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  • -Hello! Hello!

  • Thank you and be quiet!

  • Now, listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna yell this once!

  • Was tonight the landslide we dreamed of? No.

  • Was it the small victory we expected? Also no.

  • I'd like to congratulate my opponent

  • and America's favorite tickle monster, Joe Biden.

  • I'm sure he is handling his victory with humility and grace.

  • -Slap your ass and call my lawyer. We did it!

  • Hey, man, no one thought I'd be standing here on Super Thursday

  • in the great state of what do ya call it.

  • No one!

  • But check your record player, Jack,

  • 'cause Uncle Joey made it!

  • -Look, was I hoping to celebrate tonight? Sure.

  • I was ready to get lit!

  • [ Cheers and applause ] I was ready to get slizzered!

  • I was ready to get Tik Tok'd and do a "leep-urd."

  • But instead, Joe had a big night in the South

  • which luckily has not gone to his head.

  • -Yee-hoo!

  • I got Texas! I got Alabama!

  • I got the whole dang Old Town Road!

  • In fact, I was there when they wrote the damn song!

  • -I won California. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • I won Vermont.

  • Well, I better have won Vermont.

  • Last time I checked, the state flag was

  • me, Ben, and Jerry hotboxing in a North Face tent.

  • Come on, people!

  • -Now I want to introduce you to some folks.

  • This is my sister Valerie.

  • -Sir, I'm a security guard.

  • -Oh. And this is my wife, Jill.

  • -No, I'm -- I'm the same security guard.

  • -Dagnabbit! They switched on me!

  • They s-- They switched on me.

  • -Now -- Now let me be clear.

  • It's still a tight race between me and Joe,

  • so all I'll say is, may the best man live.

  • -Uh, don't you mean "may the best man win"?

  • -No, I do not. I do not.

  • -And l-let me tell you something about Bernie.

  • You know who's fired up for Bernie? Russia!

  • They want him to win.

  • You know who's fired up for me? No one!

  • Hell, even I'm still on the fence, and I am me, damn it!

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Listen to me. The coronavirus has hit our shores.

  • We need a leader who knows

  • a thing or two about a health crisis.

  • And look at me. Look at me. I am a walking health crisis!

  • My Fitbit says, "Holy crap. How is this guy still going?"

  • -And that's when I'll look the coronavirus dead in the eye

  • and say, "Back off, Buster Brown.

  • America's not open for business. Not today, not ever!"

  • That right, Jimbo? -Sir, who do you think I am?

  • -Luckily, it's not all bad 'cause earlier today

  • Mike Bloomberg dropped his solid-gold ass out of the race.

  • Go home, Mike!

  • No one wants your money!

  • No one wants your money!

  • -Listen here, Mike. I want your money.

  • I want all of it.

  • You can donate to me at JoeBiden@skip-a-dee-doo-dah.net.

  • Thank you and thank you to the great city of whatchamacallit.

  • You've been confusing.

  • -Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

  • -Hey, they're saying your name.

  • -Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

  • Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe!

-Hello! Hello!

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ジョー・バイデンとバーニー・サンダースのスーパーチューズデー・ラリー (Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders' Super Tuesday Rallies)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
動画の中の単語