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  • What's your password?

  • To?

  • To your bank account.

  • No. - No.

  • - No. - Fuck, no.

  • - Nah, I ain't givin' you shit.

  • - Nah, (laughs) actually.

  • (dramatic orchestra music)

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password

  • - What's my what?

  • - [Interviewer] Password

  • - My password?

  • - I'm not gonna tell you my password!

  • - [Interviewer] Why not?

  • - Why are you asking this? (laughs)

  • - My password?

  • - [Interviewer] Yeah!

  • (woman spluttering)

  • - I feel like this is really sketchy! (laughs)

  • - One of my passwords for something is pass--

  • - Pass-- - Password

  • - Password.

  • - One, two, three.

  • - One, two, three, four, five.

  • - The password to my body?

  • Or what's the password to, like, my phone?

  • - [Interviewer] I was thinking to you phone.

  • - My phone password is--

  • - Eight, zero, zero, eight. (laughs)

  • - 69, 69, 69.

  • - Three, three, three, three, three, three, three.

  • - It's all threes.

  • - [Interviewer] Mine too.

  • - O, eight, o , two.

  • It's my grandpa's birthday.

  • - It's my dad's name, who passed away.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - My password!

  • - To what?

  • - [Interviewer] Bank account?

  • - Kiss my ass, now!

  • That's a zero in there, in the word now.

  • - I just do different versions of my Chinese nickname and then birth year.

  • - Birthday.

  • - Birthday.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - It's something.

  • - A bunch of numbers.

  • - It's a lot of letters.

  • - [Interviewer] (laughing) What's one of the letters?

  • - Starts with an S and there's a Q in there somewhere.

  • - There's a five somewhere.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - I'm not tellin' nobody that!

  • - [Interviewer] Why not?

  • - My password is the same for everything.

  • - So, if I told you one password,

  • you'd be able to unlock my life.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - Why would I tell you?

  • - [Interviewer] Why not?

  • - Because this is the internet.

  • (woman giggles)

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - My password?

  • - My password!

  • - Ooh.

  • - Ooh.

  • - One, two, three, four, fuck off.

  • - It has to do with the Pillsbury Doughboy.

  • (man laughs)

  • - It has to do something with Zelda.

  • - It always includes my dog's name.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your dog's name?

  • - Java.

  • - [Interviewer] Why are you telling me this?

  • - Cause, he's so special!

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - Should I say that?

  • - [Interviewer] Probably not.

  • - 4-H-6-8-I-C-V-K.

  • - Valentine, pizza, 11, asterisk.

  • - Loser, two, two, one.

  • - Midnight, swan, double zeros.

  • - Ravenclaw, with the E as a three.

  • - Totoro for life.

  • - Honey bun 88.

  • - Soup 28.

  • - I like honey buns.

  • - I love the outdoors, 50, exclamation point.

  • - It's hoops 24/7.

  • - [Interviewer] What accounts do you use that with?

  • - Most of 'em. (laughs)

  • - Are the Russians gonna come get my phone?

  • I don't have that much intel.

  • - What are you going to do, look at my student loan debt? (laughs)

  • - The government reads my fuckin' emails anyways.

  • - [Interviewer] Do you think you protect yourself enough?

  • - No, on my desk at work I have a post-it note that says my password to everything.

  • - [Interviewer] Why don't you try harder?

  • - 'Cause then I'm just gonna forget a password.

  • - [Interviewer] Have you ever had you identity stolen?

  • - Probably.

  • - Yes.

  • No, I haven't... Actually, I recently did.

  • - I probably will as a result of this video.

  • - I've had someone steal my credit card information.

  • - They like, bought a buncha stuff at Footlocker.

  • - She ran it up at the sex store.

  • - One person used $68 at a McDonald's.

  • - I was gettin' food charges, alcohol charges,

  • they mighta bought a prostitute, I don't know.

  • - I have been a victim of identity fraud.

  • - Hi, to all the other me's out there.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - I'm not not giving you my password.

  • - What, do you want me to give you my social security number, too?

  • How 'bout my credit card number, let's do that.

  • - [Interviewer] Last four digits of your social.

  • - Um, there's no way.

  • - (laughing) I can't say my password.

  • - [Interviewer] Why not?

  • - Secret.

  • - Shh.

  • - I don't have a password.

  • - [Interviewer] How 'bout your mother's maiden name?

  • - No.

  • - [Interviewer] What was the name of your first pet?

  • - No.

  • - [Interviewer] What's the make of your first car?

  • - I'm a woman, I don't drive, I'm not allowed.

  • - [Interviewer] How 'bout your social security number?

  • - What is this?

  • (woman laughs)

  • - [Interviewer] Last four of your social.

  • - Two, seven, five, three.

  • - Three, zero, seven, two.

  • - Six, seven, one, nine. (laughs)

  • - [Interviewer] Why are you telling me that?

  • - I don't know. (laughs)

  • - My first ever password that I made--

  • - Was I love Johnny Depp 64.

  • - Crazy bitch 69.

  • - Sexy chicks, with an X.

  • - Just fuck, and then a bunch of numbers.

  • - One that I used for a really long time--

  • - Was rim job.

  • - And I just added one, two, three at the end.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - My oldest son's name and his birth month

  • - My son's name and his age or his grade.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your son's name?

  • - Ben.

  • - I've had the same password for a long time and it is race car.

  • - If a squash can make you smile.

  • - Don't settle, one.

  • - Capital H, hotshot one, two, three, four, five.

  • - Should I even be saying these, wait.

  • - People are making them up, right?

  • - [Interviewer] I wish more people made them up.

  • Do you think you protect yourself well enough?

  • - Physically, like fighting somebody, stabbing somebody?

  • - [Interviewer] Password protection.

  • - Oh, password protection, yes.

  • - [Interviewer] What's your password?

  • - Bubbles, period, 16.

  • - [Interviewer] What's that to?

  • - That's to everything.

  • - [Interviewer] You just told me your password to everything?

  • - I mean, you don't know my username.

  • - [Interviewer] Couple million people are gonna see this video.

  • - I'm gonna go home and change my passwords. (laughs)

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