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  • The following trailer is rated "S" for super spoilers.

  • From Zack Snyder,

  • the visionary director behind "Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole"

  • Comes the world's most hopeful superhero

  • in his inevitable dark, moody Christopher Nolan update

  • Because God forbid a Superman movie be any damn fun for anybody.

  • Man of Steel.

  • Prepare for a mopey, violent reboot

  • guaranteed to depress adults and frighten small children.

  • where one of America's greatest icons, Superman,

  • is played by this Englishman

  • with the acting range of a crumpet.

  • "Who are you?"

  • "I am your father, Kal."

  • "That's my name.'

  • But my god, what a beefcake.

  • He's the hero who stood for truth, justice, and the American way,

  • but this time stands for

  • destroying American property,

  • "That's a $12 million piece of hardware!"

  • "It was."

  • the Canadian Arctic,

  • this guy's livelihood,

  • Bruce Wayne's satellite,

  • Downtown Smallville,

  • and like half of Metropolis.

  • It's a bird,

  • it's a plane,

  • it's -- coming right for us.

  • Everybody run!

  • Journey to Superman's birthplace of Pandora, err... Krypton,

  • an alien planet full of

  • Avatar birds,

  • Matrix babies,

  • sepia tone,

  • way too many subplots,

  • "Krypton's core is collapsing."

  • "This Council has been disbanded."

  • "I know you stole the codex."

  • "I will find him!"

  • And ships shaped like wangs.

  • Meet General Zod, a Kryptonian out to destroy humanity

  • with the power of dubstep.

  • In order to defeat Zod,

  • Superman must decide which of his two Robin Hood dads to listen to.

  • Space Dad says show off your powers to inspire humanity.

  • "You could be the bridge between two peoples."

  • Farm Dad says hide your powers and let innocent people die.

  • "What was I supposed to do? Just let them die?"

  • "Maybe."

  • Watch Superman honor them both, as he shows off his powers AND lets innocent people

  • die.

  • Meet Lois Lane, a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter.

  • "I am a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter!"

  • That's what I just said.

  • She's a superhero in her own right,

  • with the powers of staying alive in sub-freezing temperatures,

  • scaling ice mountains,

  • seducing hot space dudes,

  • and showing up wherever the plot needs her to be.

  • "General Zod would like THIS WOMAN to accompany me."

  • C'mon, there is no reason she should be on that military plane.

  • "It's supposed to go in all the way!"

  • Heh, that's what she said.

  • When Lois uses her Nikon camera

  • to photograph this Budweiser drinking alien,

  • she'll discover the truth from his friend at the IHOP.

  • But when Zod sends a message on this Nokia phone

  • it's up to Superman to take him on with this U-Haul truck

  • through this 7/11,

  • back to the IHOP,

  • and inside this Sears.

  • So, if you loved the Christopher Reeve era Superman movies,

  • but wished they made them less hopeful,

  • killed countless civilians,

  • visualized our worst fears of urban terrorism,

  • and had Superman overcome his first villain by murdering him with his

  • bare hands,

  • DC has made the reboot for you, psycho!

  • Yikes.

  • Starring...

  • Specific Zod

  • April O'Neil

  • Ghost Dad

  • Fallout Box Art

  • Kevin Costco

  • Perry Black

  • Superman Pooping

  • and those pin art desk toy things.

  • you know, from Spencer's gifts...

  • the one's you used to press your face against.

  • You guys know what I'm talking about, right?

  • Man of Steel

  • Can't believe I'm now actually rooting for Ben Affleck to kick this guys ass.

  • Thanks for watching.

  • "I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence."

  • "The jerk store called and they rant out of YOU."

  • "Spoooon!"

  • "The fox says what I say it says."

  • "I am vengence, I am the night, I am Batman."

  • Hey Screen Junkies, for more awesome stuff, click here to subscribe!

The following trailer is rated "S" for super spoilers.

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正直な予告編 - マン・オブ・スティール (Honest Trailers - Man of Steel)

  • 451 28
    Zenn に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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