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  • This weekend was jam-packed with sports news,

  • which means it's time for another edition

  • of I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking.

  • -♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)

  • -Hit it. Hit it. -Yeah!

  • -What's up, sports freaks? -(grunts)

  • -I'm Michael Kosta. -I'm Roy Wood Jr.

  • -And, Kosta, what a weekend it was for sports. -Wow.

  • Yankees. Dodgers. Baseball playoffs.

  • Redskins got beat so bad,

  • they fired their coach at 5:00 in the morning.

  • What games did you watch?

  • I actually didn't watch any sports.

  • I went to see the Joker movie.

  • (laughs) It's hilarious!

  • I mean, clown movies are so funny.

  • (laughs)

  • I think you watched that wrong.

  • Anyway, let's get started with some history being made

  • in the world of gymnastics.

  • World champion gymnast Simone Biles

  • is making history again.

  • The Olympic phenom wowed the crowd

  • during the world championships this weekend

  • with two moves that have never been done before.

  • And get this-- each of those new moves?

  • They will now be called the Biles.

  • NEWSWOMAN: The first, twisting three times

  • while doing two flips in midair during floor exercise.

  • The second on the balance beam.

  • ANNOUNCER: Backflip, backflip, double-double.

  • There it is! That's the Biles!

  • NEWSWOMAN: With two moves already named for her,

  • one on the vault at last year's world's

  • and this on floor exercise.

  • ANNOUNCER: Double layout with a half twist,

  • also known as the Biles.

  • -Yeah! -Yes!

  • -Just flipping! Flipping! -Simone Biles...

  • I mean, she's out there making history

  • with all her flips and spins and vaults.

  • I'm worried one of these times, she's gonna keep spinning

  • -and just shoot off into space. -It might happen.

  • It might happen.

  • -Let's just think about this for a second. -Yeah.

  • -Have you thought about this? -Okay.

  • How amazing this is?

  • Simone has four moves named after her,

  • -which makes everything easier for the announcer. -That's true.

  • -Yep, yep. -If you're announcing for Simone Biles, I mean,

  • "Simone is now going into a Biles with a Biles,

  • "and here she comes with a Biles.

  • And, oh! Oh, she stuck the Biles! Oh, my goodness!"

  • They should just rename gymnastics "Simone Biles."

  • Uh, yeah. I don't know. You know, Roy,

  • I don't think this is such a big deal.

  • I mean, my P.E. teacher named

  • a gymnastics move after me. Okay?

  • It's the Michael Kosta, and it's when you're playing dodgeball

  • and you go for the ball and your pants fall down

  • and everyone sees the penis-shaped birthmark

  • on your butt.

  • -(wolf whistle) -Damn. That happened?

  • That happened to me 11 times, Roy. So...

  • We're gonna move on!

  • The NBA season tips off in a couple weeks,

  • but the preseason is already cooking.

  • That's right. But like that time I wore a do-rag,

  • it's not without controversy.

  • REPORTER: This morning, Daryl Morey,

  • the general manager of the Houston Rockets,

  • setting off a firestorm with this now-deleted tweet.

  • (reading):

  • -(shouting) -That tweet referring

  • to the massive protests against Beijing

  • and the former British colony.

  • China, where the NBA is the number one sports league,

  • reacted swiftly,

  • putting intense pressure on the Rockets.

  • The Chinese Basketball Association,

  • run by former Rocket Yao Ming,

  • announced it would suspend all cooperation

  • with the Houston team.

  • The team's owner tweeting...

  • (reading):

  • -Oh, man. This is huge. -Yeah, yeah.

  • -This is very huge. -Yeah.

  • The Rockets GM tweeted out support

  • to the Hong Kong protesters.

  • Now China is shutting down their relationship with the NBA.

  • This is a bit of a total overreaction from China.

  • That's like finding a spider in your bedroom

  • -and you burn down the whole house, you know? -Mm-hmm.

  • -You only need to burn down the bedroom. -Yeah.

  • This is kind of a surprise to me though,

  • because China and the Houston Rockets have a lot in common.

  • -That's true. -James Harden.

  • -James Harden likes to work in isolation, -Mm-hmm.

  • and China likes forcing people to work in isolation.

  • That's true. Look, look, a-and look at Yao Ming.

  • I mean, that's a blast from the past.

  • Did you know he's still seven-foot-six,

  • even after he retired?

  • I mean, why keep being tall if you're not even in the NBA?

  • That's a good point. But I got to be honest with you, Kosta.

  • I'm disappointed in the NBA.

  • You're going to silence one of your execs

  • to keep making money overseas?

  • I agree, Roy. China is the victim here.

  • -That's not what I said. -What?

  • Wait a minute, are you getting paid by China?

  • That is cr-- absolutely crazy.

  • But almost as crazy as not using Chinese integrated circuitry

  • for your integrated circuitry needs.

  • It's so good, you won't even care if it's spying on you.

  • Sellout.

  • -(cheering and applause) -Speaking...

  • speaking of basketball,

  • let's move now to the NCAA,

  • -where the Kansas Jayhawks, you know, -Yeah.

  • they had a big preseason celebration

  • to mark their first practice.

  • They even hired Snoop Dogg to perform.

  • But whoever booked him clearly doesn't know

  • -who Snoop Dogg is. -That's right.

  • This morning, the University of Kansas

  • is apologizing for this video that you see here.

  • Wearing a KU shirt,

  • Snoop Dogg performed several of his hits,

  • uncensored, fired bills into the crowd with a money cannon

  • and poles were brought out for "acrobatic dancers."

  • This happened Friday night at an event that was meant

  • to kick off the Jayhawks' men's basketball season.

  • The University of Kansas athletic director, Jeff Long,

  • apologized, saying, "We expected a clean version of the show."

  • -I don't... -(cheering and applause)

  • I don't... I don't understand.

  • Okay, what did the organizers expect to happen?

  • -Yeah. -If you invite Snoop Dogg,

  • -if you invite Snoop Dogg to perform, -Yeah.

  • -you know what you're getting. -That's right.

  • -You're getting some cussing, getting some pimping, -Yeah.

  • -getting some booties, getting some weed. -Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

  • What did you expect, the Kidz Bop version of "Gin and Juice"?

  • Oh! I would love a Kidz Bop version of "Gin and Juice."

  • You know? ♪ Rolling down the sidewalk in my Big Wheel

  • Sipping on Juicy Juice

  • -♪ Laid back ♪ -♪ Laid back

  • With my mind on my Legos and my Legos on my mind. ♪

  • -Boom. Boom. -No, that was terrible. -(cheering, applause)

  • That was...

  • It's-it's usually better when I wear my do-rag.

  • But, Roy, this-this wasn't a good look for the school.

  • You can't have strippers at a campus event.

  • (stammering)

  • They were not strippers.

  • They were acrobatic dancers.

  • Okay. They-they were acrobatic dancers

  • until Snoop started showering money on them.

  • That's the rule.

  • If anyone throws cash at you,

  • you automatically become a stripper, okay?

  • You take your clothes off every night when you come home, right?

  • But if someone's throwing money at you, boom, you're a stripper.

  • Well, if that's the case, Kosta,

  • -I'm gonna make you a stripper right now. -Yeah.

  • -Oh, I love that! Call me White Mocha! -Dance for me.

  • -Dance for me. Yeah. Yeah. -Call me White Mocha!

  • -Dance for me, Kosta. -You want to see my birthmark?

  • -Oh! No, no, no! No, no, no, no. -You want to see my birthmark?

  • -What? -That's all for us, Trevor! Back to you!

  • -(whoops) -Michael Kosta and Roy Wood Jr., everybody.

This weekend was jam-packed with sports news,

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喋りながら謝罪する - シモーン・ビルズ&スヌープ・ドッグ・ショー|ザ・デイリー・ショー (I Apologize for Talking While You Were Talking - Simone Biles & A Snoop Dogg Show | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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