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For two hundred and fifty performances of "Inside the actors studio," I have interviewed
so many great celebrities. I think it's time now and the demand is great for me to interview me.
Cockamamie. Cockamamie is actually a corruption of the word decalamania, which has to do with
a craze, a frenzy to stick things on walls and posters and T-shits.
And I like cockamamie because it sounds really filthy. Ha ha hahahhahaha
Dumb*ss. It does a disservice to the word "dumb" and an even bigger disservice to the
word "ass." Therefore I say, down with dumb*ass, up with dipsh*t.
And the answer is a bottle of 1922 Lafit Rothshield, grown on the north side of the vineyard, during
a terrible rainy year and kept in Napoleon's casket, wrapped in a precious oriental rug.
You can find a bottle of that, I'm yours, and if you can't, two buck chuck is not that
bad. It has lovely body and for two bucks you can get really sh*tfaced.
Any republican congressman naked in a sits bath, I find that a ghastly prospect. When
Michelle Bachman was there, there was a possiblity of some nudity worth examining, but now, spare me please!
The ancient, honorable, and evocative, pllllll. It's often called a raspberry, or a Bronx
cheer, but I prefer to call it the sound of a healthy fart.
The sound of those recorded messages that go "if you want to reach uncle Frederick press
nine, if you would like to have your leg shaved press seven, if you want to haven an assignation
with a hairy goat in the yard press pound.
If you don't give a sh*t, just press operator and a living person will tell you to go stick
it up your *ss
I am reminded of the winning poem in the Hustler magazine poetry contest. It was so filthy
that for it to be repeated on television the person giving the poem had to substitute a
musical note instead of giving the word.
So the winning poem in the hustler poetry contest went "buh duh duh duh duh dum, buh
duh duh duh duh duh..
..f*ck.
Delightful!
Viking. I would like to have set sail in a long ship, I would liked to have used a broad
axe to split a skull, and I would particularly have enjoyed a hat with horns.
Waiter at Denny's restaurant. I don't know how many times I've heard some old woman say
to her husband, "Did we get the flounder, Harvey or was it that crappy hamburger again?"
I can't tolerate that, and I won't and fortunately I don't need to.
Hi Dad, could I borrow the car? hahahhhaha
And he would say "It's yours sonny boy. It's yours."
Let me end with the great Italian thespian, Luigi Apondonzo Vinny Gugots, who always said,
"...(speaking Italian).." Which translated means..
"Thank you and don't break my balls!" Arrivederci!