hahaha I asked Amanda to come here because she has been such a huge help

for me with maxi sleep as you guys know maxi is one year old now but we work

together when he was 8 months yeah yes so I went through months of

just like not sleeping we had a night nurse and it just became so ridiculous

because I sneaked train my other to Jacobs bed I kind of missed the mark on

straining maxi so it became really really difficult

I googled who can help me and Amanda's name came up it was a really nice

experience really hands-on I just felt like it would be such a great gift for

other new moms out there you hear about Amanda's process and the steps are kind

enough to share her approach to sleep training your baby now maxi is mostly

sleeping through the night it's been in my opinion your success and changed the

course of her lives because Amanda you tell everything oh okay so I mean the

the first big thing I think that it's the most important part is that you have

to have an earlier bedtime for a baby a baby needs a lot of sleep so depending

on the age of your child your child needs anywhere from 14 to 20 hours of

sleep depending on their age so that's a lot more sleep than you and I haha start

with an earlier bedtime anywhere between 6 & 8 p.m. is idea

for most kids yeah I do find that there's moms that because they want to

sleep a little longer in the morning they'll push the bedtime

yes so I feel like that's creates a problem that your kids will probably

have just a biological clock it doesn't matter what you do so what you want to

do is you kind of want to work for that backwards right so if they're getting up

at around 6:00 or 7:00 every day and you've done everything to kind of move

that then I would start from there and be like okay how to get them there 10 to

12 hours from that point and then that's where you have to hear bedtime sometimes

for some babies if they're so overtired they've been going to bed so late moving

their bedtime earlier will get you a later bedtime because they'll be paying

back some of that sleep done that they've accrued it's totally

counterintuitive but sometimes that's interesting what's next so then we want

to make sure that we want a good bedtime routine you know a series of activities

that happen before bed and have it all the time and consistently so that when

these activities happen your child says oh okay sleep is next so it becomes like

an outside body cue great examples might be bath bottle bookends stories massage

and bed and one of the things has to be a little bit tricky for a lot of parents

it's that bottle or breastfeeding happens at the very end of the routine

and then maybe gets a little bit because you know having the bottle and

breastfeeding is really calming nice you say okay I'm gonna go to bed and then

that's how they fall asleep the tricky thing about that is nobody actually

sleeps tonight so you and I wake up probably between five and eight times at

night we know how to sleep on around so we kind of go over to the side and go

back to bed but your child if they're falling asleep on the boob or the bottle

or rocking or chuffing you're petting whatever the case is they will wake up

and say oh I need that to go back to sleep

because they don't know how so making sure that that that bottle or boob is in

the routine but not the very last thing I used to do with Max I'm with all of

them actually I would give them a bottle and they'll fall asleep and when they

don't know how to suit themselves and some babies honestly I do have friends

that their kids yeah like they just get it yeah they just sleep overnight and

it's amazing they can suit themselves back to sleep that's great but most I

feel can't mine couldn't when I kind of got them used to you know this is the

bottle the milk is what puts you back to sleep and that's what suits you it was

really difficult for me because but then it becomes a routine and then every time

they wake up at night you have to go there with the bottle so that was

definitely the best thing I've learned the next thing then after that you know

you've removed their bottle you're going down on their own now we have to make

sure that every sleep situation looks exactly the same this is where you get

into tricky business so some people will say you know your naps and your night

time are two different things or two different kinds of sleep so you can

treat them we don't have any melatonin production

so at night as soon as it gets a little bit dark nature's own little like

sleeping pill come to it which is like melatonin and when you can go to sleep

when we feel nice and comfy sometimes for a lot of people the nighttime sleep

is a lot easier during the daytime we have zero zilch melatonin and we are

fighting a beat so I remember with Max he had mastered the hardest part yeah

and they were the hardest part for everybody and so we are dealing with a

little bit of a different beast however in order to make the naps better every

sleep situation means silicon see your babies are really smart

yeah so they'll say okay I'm being fed to sleep during the day but I'm not

being fed to sleep at night and so this great night sleep that is happening will

start to deteriorate because at some point your baby will be smart enough to

say no I want what's happening during the day I want that at night yes do you

need consistency you need your baby sleeping in the exact same location

during the days at night and you also need to make sure that you're not

feeding rocking bouncing shushing driving all of those situations need to

look identical I think that for me though we're not rocking we're not

bouncing but we're doing this show show should then leave the room the end of

the day just want to create a routine that works for you the baby will adjust

yeah but it's you that kind of does the work so what people think about

consistency is they think oh yeah bedtime needs to be the same yeah well

what I mean about consistency is that going back to every sleep situation

needs to look the same and this is what often happens and I think we had

our thing with Maxie your first three days I call them like a little bit of a

honeymoon period your first day and night of sleep training is going to be

crappy then your second day is gonna be way better and then your third day is

even better in York really great we're done

it's over but then on the fourth day your baby says no I'm not gonna sleep

tonight I'm gonna wake up I'm gonna do all these things

my clients will be like oh god what do we do and it's like the same thing you

did on this day yeah what your child is doing is it retesting those boundaries

on that fourth day so you have to be consistent in that have that plan with

your partner sit down and be like okay when you do this we do this and do that

by the way in the light of day because nobody makes good decisions at 3:00 or

4:00 in the morning ha ha when your child we say I'm gonna take away that

bottle I'm gonna take away this thing that's very comforting they will cry and

then this is usually where people are like I don't know what's right what's

wrong essentially you can always respond your child you can sit with them leave

for a bit check on them I'm not a huge fan of any sort of like leaving them

until the morning strategy and there's no judgement involved in that my only

concern is that parents can't do it so yeah house cries for longer than they

suspected yeah they don't feel like they have a plan to go back in and then what

ends up happening is they're like that's it letting them cry tonight we're never

going back in then they sit on the couch and they're like oh this is bad I go in

to help and I help them to sleep again if we let our child cry cry cry cry cry

and then help them to sleep that's worse than just initially telling

them to sleep I'm not saying crying out is bad I'm

saying have a plan for when you feel like you need to check on your child and

your child can cry for a while longer than you suspect

talk with your partner have a plan when they cry for this long you're going in

or I'm gonna stay right beside them until they're done yeah either way is

fine and you're gonna do that until they sleep and you're going to

that every single sleep situation naps and later would Jacob then we did the

cry dog method and they actually both were pretty easy also because I did it

before there were six months so they couldn't get up which wakes them up more

so they cried a little bit I think it was literally 15 minutes oh that's nice

and then the next day it was five minutes and then yeah so I was it was

very easy for me sure that in a situation where they were cry for three

hours yeah I don't know it's continued with this quiet out exact to me it

worked well with Jacob and that's kind of my recommendation for moms out there

if you can sleep trained before 6 months yes from my experience that book works

with Maxie again he was already you know getting up and moving and screaming and

with Amanda we did like every 7 minutes or so so he kind of got used to you know

he'll cry and I'll come in and I'll just put him back to sleep give him a kiss

and leave again and at first it was really hard because obviously he's

expecting something so he would start crying even harder yeah eventually what

I thought happened that those seven minutes he stretched him a little bit

more cuz you pull so start hearing that's not crying it's the Arabs whiny

and then they were like okay we got it that's when they're like kind of giving

up slowly and accepting reality so find that that worked for us but there were

times where it was even shorter than seven minutes yeah guys he was just

screaming his head off people will often ask me and I'm sure you get this a lot

like what do you do what's the one thing every child is different

so that's see we said seven minutes yeah your childhood might be five minutes it

might be fifteen minutes I'm in this tricky position of being like an expert

in telling people what to do but I actually want to empower people to trust

their instincts about what their child needs

if your child is freaking out and I call those like skin crawling moments

your kid is doing something that doesn't feel right then you go in and check on

them yeah but if you're sitting on the couch and

you're like yeah I know I mean yeah then I don't think that you need to go in

there because the clock is tickin ya know what I mean - yeah hundred percent

intuition is key I think that at the end of the day I'm trying to benefit my

child obviously I want to sleep - but he needs that sleep think about the big

picture something for me that really affected me when I was with Jake my

first is looking up cried out method it was this whole movement of being like

you gonna scar your child for life it's a big statement without having enough

details so it's like I mentioned right I left him for 15 minutes and then he fell

asleep yeah so he's pretty good he's pretty balanced he's pretty good

emotionally but it scared me so much it made me doubt myself even more where I

wish there was information out there where they're talking about a cry dog

method or any other method there's all these variations and scenarios of course

you don't want to let your child cry for 7 hours but 15 minutes he'll be ok after

you notice that it's important to know is that number 1 crying isn't

necessarily a bad thing and it's always usually accompanied by

some sort of skill development nobody's saying leave your child you can

always attend to your child while they're crying

people will think there's like cry based methods yeah and then there's no pride

method I'm just not choosing the no cry methods yeah I like children crying no

your child is crying cuz they're learning something new you can't have a

no cry feel building yes can't it's frustrating sleep training is

it's been studied and studied if the results have been realized it's still

safe so when I worked with Amanda we follow that plan we logged everything in

that was really helpful it was very clear it steps to follow so I'm super

grateful for that Mack sleeps most days he speaks through the night

unless he's safe up there something going on in the house because with

weekends there's always something going on yeah that's a really good point too

it's just like 100% and I think that's the rule with carrots they never get to

do anything just have a plan but things are changing all the time just because

these little humans develop every single day so I think it's just a natural you

know way of life we've been really happy with results and if you guys need any

extra help but man that was very kind to share all this information and know this

is definitely your business you can find everything about me @ww baby's bed sleep

calm I hope this was very helpful for all the mothers out there all the

parents out there and truly hope this video helped all the mothers out there

to hopefully get a little more sleep for more tips from a mom click here