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  • Hey, it’s Roy Wood Jr.,

  • and since were all stuck in our homes

  • because of therona, theyre making me

  • review the greatest pandemic movies of all time.

  • That’s right. My gift at my job is to watch movies

  • of people horrified of the spread of an illness.

  • I better get a raise for this shit.

  • First up: “Contagion.”

  • Now, if youre looking for hope in the midst

  • of all of this COVID-19 nonsense,

  • do not watch this movie.

  • This movie’s so real even Neil deGrasse Tyson

  • was lookinat it like, “Yup, facts.

  • You guys nailed it.”

  • So, “Contagion.” Gwyneth Paltrow spreads a pandemic

  • all over the world.

  • It’s kind of like Goop but without the steaming,

  • but the cast is stacked.

  • You had Gwyneth. You had the white girl fromTitanic

  • that let Leo DiCaprio die. You had Walter White.

  • Matt Damon, but I’m not sure if he was talking

  • in a Boston accent in that movie.

  • The virus is spreading wicked far!”

  • Overall, if you worried about catching thatrona,

  • watch another movie other thanContagion.”

  • It is too close to home.

  • Outbreakis the pandemic movie about the monkey.

  • The monkey got the disease. Everybody run around

  • the whole movietheyre trying to find the monkey

  • cause the monkey got the cure.

  • It’s got Dustin Hoffman, Cuba Gooding Jr.,

  • Rene Russo and, of course, Morgan Freeman.

  • Look, can I digress for a second?

  • Morgan Freeman accounts for 95% of all

  • black acting roles cast in Hollywood.

  • He take all of the roles.

  • Damn, Morgan, let somebody else get some money, man.

  • I can narrate a penguin show.

  • And here we see the mother penguin protecting her baby.”

  • Now, the virus in this movie is so bad,

  • all the scientists have to wear them yellow

  • garbage bag suits, which makes you wonder

  • if Billie Eilish knows something we don’t know.

  • The other thing to know about thisOutbreakmovie

  • is that the president in this movie has a big idea.

  • He’s gonna stop the virus by bombing the city that it’s in.

  • Please don’t show this movie to Trump.

  • We mess around and wake up tomorrow morning

  • Seattle won’t be here no more.

  • If you live in New York, youre safe.

  • We got a Trump hotel.

  • Lastly, “28 Days.”

  • I know what youre thinkingit’s a zombie movie.

  • That ain’t no pandemic.

  • Uh, if you get bit by a zombie, it go through your blood,

  • you turn into a zombie.

  • That’s a virus!

  • Ain’t got time to be explaining this to y’all.

  • Go somewhere and Google something.

  • Alright, so this is how “28 Dayswork.

  • It’s a bunch of zombies runninaround Britain,

  • and they eatineverybody’s brains,

  • which I completely understand

  • if you ever had British food.

  • They put beans with they toast.

  • Brains probably taste the same as beans with soggy bread.

  • Zombie was probably like, “You know what?

  • I really appreciate the offer for the beans and toast.

  • I’ll just have some of your cerebellum, yeah?”

  • Alright, so there it is.

  • Three pandemic movies for your viewing pleasure.

  • Please be safe out there.

  • Please social distance.

  • Now, if youll excuse me, I will return

  • to playing PlayStation in my bunker.

  • Oh, shit. The condoms.

Hey, it’s Roy Wood Jr.,

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