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This weekend was jam-packed with sports news,
which means it's time for another edition
of I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
-Hit it. Hit it. -Yeah!
-What's up, sports freaks? -(grunts)
-I'm Michael Kosta. -I'm Roy Wood Jr.
-And, Kosta, what a weekend it was for sports. -Wow.
Yankees. Dodgers. Baseball playoffs.
Redskins got beat so bad,
they fired their coach at 5:00 in the morning.
What games did you watch?
I actually didn't watch any sports.
I went to see the Joker movie.
(laughs) It's hilarious!
I mean, clown movies are so funny.
(laughs)
I think you watched that wrong.
Anyway, let's get started with some history being made
in the world of gymnastics.
World champion gymnast Simone Biles
is making history again.
The Olympic phenom wowed the crowd
during the world championships this weekend
with two moves that have never been done before.
And get this-- each of those new moves?
They will now be called the Biles.
NEWSWOMAN: The first, twisting three times
while doing two flips in midair during floor exercise.
The second on the balance beam.
ANNOUNCER: Backflip, backflip, double-double.
There it is! That's the Biles!
NEWSWOMAN: With two moves already named for her,
one on the vault at last year's world's
and this on floor exercise.
ANNOUNCER: Double layout with a half twist,
also known as the Biles.
-Yeah! -Yes!
-Just flipping! Flipping! -Simone Biles...
I mean, she's out there making history
with all her flips and spins and vaults.
I'm worried one of these times, she's gonna keep spinning
-and just shoot off into space. -It might happen.
It might happen.
-Let's just think about this for a second. -Yeah.
-Have you thought about this? -Okay.
How amazing this is?
Simone has four moves named after her,
-which makes everything easier for the announcer. -That's true.
-Yep, yep. -If you're announcing for Simone Biles, I mean,
"Simone is now going into a Biles with a Biles,
"and here she comes with a Biles.
And, oh! Oh, she stuck the Biles! Oh, my goodness!"
They should just rename gymnastics "Simone Biles."
Uh, yeah. I don't know. You know, Roy,
I don't think this is such a big deal.
I mean, my P.E. teacher named
a gymnastics move after me. Okay?
It's the Michael Kosta, and it's when you're playing dodgeball
and you go for the ball and your pants fall down
and everyone sees the penis-shaped birthmark
on your butt.
-(wolf whistle) -Damn. That happened?
That happened to me 11 times, Roy. So...
We're gonna move on!
The NBA season tips off in a couple weeks,
but the preseason is already cooking.
That's right. But like that time I wore a do-rag,
it's not without controversy.
REPORTER: This morning, Daryl Morey,
the general manager of the Houston Rockets,
setting off a firestorm with this now-deleted tweet.
(reading):
-(shouting) -That tweet referring
to the massive protests against Beijing
and the former British colony.
China, where the NBA is the number one sports league,
reacted swiftly,
putting intense pressure on the Rockets.
The Chinese Basketball Association,
run by former Rocket Yao Ming,
announced it would suspend all cooperation
with the Houston team.
The team's owner tweeting...
(reading):
-Oh, man. This is huge. -Yeah, yeah.
-This is very huge. -Yeah.
The Rockets GM tweeted out support
to the Hong Kong protesters.
Now China is shutting down their relationship with the NBA.
This is a bit of a total overreaction from China.
That's like finding a spider in your bedroom
-and you burn down the whole house, you know? -Mm-hmm.
-You only need to burn down the bedroom. -Yeah.
This is kind of a surprise to me though,
because China and the Houston Rockets have a lot in common.
-That's true. -James Harden.
-James Harden likes to work in isolation, -Mm-hmm.
and China likes forcing people to work in isolation.
That's true. Look, look, a-and look at Yao Ming.
I mean, that's a blast from the past.
Did you know he's still seven-foot-six,
even after he retired?
I mean, why keep being tall if you're not even in the NBA?
That's a good point. But I got to be honest with you, Kosta.
I'm disappointed in the NBA.
You're going to silence one of your execs
to keep making money overseas?
I agree, Roy. China is the victim here.
-That's not what I said. -What?
Wait a minute, are you getting paid by China?
That is cr-- absolutely crazy.
But almost as crazy as not using Chinese integrated circuitry
for your integrated circuitry needs.
It's so good, you won't even care if it's spying on you.
Sellout.
-(cheering and applause) -Speaking...
speaking of basketball,
let's move now to the NCAA,
-where the Kansas Jayhawks, you know, -Yeah.
they had a big preseason celebration
to mark their first practice.
They even hired Snoop Dogg to perform.
But whoever booked him clearly doesn't know
-who Snoop Dogg is. -That's right.
This morning, the University of Kansas
is apologizing for this video that you see here.
Wearing a KU shirt,
Snoop Dogg performed several of his hits,
uncensored, fired bills into the crowd with a money cannon
and poles were brought out for "acrobatic dancers."
This happened Friday night at an event that was meant
to kick off the Jayhawks' men's basketball season.
The University of Kansas athletic director, Jeff Long,
apologized, saying, "We expected a clean version of the show."
-I don't... -(cheering and applause)
I don't... I don't understand.
Okay, what did the organizers expect to happen?
-Yeah. -If you invite Snoop Dogg,
-if you invite Snoop Dogg to perform, -Yeah.
-you know what you're getting. -That's right.
-You're getting some cussing, getting some pimping, -Yeah.
-getting some booties, getting some weed. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What did you expect, the Kidz Bop version of "Gin and Juice"?
Oh! I would love a Kidz Bop version of "Gin and Juice."
You know? ♪ Rolling down the sidewalk in my Big Wheel ♪
♪ Sipping on Juicy Juice ♪
-♪ Laid back ♪ -♪ Laid back ♪
♪ With my mind on my Legos and my Legos on my mind. ♪
-Boom. Boom. -No, that was terrible. -(cheering, applause)
That was...
It's-it's usually better when I wear my do-rag.
But, Roy, this-this wasn't a good look for the school.
You can't have strippers at a campus event.
(stammering)
They were not strippers.
They were acrobatic dancers.
Okay. They-they were acrobatic dancers
until Snoop started showering money on them.
That's the rule.
If anyone throws cash at you,
you automatically become a stripper, okay?
You take your clothes off every night when you come home, right?
But if someone's throwing money at you, boom, you're a stripper.
Well, if that's the case, Kosta,
-I'm gonna make you a stripper right now. -Yeah.
-Oh, I love that! Call me White Mocha! -Dance for me.
-Dance for me. Yeah. Yeah. -Call me White Mocha!
-Dance for me, Kosta. -You want to see my birthmark?
-Oh! No, no, no! No, no, no, no. -You want to see my birthmark?
-What? -That's all for us, Trevor! Back to you!
-(whoops) -Michael Kosta and Roy Wood Jr., everybody.
コツ:単語をクリックしてすぐ意味を調べられます!

読み込み中…

I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking - Simone Biles & A Snoop Dogg Show | The Daily Show

28 タグ追加 保存
林宜悉 2019 年 11 月 10 日 に公開
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