WE'VE GOT AN UPDATE ON PRESIDENT TRUMP'S NATIONAL EMERGENCY

DECLARATION WHICH IS, OF COURSE, USING TO GET HIS BORDER WALL

WHILE HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI HAS NOW ASKED MEMBERS OF

CONGRESS TO SIGN A LETTER THAT WOULD OVERHAUL TRUMP'S

DEFá(URJz AND THE RESOLUTION IS SCHEDULED TO BE INTRODUCED

TOMORROW.

I THINK IT'S JUST NICE TO SEE A WOMAN SIGN A LEGAL DOCUMENT

ABOUT TRUMP THAT ISN'T A HUSH AGREEMENT.

(LAUGHTER) IT IS STRANGE.

NOW TO PUT THIS INñr TERMS THAT THE PRESIDENT WOULDñr UNDERSTAND

BASICALLY NANCY PELOSI IS BEING A WALL BETWEEN TRUMP ANDçó HIS

PRECIOUS WALL AND POLITICALLY SHE'S GOING TO MAKE HIM PAY FOR

IT.

(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)ñr

NOW HERE'S THE THING, THIS IS WHY, IF YOU HAVE TO HAVE A VOTE

ON WHETHER OR NOT SOMETHING IS AN EMERGENCY, I DON'T THINK IT'S

AN EMERGENCY.

NO ONE CAN BE LIKE OH MY GOD, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE, OKAY,

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

LET'S SEE WHAT THE NEIGHBORS THINK BEFORE WEÑ.' CALL 911.

INçó OTHER TRUMP NEWS, ACCORDING TO A RECENT ARTICLE, HEALTH

OFFICIALS HAVE BEEN INSPECTING DONALD TRUMP'S NEW YORK CITY

RESTAURANTS.

AND HAVE WRITTEN HIM CITATIONS FORÑi NUMEROUS CRITICAL HEALTHñr

VIOLATIONS INCLUDING LIVE MICE.

YEAH.

THE PRESIDENT IS ALREADY CALLING THIS ANOTHER CASE OF HYPOCRISY

BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA.

HE SAYS OH, SURE, IT IS BAD WHEN MY RESTAURANT HAS A MOUSE IN IT.

WHEN DISNEYLAND HAS ONE EVERYBODY LOVES IT.

BUT IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT TRUMP'S RESTAURANTS ARE

ININVESTED WITH VERMIN WHEN YOU CONSIDER EVEN HIS LAWYER LOOKS

LIKE A RAT.

MOVING ON.

(APPLAUSE) MOVING ON.

WE'VE GOT SOME EXCITING TECHNOLOGY NEWS TO TELL YOU

ABOUT.

YESTERDAY SAMSUNG ANNOUNCED THE RELEASE OF THEIR BRAND NEW

PHONE, THE GALAXY FOLD.

IT DOES THIS.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I KNOW.

IT'S PRETTY COOLçó BUT HERE'S TH CATCH.

IT COSTS $2,000.

YEAH.

FOR THAT MUCH BET TER BETTER ALSO UNFOLD INTO A CAR.

THE NEW GALAXY FOLD CAN INSTANTLY DOUBLE IN SIZE.

IT'S BASICALLY ME AFTER THE HOLIDAY BREAK.

BUT SERIOUSLY, LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS A REVOLUTIONARY ADVANCEMENT IN

SMALL-- CELL PHONE TECHNOLOGY, THINK ABOUT IT, NOW YOU HAVE

TWICE AS MANY SCREENS TO CRACK, IT'S WONDERFUL NSM OTHER NEWS

THE OLYMPIC INTERNATIONAL COMMITTEE IS LOOKING AT THE

POSSIBILITY OF HAVING SOME NEW SPORT TO THE 2024 SUMMER

OLYMPICS IN PARIS.

AND ONE OF THOSE SPORTS COULD BE BREAK DANCING.

YEAH, I KNOW.

(APPLAUSE) IT'S INCREDIBLE.

IN A MOMENTÑi JUST LIKEçóÑiÑi TH AN OLYMPIC ATHELETE.

THE BREAK DANCERS WILL BE JUDGED ON OVERALL ATHLETIC ABILITY,

FLEXIBILITY AND WHICH HAT THEY CHOOSE TO PLACE IN FRONT OF THEM

DURING THE PERFORMANCE.

BREAK DANCING IN THE OLYMPICS IS THE FIRST EVENT IN HISTORY WHERE

YOU CAN BECOME A GOLD MEDALIST AND SHOW STILL DISAPPOINT YOUR

PARENTS WITH YOUR CAREER CHOICES.

WE HAD TO TELL BUT THIS, ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY DOG

OWNERS TAKE MORE PICTURES OF THEIR PETS THAN THEY DO OF THEIR

SPOUSE.

YES.

I FEEL LIKE, I FEEL LIKE THIS STUDY HAS ALREADY BEEN CONDUCTED

SEVERAL MILLION TIMES BY ANYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN ON INSTAGRAM.

DOG OWNERS TAKE MORE PICTURES OF THEIR PET THAN OF THEIR SPOUSE.

THE SAME IS ALSO TRUE FOR CAT OWNERS, EXCEPT THEY NEVER HAVE

SPOUSES.

(LAUGHTER) AND FAINLLY THE MARSHMALLOW

HOLIDAY CANDY PEEPS RECENTLY ANNOUNCED SOME STRANGE NEW

FLAVORS INCLUDING COTTON CANDY, ROOT BEER FLOAT AND PANCAKES

WITHSJU YEAH, EVEN THE MICE IN TRUMP'SÑi

RESTAURANT WERE LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT, WE'RE GOOD, I'M ALL RIGHT.

IF YOU THINK PEEPS ARE STOPPING WITH THESE DI GUSTINGLY

SWEETENING NEW FLAVORS, ARE YOUÑ WRONG, THED TOW UNVEILED THEIR

NEWEST FLAVOR, SCREW IT, THIS ONE IS JUST SUGAR.