Name: オンライン虐待とメンタルヘルス｜リディア・エリス・ミレン (ONLINE ABUSE & MENTAL HEALTH | Lydia Elise Millen)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T09:14:53.000Z
Duration: 26 min 20 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

everyone and welcome it back to my channel.

比較級形容詞

Today's video is a little bit of a different one, so obviously this channel, I'm crossing my legs because it's far more comfortable.

動名詞

But obviously this channel is predominantly about me blogging and my life on dhe beauty and fashion.

And I spent the last two years kind of focusing around that and building stories around that and talking about stuff like that and talking about what I like and oh my God, this cherished the uncomfortable.

But today's video is more of a chatty video, although I do want to keep it quite to the point, and I have some water with me so that I can keep talking and not to get dry mouth.

But I wanted to talk about something that I have not really spoken about in depth on my channel.

I feel like there are so many videos around this subject, and it almost seems like everyone is suffering in some way with their mental health on dhe.

It's talked about so much more now, which is amazing, and it's so great that this is becoming more of a talking point.

I've not really ever delved into it too much on my channel because I kind of felt like, you know, everyone else had it covered.

I've got kind of a different angle to take on it and to just discuss it.

So basically, I just thought I would tell you a bit about me.

My mental health journey, What I went through where I am now on Dhe away in between.

I'm hoping that it isn't gonna be as long as my vlogs, but I can't promise anything.

So the reason why I'm talking about this now is because I feel like I'm someone that has gone through it on dhe Come out the other side.

There is a lot of talk about coping with your mental health on anxiety and things like that.

All of the different facets that mental health has on dhe.

I don't necessarily see a lot of people talking about where they are now or whether they've overcome it.

You cope necessarily with what I went through on a daily basis.

So that's basically why I'm offering a little bit of insight into my mental health.

And now I'm gonna start talking about why and get into the good stuff.

So I would say that I first experienced problems with my mental health around five years ago on, if you don't know, Ali and I bought our first home after being together a year, and we talked about all of that in our boyfriend tags.

So if you want to watch that, it's in the description box gambling on what had happened before, that is, I've been in a really long term relationship on DDE that broke down, and I ended up getting into another relationship, which actually wasn't a good relationship for either of us involved.

Quite a lot on To say that it crashed and burned is an understatement.

I often think to myself, all that should never have happened, but it all comes down Thio my path on.

That's another video that I kind of want Thio Touch on is how I view relationships and how I've seen my relationship.

So if you want to know something about relationships and you want to have a chat about that, then let me know in the description box.

Give this video thumbs up and I'll know that you want to see that in the next kind of chatting video.

I actually found myself without anywhere to live.

I moved back from university to live with him on Dhe.

I I didn't have a great relationship with my mom at the time, so I think I went back there and I was sleeping on her sofa, which was just awful.

That was when I was really I, like, had nowhere to go.

And luckily I ended up eventually with my grandma and I say there for two years on Dhe.

I believe that it kind of started creeping up on me.

Then in that time I met Ali and we start our relationships.

I realized I wanted to save to buy a house.

I wanted to save my money, buy myself a house on Dhe.

I didn't want to have to rely on anyone in my life.

I wanted to have that security of not needing anyone.

I just spent my weekends with Ali on Dhe.

Saved all my money as we started approaching the time that I was gonna move, Allie.

But the idea to me that we should buy together on dhe move our relationship forward.

It was a little bit sooner than I think our families were ready for, but they were really supportive and really lovely about it.

And we just went into it with really sort of grown up mind set on, you know, it didn't work out.

Luckily, now we're married, but I think the responsibility of owning a home what was what tipped me over the edge.

I I don't think I'd mentally prepared myself for the pressure of that on dhe.

I was working in a job where I don't think I felt very secure on.

I felt like I was gonna lose my job at any moment on it.

I'd started experiencing problems with my sleep at my grandma's, and I kind of I don't know what's wrong with me, like I'm absolutely shattered.

But when it comes to actually falling asleep, I can't do it.

I can't fall asleep, darted there, And then when we moved home, it got progressively worse.

So I booked myself in at the doctors, and it turned out that I had sleep anxiety.

So somehow all of this suffered, like manifested itself in my sleep.

Sleeping became the biggest part of my life, and I was just focusing everything on the fact that he needed to sleep.

And the fact that I was doing that was making it a whole lot worse.

And I was being all of this pressure on my sleep, and when it came down to it, I wasn't able to sleep.

I would be extremely unhappy and extremely tired and grouchy on dhe.

I couldn't wait to get home and fall asleep, and then the vicious cycle would just happen again and I wouldn't sleep on Dhe.

I can't even express to you how the frustration was from that frustration would be the actual anxiety side of things.

So I would begin to panic and stress about the fact that I wasn't sleeping, and I then had to get up in the morning and go to work and drive down the M one, and I became extremely unhappy.

There was one time when I couldn't sleep on.

Guy ended up having to phone the 111 help line because I honestly thought I was dying.

The panic within me, Andi, the unsettled feeling on and the fear that's the only thing that I can kind of describe as the fear of yourself was so much that I just I called them.

H s help in my life, and I haven't called since it was terrifying.

I was sat down on the sofa downstairs because I didn't want to disturb Ali because Ollie obviously has his job and his life, and he can't be babying me throughout the night, and I felt that immense guilt for that as well.

So it is all kind of like knock on effects from this feeling off, being out of my depth, my fear of losing my job and then losing my house on, then losing everything in ending back where I waas a few years earlier on Dhe.

I lived that way for about 3 to 4 months.

I I've been to the doctor's on a few occasions.

Initially, they prescribed me die as a Pam.

Now die as a Pam is something that you just don't really want to be messing around with too much.

I kept it in my top drawer as kind of like I know it's there.

I've got that that knowledge that is there.

And it was only in real times of need that I would kind of break one of the tablets on Dhe used like a crumb of it and hope that that could help me get to sleep.

But more than more often than not, it didn't really help.

It wasn't enough to knock me out, but I was petrified of the tablet as well.

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オンライン虐待とメンタルヘルス｜リディア・エリス・ミレン (ONLINE ABUSE & MENTAL HEALTH | Lydia Elise Millen)

anxiety

cognitive

incredibly

struggle