And welcome back to my reaching channel on today.

I'm talking about something that I've never talked about.

My channel.

If some of you have followed me from the very, very, very, very First post type out on my block, you might remember that I had, I think I can't remember.

Yeah, I got two boyfriends of the beginning on Dhe, then very swiftly met Ali afterwards.

And so I've always kind of been in a relationship with Ali on dhe.

I think lots of people that have been watching for well, well, that, in fact, I'm sorry.

I know that people are interested because I just asked on my instagram stories on so many of the questions we're asking me about.

Relationship advice, past relationship.

Have I ever been in a toxic relationship?

And I thought, You know what?

For the first time in my career, let's talk about some of the things from my past and some of my past relationships.

No friendships.

I'm meeting my my past boyfriends.

I'm not gonna obviously name them on.

I'm not gonna be going into too much detail.

But there were definitely some really important lessons that I learned from them on, hopefully by me.

Sharing this will help you if you're going through anything similar with some of the things that I went through in my past.

So without further ado, let's get into some of the questions because I think that this is gonna be quite an interesting one.

So that's question I had come in was, I'm not gonna name because this is like an anonymous one.

Yeah.

Okay, so the first question that came in Waas Did you have any serious relationships before Ali?

Yes, I definitely did.

I think I had my first ever boyfriend like proper boyfriend at the age off 15 on Dhe.

He was a little older than making things about three or four years older than me on.

He wasn't in school anymore.

And I was still at school, and I thought I was, like, the coolest person in the world that he was actually the first person to ever break my heart as well, which waas an experience in itself.

I honestly before he was gonna end me, I thought that he was the love of my life and I would never, ever get over it.

And I think It probably took me about two years to get over him.

After that I had another boyfriend, which was when I kind of went through my alternative like looks phase.

I never really like.

I've always been into the same kinds of music and things like that, but I really dressed a lot differently.

I think I kind of involved with him and I had my interesting hair cut.

I got my lip pierced, have fleshed other horse.

It was all very interesting on, I think, about two years.

Yes, two years on.

Then after him I had a very so brief relationship with someone that had been a friend and he was a little bit younger than me on DDE had always had a crush on me and then I went out with him on Dhe.

It wasn't a very good relationship and it ended quite swiftly.

Then I had a very, very, very long term relationship.

When I moved thio, I beat her to work for a while.

I was in a relationship for about four or five years with someone that I met there, but it was long distance, so it was quite difficult, quite tough and I ended up being quite lonely from it.

That was when I was at university.

And then after that, I ended up getting back with the guy that I went out with when I was 15 on drinking doing that, which did not last very long.

On about two weeks after that relationship ended, I met my husband on DDE.

That was that.

The next question kind of takes me back to the beginning and it says, How was your first relationship ever?

So going back Thio my relationship when I was 15 it was It was quite short lived.

From what I remember, I think it was definitely under a year.

Hey, literally broke my heart, my little 15 year old girl heart like, split it into and it was really, really horrible.

But I just I thought that he was like everything, and it was really funny because it was totally no romantic in any way shape.

Before I met him, when he was working on a house down my road, he was a roof on who worked on this house.

And every day I would walk past and he would be soul a night light, cause I was 15 and silly, and that was how we ended up meeting on picked me up in his very souped up car on.

I just remember looking at him, and I just thought, Oh my gosh, he was just the veal and Kendall and I would never ever love again on it was really difficult because I think we were from a very different sort of lifestyles on Dhe.

His friends really, really didn't like me.

Really, really didn't like me.

Actel.

So that was quite difficult.

And I think that he was quite bothered by the fact that I wasn't liked by them on Dhe.

I think he broke up with me and dumped me about Was that eight months Thio Thio a year later on, and I took it very, very badly because we lived really close together and he would always be driving around in his car.

I would like going walk around the streets where I live, hoping I would see him on Dhe.

It was just horrendous, like, absolutely horrendous.

I learned his phone number off my heart, which was the worst thing I ever did.

Policy.

From that day, I never learned another guy's phone number off by heart again.

I still don't even know my husband's off by half.

But I feel like times have changed since then because I had my little Nokia 51 10 or wherever it waas on.

You could only have about 10 numbers in there, but I love his number of my heart, so I could just couldn't get rid of him.

Like when I was feeling like I miss him.

I just text him and then I'll be like, No, what?

Did you do that on Dhe?

I think it definitely did take me to two years, if not longer to get over him.

And he loved it.

He enjoyed the fact that I couldn't get over him and he would talk me with it on.

He would make it so difficult for me.

Andi always had, like, girlfriends, and I just never had another boyfriend in those two years.

They just made me so upset because I would just like if I was in the pub where we lived and he was there, I'd have to watch him with his new girlfriend.

Off love.

When you're 15 is just like nothing else.

I just I can't believe how I felt and how sad I wasin how miserable I waas and just if I could go back now, I would literally shaped me and be like pull yourself together and go and find someone better.

Needless to say, they will say that the first cut is the deepest on DDE.

I did end up many, many years later, getting back with my first ever love on DDE.

It was not a great relationship.

It was not a healthy relationship on, and his friends still hated me.

It was still back.

Unfortunately, on this occasion the tables turned and I actually ended up ending the relationship on.

It was a little bit messy, but it was definitely for the best.

And I think that now it's so nice looking back on those past relationships on being able to see how much better those people are and how much better off they are on, probably how much happier we both are not together.

So yeah, that was put on interesting first relationship and definitely something that I would know recommend revisiting later down the line in your life because it could be quite messy.

Okay, next up, I had so many questions about overcoming heartbreak on Dhe.

I definitely definitely don't think that I, um, was well versed in this is I should be, although I have definitely had my heart broken, but I can be quite so stern on.

I think it's very different when you're actually going through it, but my biggest, it would be remove them from your life, remove everything that you could possibly have off that person from your life.

Remove that number, remove them off.

Social media removed anything that will remind you that person, because you will only be making yourself feel worse on DDE.

You will only be torturing yourself in the long run because all of those things remind you of times that don't exist anymore.

They're not.

They're just memories on dhe it's not.

It's not current relationship anymore, so I definitely think that that will accelerate the process.

But these things can take time, and it's important to sort of acknowledge those feelings on DDE, not try and suppress them, but just acknowledge them, feel them on dhe Also try to remain a strong as you possibly can because it could get even messier when you start getting into casual situations.

People always get her when someone thinks old golf.

You know, maybe we could do this casually.

And there's always gonna be that one person which I have been where you think this is definitely gonna go somewhere and it's this is gonna make him for work in love with me and it just it just never does.

And if anything, I kind of felt like I lost a lot of my self respect and it made it harder for me to then go on and get over it because I kept going back and I kept revisiting.

I kept giving myself home.

Obviously, if you are completely able, Thio do that, Look off your feelings, you're good.

I just wasn't that type of person.

I was very much someone that, like fools in love really, really hard.

I find it very, very difficult if I get my heart broken to remove that person.

So I have to be really so cut and dry and not revisit that person again, much like so.

Yeah, I think it takes a lot of self discipline on dhe, a lot of belief in yourself, but also inclined to yourself and allowing yourself to just go by yourself.

Regroup.

Get your head space in the right space.

I'm never someone like burn everything.

I don't think that that's the answer.

I mean, it's important.

Thio.

Acknowledge the feelings that you have for that person.

Remember them, follow them away and keep them.

And I'm sure that there will be things that may be you realize about that person.

Once you're out of the relationship, it gives you kind of clarity.

Maybe you realize that you're a better person now that you're not with them.

I know that I've had relationships where I've come out of them, and it's like my blinkers have been taken off on.

I've kind of lost a part of myself, and I allowed that person to even just like control me a little bit, and I'm sure that that wasn't their intention.

But maybe through insecurities of their own, they maybe wanted to keep me in a certain place on dhe me.

No move from that on dhe.

So sometimes breakups can be a really kind of change and a real catalyst.

The change and I know that a lot of people that will be going through this right now and thinking like, how am I ever gonna get my life back on track?

And what am I gonna do it by myself?

And I always feel like this is almost like a reset on dhe.

You can start everything again on you, can do things differently and do things better and grow from it.

And you'll really learn about your resilience and your strength during a time like that.

And I think that it's really important.

Thio focus on those things, but you may not realize how much you've grown and your strength until you kind of made it through it.

But it really is such an amazing thing to learn on.

I definitely think my biggest growth on dhe change on dhe Some of the most positive moments in my life have come from the horrible times when you have broken relationships and you break up with people and lives together, become live separate.

But I definitely feel like those have been some of the most pinnacle moments in my life.

I think I always think thio the fact that Sally and I met because I don't think that I would be doing this and all of the stuff I get to do now.

I haven't met Alley.

And if I had stayed in those relationships previously or in unhappy relationships, or if I got back with people that had broken up with me and stayed with them, I would never be doing the things I'm doing now.

So it's almost like fate sometimes comes on and ends the relationship for you because that's not the path that you're supposed to be on.

And you're supposed to be doing something different on.

That's the universe's way of showing you that I always try and tell any of my friends or people that I'm talking thio that essentially going through that could be the start of the most amazing life change, and you're only gonna know if you stick out.

So yeah, Oh, my gosh, I'm such a Rambler.

What's next?

Who?

How to deal with jealousy.

Now I can safely say that that is not an ounce of jealousy in my relationship with Ali.

That was something that he taught me.

I was very used to feeling very jealous on dhe, insecure with previous partners, and I think that sometimes they would do that on purpose.

I don't know why, maybe to do with their own insecurities.

But I was always made to feel very jealous on dhe, insecure like that.

There was the possibility that they could cheat on me or find someone else any moment.

And it was quite another sectioning feeling on.

So I was quite used to that.

When are met Ali.

And he almost had to sort teach me that.

No, everyone was like that on DDE that he told me what it was to trust people on.

I think this is one of the answers to a lot of questions I got.

How did I know that he was one?

I knew that, you know, I was attracted to him, but I trusted him on DDE.

We had such a great like, a sense of humor together.

And it was the trust was something that I never experienced before on dhe.

It was such a an eye opening thing to realize that I've been in so many relationships where I didn't really know what trust Woz and I felt very, very insecure and very unsettled and nervous on.

It was a really wonderful thing to go into a relationship and be like, um so this is what it's like to really trust someone that was quite interesting.

But I would definitely say that dealing with jealousy now is it's not something that I'm able to advise him, because I think that it's part of the sort of the core of the relationship on dhe.

If there's insecurity there, and if someone is making you feel insecure, you're gonna feel jealous about other people.