A2 初級 181 タグ追加 保存
Improvement pill here. Welcome to the beefriend course where I show you how to
befriend more people. Today I want to reveal to you the secret to getting
better at talking to people. So let's dive right into it. So the first
thing you have to understand is that you were not born socially handicapped. We
humans are very social species, so much in fact that you can take a baby and put
him or her in a room full of people, and over time he or she will learn to speak
purely through observation. No one needs to go up to the baby and say "Hey! That's
a cat. Yes, cat, C-A-T. Meow meow. Say with me." you don't have to do any of that. If you
just talk and go about your daily activities, the baby is capable of
learning your language by pure observation. And this is because the
human brain is actually extremely good at identifying patterns and rules when
it comes to social interactions, which is basically what language is if you think
about it. Patterns and rules. So it's not that you
were born socially handicapped, the reason your social skills aren't that
great is simply because you haven't given your brain enough time to observe
interactions and become fluent in all of the patterns and rules. In short, you lack
practice. And for the most part it's not really your fault
because if you think about it, in modern times, we spend the large majority of our
time behind screens interacting with each other and it's only been getting
worse and worse every generation. I didn't get a smartphone until I was
almost like 20 years old, but nowadays most kids get their first smartphone
before they're even ten. And we all know that it doesn't take much skill or
practice to accept the friend request and shoot someone a message. We can type
and use emojis to communicate with each other but it's really really different
from actually talking to someone in real life. When you're texting there are
hundreds of little components that are not there, hundreds of little patterns
and rules that your brain isn't able to observe about the other person, for
example things like their body language, facial expressions, tonality, speed of
talking, proximity, eye contact, etc. These are all components that you have to pay
attention to when talking to someone else in real life
if you want to make friends. But all of these factors are completely missing
when you text or message someone using your magic little rectangle. In a way,
talking to people in real life is like a completely different language. The reason
why your social skills aren't that great and why you feel nervous about meeting
new people is simply because you haven't been giving your brain enough time to
properly learn this language. You're fluent in texting but you're barely
passing real-life talking. Sort of like how I barely passed Chinese in high
school. The secret to getting better at talking to people or learning any
language is to simply get more practice, to interact with more people, to give
your brain more opportunities to observe and learn the unique patterns and rules
of this language. Now you might be wondering "Improvement pill, okay that
makes sense and all, but how do I get more practice?" Well, when I was about 18
years old, I decided to take on what's called the
hundred interaction challenge to improve my social skills. Basically you have a
month to interact with 100 people it doesn't really matter how deep the
interactions are, heck you could run up to people and just say hi and then run
away and that would still count as an interaction. The majority of my
interactions during this challenge involved asking people for directions
while pretending that my phone died and that I was lost. And although these
interactions on a surface level seemed very simple and short, I eventually found
myself transitioning into deeper conversations. And this actually led to a
whole lot of practice for my brain, and I did see a pretty significant boost in my
social skills by the time the challenge was over. Now a quick little side note,
people always ask me to make a course for the hundred interaction challenge
whenever I talk about it, but to be honest it wouldn't really even be a
course, I literally just explained to you all you have to do. But then they'd often
say something like "Oh but it'd be helpful to have an accountability group
and also if you can motivate us every day of the challenge." So if that's
something you're interested in, I guess why not. I'll make the program cuz I do
enjoy helping you out. All you got to do is sign up for my mailing list using the
link in the description box below and I'll let you know the next time we run
this experimental program. Back to the topic at hand, here's a good analogy that
I want to leave you with when it comes to getting better at
talking to people. Watching videos to learn social skills is sort of like
watching videos when you're trying to learn how to ride a bike. Yes it can be
very helpful to watch others do it, it can be helpful to learn exactly how
bikes even work, but the fastest way to learn how to ride a bike is to just jump
on and start pedaling. Sure you'll probably fall over and over again but
eventually you'll get it right, eventually you'll figure out how to
balance properly. And this is basically what happens when you go out and start
talking to more people. Sure you'll probably have a couple of awkward
interactions but eventually you will learn the patterns and rules of the
culture, you'll learn what's funny, what's not appropriate, and over time you will
learn how to speak with finesse, you will learn how to balance. So just go out
there and start talking to more people. That's the secret.
Hope you guys like this video, if you want to learn more about the theory
behind making friends, I suggest you start from the very beginning of the
beefriend course by clicking over here or on the link in the description box below.
Besides that, guys, stay tuned.


Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People

181 タグ追加 保存
Mackenzie 2019 年 11 月 25 日 に公開
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