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  • - Drive is the mode where you're in charge

  • of your thoughts.

  • Whenever you start feeling in your life like,

  • oh my gosh, is this all there is, huge red flag number one.

  • How scared are you?

  • - Less.

  • - She'll be speaking at the next conference, you watch.

  • - Hello, Believe Nation.

  • I'm Evan Carmichael, my one word is Believe.

  • And I believe that entrepreneurs are going to solve

  • all of the world's major problems

  • So to help you on your journey today,

  • we're going to learn from TV host, author and speaker

  • Mel Robbins and my take on her Top 10 Rules of Success,

  • Volume 2.

  • Rule number one is my personal favorite.

  • I'd love to know which one you guys like the best.

  • And as always, as you're listening,

  • if something really resonates with you,

  • there's a message that really holds true to you,

  • please leave it down in the Comments below

  • and put it in quotes so that other people can be inspired

  • and when you write it down, it's much more likely to stick

  • with yourself as well.

  • Enjoy!

  • (whoosh)

  • - Drive, that's this puppy right here.

  • This is what you want, this is your prefrontal cortex.

  • Drive is the mode where you're in charge of your thoughts.

  • It's where you are fully awake, you are present

  • and you are driving your thoughts and actions.

  • When you're doing that, your prefrontal cortex

  • is active.

  • The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that you need

  • in order to learn new behavior,

  • in order to do something difficult,

  • in order to do something uncertain,

  • in order to do strategic thinking.

  • I'm going to give you an example.

  • So I'm a rightie.

  • If I were to try to write with my left hand,

  • and like you,

  • Lewis is going to torture me-- - Sure.

  • and tie my hand behind my back and make me like do this,

  • I could do it.

  • It would look like I was writing with my foot.

  • (laughs)

  • And if Lewis came up to me and said,

  • hey Mel, you want some BulletProof Coffee?

  • I'd be like, Lewis I'm trying to concentrate.

  • I can't do this.

  • My prefrontal cortex would be el fuego

  • because it is firing on all cylinders

  • to communicate to my hand, new behavior.

  • So, the thing that's cool about that

  • is that you can use a simple trick.

  • The moment you feel yourself hesitate,

  • the moment you've got one of those moments

  • where you know that you need to,

  • this is that moment that Lewis talks to you about

  • where you got to step outside of your comfort zone

  • and you got to lean into your passion.

  • And you've got to really take some risks.

  • And you got to feel the fear and you got to do it anyway.

  • That's the moment where you just woke up.

  • Now you got a decision to make.

  • Are you going to drift back into the habits

  • or are you going to awaken your prefrontal cortex

  • and drive forward and focus

  • and do something new?

  • I want you to start seeing something bigger.

  • I know you're all successful.

  • I'm talking about something really big for your life.

  • And in order to do that, you have to answer this question,

  • what do you really want?

  • Now I'm not talking about something small.

  • I'm not talking about a little haiku.

  • I'm not talking about renovating your kitchen.

  • I'm not talking about signing on 10 new customers

  • this month.

  • I'm talking about what you really want.

  • You know three years ago, I was a lawyer

  • and a business coach working with private clients

  • and big corporations all over the country.

  • And I came to a seminar, just like this one.

  • A big leadership seminar and I went there with my husband,

  • we're both business owners.

  • I went because I wanted to be more successful.

  • I went because I wanted to make even more money

  • than I already did.

  • I was sitting exactly where you are, in fact,

  • I was sitting about, I don't know, 15 rows back

  • right where that woman with her hand on, her hand, yet you.

  • Yeah, she's like, hi!

  • I was sitting and I was taking notes

  • and I'm like, okay I'm sure to make more money.

  • And then all of a sudden, she walked on the stage.

  • That is Martha Beck.

  • She writes a column for Oprah Winfrey.

  • She travels around the country speaking.

  • She's a best-selling author.

  • And when she walked on-stage, I literally stopped listening.

  • Please keep listening to me, right now.

  • (audience laughs)

  • And it hit me.

  • I said, I want to be doing that.

  • I'm ready for a bigger state, like that's it.

  • And what's so interesting

  • about when you answer that question

  • is that you don't answer it up here, you answer it here.

  • That's how you see something bigger for yourself.

  • You guy are really cute because everybody's like,

  • I don't see it.

  • I don't see anything for myself right now.

  • Now I'm just confused, I thought I knew what I wanted.

  • And you know, now Mel, I'm not really sure.

  • Right now, the economy is so bad.

  • I mean, it's so bad that even if you're successful.

  • I know sometimes I feel embarrassed talking about my success

  • around some of my friends because I know

  • that they're really struggling.

  • I get calls everyday into the radio show.

  • People saying, oh I've got this great idea

  • but I just don't know if it's the right time.

  • You know what I say to them?

  • I say, yeah you know, you're right.

  • The recession, it's huge.

  • You should wait.

  • Those dreams yeah, put 'em on hold.

  • That's right.

  • You should stay in that job you can't stand

  • just a little bit longer.

  • You got college bills to pay.

  • I mean, what you're doing it's fine.

  • You're busy, right?

  • That guy you're dating, he's good enough for you

  • but for the people in this room, baloney.

  • You know, that's right.

  • You know exactly what you want.

  • And the only thing that you need to do is to admit it.

  • Now this may sound weird because I know most of you

  • came in here because you're like,

  • I know what I want, I'm here with success

  • to try to figure it out.

  • I'm talking about something bigger.

  • Much bigger.

  • I'll admit to you what it is that I'm up to.

  • And the truth is, it's embarrassing

  • because when you lock onto something way bigger

  • than where you're at, it is downright embarrassing

  • to tell people

  • because you're not there yet.

  • But I mean, at this rate,

  • I've already admitted to you that I stalked Martha Beck

  • and that I brought a haiku to the best Lit agent

  • in the country so I got nothing to lose at this point.

  • So this is what I want.

  • (audience laughs)

  • Well not him, I'm married.

  • I want what he's got.

  • I want 600 radio stations.

  • I want two million listeners.

  • And I could certainly deal with the $400 million salary.

  • In fact, if I got it, I'd renovate everybody's kitchen.

  • (audience laughs)

  • And you know, the thing is though what's so interesting

  • about this is that I didn't pick him.

  • I mean, I'm not looking to become a cigar-smoking,

  • Conservative political guy that like stirs the pot

  • and makes everybody all mad.

  • I'm the liberal lifestyle gal

  • that's trying to help people out.

  • But what I want to do is I want to use radio

  • to entertain people and help them achieve their dreams.

  • And when I really think about it,

  • he's the one that's in the front.

  • I want to not only reach what's he doing, I want to surpass him.

  • I mean, do you think I like it

  • when my friends come over to my office in Boston

  • at my house and they're like, what is that guy doing

  • on your board?

  • (audience laughs)

  • No, it's embarrassing.

  • When you admit the big thing that you're up to,

  • it's embarrassing.

  • I have 40 stations, he's got 600.

  • There's a big gap so admitting where you want to get to

  • is embarrassing

  • but you got to do it.

  • - Mel Robbins, your radio show, Make It Happen,

  • helps people go for success.

  • You actually say there are three red flags

  • we should look for that will actually tell us

  • it's time to change.

  • - Big ones.

  • Whenever you start feeling in your life like,

  • oh my gosh, is this all there is?

  • Huge red flag number one.

  • Number two, when you spend your energy being jealous

  • or having the grass is greener over there,

  • another big wake-up call for you

  • that you're ready for a change.

  • And then the other final red flag is

  • if you're spending your life waiting to be happy.

  • I'll be happy when,

  • I'll be happy when I get married.

  • I'll be happy when I change my job.

  • I'll be happy when I want your business.

  • It's time to change now 'cause that moment's not coming

  • unless you make it come.

  • - But how do I know that I'm maybe not just living in

  • a fantasy land, that I'm never going to,

  • no matter where I am, the grass is always greener concept

  • that oh we say, this could be better

  • and then I might be making change for change sake

  • but it might not be really what I need.

  • - Baloney, if you're still saying that to yourself

  • over and over and over again

  • and you're complaining, what you're really good at

  • is ignoring your gut.

  • So it's time to start tuning into your gut

  • and making some changes.

  • - Okay so people see these signs,

  • why don't they make changes then?

  • I mean what you just described is very depressing.

  • - I can tell you why, I can tell you why.

  • The reason why they don't make changes

  • is because what happens is, you say,

  • okay I want to do X and then immediately what you see next

  • are all the obstacles.

  • And so you're actually smart, you're not necessarily afraid.

  • You're smart because you think, how the hell am I going to go

  • from being a lawyer to a carpenter

  • when I have a mortgage to pay.

  • I've got tuition bills to go.

  • My wife is going to kill me if I make this kind of change.

  • So you get stuck because you see obstacles

  • and then you never do anything.

  • - Those are very real obstacles.

  • - Of course they are. - Okay so--

  • how do I kind of get past those obstacles?

  • Very easy, let's say I recognize the warning signals.

  • Okay, time for change.

  • Danger, Will Robinson.

  • This is not the right path but it does seem Herculean

  • the hurdles I have to go over.

  • - Don't quit your job, that's number one.

  • Second thing is, I think most change in life

  • is not about putting on a big cape and jumping off a cliff,

  • or out of an airplane.

  • It's more like leaning into something.

  • So if you find yourself daydreaming about something

  • or wishing that you could change your life,

  • start investigating.

  • Start having conversations about it.

  • Start leaning into change.

  • If you took money off the table,