VOICE From JJ Abrams, the visionary

behind Star Wars episode 7, and Felicity...comes a reboot impossible not to

enjoy. Unless you're William Shatner.

VOICE (CONT'D) Star Trek.

VOICE (CONT'D) The cool new franchise that used

time travel gobbledygook to throw away 50 years of canon.

But who cares! Star Trek is awesome again.

VOICE (CONT'D) Meet Nero. A Romulan out for

vengeance after his home planet is destroyed.

He'll be given a second chance to save his species when a black hole

sends him back in time. But instead of warning the Romulans about their

impending doom, he'll drift around waiting in space for 25 years.

Come on, they don't have phones in space?

VOICE (CONT'D) But there's one man who can stop

him...Captain Pike...who's quickly captured.

VOICE (CONT'D) Leaving only one other

man...Commander Spock...who quits after an emotional breakdown.

VOICE (CONT'D) Leaving only one other other man

who can stop him...

VOICE (CONT'D)

Captain James T. Kirk, an angry

drunk who is accepted into

Starfleet without any paperwork,

background checks or medical

evaluations.

VOICE (CONT'D) Come aboard, as Kirk commands the

USS Enterprise. The federation's

heavily armed Apple store, full of

Mac Geniuses who rise through the

ranks, not because of service or

aptitude, but because of things

like...

VOICE (CONT'D) ...the flu

VOICE (CONT'D) Death.

Gross incompetence.

VOICE (CONT�D) And sheer proximity to a clean uniform.

VOICE (CONT'D) Experience a film that made nerds

cry...

VOICE (CONT'D) Nerds cheer...

VOICE (CONT'D) And nerds go...whuh?

VOICE (CONT'D) Explore a brand new Star Trek

universe that takes all the Star Trek aliens you know and love...and

doesn't show any of them. Instead witness:

VOICE (CONT'D) Big eyes!

VOICE (CONT'D) Long Face!

VOICE (CONT'D) Tic-Tac Eyes!

VOICE (CONT'D) And Tan Mom!

VOICE (CONT'D) Prepare to be blown away by what

was essentially JJ Abram's Star Wars demo reel.

VOICE (CONT'D) It's a saga that asks all the

important questions, like: why does Chris Pine make this same stupid

face every time he gets punched?

VOICE (CONT'D) And oh, Winona Ryder's still working?

VOICE (CONT'D) And oh, Winona Ryder's still working?

VOICE (CONT'D) So blast off into a new era of

actually watchable Star Trek films, filled with action, excitement,

and...lens flares.

VOICE (CONT'D) And even more flares!

VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously, how can anyone even see on this ship?

VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...

VOICE (CONT'D) Zapp Brannigan

VOICE (CONT'D) Spork

VOICE (CONT'D) Oh my!

VOICE (CONT'D) Space Natiri

VOICE (CONT'D) Mike Tyson

VOICE (CONT'D) No one's favorite

VOICE (CONT'D) Keith Urban

VOICE (CONT'D) Groundskeeper Willie

VOICE (CONT'D) Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry

VOICE (CONT'D) And...Old Spork

VOICE (CONT'D) Star Trek.

VOICE (CONT'D) Man that was cool. So how long til

they reboot Next Generation? Man

that is gonna be radical!