very very insecure at 16 I'm like five seven almost I feel like it was also a

great opportunity for me to escape all I wanted to do is call my mom I can't get

out of it there's so much more to modeling than like being super beautiful

hi guys welcome back to my channel I wanted to make this video about my time

living in Paris as a model because a lot of you guys asked me about my modeling

career and I do share bits and pieces here and there but I decided to do this

story time about my time living in Paris so to give you a little back story I

started in the modeling industry when I was about 15 but I really started

working when I was 16 I actually got my first like big campaign that was shot in

London UK I was this huge a kiss ready company and that was my first big job

after Dad it kind of started moving for me I was going to a lot of castings back

in Israel but I would never went anywhere internationals my first kind of

breakthrough to the international market was when elite models who was my

modeling agency in Israel they held a casting with IMG Paris I'm G is a huge

modeling agency around the world and their Paris office came to Tel Aviv to

scout some girls and I was scouted I can't even explain to you this feeling

because I am a very short for a model I'm like five seven almost and for me

the fact that anybody noticed me from an international market was just like

mind-blowing to me needless to say it was very very secured 16 as most girls

are I feel it was a huge huge victory for me I didn't come from a household

that could afford to send me and like my mother there I would didn't have kind of

the financials to support that decision my mom had to stay and work when Paris

called it they're like we'll get you a visa come and stay for a month I was

really excited I feel like it was also a great opportunity for me to escape

because it was at a time when my parents were going through a divorce it wasn't a

time where I actually wanted to be home so if a lot of people like asked me

sometimes weren't you scared to leave home at 16 and move to like a different

country you don't speak the language nothing I think that I was so determined

to just kind of escape the chaos of divorce in the house that that fear

wasn't even a factor so I arrived to Paris it was very liberating and very

scary my mother was calling me four times a

day you know she was obviously very worried and I think that she really did

a great job in hiding fear and who our talk on the phone just to remind me of

like the values that she kind of instilled in me and Who I am so I guess

that was kind of her way of making sure that I don't steer to the wrong

direction if you're a model and an agency scouts you in a different country

you go there they provide you with an apartment usually it's a model apartment

you share it with a lot of other girls from other countries and then they give

you a map to the subway they'll give you a cell phone and they give you some

allowance but that allowance you pay back when you start making money two

jobs not only do we not have a subway system in Israel I don't know how to

read a freaking map of a subway I just remembered I like walked in being like

I'm an independent woman 16 and then they gave me a map be like okay go and

I'm just like looking at them and my eyes are starting to like swell with

tears I was literally just like this small little frightened kitten all of a

sudden it hit me I'm like oh my god this is I'm the this is it like I think I

made it to one casting out of like five I got lost and I just

remember I was like running through these streets with the stones and I was

wearing heels and it was just like carrying this book back in the day was

this heavy like portfolios back then you literally had to log this like huge

thing the day was like so overwhelming I'll just never forget all I wanted to

do is call my mom and be like I decided not to call her because I knew that if

I'm going to call her and cry she will make sure that I'll be back home I

called my best friend I remember I was like a lot on the phone and like on

skype and stuff and that really helped me I think that living anywhere in the

world I mean throughout my years of traveling I always felt very lonely and

there were advantages and disadvantages to it I mean obviously feeling lonely

when you were going to something when you have a bad day of no one to talk to

so you really like get down and it's hard to get out of that mood but also

being alone taught me so much about myself and exposed a lot of sides that I

wasn't aware I have it also made me kind of suck it up buttercup moments I went

through those a lot because I was kind of looking around and there's no one

there to help me sound like okay you you're gonna save yourself today again I

have to say I had a very like pink romantic idea of Paris I was thinking

about romance and Eiffel Tower and people playing music in the streets and

you know offering me baguettes while I walk that wasn't the case I always tell

everybody like I was meant to be French like something happened and I was just

like was born in the wrong place but I was meant to be French that trip it was

mainly to get a lot of tests shoot the agencies trying to kind of build your

portfolio you go to a lot of castings everyday were between three to six or

seven castings and the more castings you have the better because otherwise I just

remember we would like be sitting in the apartment doing nothing the weekends

were like super boring we would go somewhere with the girls like walk

around Paris I would just kind of go and get lost I loved walking around and

feeling the culture I wasn't the person that would

go to the museums or like the more touristy places that's why I literally

been to Paris maybe six times before I've even came close to the Eiffel Tower

or close to no to them I kind of like to experience that

differently than most people I didn't build any relationship with the girls

that were there on my first trip because a lot of the girls were always like come

and leave it's usually not the same girls for the whole month it was very

like hard to really build any friendships so it was very lonely but

again it was better than being back home I got the opportunity to escape it also

kind of exposed me to reality and I was so like you can do it and you do it and

you book something amazing and I think that that trip really taught me that

it's such a process there's so many things I need to work on and there's so

many things that I have to figure out about myself and fix it and because that

trip I didn't have any friends and I didn't really have anyone to talk to I

was observing a lot and I think through that observation of you know just people

walking down the street to the book rosette the agency to the girls that

were staying in the apartment with me I really learned a lot about how I want to

present myself and how I want to carry myself the things that I'm interested in

music and books and I just really let my curiosity bloom there and I followed it

a lot which was really exciting and although it was kind of a sad time in my

life I look back at that trip and I just remember it to be so lonely but in a

very beautiful way if that makes sense for new faces for girls that just

started you know it was first like the initial trip was more about getting

acquainted with like the clients and go to as many castings as possible and

build your portfolio and that was kind of really it I didn't really get any

confidence my first trip in Paris I think that I also didn't book anything

because you can tell by the way I was carrying myself you know just like my

eyes that I was so insecure and I think that there's so much more to modeling

than like being super beautiful because you are in competition with so many

different girls personality and the way you carry yourself and how you present

yourself is so important at the end of the day it's human interaction it's like

the castings the Booker's the clients will remember you over someone else

because you made them think or smile or laugh or you made a joke like there's a

whole thing behind it right so it's just like human interaction like I was not at

all at a place where I knew who I was and I just was just trying to kind of

survive and kind of hiding in my room hoping that the Booker's not going to

call me be like you know what we made a mistake you should go back home that was

my first trip to Paris I came back I felt defeated but I was ready to get

back to it and like do it again I went back to Paris four more times after that

I already started booking jobs actually and I felt like I was kind of growing

into myself and that's when I also discovered the personality aspect and I

feel like the job that I did book was because I just like kind of left an

impression a memorable impression and I was already in an apartment that was

kind of independent from the Booker's there was no book her living there so it

was just like girls and I actually had a chance to build relationships another

thing that is very memorable for me that happened in Harris was I think my first

sexual harassment with the sexual harassment I just remembered I stopped

in Paris for a couple of days because I was actually going to Tokyo for work for

like three months I was going to see another agency because I switched an

agency and I was wearing like a dress it was summer with heels and holding my

book and I was going to see that agency and I was like I felt so happy because I

was going to Tokyo Tokyo it was always like a place I was so excited to visit

and I was really excited to meet that agency because they were like super

interested in me so remember I took the metro and I went up the stairs and when

I was walking this one guy behind me just like touched my butt like under my

skirt I just remember that I turned around and he was just account

he just like kept walking and I was just standing there and I was shocked and I

was looking around and no one like did anything or notice or a store like

nothing I just remembered I felt so violated my mood completely like crashed

I felt really gross I just wanted to go back to the apartment and like just be

by myself and I changed this dress and heels but I had to go and see cuz I had

a meeting with this agency and when I walked in i obviously like felt

disgusting and you could sense like my energy was completely off that meeting

did not go well that's really all I could remember I

never told my mom dad I never told anybody that because it just felt like

what is it gonna do like I don't know the guy is I just remembered how

violated I feel and I'm sure that a lot of girls experience it in the modeling

industry from photographers from people that they work with I think today it's

much better because today a lot of models have more voices you know there's

social media that just like really put a lot of transparency on people a lot of

people have the platform now to talk about issues this story time really took

us a turn but I still have very fond memories of Paris it so reminds me of

how much beauty and goodness and amazing music and food and appreciation for

different little things that I wasn't exposed to before it exposed me to a lot

of it my goal is still to learn French one day

it's literally like on top of my French and Spanish I have to concur that I

wanted to share what I experienced in Paris if you guys have any questions you

let me know I wonder if I should keep doing these story times about my

modeling experiences just living in different places in Spain and in Tokyo

and like other places that I've been to and working with some big brands so let

me know if you are interested in hearing any of this thank you guys so much for

watching I'll see you next time