisted the boat, trying to knock me loose.
And after minutes of falling, the boat abruptly hit a large body of icy water, drenching my
clothes before levelling out.
I opened my eyes and saw nothing but darkness above.
The green river, however, still glowed beneath me.
I thought I had entered a cave since I saw no lights above, but I couldn't have been
sure.
I got up and yelled out.
“Hello!”
No response.
In fact, other than the gentle sloshing of waves, I heard nothing.
It was dead silent.
If I had entered a cave, it was a really large one.
I sat back down and noticed a white light in the corner of the boat.
I never saw that before, I thought.
I crawled towards it.
It was a book.
I picked it up and analyzed the cover.
A single word had been scrawled across it: Essays.
I skimmed through the book and saw nothing but blank pages.
How strange.
But when I got to the first page, words started appearing, and I began to read them.
I walk along an infinitely forking path.
Each split represents a moment of decision, and each decision leads to an alternative
version of myself.
Well, who do I become, and how do I decide which path to take?
I plan to retell and examine the story of three brothers who encounter a similar problem,
and see if I can walk away with some insight.
Once upon a time a King lived in a castle with his three sons.
Each day he entered his garden, strolled to his favourite tree, and counted the number
of golden apples it held.
But one day he noticed an apple had disappeared, and to discover what had happened, he ordered
his eldest son to watch the tree overnight.
The eldest son sat under the tree and waited, but as the darkest hour approached, he fell
asleep.
The next morning the King counted the apples and discovered that another had disappeared.
So he ordered his second eldest son to watch the tree overnight.
The second son sat under the tree and waited, but as the darkest hour approached, he too
fell asleep.
The next morning the King counted the apples, and again, he found one missing.
The youngest son begged the King for a turn to keep watch, and although the King thought
him foolish and useless, he agreed.
The youngest son sat under the tree and waited, and as the darkest hour approached, his eyelids
grew heavy, but he refused to fall asleep.
He heard fluttering in the distance, and in an instant, the whole sky turned orange, as
if lit with the light of a thousand suns.
The light emanated from a Golden Bird which flew towards the tree, perched upon a branch,
and plucked an apple.
The youngest son drew his bow, fired, and grazed the bird with his arrow.
A single golden feather fell to the floor, and as he covered it with a cloth, the bird
took flight, and the garden receded into darkness.
The next morning the King held a meeting with his council.
He unwrapped the cloth his son had gave him and revealed the golden feather.
It illuminated the room, and the council proclaimed it was worth more than the entire kingdom.
“Then a single feather won't do,” said the King.
“I must have the whole bird.”
The eldest son, believing himself to be quite clever, set out to find the Golden Bird.
Shortly after leaving the castle, on a narrow dirt road, he encountered a Fox.
He raised his bow, drew it back, and took aim.
“Wait,” said the Fox.
“If you do not shoot me, I can give you good advice.
I know you're on the way to find the Golden Bird.
Up ahead, you will come to a village with two inns.
One inn will look more pleasing than the other, but you must not stay there.
Stay at the less pleasant inn.”
“What does an animal like you know,” said the eldest son.
He fired an arrow at the Fox but missed, causing it to dash off into the woods.
Eventually the eldest son arrived at the village and saw the two inns.
At one of the inns, the people partied, danced, and drank.
The other one looked rundown and not a single sound could be heard inside.
Only a fool would stay at the less pleasant inn, he thought.
And so he stayed at the good inn and partied, danced, and drank, and eventually, he forgot
about his father and the Golden Bird.
Months passed, and the eldest son never returned home.
And so the second eldest son set out to find the Golden Bird.
When the second son encountered the Fox and received the same good advice, he too ignored
him.
And so when he came to the two inns, like his brother, he chose to stay at the more
pleasant one.
Naturally, he forgot about his father and the Golden Bird.
Months passed, and the second son never returned home.
The youngest son begged his father to let him go, and although the King thought him
foolish and useless, he agreed.
And so the youngest son set out to find the Golden Bird.
When the youngest son encountered the Fox and received the same good advice, he listened.
“Don't worry,” he said.
“I won't harm you.”
“Thank you,” said the Fox.
“Now sit on my back, and I will take you to the village.”
The youngest son climbed on the Fox's back, and they raced off, the wind whistling past
them.
When they got to the village, the youngest son followed the Fox's advice and stayed
at the less pleasant inn overnight.
The next morning, after leaving the inn, he encountered the Fox again.
The Fox nodded towards the path ahead.
“Walk straight down this path until you come to a castle.
There will be several guards outside, but don't worry: they will all be asleep.
Enter the castle, walk past all the rooms, and find the chamber at the end of the hall.
The Golden Bird waits there, inside of a wooden cage, but heed my warning: you will see a
golden cage there too, but you must not touch it.”
The youngest son followed the Fox's advice, walking straight past the sleeping guards
and into the chamber at the end of the hall.
He saw the Golden Bird inside of a wooden cage, the apples it had stolen, and the golden
cage.
What a beautiful creature, he thought.
Way too beautiful for the wooden cage.
Surely it deserves the golden one.
The youngest son removed the bird from the wooden cage and housed it in the golden one,
but as soon as he did, it began to squawk.
The sleeping guards awoke, rushed into the chamber, seized him, and threw him into prison
overnight.
The next morning the youngest son met with the King in his court, where he was sentenced
to death.
“But I'll let you live on one condition,” said the King.
“What is it?”
“Go to the castle down the road and bring back the Golden Horse.
If you do that, I will let you live, and I'll let you keep the Golden Bird too.”
“Deal,” said the youngest son and set out on the road.
On the way to the next castle, on a narrow dirt road, he encountered the Fox.
“I told you not to touch the golden cage,” said the Fox.
“But still, I will help you get the Golden Horse.
Listen to me.
Take this road to the next castle and look for the stable in the back.
The groom will be sleeping in front of it.
Inside the stable you will find the Golden Horse, but heed my warning: you will see a
golden saddle there too, but you must not touch it.”
The youngest son followed the Fox's advice, walking past the sleeping groom and into the
stable at the back of the castle.
He found the Golden Horse wearing a wooden saddle, and beside it, he saw a golden one.
What a beautiful creature, he thought.
Way too beautiful for this wooden saddle.
Surely it deserves the golden one.
The youngest son removed the wooden saddle from the horse and began to put the golden
one on, but as soon as he did, the horse neighed loudly.
The sleeping groom awoke and called the guards, who seized the youngest son and threw him
into prison overnight.
The next morning he met with the King in his court, where he was sentenced to death.
“But I'll let you live on one condition,” said the King.
“What is it?”
“Go to the Golden Castle and bring back the beautiful princess.
If you do that, I will let you live, and I'll let you keep the Golden Horse too.”
“Deal,” said the youngest son and set out on the road.
On the way to the Golden Castle, on a narrow dirt road, he encountered the Fox.
“I told you not to touch the golden saddle,” said the Fox.
“But still, I will help you get the princess from the Golden Castle.
Listen to me.
Take this road to the Golden Castle and look for the bathhouse in the back.
When the princess comes to take her nightly bath, you must meet her inside and give her
a kiss.
Then she will go with you.
But heed my warning: do not let her say goodbye to her parents.”
The youngest son followed the Fox's advice, walking to the back of the Golden Castle and
waiting near the bathhouse.
And just as the Fox had said, the princess came to take her nightly bath.
The youngest son met her inside, gave her a kiss, and asked her to leave with him.
“I would love to go with you, but please, before we go, let me say goodbye to my parents,”
she said.
The youngest son resisted at first, but the princess fell to her knees, begged and cried,
and eventually, he gave in to her demand.
After telling her father what had happened, the King called the guards on the youngest
son.
They seized him and threw him into prison overnight.
The next morning he met with the King in his court, where he was sentenced to death.
“But I'll let you live on one condition,” said the King.
“What is it?”
“Outside of my window, there is a mountain that blocks my view.
If you remove it within eight days, I'll let you live, and I'll give you my daughter's
hand in marriage too.”
“Deal,” said the youngest son, and he set off to complete the task.
He kept his head down and shovelled the mountain for seven days straight, and when he finally
looked up, he realized the mountain had hardly changed at all.
This is impossible, he thought.
He fell to his knees and wept.
A familiar voice spoke from behind him.
“Do not weep child.”
The youngest son turned, wiping his tears.
“Fox!”
“You do not deserve my help, but still, I will help you.
Go to sleep, and let me finish this for you.”
“Thank you,” said the youngest son and laid down.
He fell asleep immediately, and when he awoke, the mountain had disappeared.
He hurried to the King's chamber and told him that he had completed the task, and as
promised, the King let his daughter go.
The youngest son set off with the princess, and once again, on a narrow dirt road, he
encountered the Fox.
“You have obtained the best treasure of all,” said the Fox.
“But you must return home with the horse and the bird too.”
“What?
How will I do that?”
“Here's what you must do.
When you bring the princess back to the King, the whole kingdom will come out to cheer.
They will give you the horse right away.
Mount it, and shake everyone's hand as you leave.
But save the princess' hand for last, and when you go to shake it, lift her onto your
horse and ride away.
Now when you arrive at the next castle on the Golden Horse, ask to see the Golden Bird
before you make the exchange.
When the King hands you the cage, gallop away with it.”
The youngest son followed the Fox's advice and returned to the village with the princess,
the horse, and the bird.
“Since I helped you, you must help me,” said the Fox.
“What would you like?”
“Please, cut off my head and my feet.”
“What?
I can't do that.
That would be ungrateful.”
“Well, then I must leave you.
But before I go, I will give you some more advice.
Do not save anyone from the gallows, and do not sit near any rivers.”
That's odd advice, thought the youngest son, but he thanked the Fox and said goodbye.
The Fox nodded and took off into the woods.
As the youngest son rode back into the village with the two inns, he noticed a crowd buzzing
in the distance.
He got off his horse and walked towards it.
“What's going on over there?” he asked a local.
“Two criminals are being hanged.”
The youngest son waded through the crowd and saw his brothers.
“These two thieves have been sentenced to death for their crimes,” said the executioner.
“Wait!” said the youngest son and ran up to the executioner.
“These men are my brothers.
Is there anything I can do to save them?”
“You can buy their freedom if you like, but what's the point in saving thieves?”
The youth ignored the executioner's words and handed him the money, freeing his brothers.
They headed home together along with the princess, the horse, and the bird.
On the way back to the castle, the group came across a peaceful river.
“Let's sit near the riverbank,” said the eldest brother.
“It will be very relaxing,” said the second eldest.
The youngest brother nodded in agreement.
As he slept near the riverbank with the princess, the Golden Horse, and the Golden Bird, his
two brothers watched him with eyes of envy.
Then, all of a sudden, they tossed him over the riverbank and made off with the princess,
the horse, and the bird.
When the brothers returned home, the Golden Bird did not sing, the Golden Horse did not
neigh, and the princess continually wept.
But their happy father still threw them a big celebration.
Meanwhile, the youngest son crawled to the edge of the riverbank.
He had not drowned because the water was shallow, but the fall had battered his body, and unfortunately,
he lacked the strength to get out.
He remained stuck for days, but finally, he heard a familiar voice.
“You do not deserve my help, but I will help you anyway.”
The youngest son looked up towards the riverbank.
“Fox!”
The Fox lowered his tail and pulled the youngest son out of the river.
“You must return home, but be careful, your brothers have placed guards on all of the
roads.
If they see you, they will put you to death.”
The youngest son borrowed clothes from a poor man and snuck back into the kingdom.
As soon as he did, the Golden Bird started to sing, the Golden Horse started to neigh,
and the princess stopped weeping.
The King looked at the princess.
“What happened?”
“I'm not sure,” she said, “but I feel as if my true love has returned.”
The King ordered all the youth of his kingdom to line up in his court.
The princess immediately recognized her lover and gave him a hug.
She revealed everything to the King.
He sentenced the two elder brothers to death and made his youngest son heir to the throne.
Later on, the youngest son ran into the Fox again, who made the same request as before.
The youngest son agreed, and as soon as he cut off the Fox's head and feet, it transformed
into the princess' brother—who had been missing for a long time.
And they all lived happily ever after.
This fairy tale demonstrates how our decisions transform us, for better or worse, and it
primarily does this through five symbols.
(1) The Brothers
The fairy tale introduces three brothers at the beginning of the story, all sons of a
king.
As each brother moves through life, he confronts a forking path several times, forcing him
to choose between one of two directions.
The direction he chooses eventually seals his fate and determines whether he flourishes
or wilts, whether he becomes a king or a thief.
(2) The Forking Path
Each brother encounters a forking path several times throughout the story: a moment where
he decides who he wants to be.
The first fork occurs as each brother watches over the golden apple tree.
When the darkest hour approaches, each one decides whether to sleep or not.
The next fork happens as each brother contemplates whether or not to listen to the Fox.
The third one occurs as each brother chooses between one of the two inns.
The two eldest brothers choose the pleasant inn, bringing their story to an end, but the
youngest chooses the less pleasant inn and continues on, encountering a forked path many
more times.
He decides between the wooden cage and the golden one, the golden saddle and the wooden
one, letting the princess say goodbye or not, whether or not to give the kings what they
want, whether or not to give the Fox what he wants, saving his brothers or letting them
hang, and sleeping by the river or going straight home.
Each brother constantly chooses between one of two paths to walk on, and by doing so,
he moves closer to one thing and further from another.
One path leads towards truth, positive transformation, flourishing, and the birth of a king.
The other path leads towards illusion, negative transformation, wilting, and the birth of
a thief.
Every moment presents a decision, and every decision is a forking path that leads to one
of two futures: growth or decay.
(3) The Thief
The two eldest brothers walk on the path of illusion and undergo a negative transformation:
they become thieves.
A thief is a life-taking force, and so wherever he walks, life wilts and decays in his presence.
The story gives several examples of this destructive personality.
In the beginning of the tale, while watching over the tree, the eldest brothers go to sleep
and allow the Golden Bird to steal an apple.
They choose their own ego's over their father.
They take and take from him, and have presumably taken from him for years, and eventually they
abandon his quest altogether.
When they encounter the Fox on the road, they shoot an arrow at him, causing him to flee
into the woods.
They rob the Fox of a chance to free himself.
In the village, both brothers become literal thieves, robbing others of their possessions.
And lastly, at the riverbank, they steal everything from their youngest brother.
Everywhere the elder brothers go, they create poverty.
They take the health, wealth, time, energy, freedom, and knowledge from others, and anyone
who comes into contact with them leaves worse off.
And yet, ironically, the brothers also rob themselves.
Every movement outwards is a movement inwards, or rather, every outer theft is simultaneously
an inner theft.
By sleeping in the garden, they miss the chance to experience the Golden Bird and bring value
to the kingdom through the golden feather.
By abandoning the Fox, they steal away their own opportunity for good advice.
By stealing from the villagers, by robbing them of the goods they spent time to obtain,
the brothers steal away their own future.
And at the end, when the elder brothers steal everything from their younger brother and
try to cut his life short, they end up cutting their own lives short.
The thief, a life-taking force, fails to see how his theft of others is really a theft
from himself.
And so he falls further and further into illusion.
(4) The King
The youngest brother walks on the true path and undergoes a positive transformation: he
becomes a king.
The king is a life-giving force, and so wherever he walks, life flourishes and blooms in his
presence.
The story gives several examples of this positive personality.
The first king takes care of a garden and raises three sons.
The youngest son, who becomes heir to the throne, successfully watches over and protects
his father's golden apple tree.
He also frees the Fox from the curse, saves his brothers from the gallows, brings the
bird, horse, and princess into the kingdom, and removes a mountain from the view of a
king.
And once again, every outer movement becomes an inner movement.
Every external giving is simultaneously an internal giving.
By successfully watching over the golden apple tree, the youngest son receives a transformative
experience and obtains a golden feather—an object of immeasurable value.
By not ignoring the Fox, he continually receives good advice and help.
By removing the mountain from the king's view, he receives the princess' hand in
marriage.
After saving his brothers from the gallows, the Fox saves him from drowning in the river.
And finally, by bringing new life—the bird, the horse, and the princess—into the kingdom,
he becomes heir to the throne.
The king, a life-giving force, walks the true path, and his flourishing becomes the flourishing
of others.
The Forking Path Revisited
The story demonstrates how difficult it is to discern between truth and illusion, reality
and appearance.
Actions that seem right—like staying at the pleasant inn, putting the Golden Bird
in the golden cage, putting the Golden Horse in the golden saddle, letting the princess
say goodbye, saving the brothers, and not harming the Fox—all end up being false paths.
Even characters in the story are rarely what they appear to be.
Two of the king's sons end up being thieves.
Their exterior appearances don't match their interior truths.
At least two of the kings are also thieves.
Does the second king send the Golden Bird to steal apples from the first?
It's unclear, but the second king definitely sends the youngest son to steal the Golden
Horse from the third king.
After the third king captures the youngest son, he sends him off to steal the princess
from the fourth king.
So the second and third king wear the mask of a king, but really they're thieves.
And that's why the Fox instructs the child to return home with the bird, horse, and princess—it's
an act of justice.
So the youngest son wears the mask of a thief, but really he's a king.
The duality between truth and illusion, reality and appearance, runs deeply throughout the
story, and only one thing helps the youngest son navigate it: the Fox.
(5) The Fox
The Fox knows everything the youngest son must do to walk the true path, gets him out
of trouble, moves mountains for him, and helps him act justly.
The Fox represents wisdom.
But why does the Fox teach the youngest brother to be wise and not the elder ones?
The one thing the youngest son does that the elder ones don't is serve others.
He serves the tree, his father, the other kings, his brothers, the bird, the horse,
and the princess.
A life of service is a necessary precondition for wisdom, but why is this so?
The world is fundamentally a place of relationship.
Even in isolation from all other life, Man is in relationship with himself.
He does not beat his own heart, digest his own food, regulate his own body temperature,
or will his own bodily needs.
His conscious-self is in relationship with his unconscious-self, and his present-self
is in relationship with his future-self.
And so, one who cannot serve others cannot serve the other in himself, or rather, one
who cannot serve others cannot serve his future-self.
By not acknowledging the fundamental nature of relationships, by not acknowledging the
other, Man cuts himself off from wisdom.
In the story, the elder brothers only see their present-selves.
They do what they want without regard for others or the future, and so they lose access
to wisdom.
The youngest brother, on the other hand, cares about others and serves them, so he remains
open to wisdom.
But at the beginning of the story, he serves naively.
He serves the second and third king by performing theft on their behalf.
He serves his thieving brothers by freeing them, resulting in his own downfall.
Service opens the boy up to wisdom, but learning to serve what's right allows him to obtain
it.
At every major point of decision in the story, the Fox instructs the youngest son to serve
The Common Good.
For example, near the end of the story, the Fox tells the king's son to head home with
the bird, the horse, and the princess because this leads to the best possible outcome.
The lovers stay together, the first king obtains the Golden Bird, and the second and third
king receive their justice.
Without justice, the second and third kings might end up like the elder brothers—at
the gallows with nooses around their necks.
But in the following scene, the Fox instructs the king's son not to save anyone from the
gallows or sit near a river.
But the youngest son ignores the Fox's advice, violates The Common Good, and everyone ends
up suffering for it—including himself.
He loses everything and ends up in a river.
The bird, the horse, and the princess are sad and lifeless in his absence.
And thieves run freely through the world again.
But how does the youngest son serve The Common Good?
He serves The Common Good when his actions pass The Golden Judgment.
The Golden Judgment: Can I overcome the present obstacle without creating a bigger obstacle,
for myself or others, in the future?
The elder brothers repeatedly violate The Golden Judgment.
They overcome their present obstacles by creating new ones for others.
They don't care about their father's tree, they abandon his quest, they steal from villagers,
and they steal from their younger brother.
Repeated violations hurt everyone, including themselves.
Eventually, they turn into thieves and suffer the consequences.
The youngest brother, on the other hand, repeatedly tries to pass The Golden Judgment.
Of course, in the act of living, he repeatedly violates it, which is normal, but he tries
to rectify his past mistakes with every new decision.
The Golden Judgment is an ideal standard.
It can be approached, but I doubt it can ever be fully realized.
And it does not tell the youngest son what is good, but it encourages him to eliminate
what is bad.
It forces him to take into account the greatest number of perspectives, across the longest
possible time.
And by living life, by trial and error, by living in greater accordance with the ideal,
the youngest son achieves wisdom and becomes a king—a giver of life.
And so, like each brother, I confront a forking path.
One path leads towards truth, positive transformation, growth, flourishing, and the birth of a king.
The other path leads towards illusion, negative transformation, wilting, and the birth of
a thief.
To become king, one needs wisdom.
To achieve wisdom, one needs to serve The Common Good, and one serves The Common Good
by performing actions that pass The Golden Judgment.
I heard water falling in the distance.
I looked up from the book and saw the night sky peeking through an opening in the cave.
I put the book down and paddled towards it.
Once I exited the cave, I looked to my right and saw the path I had failed to take.
It ended with a giant, green, glowing waterfall, which brushed my face with a gentle, cool
mist.
And at the bottom of the fall, three women sat on a large, grey rock.
At least they looked like women from the waist up.
Their long brown hair swayed in the wind, and their tan hands looked just like mine,
but their bottom halves looked like the tails of fish.
The waters at the bottom of the fall were tinged with red.
How strange.
My eyes followed the flow of water out towards the ocean, and when they met the horizon,
my heart skipped a beat.
Thousands of bodies floated face down next to their broken boats.
They had, presumably, achieved the sleep they so desperately wanted—that I so desperately
wanted.
The three women started humming the same lullaby I had heard before.